522 - Keeping Up Our Mythological Standards

[8:16 AM] 

From 2nd ed stuff:

According to the rules, Jack’s 10d6 “Merry Men” would start assembling at whatever was considered his stronghold.  

Rolled 37 zero-level fighters.

I figure they are cleaning and setting up at that lighthouse/fortress nobody but Jack wanted, and the town is being re-raised around it.   :-D 

It will have to be named “Carabas”, of course…perhaps run by a clever Catfolk majordomo named Puss who has a penchant for fancy boots.  

The title Marquis would do nicely, 😉  

[8:19 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

:)

[8:28 AM] 

(that was an email to the DM, BTW...forgot to note that)

Been really playing up the "I'm Jack...according to the stories I'm supposed to..."

and it's been working out, to everyone's irritation/(admitted amusement)

I pulled "Dragon slayer" on the king last game

<O) "DRAGON slayer?"

"Yeah...slayed a dragon."

"It was an illusion!" 

"An illusion that was causing us damage and was going to kill us.  I destroyed it. So 'Dragon slayer'."

(party) " |-( (groan)"

[10:19 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

LOL

[10:24 AM] 

Also one-shot an ogre.  "Giant" classed.  "Jack the Giant Killer"

Got my "half kingdom" per the email up there

Keep talking about needing a princess

Couldn't get the "get in my sack" bag, but did get a "Bag of Tricks"

(me shopping) "I still need a remarkable belt and boots."

As bard I've told the adventures of me and "My Amazing Companions"...a la the story.

"We aren't YOUR amazing companions."

"Of course you are.  And I'm giving you all the credit, you know."

[10:34 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

nice

[10:35 AM] 

We have an alignment friction issue between Jack and the paladin

NG vs LG

And I keep hinting she's not actually "good"

"You're just going to murder this guy?  He surrendered."

"He's evil and must be destroyed."

"That's pretty terrible.  Try being nice."

(which I have been.  I have a few evil things that kinda or specifically "owe" me.)

[10:39 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

As Lawful – If they surrender, should you not arrest them and turn them into the local authorities?

[10:40 AM] 

Heh...we have two mummies in the party because I wouldn't let her go after them.

"We invaded their home.  They're behaving themselves and helping. Leave them alone."

"GRRR!!!"

[10:41 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

Hmm if it is a demon or devil you are not actually killing it just banishing it.

[10:42 AM] 

Yes

Not an issue...smack 'em

Though devils will agree to rules

But humans... "Try redeeming them." 

[10:42 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

Always an interesting call.

I know my ranger brought in a ton of goblins into the group for awhile and helped them establish a village near my lands

[10:42 AM] 

"I'm no CLERIC!"

"Shame..."

[10:43 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

Paladins should also be redeemers when possible.

At least in my opinion

There are some Paladin codes that allow for things you would not expect

[10:46 AM] 

Yup.  It's me playing Jack but also me as DM/Anthropologist challenging the player's conceptions.

And it's going well, honestly, because technically she's been playing under this sort of fluid morality since we played in college.

[10:47 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

*nod*

[10:47 AM] 

I emphasized the "they're still just people" attitude way back then with a bunch of people who'd never played anything but hack and slash.

It stuck.

[10:49 AM]  Mr. Yellow: 

I know the one code I followed as my werebear paladin - you kill traitors and those that betray you and your group.

Chris's character killed a party member because he was telling an enemy of our plans before he could finish talking. He then looked to me worrying I would condemn him but I turned and said "Well done. Now lets kill the enemy" 

That fell right into my oath and code

[12:45 PM] 

heh

Gonna be dead anyway

[12:48 PM]  Mr. Yellow: 

I forget which book I found the code in but worked well for a werebear

[10:12 AM] 

Forgot about "Stargate".  We watched that about a week ago.  Been a while but have seen it enough to think about some things and ignore other distractions.

[10:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

i like that one

[10:12 AM] 

yes

[10:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

not perfect but fun

[10:12 AM] 

exactly. 

[10:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

with a neat idea

[10:13 AM] 

And clearly sequel bait...but they made a lot of TV series instead

They obviously had some good consultants on it.

Linguist, Egyptologist, cultural anthropologist.  Very "real".

[10:14 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

i watched “Troy”

The made-up modified adventures of Greek heroes

lol

[10:14 AM] 

As much as I watched of Troy, I thought that was very well done too.

Never finished though

[10:15 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

it was done good

I just know it does not follow the story completely

you have  Odysus, Hector, and Achilles

Odysseyus

[10:16 AM]  

(Keep trying...) 

Ajax

Paris

All as should be

They took out the gods and made a war movie. We just didn't get through it all and never went back.

Was going well though.

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

yes

although they still talk about the gods a bunch

but make jokes about it

Achilles desecrated a statue of Apollo by chopping his head off and he is still standing “The gods don't care about this war”

[10:18 AM] 

Lot of Greek intellectuals would talk about the gods like they weren't really there or a big deal, or because they had to to comply. 

Achilles was clearly in that camp

[10:22 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

yes

[10:22 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Troy was one of those films where they used CGI to make armies that were probably larger than the entire population of Europe at the time

[10:22 AM] 

I suppose it complies with the rest of the exaggerations. 

“1000 ships!”

Greece in that period maybe didn't even have 1000 of anything we'd call ships

“1000 ships!  1000!  Ok, maybe hundreds. Ok, maybe 50 actual things we'd call ships but a lot of boats!”

“Greece EMPTIED for the war!  Emptied I say!  Whole city states sent every able bodied man to the war!”

“And when I say emptied, I mean all the soldier nobility who were stupid enough agree to go to try to get one girl back...so...like 0.0001%.”

“Plus their soldiers and some crew who were already working the boats...so...a small percentage of Greece emptied for the war.”

[10:26 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

maybe they sewed thousands of straw dummies to intimidate the enemy

[10:26 AM] 

“The siege lasted 10 years!” = “a long time”.  

And they had no idea how to besiege a city. And when they actually GOT to fight it ended in 4 days. They basically sat around on the beach not doing much except defending themselves for most of 10 years? 

Because a king's wife left him.  

Ehhhhh.

To listen to the “Catalog” and guess, it was 143,000 Greeks

On the upside, it would have been 10 years of unprecedented peace and progress in Greece with all the warlike meatheads who would waste that much materiel and manpower on a fool's mission sitting outside Troy instead of causing trouble at home.

[10:27 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"Odysseus! We have defeated Troy, now we must make a sacrifice to the gods."

"Forget it!  that's barbaric.  Now kill all the men and enslave all the women and children."

[10:27 AM] 

They could have just settled their own city-state in less than 10 years

“10... months?”

“...mmmmmaybe...”

“What did everyone eat??

"Ok it was a couple months, OK?"

"OK"

[10:27 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

I like when the kid told Achilles “They say you are immortal”. “Then why would i bother with the helmet?"

[10:28 AM] 

“Anyway.  After that, Odysseus and crew offended Poseidon and it took him 10 years to get home!“

>:-(

See? 10 years again. He could have walked home in a month, and that would be at a leisurely pace taking in the sights.

[10:28 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

The poor Greeks can't ever win

[10:28 AM]  Mr. Blue:

So that entire "Troy" film cast was blue eyed and/or blond haired northern euros

Now the BBC is casting a black guy as Achilles http://hollywood.greekreporter.com/2018/01/02/controversy-looms-as-mythical-achilles-is-played-by-black-actor-in-new-bbc-epic/

i think Achilles himself was supposedly blond

but "blond" by ancient Greek standards is probably like just light brown to us

and most everyone else in ancient Greece probably looked like modern Greeks

Mediterranean. brown hair. brown eyes. olive skin

[10:31 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 

yes

he looked godly compared to the rest in their standards

[10:32 AM] 

A towering 5'6" light-haired giant of a man!

[10:32 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

heheh

Danny Devito is Achilles. Ben Stiller is Odysseus

[10:33 AM] 

How tall did the nephilim really need to be in The Bible, when you get down to it?

5'10"?

Some Germanics wandered south and the locals were amazed.

Reminds me of a translation of Perseus vs Medusa.

He was told to fly far to the north "where the air gets cold and feathers fall from the sky"

Guessing they never saw snow enough to have a name for it

[10:38 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

A lot of groups were described as "ruddy" back then too it seems

like Scythians for example

[10:39 AM] 

People who sunburn?

[10:39 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

maybe.. or red haired

Suebians too i think

[10:40 AM] 

Suebian?

[10:40 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Germanic group

I mis-remembered.. the Suebians were thought to be red haired because the bog bodies had red hair but that's just what happens to hair in a bog over many centuries

Scythians, though, were described thusly https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scythians#Physical_appearance