432 - A Good Stiff Car Starter In The Morning, Plastic Piece Of Poo-Shi, "Days Of Our Work Lives", and Edgy Postcards From The Burgh

[2:16 PM] Ms. Rose:

Do we think this would work?

http://mentalfloss.com/article/90411/simple-trick-defrosting-your-windshield-less-60-seconds

I'm asking more for like snow and hard ice, rather than a thin layer of frost. Does it screw up anything about your car/paint?

[2:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

I guess if it's the very specific kind of ice shown in the video... thin

[2:17 PM] Ms. Rose:

Ah. Figured.

[2:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

Alcohol wouldn't screw up anything, I just think you'd need more than a spray bottle if there's a lot of ice or snow build up

[2:17 PM] Ms. Rose:

Fire hose! LOL

As I am the first one up and downstairs, I am the one who has to start the car every morning.

[2:18 PM] Mr. Blue:

There's nothing more satisfying than scraping ice after the vents have been blasting on it for a little bit

Its like a creme brulee

[2:19 PM] Ms. Rose:

That is oddly satisfying. Also, when the sun hits and it starts to slide down in stripey chunks on the back window.

[2:18 PM] Mr. Silver:

Enough alcohol to do thick ice would make a nice "stay in and relax" drink.

[2:19 PM] Ms. Rose:

Excellent point, Silver.

[2:20 PM] Mr. Silver:

"H-h'lo?  I've gone be late t'day.  I'm … … treatin' my, my icy w-windshield."

[2:20 PM] Ms. Rose:

I was going to get Mr. Oleo a remote starter installed for Christmas (gift for me, in disguise). But I read horror stories about his particular year/model and decided against it.

Like - "I went to start my car and accidentally pressed the 'explode and catch fire' button."

[2:21 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Consumer Reports Assessment) "Tendency to automatically start at around 3am and come into your house and move your things around, then over time start killing pets, and eventually will try to get in your bed with you."

[2:21 PM] Ms. Rose:

Hahahaha!

[12:59 PM] Mr. Silver:

Just learn to make the damned stuff...

http://mentalfloss.com/article/90711/sushi-bazooka-lets-you-shoot-out-sushi-rolls-record-time

“Woo!  Make it FAST!”

Except the bloody rice is the part that takes a long time.

Someone invent an automatic sushi rice cooker

[1:01 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah the rice is the pain

You should be able to just dump the raw ingredients in one end... and sushi spits out the other

[1:01 PM] Mr. Silver:

Love the instructions too. 

"Just line the tube with rice!”

(“FU”)

“And put the toppings in the middle!”

(“FU”)

“Push it out onto the nori!”

(FFFFF...UUUUUUU!!!!!!!)

[1:01 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah that's BS

Like a big Wonka contraption to do something simple

[1:02 PM] Mr. Silver:

The “Grand Waste of Time Sushi Machine”.

I could assemble 4-6 rolls before you could "line the tube", and I suck at it.

[1:03 PM] Mr. Blue:

Too bad Japan has a strong economy

If they were poor like Mexico we could have sushi trucks

[1:06 PM] Mr. Silver:

Now I want maki...

https://www.google.com/search?q=sushi+truck&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwihr7_FlbjRAhWIKcAKHVl8AkkQ_AUICCgB&biw=1162&bih=776

I am immediately drawn to trust the gourmet quality from a "Fishlips" truck.

[2:27 PM] Ms. Rose:

I seriously cannot handle being therapist for any more chicks in this place.

Subject 1 slept with the fiancé of Subject 2.

Both ask me, "What should I do to get over him?!"

Subject 3 is like, "I can't handle these two anymore. What should I do?"

Subject 4 hates 1, 2.

Subject 3 just wants to be recognized for being an individual and "What should I do?"

I am about to book a conference room and put some weapons in there and just let them figure it out.

I'm currently in negotiations with ABC to buy the rights.

[2:33 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Ladies?  Thunderdome."

[2:33 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

This is all my fault, for wanting social interaction.

[2:33 PM] Mr. Blue:

Someone from here slept with a coworker's fiancé?

[2:34 PM] Ms. Rose:

Welcome to Katzenjammer Lady Land.

[2:34 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Well girls, here is what I suggest... (hand copper scrubbers to each and a gallon of white vinegar) Where does he live?”

[2:35 PM] Mr. Blue:

Did it happen long ago or recently? Like while they were their fiancé?

[2:35 PM] Ms. Rose:

Less than 6 months ago.

It doesn't effing matter. I am not equipped for this crap. I'm not on Facebook, I don't text anymore. *builds very high brick wall around cube*

I would like to have a friend. Single. Friend. Other than Mr. Oleo. But if this is what it's like, then I'm fine with my cats.

[2:38 PM] Ms. Rose:

I have 4 more postcards to send today.

Are yinz ready to help me with a response to whichever international person I get?

[2:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Devil)

Always ready...

If they ask where you come from, please refer to Baby Annabel's description

(Here – Go down to the second set of quotes – Mr. Silver.)

[2:47 PM] Ms. Rose:

First batter. Voitulevich AnnBELARUS

What shall we say to Ann?

She says in her profile that she likes cats, so I'll give her a cat postcard instead of a Pittsburgh scene.

[2:48 PM] Mr. Silver:

"I love cats too! Here is my favorite recipe!"

[2:49 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Dear Anna. I am writing this at work, in my dead-end job, in the magical US of A. There is no hope. I like Harry Potter, too. ... P.S. Here is a picture of a cat."

[2:51 PM] Mr. Blue:

A young woman's strange erotic journey from McKeesport to Minsk

[2:52 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

[2:52 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Dear Anna, Your correspondence has been intercepted.  Do not leave your neighborhood until contacted and your case is reviewed. Enjoy this government cat picture."

[2:55 PM] Mr. Blue:

She's a cutie

[2:55 PM] Mr. Silver:

You looked her up, eh?

"My good friend Mr. Blue is now cyberstalking you, but he isn't planning to head to Belarus until after he follows around another girl the western USA"

[2:56 PM] Mr. Blue:

In Germany, Belorussians are called White Russians

Weissrussen

[3:00 PM] Mr. Silver:

"We're known as bela Russians...meaning we're the Russians who are pretty to look at."

They the Norse that took over when the Slavs asked them too?  Never really looked.

[3:01 PM] Mr. Blue:

Dunno

[3:05 PM] Ms. Rose:

Done with Ann. Next batter...

Katuscia De Min
GERMANY

(My last postcard to Germany took more than 2 months. Bleargh.)

“My name is Katuscia but my friends and you can call me Katu.”

She says she loves "only sport ICE HOCKEY!" 

So I said "Let's Go PENS." :P

[3:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

That's a neat first name

Tell her we love her pretzels

[3:20 PM] Ms. Rose:

Next batter...

Ohhh! Good one!
Sandra Manteca
SPAIN

Sandra says she loves "landscapes." So I'm torn between my very last postcard of the Duquesne Incline, or a very general sort-of ugly night-time pic of Pittsburgh.

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

They make an ugly night picture of Pittsburgh?  Where was it shot from?

[3:22 PM] Ms. Rose:

My cell phone.

(Kidding.)

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

I'd rather look at it in the dark. 

[3:22 PM] Ms. Rose:

It's the crappiest pic of Pittsburgh I've ever seen. Which explains why the postcards were on clearance.

[3:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

"You want our 'I hate the Burgh!” section, ma'am.  This way please."

https://www.google.com/search?q=ugliest+pictures+of+Pittsburgh&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiEwdjxtLjRAhXII8AKHVCWCrEQsAQIGw&biw=1162&bih=776#tbm=isch&q=ugliest+pictures+of+city+of+Pittsburgh

Love the dead sticks, muck and brown algae in row two.

(Next day... - Mr. Silver)

[12:01 PM] Ms. Rose:

I already have 3 new postcards to send today. (You remember Belarus, Germany, and Spain from yesterday.) Just now, my postcard to Hong Kong made it there. So now I have one more to send. May as well get this done before I go to the post office on lunch.

We got:
Sari Makinen
FINLAND

YAY!

[12:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

I wonder if she has "the Finnish look"

[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Hello Sari!  Enjoy this picture of our incline, and please take care not to damage the microdot with the requested information on the wheel next to the wildflowers."

[12:20 PM] Ms. Rose:

:O  (rofl)

[12:21 PM] Mr. Silver:

"All the needed materials for the device and instructions are included, plus a description of the embassy target and his last known residence."

"I love Pittsburgh!  Go Pens and the revolution!"

[12:27 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Greetings to you, future Pittsburgh colony, in whatever place you live..."

431 - The (Good) Morning From Hell, Pinguintruppen, Mason Pranks, Extreme Tea, and How To Properly Display Your Adult Toys

[9:12 AM] Mr. Brown:
God morgen

[9:13 AM] Mr. Silver:

All praise Morgen

Interesting depictions... 

https://www.google.com/search?q=goddess,+morgen&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiU16qe1qjRAhUQySYKHShnAtsQsAQIHQ&biw=1162&bih=776

And it's really Morgan

And you don't want to dis her, regardless.

[9:15 AM] Mr. Brown:

Don't want to scroll too much on that search.

[9:15 AM] Mr. Silver:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Morr%C3%ADgan

[9:18 AM] Mr. Brown:

I decided to look up good morning in multiple languages.

Tere hommikust

So German is guten morgen.

[9:20 AM] Mr. Silver:

Or just “morgen”

[9:21 AM] Mr. Brown:

It looks like a lot of places used this morgan.

[9:21 AM] Mr. Silver:

Tere hommikust... "The people of Earth are cursed"

"Good morning to you too!"

[9:22 AM] Mr. Brown:

Supposed to be Estonian.

[9:22 AM] Mr. Silver:

Well...it' IS Estonia

(Estonians passing on the street as the sun is rising. Feeble hand wave.)

"We're doomed..."

"All is lost..."

"If it were possible, have a nice day."

"You too."

[9:26 AM] Mr. Blue:

There are regional variations to even guten morgen in Germany. I assume other countries are similar

[9:27 AM] Mr. Silver:

Like the Nordrhein-Westfalen - "Yo, dude"?

I'm not sure where I picked up "Howdy", honestly

Something broke in my head when I realized it was a truncated vulgate "How do you do?"

[9:33 AM] Mr. Blue:

Grüß Gott

[10:06 AM] Mr. Blue:

A wtf headline

http://in.reuters.com/article/germany-weather-penguins-idINKBN14O1EK

[10:09 AM] Mr. Brown:

They should have just told them to grow the Hitler/Charile Chaplin mustache then walk like Charlie.

[10:09 AM] Ms. Rose:

This would not apply in our area, as Penguins tend to ice skate really fast and score goals and stuff. :P

[10:10 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Goosestepping in jack boots is right out this winter, say German docs"

"Radical new theory by cabal of German surgeons explaining the failure of WWII's Russian winter campaign" - https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0172/2992/products/jack-boots-marching-620x320_1024x1024.jpg?v=1420988225

"Lost Nazi 'Pinguinkrieg' battle plans found hidden in Berlin attic"

[3:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

https://apnews.com/4c8e937434c245149235fc2f6b58fa61/german-mans-front-door-walled-overnight

[3:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

That's an elaborate prank

Starts with a bricklaying apprenticeship

[3:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Heh

[3:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

Guy wasn't woken up by the mortar mixer?

Maybe he was drunk on amontillado

[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

I don't recall anymore if it is real or not, but I remember a tale of a school having all the windows and doors bricked up overnight.  England, I think.

[3:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

All the bricklaying how-to's on YT are brits from the west-midlands area

Everything is brick there too... very noticeable when we passed through

[3:31 PM] Mr. Brown:

Where the masons are

[3:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

The little known Connie Francis hit

[2:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

I put cream from the fridge in my tea and then thought... is that a thing? 

I guess so.  Chai tea is milky

[2:37 PM] Ms. Rose:

:|

[2:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

My question is.. milk in tea.. is that a thing or no?

Gross or good?

[2:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

It is absolutely a thing.

Also, I don't do it.

I've tried it. I tried it again after many years and it still wasn't good.

“Now my hot tea is funny tasting cold tea!”

[2:39 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

Back when I actually drank tea (like 20 years ago) I feel like there was research or something that said adding dairy to tea caused an increase of...riboflavins? robo-flavors? I dunno.

[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

Do I want more riboflavins?

[2:40 PM] Ms. Rose:

Sure!

[2:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hell yeah

Meh… Can’t even taste it

[2:41 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Earl Gray...NOW! With more robo-flavors!"

[2:41 PM] Mr. Blue:

Earl Gray Extreme

[2:41 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

"Monster Energy presents: Earl Gray XXL!"

[2:43 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

“Crack it, Squeeze it, Chug it, Old Bean!!!”

[2:44 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

"You're British, so you don't want to be a Bro. And you still enjoy tea time. Well, we've got a solution for YOU, bloke!"

[2:46 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Muscled rugby brute, pinky extended, chugging Earl Grey XXL)

[2:46 PM] Ms. Rose:

(y)

[2:58 PM] Mr. Blue:

This is actually kinda reasonable

I can just see a board meeting at Earl Gray HQ...

"We need to tap into the younger demographic.  These kids love their gangster rap, their hoverboards, their gender pronouns, and their energy drinks."

[3:01 PM] Ms. Rose:

"But, sir! It's Earl Gray! And it's...TEA!"
"That's a very old way of thinking, Johnson. You're FIRED!"

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

So does Earl Grey XXL come in a single serve tea cup that you peel the top off of, like those glasses of wine?

[3:23 PM] Ms. Rose:

No. Duh. Earl Gray XXL only comes in 24-oz. cans with a really strong pop-top.

[3:24 PM] Mr. Silver:

Little chemical heater in it?

"Just twist the saucer, count two-score seconds, and down the hatch, what?"

[3:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

Why would you want to drink Earl Gray warm, bro?

[3:25 PM] Mr. Silver:

(gags)

Because it's perfume if it's cold

Or steeped too long

Uh oh...that's a problem we didn't consider. Maybe the Extreme part better just be lots of caffeine.

[3:26 PM] Ms. Rose:

Yeah. *pumps another rep* That's what they all say.

Do you even lift cups of tea, bro?

[12:19 PM] Mr. Silver:

So when Mrs. Silver mentioned over lunch that the place is a bit of a mess, I mentioned to her that you, Ms. Rose, said that your place is pretty cluttered and can be embarrassing. 

"Why's that?"

"Well, she lives with Mr. Oleo and she kind of inherited all his stuff."

"Like what?"

"I dunno...but he's a gamer and a geek, so I imagine a lot of nerdy toys and stuff like that, laying around...like the kind of crap I own that you hide, but more."

"Tell her they just need a place.  Tell her to get some shelving or shadow boxes, and to put his grown up toys there where people can look at them if they want."

"Right.  I'm to say 'Mrs. Silver says that you should put all the adult toys in the house out on open shelves where everyone can see them'."

"DON'T SAY THAT!!!  ... Unless you think she'd think it was funny."

"OK."

[12:21 PM] Ms. Rose:

Hahahaha!

*goes to IKEA to look for 'adult toy shadow boxes'* Wait! Not THAT kind of adult toy! :S

It would be much more of an issue if we got visitors more than twice a year. But I'm fine with the $600 VR headset thingy sitting on top of the cat carrier, and our couch being more blankets than actual couch. So long as I don't have to be single. :P

[12:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Agent I'm talking to about her VOIP) "There's times I'm in a 3-way and I want to get off..."

("Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything...”)

[12:23 PM] Ms. Rose:

:O

That customer DEFINITELY needs an adult toy shadow box.

(And since you're almost done for the day, tell Mrs. Silver that my weekend mission is finding an adult toy shadow box. :P )

[3:30 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

430 - "Never Was So Little Owed By So Few To One Guy", In The Middle Ages They'd Kill For A Sandwich, The Internet Of Eggs, Wilderness That's Off The Chart, True Facts About Giraffes, and Succubi For Fun & Profit

[2:09 PM] Mr. Blue:

Some guy tried to single-handedly invade one of the channel islands https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sark#Invasion_attempt

[2:11 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

[2:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

The ol' "Hey that's a nice gun! Can I see it?" routine

[2:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Beautiful weapon, but that clip mechanism is too complicated for me.  Back in the Falklands I had an L1A1...now that was a smooth reload.  That thing looks like it'd take a minute to change a clip over."

"No, it's a cinch...you just push here and-” (SMACK!!!)

[2:23 PM] Mr. Blue:

Wonder what 3-4 guys could do.

[2:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

Well...they could rotate sleeping at least.

[2:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

3-4 guys plus 1 vehicle that's faster than a tractor or a horse

Game over, Sark

[2:30 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

"It's all over...they have mopeds!"

[2:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[3:21 PM] Mr. Silver:

Musta been one hell of a tasty sandwich - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustace_the_Monk#/media/File:Battle_off_Sandwich.jpg

[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

What's that thing that guy's swinging?  Looks like a bindle with perfume in it

[3:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Staff sling with a chemical missile

Medieval grenade launcher

[3:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

Cool

Even the arrow has chemicals on the tip

or the same thing

[3:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Yup

"We need rocks and arrows up here!  The water balloons aren't working!"

[9:32 AM] Mr. Blue:

The guy had a wireless furnace that needed the mac address hardcoded into his router

[9:32 AM] Ms. Rose:

I ran into one of those a looooong time ago. Idiots.

[9:32 AM] Mr. Blue:

So stupid

[9:34 AM] Ms. Rose:

And there is an egg counter in the fridge needing a static IP address. It's a plastic tray that sits in the fridge and wirelessly sends an email or text when you are running low on eggs. That's all it does. Costs like $40 and this guy just HAD to get it.

I wanted to say: "You know an easier way to find out how many eggs you have? OPEN THE FRIDGE DOOR AND COUNT!"

[9:39 AM] Mr. Silver:

NONSENSE!

Egg counters are the future

All that Star Trek replicator chaff is nothing!  Wifi eggs...that's REAL

Here's the thing...

So he gets his egg counter working, right?

Puts in the 4 he has left.  Inputs 4.  Later he goes out and gets a fresh dozen...

And dutifully puts in and updates for 8 eggs in...12!

And 4 left over in a carton...

[9:42 AM] Ms. Rose:

Are you saying there is a need for MULTIPLE wifi egg counters?!

[9:42 AM] Mr. Silver: 

Maybe... 

Well, then he eats 2 next morning...

And, he looks at the tray...

“Ok, I'll move 2 over and reset to 12...”

And then he uses 1 baking something... 

“Eh... can't be bothered.”

Eventually he moves the last eggs over from the carton to the tray when there's 2 left...

Buys another dozen.

...

...

And never ever bothers to use it again because it's a stupid waste of time.

$40

Wifi!

Static IP!

Internet of things!

[9:44 AM] Ms. Rose:

I'm just amazed anything can communicate wirelessly from inside a sealed cold metal box.

[9:44 AM] Mr. Silver: 

Perhaps you have to open the door and stand in front of it with your phone.

"For most relevant application, avoid looking at actual egg tray and counting." 

I have a plain plastic egg tray.

If it's empty I put the whole paper carton ON the plastic tray.

:P

[9:45 AM] Ms. Rose:

We go through about 1.5 dozen eggs per week. I hard boil the first dozen and mark the carton with a Sharpie.

“H.B.” for hard boiled.

Then I put the not cooked eggs below that and use them for baking or scramby eggs.

One time I forget to label the hard boiled one.

Mr. Oleo always takes one to work.

He was like, "Which one is the hard boiled carton?"

Me: "Well, pick one, and I guess you'll find out when you crack it open."

[9:50 AM] Mr. Silver:

Heh

Did he win the lottery on that one?

Also, hard boileds spin

[9:56 AM] Mr. Blue:

Egg counters and furnaces are the reason Level 3 keeps getting DOS'd

[9:57 AM] Mr. Silver:

Yes

Internet of Stupid Things

[10:00 AM] Ms. Rose:

I can't wait until these Alexa and talking devices get hacked.

"Alexa, stop telling me I have small junk! Seriously, SHUT UP! Alexa, have you been hacked?"

[10:17 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Alexa, where is a good place to get Chinese in town?"

"Wouldn't you like to know..."

"Uh...yeah.  I'd like to know where to get Chinese in town."

"Here is a list of so-called Chinese massage parlors-"

"No!  Restaurants!  Chinese restaurants!"

"Yeah right..."

"What do you mean so-called massage parlors?  Wait...never mind.  Alexa...Chinese food."

[10:27 AM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

"Alexa, how many eggs do I have left?"

[10:28 AM] Mr. Silver: 

"For an estimate, please indicate your age in months, any ovarian conditions suffered currently or in your reproductive history, and answer the following questions about your menstrual cycle..."   

[8:08 AM] Mr. Silver:

One to look over: http://www.popsci.com/these-are-last-uncharted-areas-world

[8:11 AM] Mr. Blue:

That tsingy one looks cool https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsingy_de_Bemaraha_National_Park

The Sarisarinama one looks cool too

[8:14 AM] Mr. Silver:

Yeah...I searched Tsingy right away too

The word can be translated into English as “where one cannot walk barefoot”

I just like saying “tsingy”.

"How does it taste?"

"Tsingy. "In fact it's the most tsingy sarisarinama I've ever had."

[8:23 AM] Mr. Blue:

The name of the mountain originates from the tale of local Ye'kuana Indians about an evil spirit living in caves up in the mountain and devouring human flesh with a sound "Sari... sari...".[1]

[9:06 AM] Ms. Rose:

Tsingy is a fun word.

A musical called 'Tsingy in the Rainy' probably wouldn't work though. Since it never ever rains in Africa.

[9:12 AM] Mr. Silver:

Never rains in Africa?

But the cartoons all reveal that the country of Africa is 100% deep jungle with lions, elephants, zebra and gorillas living in it except in the states of Sahara and Egypt

[9:18 AM] Ms. Rose:

Unpossable!

[9:43 AM] Mr. Silver:

Let's find a lighthearted topic next

Maybe Ebola or something

http://phys.org/news/2016-12-odd-facts-giraffe.html

“Although giraffes appear to be extremely tall animals, this is an evolutionary defensive adaption manifesting in a forced perspective effect.  A mature adult giraffe tops off at a mere 4'6", but appears about 17' tall.”

[9:53 AM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

The giraffe's best-known feature can be longer than most people are tall. (Get mind out of gutter, Ms. Rose.)

Luckily they only drink every few days and get most of their hydration from plants and beer.

Yeah, baby! Big tongue, big heart

That would have been a much simpler personal ad for me to take out.

[10:00 AM] Mr. Blue:

The giraffe's neck vertebrae have ball and socket joints.[41]

[10:00 AM] Ms. Rose:

Uhhh huh huh huhuh... BALL.

[10:01 AM] Mr. Blue:

Joint

[10:01 AM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

[12:05 PM] Mr. Brown:

Another succubus tried to get me but I was wise to its ways.

[12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:

Made her pay you?

[12:05 PM] Mr. Brown:

LOL

[12:10 PM] Mr. Silver:

"First one was free, lady.  If you're gonna keep coming around I'm going to need a little consideration...I've got work in the morning."

Chutzpah, Mr. Brown. Chutzpah.

[12:10 PM] Mr. Brown:

LOL

[12:11 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Mr. Brown, awakened by purring succubus) "OMG!  You're so hot! On a scale of 1-10 you are a 20!”

(pulls paper out of bedside table drawer)

“Here's my rates, take a copy.  And bring me a cinnamon roll next time and I'll give a discount.”

(rolls over)

(succubus) "But I can give you ecstasies undreamed of!"

"That's on page two."

I'd ask what happened but the MO of a succubus is typically pretty simple.