[1:53
PM] Mr. Brown.:
So
I learned Mr. Blue doesn't like sandals
lol
[1:54
PM]
Ballet
wrecked his feet
[1:54
PM] Mr. Brown.:
lolol
[1:54
PM] Mr. Blue:
I
don't like sandals on men.
There's
something weird about it
[1:54
PM]
Too
ancient world?
[1:55
PM] Mr. Blue:
I
dunno
First
of all, men's feet are gross and most women's feet are gross too.
You
see some of these reps that have heels that are so callused they look
like elephant feet?
Cover
that up
Cute
girls with not-gross feet can do what they want
[1:56
PM]
The
world over, yes
[1:57
PM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[1:57
PM] Mr. Brown.:
Just
take a cheese grater to that foot
[1:57
PM] Mr. Blue:
I
don't even have a foot fetish but I find myself checking out a cute
girl's feet pretty quickly just to make sure nothin weird's going on
there
A
hammer toe could be a deal breaker.
Maybe
I do have a foot fetish?
[1:57
PM]
Nope,
that's just mating instincts
One
of the hottest girls I EVER met and spent some time screwing up
getting with had a full head of hair on her legs
Deadhead
Unfortunately
I guessed Wiccan for too long and it didn't translate well
Got
close... fail...
We
were passing code but in the wrong languages
[2:01
PM] Mr. Blue:
Leg
hair isn't even a deal breaker for me
Nor
armpit hair
Armpit
hair is fine.. shaving your armpits is weird and leads to rashes
which are gross
Women
look better with shaved legs but if they skip it.. no biggie. I
wouldn't expect a woman to groom areas i don't groom
My
legs are like velcro
[2:02
PM]
Me
not figuring out which "Jerry" she was going to go see was
when we figured out we weren't as compatible as it felt.
Took
like a week and a half too...it was weird.
[2:03
PM] Mr. Blue:
"Lewis?"
"Garcia." "Ahh... We should see other
people."
[2:05
PM]
LOL
[9:09
AM] Mr. Blue:
One
of those commercials had an obvious audio glitch that made him call
it "fle-shot" Which sounded like flesh hot.
Another
one is the Sun Setter commercial that sells retractable awnings.
It's
been around so long they dubbed over the price... twice
You
can tell the guy mouths "three hundred and ninety nine dollars".
A
few years ago it was changed to $499, now it's $599
And
their clothes are so dated... The commercial must be 25 years old
[9:11
AM]
Yup
Probably
is
Still
nice and clean though...gotta give them credit
You
watch a recording from even 10 years ago and they start looking a bit
off
[2030]
"For only twenty-three hundred dollars!"
[9:13
AM] Mr. Blue:
[2050]
"Now you can get your Sun Setter awning for as little as 30,000
Trump dollars!"
[commercial
ends] "Would you like to know more?"
[9:16
AM]
[2480]
"Human slaves such as us are damaged by solar radiation, but for
a commitment of 56 Blun x7 progressive duodeca, you can protect us
pets."
"And
we use our patio now!"
[9:16
AM] Mr. Blue:
lol
“Free
shipping to all 41 states and California. No shipping to The
Forbidden Zone.”
[9:17
AM] Mr. Brown.:
All
your base belong to us ?
[9:18
AM] Mr. Blue:
[2590]
"Now you can get your Sun Setter awning for as little as [50
rebel scalps]."
[9:20
AM]
[30012]
"And with a push of a button, the Sun Setter will cause the
local star to dim, making you and your family 20 degrees cooler.
And prices start as low as 7 quantum diamonds!"
[9:21
AM] Mr. Brown.:
Has
your porch been unusable since the Great Death? Well get a Sun
Setter for only 3 trillion credits!” “We use our porch again!”
[9:21
AM] Mr. Blue:
[40501]
"๒ɭєђ
๔คฬ
๒'ợยคς
Sun Setter awning รยภ
รєՇՇєг
คฬภเภﻮ
Ŧгггкк
คฬภคฬภ
คฬภ”
[9:21
AM]
"And,
if you act now, you get this decorative ancient male and female home
sapiens android set - free!"
I
can just see a space ship landing in DC and an alien coming out to
try to order one.
[10:12
AM] Mr. Blue:
[10:13
AM]
(looks)
[10:17
AM] Mr. Blue:
$234
for some plastic tubes with ben wah balls inside 'em and a DVD
[10:17
AM] Mr. Brown.:
Somebody
believes that shit?
[10:18
AM] Mr. Blue:
Another Smovey customer born every minute
The
"Smovey Effects" section runs the gambit from ludicrous to
dangerous
[10:19
AM]
“Due
to the construction of the Smovey rings, they produce a frequency of
60 Hz. This is the same frequency that occurs naturally in humans and
is the refresh rate on a lot of monitors.”
[10:20
AM] Mr. Blue:
heh
I'm
not on the computer all day because I'm a loser, it's because I'm
naturally harmonizing my body's Qi
[10:23
AM] Mr. Brown.:
Pressure
points i understand
that
is, for sure, nothing
lol
[10:25
AM]
“* Burns
Fat. Smovey activates 97% of the body’s muscles”
So
does being awake
[10:25
AM] Mr. Blue:
lol
What's
the other 3% doing
[10:26
AM]
That
3% are the evil "fat muscles"
“Who
can use Smovey? Everyone!*”
(*with
functional arms)
[10:27
AM] Mr. Blue:
Ahh.
It was invented by Germans
Who
better to harness the power of ancient eastern philosophy and
medicine?
[10:56
AM]
So
if we took Smovey...and attached a generator... would it run a USB
charger, or would all the energy go into your Chi?
[10:57
AM] Mr. Brown.:
lol
[10:59
AM]
"Hello
Smovey support? Do you have plug-in or chargeable models?
I'm kinda lazy and would prefer just to hold them."
"Do
you have a secondary product to activate the remaining 3% of my
muscles? Like Evenmorevy?"
[11:01
AM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[11:02
AM]
"One
of the balls fell out and now it doesn't work."
[11:02
AM] Mr. Brown.:
Shake
Weight
How
was that not fixing peoples chi?
“Hello
support? I was sitting in my chair using my smovey and suddenly the
end opened up and all the balls crashed into my balls.”
[12:45
PM] Mr. Blue:
[12:46
PM]
Heh
[12:47
PM] Mr. Blue:
I
used the Farmcore guy again. lol
[1:33
PM]
I
miss Farmcore...
I
bet if I ever find it it'll turn out to be 10 lines long and stupid
But
in my memory it was big and brilliant
[1:35
PM] Mr. Brown.:
Just
lift these 200 bails of hay
Now
over here in the grip strength area you have to pull these udders for
15 min at a time
[1:43
PM]
I
kept the picture for posterity
All
about getting that healthy career-farmer shape
[2:23
PM] Mr. Brown.:
Did
that start with me saying I have farm strength?
Look
lanky but can lift a tractor or something
[2:25
PM]
The
power of those guys that can lift a heifer
Yet
with big butter builds or scrawny old bundles of wires you'd
never think could do it
Endurance
to go from 4:30am to past dark
Poster
boy -
https://gdb.voanews.com/23F23B5C-F8E4-4B3E-839E-56294D12C65A_cx0_cy3_cw0_w1023_r1_s.jpg
[2:29
PM] Mr. Blue:
Milo
of Croton pioneered Farmcore
[2:29
PM]
:)
(big
sweaty red man with clipboard and a lot of trainees)
"Harrison. Your nutrition profile is done, and your pork
sausage gravy levels are way too low."
[2:31
PM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[2:32
PM] Mr. Brown.:
“I
need you to get up tomorrow and take one plate of bacon and eggs, and
some steak.”
[2:42
PM]
"Now
hold on. Before you tell me 'yes', I want to talk about healthy
portions. When I say 'plate' I mean one of these... (holds up
10' dinner plate) ...heaping. Not a 'dish' (6" dish).
You people want results you have to put in a serious effort. Dishes
are for your daily butter."
[2:44
PM] Mr. Brown.:
Your
first exercise will be milking Bessy and the rest of the girls
Then
I want you to take four full glasses of that milk straight from the
bucket
