Mr. Brown
I almost got frostbite on Sunday.
12:23 PM Mr. Silver
Better luck next try.
I've had it...pass.
It took years for the feeling to come
back to some of my toes and for cold water/snow not to burn my hands.
12:26 PM Mr. Brown
My hands were numb
I've realized wearing a watch was bad
idea. It got really cold and almost froze to my skin.
It was a bad day to forget gloves.
12:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
My hands go numb instantly.
That’s why I archery hunt.
No snow.
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
Why do we live this far north again?
12:35 PM Mr. Amethyst
Because we don’t have giant bugs up
here.
12:35 PM Mr. Silver
"Ogg, Oog, Ugh, Org...pack your
rocks, we're heading to those hills where the white stuff is."
“Why?”
“The gods live there, maybe.”
“Well, in that case, lets go then.”
11:48 AM Mr. Gray
No F-ing
Way....
http://perezhilton.com/2013-11-26-tom-cruise-laura-prepon-dating-the-manor-hotel-los-angeles/
http://perezhilton.com/2013-11-26-tom-cruise-laura-prepon-dating-the-manor-hotel-los-angeles/
The redhead from that 70s show...and
Tom Cruise?!
12:41 PM Mr. Silver
Slight age gap there. Sanity
gap. Maybe gender preference gap, but that's just a rumor.
12:41 PM Mr. Gray
Height gap.
He is like 5'2" and she is like
5'11"
Heh
He always wears books with heels to
make himself taller.
Boots, even.
12:55 PM Mr. Silver
"Bring Mr. Cruise's phonebooks
over, please. Set them there. Would you like a hand up, sir?
Nice 'stacks'...very good taste."
12:56 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
I could so picture that.
Mr. Amethyst
8:20 AM Mr. Silver
Perfect!
"(blaring noise suddenly pops up)
Sorry! Stupid phone. I brushed 'play' on the edge."
"You're still listening to
Britney Spears?"
"What? I lik- (blaring
noise). Sorry."
"That's really annoying."
"Just a sec, I'll change the app.
Ok. So we're meeting at the Japanese place at 6?
“I've located
3 Japanese restaurants in your area. Would you like me to
tell-*”
“DAMN IT SIRI!"
"Just put a strip of masking
tape over the edge, like I did."
Mr. Brown
I have these sparkling drinks Mrs.
Brown got on sale.
They are called Fruit Water, but they
contain no juice at all, and a lot of artificial sweeteners.
1:17 PM Mr. Blue
I’ve had those. They seem to have
absolutely no nutritional value..
1:17 PM Mr. Brown
Yep, other than vitamins.
1:20 PM Mr. Silver
"Made with real froot!"
1:21 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
1:21 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
1:22 PM Mr. Gray
“With a capital F, for Foul, Fake,
and Forgettable.”
1:22 PM Mr. Amethyst
Facetious
1:23 PM Mr. Gray
Oh! I know! “FECES”!!
1:23 PM Mr. Amethyst
...Ooohhhh.....too far...too far.
1:23 PM Mr. Gray
You're right...Feces would have SOME
nutritional value. Doesn't count.
1:24 PM Mr. Amethyst
Flamboyant?
Flammable?
1:25 PM Mr. Amethyst
Fictitious.
1:25 PM Mr. Silver
Fiberglass.
1:25 PM Mr. Amethyst
Ohhh, well played.
1:25 PM Mr. Gray
Flatulent....well, after drinking it of
course.
1:25 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
1:27 PM Mr. Blue
A lot of those out there: "Zero
sugar, zero calorie drink!:
"Then why am I drinking it?"
1:29 PM Mr. Gray
What kills me is how much you have to
pay for a bottle of water. I mean seriously, how is water more
expensive than a bottle of soda?!
1:29 PM Mr. Silver
"Evian" spelled backwards is
naïve.
1:30 PM Mr. Gray
Yep.
For a reason.
1:32 PM Mr. Amethyst
Naïve?
WTF is a naïve?
Mr. Amethyst
Mrs Amethyst's grandma has been over
constantly and making me wanna freak out.
She's all "This should all be
spotless!"
Yeah, well I live with 3 women. Two of
them can't clean and the third tries but isn’t fast enough to keep
up with just the eldest.
7:54 AM Mr. Silver
You're getting the ol' 'In MY day'
lies, huh?
7:55 AM Mr. Amethyst
Pretty much. LOL
8:06 AM Mr. Silver
"I kept my house clean and in
order every day! And you know how? Attitude, elbow
grease, self delusion, and a chain-rollercoaster of coffee,
cigarettes and Valium!"
8:06 AM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahaha!
Shes the "all white" type
that doesn’t remember when she had kids.
Mr. Brown
I think I have shingles again. This
sucks.
7:49 AM Mr. Silver
Yuck.
7:49 AM Mr. Brown
I've been wondering why, for the past
week, my back has hurt.
And my ribs.
And then the stinging and itching
started.
7:52 AM Mr. Silver
"No pulse, no heartbeat, ambient
body temperature. Yeah, that's definitely shingles."
7:54 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
7:54 AM Mr. Silver
What a terrible name. I always
picture tiny people hammering little asphalt squares to a person's
skin.
7:54 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, they have another name the
doctors use.
7:55 AM Mr. Silver
Herpes zoster.
7:58 AM Mr. Silver
Like "piles". I can't help
but picture a person pooping in perfect little hills since I was a
kid.
7:59 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah, not fun either.
8:06 AM Mr. Silver
Morning, Mr Blue.
So the zombie apocalypse is starting.
Mr. Brown is undergoing the
transformation.
We're doomed.
I thought you'd like to know.
8:08 AM Mr. Blue
What's his deal?
8:09 AM Mr. Silver
He thinks it's "shingles".
8:09 AM Mr. Blue
Ahh.
I love those shingles commercials.
Somber music, dutch angles.
"The pain was excruciating..."
"If you have had chicken pox (and
who hasn't?) the shingles virus is already inside you!!"
8:11 AM Mr. Silver
"Caused by the chicken pox virus,
symptoms include rashes, blistering (often as a stripe) death, vigor
mortis and a insatiable hunger for living flesh."
8:11 AM Mr. Brown
Its so itchy!
8:11 AM Mr. Silver
"Itchin' for some brains."
8:12 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
8:18 AM Mr. Brown
It is strange. When I ate deer brains
yesterday, I felt better.
8:18 AM Mr. Silver
"Stay alert, never travel alone,
and keep a bottle of Calamine with you at all times."
8:19 AM Mr. Brown
If you control the itch, you control
the problem.
8:19 AM Mr. Silver
One good splash of Calamine lotion is
enough to make most zombies sigh contentedly and wander off.
8:20 AM Mr. Amethyst
Maybe that's what they need on The
Walking Dead. No one has tried Calamine yet.
8:21 AM Mr. Brown
That would be awesome. I would watch
that episode.
Someone running from a zombie, ends up
in pharmacy, grabs first thing on the shelf and throws it.
It splashes all over the zombie, and it
pauses, just lets out a sigh then walks away, rubbing it into it's
skin. Zoom in on the label: Calomine.
8:22 AM Mr. Amethyst
The look of bewilderment on the
person's face would be amazing.
8:28 AM Mr. Brown
I’m in pain. I need more brains.
8:35 AM Mr. Blue
When did zombies start craving
brains?
In most cases it's just living flesh.
8:36 AM Mr. Brown
It started in the funny zombie movies.
8:36 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah, I guess so. It's kind of a
specific niche.
8:36 AM Mr. Silver
They aren't even really zombies...they
are a rather primitive kind of ghoul, and the earliest mention of the
dead eating the living (that I know of) is Ishtar being a bitch in
The Epic of Gilgamesh.
Even “Night of the Living Dead”
never called them zombies.
8:39 AM Mr. Silver
But then, Frankenstein was the
scientist's name and look what people call his monster.
8:39 AM Mr. Amethyst
I like WWZ's - “zeek”.
8:39 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah people make stuff up and shorten
stuff.
“Frankenstein's monster? Lets just
say Frankenstein.”
8:40 AM Mr. Silver
“The horror of the French stone!”
8:49 AM Mr. Silver
Those creatures aren't really ghouls,
either...just "ghoulish"
Ghouls are middle eastern monsters
that, technically, prefer human carrion not fresh human.
But they will indulge in fresh human.
Which makes them "ogres" as
well.
So much nuance...It's rather silly
really.
8:51 AM Mr. Silver
They are also magicians.
8:51 AM Mr. Amethyst
Poof!
A dove!
8:52 AM Mr. Silver
Not far off. The first mention of one
I recall in the Arabian Nights turned her master into a dog when he
caught her “dining out”.
8:54 AM Mr. Silver
The modern "zombie" is closer
to a vampire
8:55 AM Mr. Brown
Just looking for flesh instead.
8:56 AM Mr. Silver
A dead being with an animating life
force that devours sentient “life” for sustenance and creates more of
itself through it's cursed bite.
Except the one rather crudely eats it's
fill, and the other more subtly drains the blood. Assuming some fiendish intelligence behind it, a ghoulish zombie eats the victim's brain so it can't becomes another ghoulish zombie, much as a vampire can simply let it's victim live or choose not to make another vampire (depending on which curse folklore you follow). Too many undead, not enough food. Every once in a while, you hear there is a plague...like mice or locusts.
Mr. Brown
Crap the rash is coming now. I’m
becoming contagious.
11:25 AM Mr. Brown
I hate calling doctors' offices.
11:26 AM Mr. Blue
I didn't think there was anything they
can do.
11:26 AM Mr. Brown
They know good pain killers.
11:26 AM Mr. Silver
Morphine.
11:26 AM Mr. Blue
Well, get me some of that while you're
at it.
11:27 AM Mr. Brown
Also whether I should be at work.
11:27 AM Mr. Silver
Take 250ml of 100 proof alcohol, over
ice.
A twist of lemon or lime is optional
but the vitamin C is beneficial
11:35 AM Mr. Brown
And a vicadian
11:36 AM Mr. Amethyst
I looked in real fast and read that as
"vatican"
11:36 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
11:42 AM Mr. Silver
(Bishop takes out a crucifix on a
stethoscope assembly. Kisses. Puts on.) “Let's have a
listen...this will be a little cold. Breathe deeply… And
again... And again... Hmmm. Well, it sounds demonic or
diabolic. I'm going to write you a scrip for a course of
Vatican.”
11:42 AM Mr. Brown
"The power of Christ compels you
to take it for 10 days."
11:42 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:43 AM Mr. Silver
"Get some rest...Mass every
Sunday. Oh, and cut back on sin, or avoid it altogether."
