Day 124 - Baron Munchhausen And The Oobleck, We Discuss Blood Drinking Demons With Nary A Word About Politicians, Great Conspiracy McGuffins, Do It Outdoors Like Decent Folk, And We Can Smell You Are No Gourmand

Mr. Brown

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2011-11-23/sticky-goo-pennsylvania-turnpike/51368112/1

8:41 AM Mr. Silver

‎"Won't look like rain. Won't look like snow. Wont look like fog. That's all we know. We just cant tell you any more. We never made Oobleck before."

8:47 AM Mr. Gray

Sticky Goo?

I love how they never mention what the mess was

"Should we mention they may glow in the dark for a few days?"
"Nah...not important really..."

8:50 AM Mr. Gray

BTW...Did you see that the actor who played Baron Munchhausen died?

8:51 AM Mr. Silver

It said early on it was driveway sealant, but the rest was comments that nobody knew what it was.

Nope, hadn't heard that.

I like that movie...too bad it was mishandled and bombed.

8:52 AM Mr. Gray

Oh I must have missed the sealant part. Kept reading and it was just "A sticky goo" or "The tar-like substance"

Yeah, I always liked that flick

8:53 AM Mr. Yellow

Isn't that the first step to the zombie apocalypse?

8:53 AM Mr. Silver

Baron Munchhausen dying?

8:53 AM Mr. Gray

The tanker of "mysterious goo"?

8:54 AM Mr. Yellow

Yes

8:54 AM Mr. Gray

Baron Munchhausen cant die!!

You just have to believe!!

8:54 AM Mr. Yellow

Right ,so the tanker was spilled and he comes back as the first, and king, zombie.

8:58 AM Mr. Silver

"And, so my friends, the adventure with the tar and my subsequent elevation to the throne as king of the zombies was just another of the many times I've died.  An experience, again, that I heartily encourage you all to take the time to experience one day." 

8:59 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

7:48 AM Mr. Brown

So all the cultures have some type of blood drinking demon?

7:50 AM Mr. Silver

(ponders)

I think so. It's very universal concept

7:51 AM Mr. Brown

It must be the belief that the soul is in the blood or something.

7:51 AM Mr. Silver

There is a certain set of elements in any life experience that would lead to such monsters.

The combination of blood-sucking vermin and a primal admiration of animals and a desire to change into them or have their powers; not putting the two together as a form of evil in a culture seems very unlikely.

7:56 AM Mr. Brown

Some believe in Lilith.

7:59 AM Mr. Silver

She's a rather developed character compared to the level I'm talking about.

7:59 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah

7:59 AM Mr. Brown

I was watching History Decoded last night. They were trying to figure out what happened to the Whitehouse's cornerstone and the Capitol Building's cornerstone.

8:00 AM Mr. Silver

...

8:01 AM Mr. Brown

Apparently they are both missing.

8:01 AM Mr. Silver

Not really a good way to keep a building standing.

8:01 AM Mr. Brown

I know. LOL

There is a story that one of the presidents removed the original and took it somewhere.

And that in the Capitol's cornerstone, there is the original version of the Constitution in it.

8:02 AM Mr. Silver

Except it's not there.

8:03 AM Mr. Brown

They came to the conclusion that they are still right where they were put: under the buildings.

But when somebody was doing the excavation under the Capitol, when they got to where the cornerstone was and could almost see it, they called off the dig.

8:06 AM Mr. Silver

The Men In Black told them to back off, I’m sure.

Was Nicholas Cage lurking in the background with some ratty parchment and a steam-punk astrolabe?

8:12 AM Mr. Brown

With the Freemasons thrown in.

8:12 AM Mr. Silver

...naturally...

8:15 AM Mr. Silver

You turned it off just before Ashton Kutcher came out and told you "Yo history buff!  You got PUNK'D!"

"You watched an HOUR of stuff we made up about capitol ARCHITECTURE, man!  Yo, History Channel guys!  Come in!  Check out his face!  We totally GOT you, dude!"

8:51 AM Mr. Brown

What have you read on the Illuminati and the Statue of Liberty?

Something about the statue being a symbol of Satan.

9:02 AM Mr. Silver

"We thought it was Satanic...turns out it was just French."

9:02 AM Mr. Brown

lol

I think there was something about the torch.

9:19 AM Mr. Silver

You know the Oreo logo?

9:20 AM Mr. Brown

Yes.

9:21 AM Mr. Silver

The oval with the line and the two crossbars on the cookie itself?

The reason I don't eat Oreos?

9:22 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah?

9:23 AM Mr. Silver

Know what it's a symbol of?

9:25 AM Mr. Blue

No.

9:26 AM Mr. Silver

Answer...nothing really...good luck charm.

But I could call it Satanic and spread it around and convince more tinfoil hats that it's Satanic than the Statue of Liberty's torch.

9:29 AM Mr. Silver

Conclusion: it's a logo

9:29 AM Mr. Brown

Yep.

9:31 AM Mr. Silver

As for why I don't eat them – They are the worst tasting chocolate biscuits in the world, masked by sugary cream and tradition.

9:32 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah, I only like the centers. The cookies themselves are pretty chalky and bland.

9:39 AM Mr. Brown

This is crazy.

http://imgur.com/gallery/L87nt

9:40 AM Mr. Pink

LOL

9:41 AM Mr. Silver

Ewwww!

Though that reminds me of an anecdote from one of my college classes.

9:46 AM Mr. Silver

The professor was an anthropologist who integrated and lived with a native tribe in S.A. for a couple years.

9:52 AM Mr. Silver

She took the title of "mom" instead of "sister" when they asked...a choice she regretted.

(everyone comes to "moms" for help...they don't hassle "sisters")

But it did get her access to some things a “sister” wouldn't have had. Anyway, you have to be subtle as an outsider, but she made a couple friends close enough to start asking intimate questions.

9:54 AM Mr. Brown

Getting down to the dirty.

9:54 AM Mr. Silver

"So...you and your husband...when you...you know...have relations..."

"Yeah?"

"You just...send out the kids?  Or just go at it?"

"IN THE HUT???  EWWWW!"

"Sorry...I don't know, remember."

"I know.  No.  In the hut?  You DO that at home?  No, we go out into the woods like normal people."

"Ah... ... Seriously?"

9:56 AM Mr. Brown

Animal style.

9:56 AM Mr. Silver

Commune with Nature, as it were...

I imagine leaving one's daughter at home alone with her boyfriend is considered a much better idea than approving them going out with friends for a walk.

10:02 AM Mr. Silver

"Go to the PARK?  Not with MY daughter!  Get the heck out of my hut!"

1:12 PM Mr. Silver

Blech...someone stunk up the kitchen area with some sort of cheap-smelling frozen pepperoni pizza

"This pizza gets a rating of 10!  Crust 2, sauce 2, cheese 2, pepperoni 2, smell and flavor 2."

Day 123 - Risky Whiskey, Action Stars In Action, "O-oh Dreeeeam Pee-er!", The Great Escape From Stalag Katzenjammer, Kill It With A Sparkly Stake, And Some New D&D Spells To Keep A Wizard At Home

8:43 AM Mr. Brown

I’m going to get me some of that new Jack Daniels with honey to try it out to see how it tastes.

8:45 AM Mr. Silver

Jack Daniels with honey?

Ehhhhhhhhh

8:46 AM Mr. Brown

Basically, in my mind, its whiskey and mead.

lol

8:50 AM Mr. Brown

http://www.google.com/search?q=jack+daniels+honey&hl=en&prmd=imvnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=gajLTo2tDqfr0gH6tuEO&sqi=2&ved=0CGIQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=852

8:58 AM Mr. Brown

I bet its smooth.

8:58 AM Mr. Pink

Smooth as gasoline.

8:59 AM Mr. Brown

You have never had good whiskey, have you?

There are ones out there that go down really smooth.

8:59 AM Mr. Pink

I'm not sure what brand I’ve had, but it was definitely not smooth.

9:00 AM Mr. Silver

"This whiskey is all sticky and attracts bees and bears!"

9:01 AM Mr. Brown

You probably had Black Velvet.

9:01 AM Mr. Pink

That actually rings a bell.

9:02 AM Mr. Silver

"Glen Rotorooter - a Scottish-style blended whiskey"

"Quality...From the washtubs of Glen Rotorooter."

9:04 AM Mr. Pink

lol

9:05 AM Mr. Silver

"Some whiskey blends select 3 or 4 low-grade distillations, slap on a fancy label and over-charge you for a harsh whiskey experience.  But we here at Glen Rotorooter carelessly randomize at least 6 low-grade distillations in every batch!"

9:06 AM Mr. Pink

Glen Rotorooter needs a more old time sounding name.

9:08 AM Mr. Silver

Glen Drainsnake?

9:08 AM Mr. Pink

Haha!

9:10 AM Mr. Silver

"That tearing and rasping feeling going down the throat, through the gut and out the urethra is a centuries-old Glen Drainsnake signature quality."

"Glen Drainsnake - 'It Burns!'"

9:11 AM Mr. Brown

Real Irish whiskey from the hills would be awesome, but it could probably be used to power a car. LOL

9:13 AM Mr. Silver

"Straight from the hills of Ireland...past the health departments, liquor control boards and international safety inspectors...to your hands." 

And what is that product called, Mr. Brown?

9:13 AM Mr. Brown

Gutrott Whiskey

9:14 AM Mr. Silver

"Look for the Irish Whiskey that Foams!"

Mr. Gray

LMAO

I'd try it!

What's a little poisoning or blindness? Bah!

9:19 AM Mr. Brown

“It can be drunk, used to clean out the drains, start your car on a cold day, color your hair blonde, clean a wound out and numb it at the same time. Gutrott – a multi-use whiskey!

9:20 AM Mr. Silver

Next up: "Old Euthanasia" English whiskey.

We've had most of our traffic on the blog from Russia recently.  They'll enjoy this bit.  Maybe I'll even swap in the word Vodka.

10:01 AM Mr. Blue

(Referring to actor Brian Thompson) I always assumed he was foreign since he never had speaking roles.

10:01 AM Mr. Brown

He was the bad guy in “Cobra”.

10:02 AM Mr. Blue

He was in “The Three Amigos” also.

10:02 AM Mr. Brown

He is in a lot of stuff.

He was in “Loin Heart”

Van Damme kicks him in the head.

10:03 AM Mr. Silver

“Loin Heart”!

Van Damme kicks him in in the loin!

10:03 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

10:04 AM Mr. Silver

(movie trailer voice) "One man...one mission...one fighting move...”Loin Heart”.  Starring Jean Claude Van Damme."

I'd watch that, actually

10:12 AM Mr. Blue

Loin as in meat?

10:12 AM Mr. Silver

Loin as in “crotch”.

10:12 AM Mr. Blue

ahh

I was thinking loin as in tenderloin

10:13 AM Mr. Silver

It'd be tender all right...

10:13 AM Mr. Blue

The movie could feature Reb Brown too.

10:13 AM Mr. Brown

“I'm going to scream and flex, make a bad face, then kick you!”

10:13 AM Mr. Silver

...in the loin!"

10:15 AM Mr. Brown

If I remember right van Damme was a fitness instructor before becoming a action star

10:20 AM Mr. Brown

The first film van Damme was in, he was an extra in “Breakin'”.

10:25 AM Mr. Blue

He dances weirdly in it, even for him.

http://www.jasonglaspey.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/vandamme-dancing.gif  LMAO!

10:26 AM Mr. Silver

Hehe!

OK, you win...that was worth the click!

12:20 PM Mr. Brown

Somebody blew up the bathroom.

Nasty!

12:25 PM Mr. Silver

Go in there and finish your business or the terrorists have already won.

12:27 PM Mr. Blue

11/22/11 (Never Forget)

12:28 PM Mr. Brown

Never forget 44?

12:28 PM Mr. Silver

44???  11/22/11 = .04545 Mr. Brown!

12:30 PM Mr. Brown

Oops.  I added.

12:30 PM Mr. Blue

The day Al Qaeda blew up the bathroom.

I gotta pee, so I’m heading in there now...if I’m not back in 15, remember me as a peace maker.

12:32 PM Mr. Brown

You mean “fire maker”.

12:35 PM Mr. Brown

“Dream pee-er” (I had “Dream Weaver” playing in my head.)

12:36 PM Mr. Silver

(signs) "Oh Hallucination Knitter...Make me a sweater of delusional deligh-hite!"

12:40 PM Mr. Brown

“I believe you can make me a suit of all my fri-ights!”

12:44 PM Mr. Silver

"Oh greeeeeen beavers...I believe that the shrooms still have me hi-igh!"

12:45 PM Mr. Brown

Intergalactic hallucinogenic knitter with a green beaver?

As a pet?

12:45 PM Mr. Silver

These lyrics are getting a little clunky.

12:46 PM Mr. Brown

Yeah.. We need new song.

12:48 PM Mr. Silver

Crap...ok.  And I was just to belt out a line about “cheese weasels”.

1:00 PM Mr. Blue

I’m out, later.

1:05 PM Mr. Silver

Who was that masked mook?

1:17 PM Mr. Gray

Oh, now here is trouble.

1:17 PM Mr. Silver

Welcome to Loopy Land, Mr. Gray.  I'm not sure anything will happen for the rest of the day, but here's hoping.   Mr. Blue ran off.

1:18 PM Mr. Gray

Mr. Blue ran off? Just lost it and jumped out a window?

1:18 PM Ms. Oni

The windows don't open... I’ve tried.

1:19 PM Mr. Gray

Sure they will....that’s what chairs are for!

1:25 PM Mr. Silver

The fall from it though...it doesn't seem high enough. Even if you get the dive angle right you might be better just dropping neck-first onto the broken glass.

Wait...you wanted to live...just a sec...need to reconfigure this to an “escape” plan.

1:26 PM Ms. Oni

I was so disappointed to find the windows don't open after spending all that time fashioning cabling into a rudimentary ladder.

1:31 PM Mr. Silver

I was going to build a pommel horse for us to exercise with between the cube rows while one of us dug a tunnel out, hidden underneath.

1:31 PM Mr. Gray

Good idea...minor issue though...we're on the building's second floor.

1:31 PM Mr. Silver

"There's already a huge tunnel down here!"

1:32 PM Mr. Brown

We could dig a tunnel out through the GM's office.

He's not normally in there.

1:32 PM Mr. Silver

He'd never suspect a thing!

"Was this pommel horse and all these guys jumping over it in here the whole time?"

"Yes sir!"

"Hmmm...okay."

1:34 PM Mr. Gray

LOL

"You just make sure that’s all cleaned up when you're done."

1:35 PM Mr. Brown

We could make a Trojan horse out of cardboard boxes, all get in it, move through Sales, then run out the door.

1:37 PM Mr. Gray

I just had this mental image of Danny standing there talking to someone and this cardboard horse squeaking by in the background...stopping when he turns around....moving again once he turns back....

1:38 PM Ms. Oni

LMAO!!!!!!

1:38 PM Mr. Gray

"Shhh...everyone be quiet!!"
"Not my fault..Mr. Brown has his shoe in my butt."
"That's not my shoe"
"Just move faster!!"

2:08 PM Mr. Brown

I still don't understand the concept of a sparkly vampire.

2:09 PM Mr. Gray

Yeah...I don't get that at all. I'm big on myth and legend and there's not one story I've EVER heard that went: "Beware the undead...for they drink the blood of the living...and are sparkly like a homosexual at a gay pride parade!!”

2:10 PM Mr. Silver

The whole thing is based on a dream the author had.

If Mr. Brown can't get out of a pond he was swimming naked in (from his dream this morning) her vamps can sparkle.

Vampire legend canon?  No.  But vampire "canon" has gone berserk in the past 20 years.

In 5 years it'll be a character bloodline that can be taken in the Xth edition of the "Vampire" RPG and no one will think twice about it.

"The Cullenite clan members are broody, hit on teenagers, don't drink human blood and sparkle instead of taking damage in the sun.  They have the following additional powers...."

(you may now scream, Mr. Gray)

2:17 PM Mr. Gray

Oh, I did more than that....I think I just died a little inside

10:58 AM Mr. Yellow

I figure I will use my character's experiences to come up with new spell ideas to overcome adversities he has had to face in his adventures.

11:00 AM Mr. Silver

“Raegar's Wedgie Ward”

Level 0 - enchantment - anyone other than the spellcaster or wearer of the underwear is hit with an electric shock for 1HP of damage if the back of said underwear is grabbed and tugged.

11:04 AM Mr. Gray

"Raegar's Hot Receptionist" spell!!

24hr duration....dressed as inappropriately as you desire...the summoned receptionist takes notes and says "yes sir" in a very sultry tone when appropriate.

11:07 AM Mr. Silver

Drops her pencil as willed

11:07 AM Mr. Gray

Hehe! Bonus!!

11:22 AM Mr. Gray

"Raegar's Hallucinatory Harem" spell!!

11:23 AM Mr. Silver

AKA: “Raegar's 'F- the Hero's Feast spell, I've Got A Harem' Spell”

11:23 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

11:26 AM Mr. Gray

"I just don’t get it...that wizard never leaves his room. He just keeps saying something about fine tuning a few spells, and giggling!"

11:40 AM Mr. Green

LOL

Day 122 - Did The Kid In Yu-Gi-Oh Ever Win A Match?, The Only Mars We're Colonizing In The 21st Century Is In Pennsylvania, And I Pick Luigi In A Lamborghini,

8:13 AM Mr. Brown

Well good morning

I did not get to watch anything interesting this morning.  Brown Jr. was up.

8:20 AM Mr. Silver

Ah well...I usually just poke around Digg articles until I leave.

AM TV was getting irritating; I could never finish any shows before work.

8:20 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah, that’s the only thing that sucks; you get interested but can't finish.

8:20 AM Mr. Silver

I think Yu-Gi-Oh was the show that finished me off watching morning TV.

Not that it was a particularly great show, but I kept not seeing the stupid kid win matches.

I mean, I assume he won them all, but I never saw the end of any of the episodes

8:22 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah, he pretty much did. Or if he lost, he got to play the opponent again at some point and then win.

8:46 AM Mr. Silver

I'd say good for him, except he was a cheater and possessed by a skilled player.

8:46 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah.

8:47 AM Mr. Silver

"Ha ha!  You WOULD have beat my newbie butt if it weren't for my ringer's skill and this magic artifact!"

(best friend) "You suck Yugi"

(other best friend) "Yeah...you play like a little kid that the grown-ups let get away with sh-t."

9:03 AM Mr. Silver

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/11/landing-on-mars/

Rough...I never noticed. We've been scammed by Popular Science 60s fantasies all this time.

"We just have to get there and we'll terraform and stuff!  It'll be awesome!"

9:11 AM Mr. Silver

We can forget that whole "Transform and live in Mar's atmosphere" thing.

9:11 AM Mr. Blue

Why's that? (still reading)

9:11 AM Mr. Silver

It's the pressure and density of Earth's atmosphere at 100000'...AKA “nearly no atmosphere”.

9:12 AM Mr. Blue

The Moon is worse, right?

9:12 AM Mr. Silver

The Moon has no atmosphere at all, yes.

9:14 AM Mr. Brown

Hmm. So the issue is always slowing things down while landing them.

9:15 AM Mr. Blue

But that's also a positive. It makes leaving Mars much easier.

9:22 AM Mr. Blue

Doesn't it take like 2 years to get to Mars? That still seems like the biggest challenge.

Once there they can hop off and head back home relatively easily.

9:23 AM Mr. Brown

Well, they are also saying they would have to use people that would be ok with ending up with cancer due to the radiation they would receive out there.

9:23 AM Mr. Blue

I’m sure they could find volunteers.

Christopher Columbus and Magellan had to find crew that were OK with possibly dying at sea.

9:25 AM Mr. Silver

I think the people back in the 1500s were more desensitized to daily death on the job while relatively young than we are.

9:26 AM Mr. Silver

"Death lugging crates on the dock, or death going on an adventure?  Eh...I've never been on an adventure.  What the heck?"

9:26 AM Mr. Blue

Heheh

"Cancer on Earth or cancer on Mars?"

9:27 AM Mr. Silver

Very good...if the chances were approximately the same, volunteers would be easy.

9:27 AM Mr. Silver

We should figure out the expected lifespan of life on Mars, and pick people that are that sick to go.

"You've got 5 years...and that's generous.  How's an adventure to Mars sound?"

9:29 AM Mr. Blue

I think what makes more sense, rather than just shooting people straight off to Mars, is to slowly sort of build a highway towards Mars. Put space stations in our orbit, or possibly further out, that can act like rest stops along the way. Then one or two in Mar's orbit.

9:30 AM Mr. Silver

I had this conversation many years ago.

I personally don't think we should go further than orbit at all until we develop some better technology.

9:31 AM Mr. Blue

Why?

9:32 AM Mr. Silver

I described the Moon and Mars as other islands in a sea, one very near, one really far.

We can swim in the "sea near the shore"...orbital space...without much trouble.

But we had to paddle on a log canoe to the Moon and back.

9:32 AM Mr. Blue

Heh

9:33 AM Mr. Silver

The proposal of paddling on a log to Mars...WAY WAY out there? That is just dumb.

If we can invent a sailboat...then we can go.

You can invent a sailboat without leaving shore.

Test them with the “swimmers” in orbit.

The relay stations idea?  It's nothing but a lot of logs.

Each has a spare paddle and a bowl of rice on it. 

Don't bother.

9:37 AM Mr. Blue

I see them more as gas stations along a highway.

Or like, a railroad line. You can't just drive a train from point A to point B, you have to build the track and stations first.

9:37 AM Mr. Silver

Back up a bit. To get the stuff off of a log you sent out, your own log has to stop and pick it up. You have to make a lot of extra effort to get to one of those logs (decelerate and park a spaceship)

9:39 AM Mr. Blue

Stopping a train is simpler than docking at a space station, but it can be done.

9:40 AM Mr. Silver

The reason Earth to the Moon took 3 days is because they used most of the fuel to get moving like a bullet out of a gun until they got there, and then they used most of the rest to slow down.

9:40 AM Mr. Blue

Yes, and Mars actually takes some twists and turns.

9:40 AM Mr. Silver

To do what you'd want, you'd need to launch supply stations, moving nearly as fast as the ship, so the contents could be picked up as passed, in motion. You can't just stop and restart.  Completely impractical.

9:52 AM Mr. Brown

I saw on TV, for combating the gravity issue, they had devices that they would strap into and use centrifugal force to create gravity instead of rotating the whole ship.

9:57 AM Mr. Silver

Nod...a big enough ship to make the spin practical is, again, impractical on a "log".

Not that any of those exercise/motion methods seem to work.

10:24 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah. I wonder if a simple solution would just be like, steroids or HGH.

10:28 AM Mr. Silver

Perhaps they should just try high pressure...like divers...I've never heard of such.

10:28 AM Mr. Brown

Pressurize the capsules?

10:29 AM Mr. Silver

Yeah, like a lot more than 1 atmosphere.  It's not gravity, but it's an all-over stress, like gravity is, for the body to compensate for...it's just not unidirectional.

1:40 PM Mr. Blue

I finally got my X-Box fixed and got to play “Forza 4”... pretty sweet.

It's funny how much the game play is similar to super Mario Kart, really, just with much much much better graphics.

1:48 PM Mr. Silver

So, can you launch banana peels out the back of a BMW M5?

1:53 PM Mr. Silver

Does it show the repair cost for smashing into a packing crate with a big question mark on it?  (I'd like that feature, actually)

1:53 PM Mr. Blue

You do accumulate damage, and at the end of a race it's subtracted from your winnings.

1:54 PM Mr. Silver

Cool.

"The new 'Forza 4' now includes the "Argue with the insurance company" minigame!  get it today on X-Box!"