369 - "Because YOU Need It We'll Just Flip The 'Broken' Switch Off", and "Pee Wee's Big Psychic Fair", and "Pee Wee's Big Psychic Fair", and "Pee Wee's Big Psychic Fair"

[1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:

Thought of something yesterday regarding people complaining about server outages and "I need this now" attitudes.

"You know how when you catch a cold and how there's nothing you can do about it except try to get a bit of relief until your body takes care of it?  That whole process is both extremely simple looking on the outside but staggeringly complex on the inside, involving trillions of reactions and cellular structure interactions per HOUR, let alone per day.  You do your best, spending money on medicines and such that really do little to nothing but provide some relief but in the end you just have to wait it out a week or two.  The entirety of the Internet since it was built, as complex as it is, is less complex and far less sophisticated and has done less than your body did just waking up this morning.  Yet you'll wait out a cold.  This is just a server problem. Give us some time please.  Do some of your bookkeeping or something." 

[2:07 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[2:11 PM] Ms. Rose:

:-)

[2:13 PM] Mr. Brown:

I like that analogy

[2:18 PM] Mr. Blue:

I think a lot of people have this weird impression that we aren't actively working to fix things and are just sitting on our hands or something.

Perhaps because they've worked for companies that did that?

[2:20 PM] Mr. Brown:

Nobody has patience anymore; that is the issue. They are taught this day and age things can always be fixed faster and easier than reality

[2:21 PM] Mr. Blue:

Nobody sees the conveniences around them either. They just expect things to work.

Entitlement, I guess

Technology can't be enjoyed if you feel like you are entitled to it

It no longer is a convenience, it's a necessity

[2:21 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah, I keep teaching my son patience.

[2:23 PM] Ms. Rose:

Like the people who want "confirmation" of service interruptions, so they can keep some pointless proof of it if their supe (also interrupted) asks for it...like they can't just look it up in the log. I email those all the time.

[2:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

Who was the comedian "If you are standing around bitching about the delay of your flight...FU."

[2:23 PM] Mr. Blue:

Louis C.K.

*nasally voice* "Our plane sat on the runway for over an hour!"

"Oh yeah? What happened next? Did you fly through the air, incredibly, unbelievably?  Did you experience the miracle of human flight and aviation?"

[2:24 PM] Ms. Rose:

LOL

Love Louis C.K.

[2:24 PM] Mr. Blue:

“You know what you had to go through to go from NY to LA 100 years ago?

You had to round up a party, and most of you died along the way. By the time you got there, you were a completely different generation of people.”

Another one was about how he was on a plane and the flight attendants were like

"This is brand new - we're now offering wifi on the flight. Just connect to it and you're on the internet."

Halfway through the flight the wifi went down, they were like

"Sorry, it's not working now." and the guy next to Louis was like "PSSH! this is bullshit!"

So this amazing thing that this person didn't even know existed 2 hours ago suddenly becomes something he feels like he is entitled to.

I guess it's maybe human nature to never feel satisfied or content about things

I guess that's how you keep pushing through and discovering new things, but mostly it's just annoying if you're not also one of those people contributing to new discoveries and technology.

Not that I am...I am not contributing to anything.

[11:44 AM] Mr. Blue:

So when you pick a movie, Mrs Silver won't watch it, and when she picks you have to?

[11:45 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah, that's marriage

[11:45 AM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[11:45 AM] Mr. Brown:

Happens to me too.

Or she sits down like she is going to watch it and falls asleep.

I have my sons to watch stuff with

It'll be even better when they are old enough to watch the really good stuff

Like showing them Rambo and such

[11:46 AM] Mr. Blue:

That'd be awesome!

[11:46 AM] Mr. Brown:

Rambo is stupid to Mrs. Brown

[11:47 AM] Mr. Blue:

I’d be afraid they'd be too desensitized with CGI to enjoy something like Rambo or Predator

Then I’d have to kill my own sons

"So, what'd you think?"

*playing with iphone 17* "Ehh, it was alright."

"I have no son."

[11:51 AM] Mr. Silver:

She'll watch some of mine.

She was so vocally anti- Pee Wee Herman yesterday that when I grabbed the 1st movie for Malcolm and me last night, she said...to the guy at the counter..."I hope there's a big crack in it!"

He opened it.

There was.

[11:52 AM] Mr. Blue:

Jesus

[11:52 AM] Mr. Silver:

Of a type I've never seen on a CD/DVD

He was totally spooked.

Her and her bloody subconscious witchcraft...

[11:52 AM] Mr. Brown:

lol

[11:52 AM] Mr. Silver:

He let me have it on a freebie "Might work".  

It shouldn't have.

It did.

During the fight over Pee Wee, she "predicted" (will cause) early snow too...sorry...we're doomed.  Just never make her screaming mad and nothing bad will happen.

(We had a freak October ('15) snowstorm within a couple weeks of this chat.  She did the same thing in May this year ('16) after insisting for years -- against ample evidence -- that it snows "all the time" in May around here and that she didn't destroy her sister's party in high school because she wasn't invited.  When it went from playful teasing to a fight, I knew she'd have to "prove" snowstorms happen in May. – Mr. Silver)

[11:53 AM] Mr. Blue:

But she picks straight-to-DVD Stephen Baldwin flicks with impunity?

[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:

Likes the descriptions

[11:54 AM] Mr. Brown:

I predict stuff all the time

I freaked my in-laws out once

[11:56 AM] Mr. Silver:

Mr. Brown... The woman has voiced strange out-of-place thoughts I and other people – including total strangers – have had, quoting them word-for-word, right after they thought them.

[12:00 PM] Mr. Brown:

OK, I have not been that pin point.

[12:00 PM] Mr. Silver:

This past Tuesday:

"Ever been to Eastern State Penitentiary?"

"(pop eyed) I was there 2 days ago."

"Oh!  Cool place, huh?"

Unfortunately this talent has neither the consistency or applicability to be very useful.

(me) "Can't you do that with a lottery number one of these days?"

(her) "That would be nice."

[12:03 PM] Mr. Brown:

I actually see multiple outcomes of things

The way I freaked my in laws out was we were getting about 50 scratch off lottery tickets out a machine.

I said as she sat the pile down

“Top is a 1 dollar winner.”

Rips it - its a winner.

Then I said “5th one down is a winner”

Counts down - 5th is a winner

I got it right one more time then it stopped

LOL

[12:09 PM] Mr. Blue:

I think I'm getting, like, double deja vu.

Like the other day, I was taking clothes out of the dryer and it felt like I had had deja vu about it before, while doing it previously

If that makes sense...

Like this was the third time I had done it...not just twice.

[12:11 PM] Mr. Silver:

You remembered doing the same load two times before doing it?

Heh. Freaky.

[12:12 PM] Mr. Blue:

It wasn't just doing laundry. It was holding a specific shirt at a specific time of day and thinking about the same thing when I saw that shirt because it's a shirt I hadn't seen in a while

It felt like double deja vu

I think deja vu is just a getting old thing

[12:13 PM] Mr. Brown:

Eh

[12:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

It feels familiar because it is familiar... you have done it before

[12:13 PM] Mr. Brown:

But it depends on the deja vu event, though.

I’ve gotten that at places I know I have never been before

[12:14 PM] Mr. Silver:

Argument against – I had a lot more of that when I was young.

It rarely happens now.

[12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:

Same. Deja vu all the time when I was younger. I didn't know what it was and it freaked me out. Then mom explained a little. Haven't had it in a long while. I'm too old and my brain is too full of other crap. :(

[12:16 PM] Mr. Brown:

The “not here” thing gets freaky

[12:17 PM] Mr. Silver:

Disassociation? I separate and drift a bit under the right conditions, yes

[12:17 PM] Mr. Brown:

Basically

I have to try to break myself out of it

[12:17 PM] Mr. Silver:

Break the wrong way and you'll be gone

;)

[12:17 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yep!

LOL

Its weird because I’m aware that I’m here and always have been, yet I'm feeling that I am not here, and have not always been.

LOL

Then its a battle to come back to the now

Almost like I could go anywhere when in that state

I've never been able to induce that state

[12:19 PM] Mr. Silver:

Astral travel, sure, as a common trick...your Player takes off to look at other stuff.

But you could physically relocate too, if you knew how.  I believe that and have for a long time. You know me...I have grave doubts any of this is even real.

But...

The security is strong in here.

[12:20 PM] Mr. Blue:

I had that thing again the other night where I’m halfway in between asleep and awake and I’m like all different sizes.

[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:

Ugh. I've had that wide awake walking the aisles here.

It's this: https://txfx.net/2010/01/08/alice-in-wonderland-syndrome/

368 - "Oh Lord Grant My Petty Juvenile Prayer!", "The Stars N Stripes Whatever", "It's The End Of The World As We Know It - Oh! We're All Fine", One Bread To Rule Them All, and A Jackpot You Don't Want To Win

[11:26 AM] Mr. Blue:

Someone on FB put a status of a prayer request because they were going to the dentist

[11:27 AM] Mr. Brown:

You can die going to the dentist

[11:27 AM] Mr. Blue:

You can die sitting on the couch

[11:28 AM] Mr. Silver:

I can die talking to this half-wit...and I'm putting up a status Prayer Request for that...

[11:28 AM] Mr. Blue:

“Calling all my prayer warriors. 7am appointment for Katzenjammer Dental in the morning.  Scared beyond words can [sic] do it justice.  I'm also getting really lightheaded almost to the point of scariness so not sure what all to expect. Incredibly scared. Have had horrible experiences with dentists PLEASE PRAY”

That's the status... what a maroon

[11:33 AM] Ms. Rose:

I'm going to ask for Personal Time so I can go pray for that person.

Pray that she gets hit by a bus...

[11:34 AM] Mr. Blue:

I don't even know him: just a friend's friend. They commented and it showed up on my feed

My friend put "What funeral home do I send the flowers to?"

I was just like: "Holy shit! This guy must have been diagnosed with cancer or something!" *reading* "Nope... just afraid of cavities and gingivitis?"

[11:35 AM] Ms. Rose:

Wow, it was a dude?!

[11:36 AM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

[11:37 AM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

“Gaylord Ponce...Action Hero!”

"Unbeknownst to the men in his ultra-fashionable social circle, Gaylord Ponce is secretly the dashing Pink Pansy, defender of the defenseless.”

“His one secret fear is dentists.”

[11:43 AM] Mr. Brown:

I only fear choking on something when I’m there

[11:43 AM] Mr. Blue:

I hate the dentist too

Even during teeth cleanings, I’m so tense that I get sore by the end.

[11:43 AM] Ms. Rose:

Should we pray for you, Mr. Blue?

[11:43 AM] Mr. Brown:

Sacrifice a goat before you go

[11:43 AM] Mr. Blue:

That doesn't help any.

[11:44 AM] Mr. Brown:

One time a dentist gave me the max amount of shots and I could still feel the drilling

He said “well, I'll fill in what I did then, and you will have to come back.”

So now I just ignore the pain and let them continue.

Get that shit done the first time!

[11:45 AM] Mr. Blue:

Even if you believe in praying for this stuff, it seems like a waste of God's time

"Dear God, please don't put me in any awkward situations today where someone holds a door for me but I’m far away from the door and have to briskly walk to it and then make small talk."

[11:45 AM] Ms. Rose:

HAHAHAHA

[11:46 AM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

[11:46 AM] Mr. Brown:

“Dear God, let me win this video game so I can tell all my friends how amazing I am.”

"Please God, don't let me get swamp ass today"

Now if a little kid was praying these things, I’m sure God would be like: “Ok, sure. You're excused, you're a kid.”

But an adult?

LOL

[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:

(Adult finishes crappy prayer...sheet of paper falls down with flaming letters)  "Poorly worded, derivative, dubious arguments.  D-.")

[9:42 AM] Mr. Blue:

To me, its weird that when you have to hang the American flag so it's vertical, you have to keep the stars in the upper left.

It looks backwards

Just rotate the flag 90* to the right.

https://groovychristian.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/us_flags.png

[9:45 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Keeps the stars in the upper left, man...like them Hollywood liberal commies."

[9:47 AM] Ms. Rose:

I got in trouble in high school for wearing a Ministry (the band) t-shirt that had a backwards American flag on it. Oh, and also a picture of guy with a bloody piece of a...body part? on his head.

This one! https://images.backstreetmerch.com/images/products/bands/clothing/mntry/bsi_mntry45.GIF

[9:49 AM] Mr. Blue:

I wore this to school and nobody cared

http://tshirtslayer.com/files-tshirt/styles/shirtview/public/user-2948/3b0fafd4fef9057894aec96845cc0c68.jpg?itok=mWsXER4F

[9:49 AM] Ms. Rose:

I remember that shirt!

[9:50 AM] Mr. Blue:

I still have it and it still fits.

What is that on his head?

[9:52 AM] Ms. Rose:

My fellow deviants at the time thought it was a liver. Probably from an animal or something.

[9:52 AM] Mr. Silver:

That flag is fine...it's on a pole and oriented correctly.  The only time anyone should care is if it's upside down since that's a distress code.

[9:53 AM] Ms. Rose:

I also had a very controversial Marilyn Manson T-shirt. But Katzenjammer is blocking all the pics for it. LOL

That's what I thought, Mr. Silver! But no... hauled into the principal's office by some smelly, fat ass math teacher.

[9:56 AM] Mr. Blue:

I’d be more upset with the back, because the flags look to be in some sort of weird pagan symmetry, almost a swastika.

Not that I care, but I guess if I were a principal I might.

[9:58 AM] Ms. Rose:

T-shirts were the only reason I was ever in trouble at school. I was a goody-two-shoes who just dressed like a total potential school shooter.

[9:59 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Blocked by corporate firewall for content violation. Category: Too cool for high school so too controversial for Katzenjammer"

[2:36 PM] Mr. Blue:

What time does the world end?

Or wasn't the Talmud specific?

Mr. Silver... didn't we (or you) decide that any day any human being predicts the world will end, it will 100% not, since God stated basically that 'no man can know'?

So that even if someone guesses, it would be knowing, and thus he couldn't be correct?

So the end of the world will have to be a specific time that is not predicted by anyone?

[2:39 PM] Mr. Brown:

It would be a paradox if anyone knew.

[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

You can't even think about it.

Even thinking "the world might end today" means it will not.

So these doomsdayers are basically helping us.

Every time someone predicts the world will end, they ensure it won't.

[2:44 PM] Mr. Silver:

@Mr. Blue - Yes, that is the logically absolute conclusion.

The day and time no one thinks about it or predicts it...we're fucked.

[2:45 PM] Mr. Brown:

Maybe that’s the code to keep the system running.

[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:

We need better prophesies for that, Mr. Brown

There are already enough loonies trying to get the End Times going.

Where are the prophesies for free loot and good eats?

[2:46 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

 [3:26 PM] Mr. Silver:

"And The Lord has decreed that in the wane of the year that the loud man with haystack hair seeks the throne, all men and women will receive a free medicine that will make them physically fit and attractive."

[3:32 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

You were workin' on that one for a bit, huh?

(Hi there. I find it interesting that by the day I ran across this archive and was finally getting around to posting this “prophesy” from October 7 2015...Donald Trump is the Republican candidate for President of the United States of America. Today is 8/20/2016. Keep an eye out for this wonder drug, folks. - Mr. Silver)

[9:38 AM] Ms. Rose:

Also, did you ever realize there are LOTS of Indian (the country) breads? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Indian_breads

I'm doing a crossword. Can you tell?

[9:39 AM] Mr. Blue:

I read that as "breeds" at first

I’ve only had naan bread, but it's delicious

[9:40 AM] Ms. Rose:

I've only ever had naan bread, too! I thought that was THE Indian bread.

[9:40 AM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

Seems like they are mostly similar to that... flat and stuff

[9:41 AM] Ms. Rose:

Leave it to them Injuns to classify flat bread in 3 dozen ways. LOL

[9:48 AM] Mr. Silver:

Stepping back, I'm suppressing the inner loony who wants to laugh out loud at the thought of a set of cultures as ancient - and population as huge - as India sporting a single bread.

(“Injun” is an epithet for Native Americans, BTW, Ms. Rose. You were looking for “dot head” if you felt like insulting a billion people)

(5000 years ago)

(Baker 1) "We could try adding a bit of salt?"

(Baker 2) "Eh...its good enough.."

(B1) "Yeah..."

[9:50 AM] Ms. Rose:

I'm suppressing the inner loony who wants to laugh out loud at the guy in PA who finds multiple Indian breads funny. :P

[9:50 AM] Mr. Blue:

I don't know how prevalent wheat is in Indian farming so I wasn't real sure if they had a lot of breads or a little

[1:08 PM] Mr. Yellow:

OK, I may finally be done with my kidney stones.

I just passed another big chunk.

So with that and all the small ones I hope I am done

2 good sized chunks and 4 small ones.

Something help me if there are more, because I am so worn out from this I need a break.

[1:23 PM] Mr. Green:

No doubt

[1:44 PM] Mr. Yellow:

Funny to hear the *klink* sound in the urinal

[1:45 PM] Mr. Silver:

As long as it doesn't sound like a jackpot of coins...

[1:45 PM] Mr. Yellow:

Haha

367 - Doomsday Cultist Is Not A Good Interest On A Resume, If You Have A Lien On What You Give You Go To Hell - Like My Accountant, and Zoomers & Cans

[3:09 PM] Mr. Silver:

Good news!  World is ending this month!

The idiot husband of a friend of Mrs Silver and I has finally revealed that the reason he's spent no time looking for a job for the past year is because he and "10,000" other members are just waiting for the end.

[3:12 PM] Mr. Blue:

I’m convinced

Can I have all his stuff?

[3:13 PM] Mr. Silver:

Wife's a hoarder...beware...

[3:14 PM] Mr. Blue:

Maybe just all his money

[3:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

Year...no job...

[3:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

Bah

[3:18 PM] Mr. Silver:

Anyway, he's revealed he'll look again if the world doesn't end. 

[3:18 PM] Mr. Blue:

What's the cause?

Religious, extra-terrestrial, natural

[3:19 PM] Mr. Silver:

"So, Jack...we seem to have a good match in skill set, our offer is good for you.  So what's the story behind your break in the work record for so long?"

(HR stamping Jack's form, post interview) “[Rejected - Do Not Retain Application]”

I'm not sure what The End will be.

Lot of JAY-susss! in his life, though.  Been poisoning his kid, projecting someone's made up values of said messiah...

I'm assuming it's some sort of Rapture.

[3:22 PM] Mr. Blue:

Ahh

Does he know how crazy he sounds?

[3:22 PM] Ms. Rose:

Screw his belongings and his money (or lack thereof). Can I have his followers? They are clearly dumb enough to follow him, so... They'd be perfect for my minions!

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

The unknown pastor?

Oh, I'd be all over that except apparently some of them don't have any money left to give to God.

Wonder what his excuse will be November 1st

[3:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

Those people tend to have short memories and no shame or remorse

(Next day – Mr. Silver)

[12:08 PM] Mr. Silver:

Oh, update

Apparently if you owe money to anyone when the world ends this month, you go directly to Hell.

So apparently the cult leader our friend's husband is following does want to make sure everyone's assets are in order for whatever this scam is.

[12:11 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[12:12 PM] Mr. Silver:

If he really has 10000 and enough of them put him in their will...and enough of them off themselves on Halloween...

[12:12 PM] Ms. Rose:

Oh my...

[12:12 PM] Mr. Blue:

“The Apocalypse Cult sponsored by Capital One - What's in your faith?”

[12:12 PM] Mr. Silver:

I suppose he wouldn't want to inherit anything with a lien on it.

Hmmm...It's to be 10/7, looks like, according to this article.

[12:14 PM] Mr. Blue:

Boy, that's soon.

I think I’m all squared away, debt-wise

[12:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

Oh...NASA chimed in saying it's not going to happen. 

Meh...they're underfunded...what do they know?

[12:15 PM] Mr. Blue:

I’m glad they responded

[12:16 PM] Ms. Rose:

I'm sure I can take care of $60k debt before Wednesday. Really, I've just been sitting on piles of cash. But writing checks with all those zeroes...exhausting!

[12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:

"NASA IN DEBT.  GOING TO HELL 10/7/2015."

[12:17 PM] Ms. Rose:

"No, guys...space dudes...I told YOU! We were supposed to aim for OUTER-planetary orbit. Not INSIDE the planet in the fiery hell magma! GOSH!"

[12:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

We need to give crackpots their proper pedestals and courtesies

[12:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone."

And yet...they try to figure it out.

Under the argument "It doesn't mean you can't try to figure it out."

[12:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

It's passed

Jesus said it'd be "within this generation"

[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:

Yup.  The world ended sometime around 50 AD and this is Heaven.  

What a slum.

(preacher) "I calculated it based on a secret Torah Code a guy told me."

"A guy?"

"Mis-spoke...the Holy Spirit."

"OH!"

[12:28 PM] Ms. Rose:

Jesus and Pals.

[12:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Jim Henson's "Apostle Babies"

[12:28 PM] Ms. Rose:

ROFL

"I saw the date in 'The Fast and the Faithfullest, 7'. Duh."

[12:34 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Jesus returns to Heaven)  "Hey Dad, I'm back again!  I told them just what You said about the earth being cleansed and stuff within a generation."

"Huh?  I never said that.  I said within this genesis.  Son, you never pay attention."

"Genesis?  Like...this whole creation?  So when does that end?"

"Heck, I dunno.  It's sure isn't 20 years or whatever you told them.  Heck, they haven't even invented movies yet and I'm looking forward to Star Wars coming out."

[11:52 AM] Mr. Brown:

Don't understand the hostility towards breast feeding.

[11:54 AM] Mr. Silver:

It's simple, Mr. Brown...Americans are babies

[11:54 AM] Mr. Blue:

I think the breast feeding thing seems mostly fabricated. Like some prude in some restaurant in this vast country asks a breastfeeding lady to leave or cover up, and then the entire country thinks it's an epidemic

[11:55 AM] Mr. Silver:

Hell...even during the Victorian Age the Brit Victorians made fun of American prudes.

[11:56 AM] Mr. Blue:

If I were a woman breastfeeding, I would do it in private. But that's for my own reasons and not because of anybody else. If you wanna hang those chimichangas out in public for every perve and deviant to see, that's up to you.

[11:59 AM] Mr. Silver:

"She's feeding her kid... You're a grownup who chews with his mouth open and smacks his lips like a pig... YOU get out of the restaurant."

[12:01 PM] Ms. Rose:

Never heard them called chimichangas before. Will have to start using that...

[12:02 PM] Mr. Blue:

I did once and now I try to use it a lot

[12:02 PM] Mr. Silver:

Confession...my favorite breast slang term is "zoomers" since I saw it on a list.  I don't know where it came from but to this day I think I'm the only person I've heard say the word.

It makes no sense at all unless its a multi-phase bastardization of “bosom”.

(still giggling over here)

[12:04 PM] Ms. Rose:

Zoomers is hilarious. My old boss, who was quite well-endowed, used to call them "bazoomas." Like, phonetically saying bosoms.

[12:04 PM] Mr. Brown:

Cans

[12:04 PM] Mr. Blue:

Sometimes I hear cans referring to breasts and yet sometimes it's the butt?

[12:04 PM] Mr. Silver:

Right.  There's a good one for a weird reason.

[12:05 PM] Mr. Brown:

She has some wonderful tommyknockers

[12:05 PM] Ms. Rose:

I thought it was always the butt. Didn't know they were called cans, too!

[12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:

A man and a woman can have a can. 

Women get a can...and cans...

[12:06 PM] Ms. Rose:

Can a woman get canned on her can over exposing her cans at work?

I think I just blew my own mind.

[12:06 PM] Mr. Brown:

Look at those gourds!

IF she is dancing the can can with her cans a blazing

[12:07 PM] Mr. Silver:

Ablazing?  Also it's Cancan....

[12:08 PM] Mr. Brown:

That lady has two hams and a pair of melons

[12:08 PM] Mr. Silver:

Total change but I've been assuming for some years now that the origin of Americans saying "Whee!!!" came from WWI soldiers hitting the Moulin Rouge and watching the Cancan girls shouting "OUI!"

[12:08 PM] Mr. Blue:

"Can" referring to butt dates to at least 1931 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_Willie_McTell#Singles

[12:08 PM] Ms. Rose:

Headline: “Cancan Cans Canned. Woman sues dance company over breast discrimination.”

[12:09 PM] Mr. Brown:

Ta Ta's

Headlights was always a good one too

'cause you can have low beams and high beams

[12:10 PM] Mr. Blue:

Now look here momma let me tell ya this
If ya wanna get crooked I'll even give ya my fist
Ya might read from revelation back to genesis
Ya keep crooked your southern can belongs to me
So there ain't no use in bringin no jive to me
Your southern can is mine in the mornin
Your southern can belongs to me

A catchy, laid-back tune about domestic violence

[12:11 PM] Mr. Brown:

Skeeter Bites. I hear people use that one, normally in an insulting manner.

[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver: 

None of the other ones were insulting? 

And ex-college roomie from Virginia would say "Fried eggs"