465 - "Terminator Tutu", Survival Of The Unfittest, and Supervillain Weapons I Promise I'll Never Build Unless Accidently Triggered

[11:01 AM] Mr. Blue:

I watched Terminator 1 & 2 over the weekend again for shits & giggles

The scene at the Technoir club is sooooooo good

I think it's funny that the Terminator keeps running into people his size who dress cool when he time travels

What are the odds he doesn't land on a golf course or inside a Sears or at a construction site?

[11:05 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Well if he landed in a Sears he'd think the Earth is deserted.

[11:05 AM] Mr. Blue:

Imagine the same movie, but he's wearing boots and a hardhat

[11:05 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Or a polo that's too big, K-Swiss shoes and cargo shorts

[11:06 AM] Mr. Blue:

Or if he landed in the water and the first person he saw was a scuba diver?

'Course they riffed on that in the 3rd one where he lands in a western bar and gets the leathers from the gay stripper.

[11:07 AM]

(to drag queen) "Your clothes...give them to me."

"If you say so, hot beef."

[11:07 AM] Mr. McGreen:

3rd one was worth watching because of the ending

[11:07 AM] Mr. Blue:

It was good.

There's a deleted scene that explains why the Terminator looks and sounds like he does.

[11:08 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Yeah, I saw that

[12:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

Headline: "Umbrella sharing start-up loses nearly all of its 300,000 umbrellas in a matter of weeks."

[12:31 PM]

"All reported left at restaurants by mistake."

[1:03 PM] Mr. Blue:

I guess Mr. Brown couldn't make it.

[1:06 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Maybe he had gluten by mistake.

[1:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

Poor bastard

[1:07 PM] Mr. McGreen:

"I've never seen a town so afraid of Gluten as Hollywood.  I swear I could rob a bank with a bagel." Ryan Reynolds

[1:11 PM] Mr. Blue:

I wonder if gluten intolerance is just mass hysteria

[1:12 PM] Mr. McGreen:

My doctor says it is

[1:12 PM] Mr. Blue:

Celiac is a real disease that is testable.

But gluten intolerance? Hard to fathom

[1:12 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Right.

Seeing as its, like, everywhere.

[1:13 PM]

Is it everywhere?

http://www.drschaer-institute.com/us/professional-articles/a-global-map-of-celiac-disease-1229.html

[1:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

Suddenly tens of millions of human beings can't handle something we've been eating for millennia?

Kill 'em.

[1:13 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Its kind of that way with peanuts though.

Peanut allergies have skyrocketed

[1:14 PM] Mr. Blue:

The cure for peanut allergies is to feed kids peanuts.

If they die, they don't pass on their peanut allergy.

No more peanut allergies.

[1:14 PM]

Yes, I've heard that about peanuts

Well...no, the treatment by exposure to peanuts

[1:14 PM] Mr. McGreen:

That sometimes works

I speak from experience because I know parents who have personally tried it.

And their kids are still allergic.

From a Darwin standpoint we could let them die

[1:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

I think we're close to designer babies though, where we can just like, remove that gene

[1:16 PM]

Yes

[1:16 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Doesn't that already exist to some degree?

Now I wanna watch Gattaca

[1:17 PM]

Oh...one of my favorite "Reductress" things recently:

"Four Sassy Glasses Frame Styles That Says Natural Selection Should Have Wiped You Out By Now"

[1:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hehehe

[1:18 PM] Mr. McGreen:

I'm waiting to get my first set of bifocals.

But imma look hawt!

[1:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

I guess we all should have died

On the other hand, maybe we are smart enough to overcome vision problems

[1:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

Mr. Silver - almost certainly
Me - maybe
Mr. McGreen - smilodon food

[2:14 PM]

Sting

[2:15 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Wrestler or musician?

[2:15 PM]

Calling you smilodon food

[2:16 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Oh

Odds are with our modern flaws we'd all have been dead by our age anyway

What? In the prehistoric days?

Dont forget, I'm not old like you guys are

I'm a strapping young lad

Spry

[2:17 PM]

(Prehistoric Silver and Prehistoric Blue looking at prehistoric McGreen)

“What wrong with he hair color?”

“It wrong. He bad spirit.”

“Hit with rocks!”

[2:32 PM] Mr. Blue:

Huge numbers of people died in infancy.

[2:33 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Yeah, because everyone was running around fighting for The Prize

It was The Quickening that lead them to cut those infants' heads off.

I think my unborn son has turned my fiance into an evil she-b* from hell

[2:58 PM]

Sounds 'bout normal, yes.

How strapping old are you, BTW?

[2:58 PM] Mr. McGreen:

28, and what I said earlier about being strapping and spry...I lied

[3:05 PM]

Depending where you were living, 28 was a fine old age to succumb to things like Nile drinking-water parasites.

[3:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

Or catching caved-in-skull syndrome from your violent neighbors.

[3:06 PM]

Plenty of that illness.

[3:12 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Isn't it still that way?

[3:32 PM]

Hehe

[10:04 AM] Mr. McGreen:

When I was playing (game), I was not a regular person

[10:04 AM]

If you were a true regular person you probably wouldn't be allowed in here

[10:05 AM] Mr. McGreen:

I'm chaotic regular

[10:05 AM]

There ya go.  That works.

[10:05 AM] Mr. Brown:

This is where mad science is formed

[10:06 AM]

Shhhh!   I had dreams of super-villainy in the shower again this morning.  

No trigger words!

Don't say random provocative words like… oh... schematics for a liquid nitrogen blower I worked out!!! ... in here. 

And don't say things like dual settings: stream and cone spray!!! that might get me thinking.

Fortunately, even if I got excitable I'd never design and build such a thing...even if triggered by common words like appalling physical damage estimates!!!

[10:09 AM] Mr. Brown:

So nothing like “dark matter anti plasma acid gun”

[10:10 AM]

Right.

That'd be quite the physics trick, Mr. Brown.

"Acid gun" would be cheaper and easier.

(doesn't write that down in little red “PLANS!” notebook)

[10:14 AM] Mr. McGreen:

I want to make a hatred gun.

My hate toward something becomes tangible.

[10:16 AM]

"How does it work?"

McG "I channel my hatred of the target into the gun.  I point it, activate this trigger, and then the hammer hits the charge, flinging the lead bullet into the target."

Or do you want something purely psionic?

[10:18 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Psionic

[10:18 AM]

What would it...do?

[10:18 AM] Mr. Brown:

You'll need a Hate Helmet to power it.

[10:19 AM]

"Aww...There's a hair in this sandw- BLAM!!!!"

"You need to tune that thing!"

464 - "Al Ghoul! Al Ghoul! Al Ghoul!", Shinny Bald Head, A Short History Of Tourist Rocks, and Mr. Brown Pisses Off The Katzenjammer Good Folk

[2:03 PM] Mr. Blue:

Today I learned the preacher in Beetlejuice was played by the dwarf from Bad Santa / Me Myself and Irene

[2:03 PM] Mr. McGreen:

You know, I've seen neither of those.

[2:03 PM] Mr. Blue:

As long as you've seen Beetlejuice.

[2:05 PM]

Can't recall how to spell the star

Betel

geuse?

[2:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

Betelgeuse

I think that's how Beetlejuice spells it in the movie

[2:07 PM] Mr. McGreen:

So, like, was he ghost of someone or just born as some entity?

[2:07 PM]

Early scripts he was a demon or djinn

[2:07 PM] Mr. Blue:

And much more sinister

[2:07 PM]

Think "ghost" was easier

"Ghost with the most" rolls

"Demon with the...” Uh...hehe...can't say that.

[2:08 PM] Mr. Blue:

Tim Burton wanted him to be played by Sammy Davis Jr

[2:08 PM]

(Burton) "I know...'I'm the djinn with the gin, baby'. Would anyone get that?"

[2:09 PM] Mr. McGreen:

But what was his endgame?

Say his name three times and...ok, then what? Mess with people?

[2:10 PM] Mr. Blue:

I think he was someone/something that had ticked off the wrong people over a few thousand years and had probably a number of curses and hexes on him.

And one of them was he had to to come and go when summoned.

[2:12 PM] Mr. McGreen:

So I have a question.

Why do bald peoples' heads get so shiny? Other hairless parts of your body aren't shiny.

[2:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

Maybe the natural oil that's meant for your hair has no place to go.

[2:14 PM]

The other parts of your body are not hairless

[2:14 PM] Mr. McGreen:

I mean, I've even shaved my head with a razor

[2:14 PM] Mr. Brown:

Have you looked at shaved legs?

They get shinny too.

[2:14 PM]

Especially the shins

...get shinny...

Oh never mind...

[2:14 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Maybe I haven't noticed

[2:15 PM] Mr. Blue:

Shaving creams have lotions in them though, and women put stuff on their legs to make them shiny.

[2:15 PM] Mr. Brown:

Mine are shinny

Because I don't grow hair on all of my legs.

[2:15 PM]

How many legs do you have?

[2:15 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Yeah, when you were walking up the stairs I thought about it

[2:15 PM]

Follicles all empty and get tiny I imagine. That and the natural oils give one that beautiful cueball shine.

[2:16 PM] Mr. Brown:

Maybe it's just the scalp doesn't get roughed up from use.

You're not using the skin on your head constantly to pic things up or rub against stuff.

[2:16 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Maybe you aren't.

[2:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[2:17 PM] Mr. McGreen:

If I got muscly, I'd shave my head and grow a stache like Bronson

[2:17 PM] Mr. Brown:

Tried that...looked like a pedo.

[2:17 PM] Mr. McGreen:

You are not muscly though.

When I did it I just looked like I was stricken with the cancer

[2:19 PM]

https://www.google.com/search?q=Michael+Berryman&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLUz9U3MMyKzylRAjNNDUuy0rSEspOt9NMyc3LBhFVyYnHJI0ZvboGXP-4JSzlNWnPyGqMNFxZFQmpcbK55JZkllUIyXLxSCMM1GKS4uRBcHgA7nAL3egAAAA&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjVneC55PfUAhXTCD4KHQiCDzEQ_AUIBigB&biw=1162&bih=770

I knew I knew you from film!

Your hair threw me, Mr. McGreen.

[2:19 PM] Mr. Brown:

I go for the unshaven look.

Fits me the best.

[2:19 PM] Mr. McGreen:

You mean on the sides, where you have hair?

[2:20 PM] Mr. Blue:

That guy has no fingernails.

[2:20 PM]

Nope

[2:20 PM] Mr. Blue:

No teeth either.

Real ones at least.

[2:20 PM]

He still alive?

Basically allergic to himself, isn't he?

[2:20 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Mr. Blue, you would be great at trivia shows

[2:20 PM]

Berryman was born with hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia which is a rare condition leaving him with no sweat glands, hair, fingernails or teeth

Different issue.  I've heard of people allergic to their own hair losing all of it. 

[2:21 PM] Mr. Blue:

It gives you fangs for teeth.

[2:22 PM] Mr. McGreen:

So what if he gets overheated?

[2:22 PM] Mr. Brown:

Pant like dog

[2:23 PM] Mr. McGreen:

Strong like bull!

[2:24 PM] Mr. Blue:

He probably has to make sure he doesn't get too hot.

[2:29 PM]

Heat sinks and fans under his clothes?

[9:27 AM] Mr. Blue:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/malta/gozo/articles/one-star-negative-reviews-for-azure-window-collapse/

[9:29 AM]

"has long been lost to the sea"

It's been a couple months, guys.

"The young sailors still tell of the glory that was the Azure Window and its loss to the sea in days of yore, back in - like - February or something."

[9:33 AM] Mr. Blue:

One of the worst tourist traps ever was Blowing Rock. I think in North Carolina.

I remember going there as a kid and being severely disappointed.

It became a sort of meme between my mom and me.

[9:40 AM]

So Blowing Rock blew.

[9:40 AM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

[9:40 AM]

"Well that's how it got the name, son..."

[9:42 AM] Mr. Blue:

It was supposedly because if you threw something off the edge it would blow back to you... A vortex or something.

But you weren't allowed on it to try, despite pictures showing people on it.

[9:46 AM]

"And over here is Leap-N-Fly Rock.  You'll just have to believe us, but if you leap off of it, you'll fly."

"And, of course, Rocks Turn To Diamonds Point..."

[9:53 AM] Mr. Blue:

WTF? Sounds like a train.

[10:06 AM]

?

[10:07 AM] Mr. Blue:

I heard a train horn/whistle

Musta been a ringtone or something.

[10:20 AM] Mr. Brown:

Probably a phone or tablet.

[10:20 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Now lets not just rule out ghost trains right away.

[10:21 AM]

Ghost train?  Ok, it was that.

[10:21 AM] Mr. Brown:

Well, there is a leprechaun brownie mix that runs around Katzenjammer in buckled shoes.

I'm sure he is not happy about the bathroom he lives in being remodeled.

[10:25 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Is one of your medical issues schizophrenia, Mr. Brown?

[10:28 AM]

A “leprechaun brownie” sounds like a hallucinogenic recipe.

Also a thing to say out loud if you want your luck totally hexed by the good folk

(Leprechaun) "What did himself call me!?"

(Brownie) "What di' 'e name us!?"

(fight each other a while)

(Leprechaun) "'Course t'was him that said it."

(Brownie) "Aye. I ken it's even so."

(Lep) "Say we put his arse in Blazes?"

(Brow) "And that we should, cousin.  That we should."

(shake hands and start plotting disasters against Mr. Brown)

Anyway...

Mr. Brown should probably tell the tale of his encounter to you at some point...

While he still can...