[12/4
3:29 PM] Ms. Rose:
We're
gonna go see Krampus tonight.
[12/4
3:35 PM] Mr. Silver:
May
"Krampus" not suck...
However...
Sigh...
It's
notable for being rated PG-13, BTW...I didn't expect that.
[12/4
3:36 PM] Ms. Rose:
Sooo...it's
more scary than a PG-13 should be? Or the opposite?
[12/4
3:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
Most
Christmas scare fests are historically pretty slashy
I
was expecting an R
"The
extreme graphic violence involving children would typically rate an
NC-17, however the catchy musical soundtrack leaves both crying
children and horrified adults singing and bopping as they drag their
wrung-out souls from the theater in the grandest of G-rated wholesome
family goodness! Therefore an averaging was deemed
appropriate."
"Gruesome,
Gory, Gut-Wrenching, Toe-Tapping FUN!" Family Magazine
(LATER)
[12/7
10:24 AM] Ms. Rose:
We
saw Krampus on Friday night. Highly disturbing and depressing.
Nightmares well into the wee hours of Saturday morning. (But consider
who's talking, so...)
[12/7
10:43 AM] Mr. Silver:
That
good, eh?
:)
[12/7
10:47 AM] Ms. Rose:
It's
been a long, LONG time since I've gone to a "kids" movie on
opening night. And I was definitely feeling my age. I guess it was
the way pre-teens and tweens and whatever they're called now deal
with terror/horror – by laughing hysterically at everything that's
not funny. I don't remember being that way at that age.
Theater
was totally packed. There were like 5 adults in the whole place,
including me. The movie had a couple funny bits, but the overall
feeling was very not-funny, IMO. But the kiddies... non-stop laughter
the whole damn movie.
And
I was also surprised: It's PG-13, but there were two clear F-bombs
and several others implied. And countless S-bombs.
(/end
Ms. Rose's Movie Review)
[12/7
11:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
Samuel
L. Jackson's: “The F-ing Night They F-ing Saved M-F-ing Christmas
G-D It!"
[12/7
11:14 AM] Mr. Brown:
Krampus
for the kiddos
[12/7
11:14 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Say
you don't believe in Santa Claus again! I DARE you!"
[12/7
11:15 AM] Ms. Rose:
LOL
[12/7
11:17 AM] Mr. Silver:
So...basically
it sucked?
[12/7
11:26 AM] Ms. Rose:
No,
it definitely didn't suck. The concept and the way they presented the
"lack of Christmas spirit" was done very well. (The open
credits are slow-mo shots of Black Friday shoppers punching each
other out and trampling retail workers, set to one of those old-timey
Christmas songs.) But me generally taking horror movies too seriously
and the theater full of brats is what bothered me.
It
is depressing. And it definitely does NOT have a happy ending. But if
you're emotionally stable (or, not me) then it's worth it for sure.
Neat story.
[12/7
11:27 AM] Mr. Silver:
So
it's a film for at home
In
the dark
Under
a blanket.
Under
the couch.
[12/7
11:27 AM] Ms. Rose:
YES!
[12/7
11:28 AM] Mr. Brown:
On
Christmas Eve!
[12/7
11:32 AM] Mr. Silver:
Right
[12/7
11:32 AM] Mr. Brown:
For
awhile everybody was good and joyful now everybody is hateful and
wants everything now is the time for KRAMPUS
[12/7
11:33 AM] Mr. Silver:
Kramp-mas
On
that note, in the Christmas parade this year, there was not one, but
TWO groups of steampunk goths walking in the thing, but still no
Krampus Korps
We
GOTTA
[12/7
11:36 AM] Mr. Brown:
They
were doing fire juggling tricks
Make
a fire breathing Krampus
[12/7
11:40 AM] Mr. Silver:
All
that fur? no.
But
I was considering a contact or two for some fire handling
hobbyists...be a nice touch with the beasts
Even
a sad Krampus team would be better than some of the (Cough!
shameless Cough! advertising) floats we had this year.
[12/7
11:44 AM] Mr. Brown:
We
need to decide on new krampus, or traditional.
[12/7
11:45 AM] Ms. Rose:
Whatever
you decide, no matter how horrifying, will be absolutely hilarious to
the under-35 crowd. I promise. :P
[12/7
11:47 AM] Mr. Silver:
Well,
you see, that's what the planted audience members are for.
We'll
have a kid every couple blocks in a distinctive outfit that we drag
screaming from the crowd, beat the living tar out of him, throw him
in the basket and roughhouse, and then dump a dummy out on the street
in the same clothes. Then move on.
It'll
be a hit!
And bring criminal charges!
And will be THE last Krampus parade in (town).
[12/7
11:52 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahahaha!
[12/7
11:58 AM] Mr. Brown:
"Mr.
Silver? I think that was just a regular kid that was watching the
parade. "
"I
know, but makes it more scary."
[12/7
1:39 PM] Ms. Rose:
Naming
your child Bubba automatically disqualifies him from Mensa and Nobel
Peace Prizes.
And
5th grade.
[12/7
1:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
Fortunately
his name is not really Bubba
[12/7
1:49 PM] Ms. Rose:
Most
aren't, I've heard. But if you list it as Bubba on the birth
certificate... [insert joke about stupid person].
[12/7
1:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
You
are, of course, referring to the famous Cletus-Billy Bob Matrix?
[12/7
1:58 PM] Ms. Rose:
Hahahaha!
[12/7
1:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
“Bubba”
is a clean 8, if I recall
This
reminds me of the only two tales I remember of "Hunter".
Freshman
year college, Spanish, I made friends with a woman whose sister had
married "Hunter"...a high scorer on the C-BB Matrix /
Otis-Jed Parallax Tables.
She
told many tales of how dim Hunter was, but I only recall two:
#1
- During extreme weather with flash flooding and confirmed tornado
touchdowns, and the media blowing up to seek shelter, Hunter decided
as a responsible neighbor to head out and knock on doors to see if
everyone was ok.
#2
- Long ago there was a TV commercial for dog treats/food that ended
with 3 happy dogs clapping their paws together in appreciation.
Hunter sees this the first time.
"No
way."
(friend,
interested) "No way what, Hunter?"
"That
commercial. They might be able to get one of those dogs to do
that, but not three of them all at the same time!"
[12/8
9:15 AM] Mr. Blue:
Nothin'
like a cutie doin' attempted murder:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3350412/Art-Basel-stabber-attacked-stranger-X-Acto-knife-aspiring-architect-recently-moved-New-York-graduate-school.html
[12/8
9:15 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Aspiring
mental patient"
"Might
go into Convict-tecture"
[12/8
9:16 AM] Ms. Rose:
Looks
like a plot for a new anime movie.
[12/8
9:17 AM] Mr. Blue:
Victim
looks cute too! Double whammy
[12/8
9:17 AM] Mr. Silver:
You
and your crazy lethal girls
[12/8
9:25 AM] Mr. Blue:
I
want to join this group! (some Craigslist gay group calling
themselves "Sparkly Goats"...long gone.)
[12/8
9:26 AM] Ms. Rose:
SPARKLY
GOATS! I want to join just for the name!
"...a
rabbit named Stanley..."
I
wonder what gender Stanley identifies with.
[12/8
9:29 AM] Mr. Blue:
Stanley
is genderfluid pansexual and polyamorous
[12/8
9:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
(meeting
them) "Well, I was really hoping when you listed yourselves as 6
queer guys, I was more hoping you meant exceptionally unusual...like
goths or modern primitives or performance artists. I'm not sure
this is gonna work."
