503 - Bad Names, Bad Hair, Bad Aliens, And Bad Bricks

[1:21 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Channel 4 spelled my in-laws' last name wrong on TV.

They put it in as DEMIT

[1:21 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Its DAMNIT

[1:22 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

One time they spelled my friend's name Shane as Shake on the news so he changed his social media to say Shake Harrison

[1:22 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

LOL

And so a new name is born of meadia covrage

[1:25 PM] 

“Starring Shake Stonejaw

“And Jove Damnit

[1:27 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

“Special appearance by Shake Legsaw

[1:30 PM] 

"Co-starring Vivian Vavoom as crack reporter Meadia Covrage"

[1:30 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Oh I found a last name in the system the other day Mr. Blue. It was Whynott

[1:31 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Bye Fellas

[1:33 PM] 

"And Catskills jokester Bye Fellas as himself."

[1:36 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Skeeter Bugsworth

[1:37 PM] 

Bugsworth plays the role of "Whynott", I assume

[1:38 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

We actually have two Whynotts in the system

[1:39 PM] 

(looks to see how many "Howso"s we have)

Gotta Howski...and a Howson

The character names of the winter sports instructor and a confused new dad

[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I saw an article about a kid in Russia that has been advancing more quickly than normal since birth and is recalling things from Mars from when he used to live there.

It was burnt by nucular war

[9:34 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

“Fallout: Mars”

[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

nuclear

And that the 7ft tall beings on it still live there underground

[9:35 AM] 

Well...they're awfully quiet

[9:42 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/genius-russian-boy-can-remember-11479067

[9:45 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Were Martians also responsible for that haircut?

[9:45 AM]  Mr. Blue:  

That haircut has some problems

[9:45 AM] 

"The boy – pictured with Russian haircut – is a consummate BS artist from Mars."

[9:46 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

The Marllet - Business in the front, trans-planetary genius in the back

[9:46 AM] 

"The secret is behind the Sphinx's hair, somewhere.  It's kind of a mess."

[9:49 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Just behind the ear, not the nose

lol

[9:49 AM] 

That being said, the legend there is a library hidden in the Great Sphinx has been around a while, and there have been hidden chambers or something coming off as hidden chambers detected in it.

I'm betting he's basically a high IQ sci-fi writer, is what he is.

[9:50 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Let him at at the sphinx

[9:50 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Nothing in that article would even be specific to Mars or the Sphinx

[9:50 AM] 

No...article is empty

Let's have this list of astounding details, please.

[9:51 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Ask him what the temperature is on Mars, when the Mons Olympus last erupted, how much water is on it, how long the canal/valley is.

[9:51 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

“There's this little brick behind the ear. Push the brick. I don't know which one.”

[9:51 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

The Sphinx was carved out of solid rock

[9:51 AM]

Eh, it was modified/restored a couple times on record even in ancient days

[9:52 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

If they tried to hollow it out it would've crumbled

[9:53 AM]

Nah, it's just a switch. You work the mechanism, the Sphinx's tail lifts, there's a grunting noise and all the Martian knowledge will push out.

[9:53 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

There is a spot in pictures, under the ear

But I think its just a spot

lol

[9:54 AM] 

(Nick Cage, holding Constitution of Alabama and Napoleon's last pair of underwear from Elbe) "So the decoded riddle from Section 182 says - The Russian Kid Conveniently Forgot.... The Russian conveniently forgot...  Of course!  Alexander Hamilton's Sunday suit!  So it's the one with the Ibis that Lafayette chiselled off in 1793. (Puts underwear on head, looks though fly, picks and pushes brick) So obvious...Dolly Madison's ice cream recipe was right all along."

[9:55 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Who was it shot up the Sphinx again?

[9:56 AM] 

I don't think anyone ever admitted it.  Last blame I recall, the French shot it off, but it probably just fell off.  It's a little old.

[9:56 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I wanna say Ottomans

Pre-French

[9:57 AM] 

It's probably written down somewhere.

"Out of olives.  Get lamb for party.  Nose fell off Sphinx today.  Hit 7' Martian with bad hair.  Hilarious!"

[9:58 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

The only 7 ft aliens I know of are the Nordic ones

[10:00 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Now it's the slavo-mongoloid ones

[10:01 AM] 

Heh

[10:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Here they are – the human-martian hybrid master race

http://slavsquat.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/403.jpg

Easily spotted by their short femurs and high tolerances to potato wodka

[10:05 AM] 

They are roughly 7' tall if pulled up by their Slavic-style male haircuts

That whole site needs shared, Mr. Blue

http://slavsquat.com/?fp_type=news

[10:08 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I found a site, but then lost it, that was called "Russia or Ohio?"

Someone takes pictures from people's Facebook accounts and you have to guess if they're from Russia or Ohio

[10:13 AM] 

https://www.google.com/search?q=cleveland+russian+festival&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj_3sGP4KzXAhXGdSYKHfHYDPUQ_AUIDCgD&biw=1170&bih=797

Looks like that might be a difficult game...

(later)

[2:32 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_alleged_extraterrestrial_beings

[2:42 PM] 

That'll be useful, actually.  I'm running an anti-alian invaders game.

Never heard of the draconians being quite so tall

[2:46 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

I like the nordic ones

"We have studied hoomans and have learned to immitute them exaltly."

Human but just.. not quite right

Too perfect, weird mannerisms

Studies things closely that should be ordinary to anyone else

[2:56 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yeah

Nordics would be interesting

Greys have become nightmare

The Nordics have tapered off and now its always greys

Nordics musta got the boot from Earth.

I have had an alien experience

That's why those movies freak me out

I never got to see them, just heard them and i could not move

Maybe that's why my immune system sucks. Stupid experiment they forgot about.

lol

My experience was laying in my bed on my belly sleeping. I hear something and wake up to a humming vibration feeling all around me. I could look around my room a bit but could not move. I saw flashing lights, heard mechanical talking sounds behind me just out of view.

The humming was crazy

A tingling pressure all over me, vibrating everything

I may have seen something but can't really remember it for sure

This came a month or so after my dad and i saw an orange UFO

Straight up above us - strange shape, glowing and moving extremely fast and taking angles like nothing i have ever seen before

[3:02 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

The scene in Signs with the alien scared the crap out of me the first time

[3:03 PM] 

Mrs. Silver asked "What do you think aliens look like?"

I said "Just like us, some of them."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because, based on available mythologies, we were probably altered to match them."

"Why?"

"Pleasant to look at servants... Amusement... Sex toys..."

“Sex toys? Any proof?”

“You mean besides stories of gods/angels having kids? I'd say most obviously the conspicuous and unnatural lack of a penis bone in an ape. We were changed to match their naughty bits, hang around in polite company, and wear their clothes. Constantly rigid thingies would be a problem."

[3:02 PM]  Mr. Blue:

Ah 

[3:07 PM]

But in the end we couldn't be nice to the ones that look like us when they came around to help us out.

Because modern humans suck

So now we have damned Grays all over

[3:09 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

We are damned dirty apes

[1:39 PM] 

So...house renovation show down in the break room...

"What's this in the kitchen?"

"Have to pull away some wall."

"Uh oh...some sort of brick structure."

"Better see where it goes... yup, all the way through to the 3rd floor!"

(Me - "These people do this work and don't know what a chimney is?  Heck, there's fireplaces attached to it and everything.")

[Later]

"Well, its demolition day.  Kinda worried about taking out that brick structure." 

(Me - "Oh COME ON!")

[1:40 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Gotta make it dramatic

Or less not interesting

I have a useless chimney on the side of my house, there for nothing now

[1:43 PM] 

This one was up through the middle, actually

Still...

Its not like the USA is unfamiliar with the idea. 

"And every year, Santa comes down through the mysterious brick structure found in some houses with fireplaces attached."

[1:46 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Once people got furnaces, they used them as vent stacks not smoke stacks

[1:46 PM] 

(Bert from Merry Poppins singing) "Brick bricky brick! Brick bricky brick! Brick struct-er-oo!  A sweep sweeps out structures that pierce the house through!" 

502 - The Modus Operandi And Foibles Of Serial Haunters

[9:45 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

On Mind Hunter they finally labeled the people they are after as “serial killers”

[9:54 AM] 

"How about Chronic Homicidal Maniac?"

"Naaaah...sounds like a punk band playing at CBGB's"

(Detective walks in, munching bowl of Boo Berry) "This cereal is killer.  What are we talking about guys?"

[9:54 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

They had been saying “sequence killer”

Then the one guy said its more like a continuing story

[9:55 AM] 

I might have picked "pattern", myself, considering they tend to have strict MOs

[9:56 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yes

Sequence was not right

[9:57 AM] 

Serial isn't that suggestive either.

I mean it is...but

That just says they do it over and over....hardly an MO thing. 

A mafia killer might kill dozens of targets in his career...yet is not a serial killer.

A commando might kill a bunch of opponents over the course of a campaign...yet is not a serial killer.

[10:03 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Bundy was a weird one

He almost got off in trial, and might've - while representing himself - if he hadn't tried to escape.

He was good at hiding evidence. Never left fingerprints... Committed crimes in areas that were hard to find so evidence would deteriorate... Was smart as far as prolonging trials and moving venues to make the case drag on... What few witnesses there were might move away or die or forget.

He even exploited his vague appearance

People would had trouble describing him to investigators - sketch artists couldn't come up with anything close to him. Nothing discernably distinct.

He just looked like a guy

[10:07 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

They always say representing yourself is bad, but if you're very intelligent you could do it

[10:08 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Most of these guys are smart. You have to be pretty smart to keep getting away with murders

[10:09 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yeah, normally the impulse and passion killers get caught right away. Pros and serial killers are systematic.

[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Other than at a mass incident like Vegas or that night club, murderers rarely get away with even one.

But continuously abducting locals and killing them...the average person would get caught after 1 or 2

Someone would see you, you'd leave evidence behind, if there was a plan it was crap, etc.

[10:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

It is even harder nowadays

Police can find and analyze so much more evidence now

A lot of these serial guys get caught because they was doing too well and not getting recognition. And they want it, so get involved with the police to get attention.

[10:13 AM] 

I already revealed my one secret “if ever” trick to people who would fink on me so I can repeat it.

Collect a week's worth of hair clippings from salons and barber shops and even pet groomers and shake it all over the crime site.

[10:14 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Heh

[10:15 AM] 

"What did we get back on DNA and micro evidence?"

"Well...there were approximately 75 killers involved: men, women, children and pets..."

[10:15 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

LOL

[10:15 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Some of these guys know they are smart and just wanna see if they can outsmart the police.  Life is so boring to them.

[10:15 AM] 

Yes

[10:15 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Pretty much

Ed Kemper finally confessed out of boredom

He was waiting for the cops to catch him but they never did

[10:16 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

I'd screw up just by looking over my shoulder non-stop

Probably leave murder furniture just inside the door of my house

[10:16 AM] 

"Police have captured the Over-the-Shoulder Killer."

(chief) "Officers observed the perpetrator looking over his shoulder non-stop as witnesses described, and followed."

The "Perfect Murder" guys were just wanting to prove they were smarter than everyone else, I believe. Didn't care who the target was. (barely recall that case)

[10:16 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Those kids from like the 30s?

[10:22 AM] 

https://www.thoughtco.com/leopold-and-loeb-1779252

"Two brilliant, wealthy, Chicago teenagers attempted to commit the perfect crime just for the thrill of it but were – ultimately – just pretentious teenagers."

[10:23 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The not so perfect crime

[9:07 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Mr. Brown, I just saw that this book has “1408” in it. That's really cool.  I love that movie

[9:08 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yep

Better story than the movie too

I actually bought that book to read it before I watched the movie

[9:09 AM] 

Such a clever title "(wink, whisper) it adds up to 13! ;)"

(whisper back) "In Numerology it adds up to 4 ;)"

Heard it was pretty good though

[9:10 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The movie is one of my favorite horror movies - keeps making me imagine myself in that situation.

Though...I would handle it with more pants wetting I'm sure

[9:11 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

If i got in that situation I would have to just sit there

Stuff flying around the room. Act like nothing is happening

You know, to make the demons get bored

Just keep sitting there, talking out loud to yourself: “Hmm i think i want a pizza”

[9:12 AM] 

"Honey!  Get the camera!"

(Holds up iPhone, waves in selfie mode)  "HI-iii!  This is TOTES happening in my hotel room!"

[9:13 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Its the new way things are discovered

(Facebook) “So i was taking a selfie and wow there was this thing in the background! What you think?”

[9:14 AM] 

"Effects at this hotel are AWEsome!  4 stars n' sh-"

[9:14 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The iPhone X has a P.K.E. Meter option

[9:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

lol

[9:15 AM] 

"Me again!  You'll never guess...that's my bed UNDER me!  I'm levitating!"

[9:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Post a video all shaky and blurry...whole room is shaking

[9:15 AM] 

I'd like to see this movie, actually.

An update to "The Canterville Ghost". Centuries of the ghost terrifying people to death and he comes up against that.

Love that story

"OMG, this is so funny I'm gonna pee! Allison is possessed and telling us she's going to boil our guts in hellfire and eat them while we're still alive!  Hi-LARE-eous!  (turns phone) Look!"

[9:17 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Sounds like a SyFy movie

[12:15 PM] 

So...assuming I'm not on glorified guard duty or some BS like that tonight...I'm considering using dementia test questions for the paranormal investigation.

I rarely hear any of the ghost hunt show folk ask things like "Do you know where you are?" or "What year is it?"

Makes sense to me though

[12:18 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Asking who the current president is

[12:18 PM] 

Yup

[12:19 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

That's a whole other kind of horror show!!!

Come on folks!

[12:19 PM] 

Simply - "What is this thing called?"

[12:19 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

“Well, after these answers Mr. Ghost, I believe you have suffered a concussion. Have you been going through walls a lot lately?”

lol

[12:20 PM] 

Well, with this approach you could get both intelligent response...but also gauge mental awareness.

If the spook still thinks its 1876... It's not the same situation as the one who knows what a computer is.

Someone “in 1876” may not even know they are dead.

Knowledge of modern times?  That spirit certainly does know they are dead.

[12:21 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Then there's the dumbass ghosts

[12:22 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

lol

"dumbass ghosts"

No Mr. Blue! Bad! You don't talk to ghosts like that!

[12:21 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

I like when they have them turn on flashlights

Somebody is walking through the house with some sort of fire in their hand

[12:22 PM] 

Heh. Always like that too.

"Come up to this device...it can't hurt you.  If you touch it the light will come on."

Maybe.

Or maybe it burns a ghost like the surface of the Sun.

How the heck would a living person know what hurts a ghost?

[12:23 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

I wanna be slimed.  Until then I don't know that i could be convinced of the presence of ghosts

gimme that ectoplasm

[12:23 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Excited electrons start flowing through them

OUCH OUCH OUCH

[12:24 PM] 

(researcher) "Squeeze this Carolina Reaper...it can't hurt."

(Guy with hands does it)  "Hey!  It doesn't!" 

(Guy with no arms leans in to squeeze it with his mouth)

[12:25 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Ghosts should be antagonized - it's the only way to get a response from anyone or thing. They deserve our contempt for hanging around.

[12:26 PM] 

Nah

Back to my earlier point: a bit of anthropological training would go a long way.

An investigator needs to hang out and try to make contact for a couple weeks til the spirits trust you.

[12:26 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

They are stupid and dead

Unlike me - very smart and very much alive

I'm too smart to die

[12:27 PM] 

Maybe they were too.

"Oh! I'm floating away from my body!  The tunnel!  The bright light!  What's this door in the side?  Ah HA! I bet I don't die if I use the door."

(5 mins later) "Aw fuck..."

[12:27 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

I love when they are doing stuff and realize it may be a demon

Um yeah how do you know its a little girl

lol

“I yelled at this this toddler ghost to play with the doll and now i have claw marks on my arm and feel like I'm dying.”

[12:29 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

If i saw a ghost i wouldn't tell anyone. I'd assume i'm going crazy

They'd say prove it and i couldn't

[12:29 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Its not as crazy feeling as you would think

[12:31 PM] 

I don't feel crazy telling my stuff.  I tell stories anyway.  Do you have any trouble telling people what you dreamed?

At worst you "thought I saw a ghost, it was really interesting"

[12:32 PM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Its just like saying “I'm a Christian”.

Anymore its such a small audience of people to not assume I'm an idiot that i just don't really say it

[12:32 PM] 

"Every time I say it, I think I must be going crazy."

Oh...you mean the other way...

[12:32 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

I'm a Christian

culturally

[12:32 PM] 

;-p

[12:32 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

How do we know the people seeing things are really seeing things that are there but we can't see them?

[12:33 PM] 

@ Brown - I've sometimes wondered if some of these ghosts are just psychics looking forward from the past or back at us from the future

They see us...we see them...

"I saw that ghost holding out the little box asking me my name and if I need help again. I'm so tired of it coming around I told it to get out."

[12:34 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

What if you ended up ghost-hunting yourself?

Heheh

[12:34 PM] 

Brilliant! I LOVE it!

501 - Divine Experiments Gone Wrong

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I watched "The Omen"

I've seen it before

It's not bad, but on 2nd viewing it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense

[10:17 AM] 

Like what?

(book is more detailed, of course)

[10:18 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

So they plant the antichrist baby into a prominent political family so that he can rise up from privilege and take over the world when he gets older

[10:18 AM] 

Yes

[10:18 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

But the kid freaks out at the sight of a church?

How are you supposed to be anything if you can't be within the vicinity of a church?

So then he kills his unborn brother, his mom, and probably his dad too...

How's an orphan supposed to grow up to be politically powerful?

[10:19 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

I never saw the whole movie so I don't know. I think its on Netflix

[10:19 AM] 

He inherited everything and got satanic guardians

See film #2

[10:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Why'd the priest trying to help the good guys have a 666 birthmark?

Maybe like the priest from the hospital who had a "fall from grace", maybe that guy had a "fall from anti-grace"?

[10:29 AM] 

Birthmark or tattoo?  Don't remember.  The prriest was an ex-Satanist, yes.

Damien had the birthmark.  

...and jackal blood...

[10:29 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

They said the priest's was a birthmark too, according to the coroner

[10:30 AM] 

They're all supposed to have the ol' Mark of the Beast anyway

[10:30 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Everyone?

[10:30 AM] 

All the thralls, yeah

This has been interpreted as anything from birthmarks to having a social security number.

This is why a certain segment of the (loopy) population throws fits over any new government ID or RFID chip stories

[10:31 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Once I got a grilled cheese and something else at Eat n' Park and the total was $6.66! Was that my mark?

I was with my missionary grandparents though, and they made me go eat something else so it wouldn't be 666

[10:32 AM] 

Heh

[10:32 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Normal behavior

[10:32 AM] 

Sadly, it is for some

Not a very good strategy, in the end (irony intended)

(Book of Revelations press release) 

"I, THE LORD, will soon publish My next Book, which will give full details of the enemy's plan and how Heaven isn't going to bother to stop any of it until everything is trashed.  Then We...the Good Guys... are going to trash it MORE and kill billions of people.  Then the good people left over get to crowd together into one town and have to stay there for eternity."

(Devil reads the latest in God's "The Bible" series)  "Change of plans, folks...the take-over is off. We do nothing."

"Why master?"

"The Boss doesn't like to be wrong.  So as long as we do none of this stuff in His Book, we stay in charge indefinitely."

"But it is written, Lord."

"Yup.  And He didn't date it."

"But..."

"Look...when Earth is burned out and we have humanity down to some post-environmental tribal level again and it's no fun anymore...we'll do all this stuff."

"Yes, Master!"

"He gets to win... And we let Him and his leftovers have this mess He's talking about."

[10:55 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The meek shall inherit the Earth... when everyone else is done with it...

[10:55 AM] 

Yes.  (Jesus on the mount) "So... Fair warning... Don't be meek, folks."

This interpretation explains how you can have an Epic Final Battle in a little dump like Megiddo

(Thus 'Armageddon')

[11:02 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Yes... The Devil helping to fulfill God's published prophecy does seem unwise.

[11:08 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Seeing how he wanted to be the one sitting on the throne of Heaven's mailbox, no.

“When is it my turn?”

[9:40 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I shun your attempts to use SSL with email - it is the Devil's work

SSL – Secret Satanic Legion

That's is why we diene it, ma'am.

wow

I spelled that so wrong it was another word

Diene - an unsaturated hydrocarbon containing two double bonds between carbon atoms.

I'm Buzzing on cafein this morining if you can't tell hehe

[9:47 AM] 

"Bond...Diene Bond."

"Ah...the famous Double-C-2.  Licensed to saturate...or UNsaturate."

"Very good...so you know me.  (aims gun)  Now lets see how much you know about the Hydrocarbon Atom bomb that went missing over Nassau 2 days ago."

[9:50 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

HYDRO CARBON

That just sounds cool

lol

[9:52 AM] 

Yes

[9:52 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Heil Hydro

[9:53 AM] 

Like if you were to change all the instances of gasoline in a car article, it would sound much cooler.

"And fast? The new Lamborghini is fueled with pure hydrocarbon."

Maybe because it sounds a bit like "hyper"

[9:54 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

It's constructed with pure Hydrocarbon Fiber, man.

[11:44 AM] 

(Archangel Gabriel pours bowl of mini wheats, sits at the computer.  Clicks link as he's munching.  Eyes pop.)

"Boss?  BOSS!!!???  Wake up!  We've got a continuity problem!!!"  

https://cosmosmagazine.com/physics/universe-shouldn-t-exist-cern-physicists-conclude

[11:45 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Reality is a bust

A very big and jiggly bust

[11:46 AM] 

(Later, reality damage control)

"My SELF! Well how did they find out???"  

"They were fooling around measuring sh- again, Sir."

"We just got the stupid GRAVITY wave thing retro-programmed!!!"

[11:47 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Gonna need a script rewrite

[11:47 AM] 

Yup

[11:47 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"Wizards did it"

[11:48 AM] 

Yup

[11:48 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I could explain more than one dimension

One dimension gets all the stuff while the other does not

They coexist very closely

Asymmetrical dimensions

[11:50 AM] 

Background for Mr. McGreen:

"The World" actually was slapped together in 6 days, per Genesis -

Flat...

Four Corners...

Big bowl with the stars stuck on over it...

Rolling Sun and Moon...

And the Heavenly Powers have been scrambling to deal with retro-programming every human question of reality and the BS inconsistencies to make them all “work correctly” since, resulting in the modern universe with all of it's still-inexplicable quirks.

[11:20 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Michael Bay is no longer attached to the live action Dora the Explorer

[11:29 AM] 

"Too many explosions for a G-Rated kid movie"

[11:30 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Before Ben Affleck made Batman vs Superman, he stated that he's done with movies with explosions and if you see him in one he must be hurting for money

[11:30 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

movie voice "In a world of thieving foxes, one girl can save the day. With her talking map and backpack that can eat anything she will... EXPLORE..."

(Intense scenes of explosions and such)

[11:30 AM] 

"Hola!  That means 'Hello'!  ¡Di hola a mi pequeño amigo!”

(BLAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!)

“Do you want to play rough?”

[11:30 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The Map and Backpack would be changed to AI gadgets or something

Experiments on inmates created Swiper

[11:31 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Every 5 minutes she stops the action and asks the screen if you can see something

lol

People on the street around her thinking is this child ok?

Dystopian Dora the Explorer 

She is on a mission to get non-irradiated water

[11:32 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Dora the Survivor

[11:33 AM] 

(sings) "Dora Dora Dora, Delusional Explorer!  LSD y shooms dementa Dora!"

[11:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Pulls out the map, "Hey Dora! What do you need to know?"

Pulls out a little baggy of weed.

“Dora? Why you looking at me like that? Wait!"

Dora rips a piece off him and proceeds to roll a joint.