(**Disclaimer:
I am not anti-Islam. This segment is not about bashing the principles of innocent
believers. It is about discovery, assessment, and opinion of
“Truth”. I don't have any issues with the fully evolved religion
of a culture and how it is practiced today, but -- as an anthropologist with a prime interest in etiology -- I am very interested in their
origins. Let's just say I didn't seek out a pre-decided conclusion
or have any expectations about how this would play out. Unfortunately it went far worse than I
would have guessed. For that I am a sympathetic sorry. - Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Silver
So,
on the other side you got bounced from, Mr. Yellow got into this
scheme of making a Muslim comic book hero to make ISIS look like the
medieval twits they...are.
Ms.
Rose
Rose
likes talking in the 3rd person. She thinks everyone should start
doing it, for today.
Mr.
Silver
We
had somewhat different visions of the project as one might imagine.
Mr.
Yellow's...
...and
my good one.
Mr.
Silver
Anyway...
Ms.
Rose
I
can't imagine Muslims get a fair representation in the comic book
world.
I
mean, fair to them.
Mr.
Silver
Probably
not. But this point is, he was proposing origin story ideas and I
was investigating Islam and Mohammad...
I
knew a fair amount of things, but I'd never dived into Islam with
specific questions.
A
rather interesting comment that popped (recalling I get to read
single lines in Google searches here half the time) is that to
qualify as a prophet, one must actually prophesy things. And the opposing teams in the One True games seem to suggest Muhammad hasn't provided any.
Ms.
Rose
No!
Surely not!
Mr.
Silver
I
know! Anyway, so that led to me trying to find any sort of...you know...list.
Prophesies...success
rate...
Wasn't
going too well...opinions seemed to be mixed but most seemed to be
predictions ABOUT him coming.
So
I changed tactics and hit the wiki of the guy himself to learn more.
(reading)
"Blah blah...birth...job...cave...Here we are...1st
revelation"
Now...
This
is the man who came to restore the one true literal faith of Abraham
as God intended and that God personally wrote about in the Old
Testament...right?
(paste
of 1st revelation)
--
“Proclaim!
(or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created-
Created
man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood:
Proclaim!
And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-
Who
taught (the use of) the pen,-
Taught
man that which he knew not.”
--
(me)
"Errr...that's actually wrong."
Mr.
Blue
Wasn't
Adam created out of dust?
Mr.
Silver
THE
- literal - grand high Old Testament, written by the Hand
of God
says zip about congealed blood, but does clearly say 'clay'.
Clay,
dust, dirt, smutz...in this case it doesn't matter.
Because
you can't even be creative with the languages and get 'blob of
congealed blood' out of Genesis, and Islam venerates the Bible.
Is
A
Fraud
As revealed in the words of the vision that got him declared a prophet...even though it is not a prophesy.
Either
he, or God, or Gabriel, was wrong.
1. It
is theologically impossible that God was...
2. It
is theologically conceivable Gabriel was, in which case Gabriel was a
defiler and
Muhammad and all who followed were
victims of the scheme of a fallen angel.
3. It
is most likely Muhammad was delusional...or (wince) lied about the angel to achieve
his ends.
Even the BEST case scenario...delusion...invalidates him.
Mr.
Blue
Technically,
Jesus is a fraud too.
Not
even "technically". He is bogus.
So
if it's real at all, the only legitimate Abrahamic religion is
Judaism.
Mr.
Silver
There
are all kinds of good words out there for bogus, and Judaism has it's own problems, but I was getting to
something related to that.
After
more poking around, I thought it was interesting that - in their
apocalypse story - the guy who shows up at the end to save Islam at
the last battle is not Muhammad, but Jesus.
Mr.
Amethyst
Buddha
is my dude.
Mr.
Brown
Jesus
is kinda like Buddha: be good to all things
Judaism
is one of the originals
The
Jews were the ones that turned on Jesus in the stories.
They
got pissed at him for what he was doing and had him killed.
Mr.
Blue
Because
he was a false prophet according to the Jews.
Mr.
Brown
I
would say his values were good.
Mr.
Blue
So
are mine. There is no need for 1 billion people to worship me
though.
Mr.
Brown
That
is the strangest part about it though, the Jews turning on him: How
could it come to that?
Mr.
Silver
You
need to hang out at Sunday School for a couple weeks. You sure
you're actually Christian, Mr. Brown?
Back
to Islam though. How disappointing it will be at the end.
(Leader
of the last 5000 looking at calm faced man in ancient clothes,
weaponless. Reads note the man hands him)
"Dear
faithful! Good job! As promised, I sent our second string prophet
for the last battle despite my decade of military experience! He's a
bit scrawny and doesn't know a thing about strategy or combat. But a
prophesy is a prophesy, right? He agreed to bring the bright
horse, flaming sword and silver breastplate but said he won't use
them...something about humility. - M"
(Leader
of the last 5000 looks at celestial horse with holy weapons bundled
on it)
"P.S.
Turns out on top of his inexperience that he's a total pacifist. Not
sure how you're gonna win a war at this point unless he actually is
the Son of God and I just had a brain fart insisting he wasn't. Good
luck, guys!"
Mr.
Brown
God
is not pacifist. Hehe.
“I
make them, I tell you to kill them, and then I'll make others to kill
you.”
Mr.
Silver
Well,
that's God though.
There
was not a lot of war talk from his kid, though.
(In
fact, I could only find a single quote. It has been rationalized to support the
notion that Jesus was not anti-war. Unfortunately for the people who
desperately want it to be true, it says nothing that would support
the argument whatsoever. - Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Brown
Nope.
He doesn't want to be that way.
“Yeah,
Dad, I know I can just create stuff out of nothing and destroy it at
will, but I would rather keep the stuff that's already there and
teach it not to kill itself and others.
Like
most people say: God has a strange sense of humor.
Did
I spell that right?
Mr.
Silver
Hard
to say...which word? (At this point I regretted cleaning up Mr.
Brown's text. - Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Brown
Humor
Mr.
Silver
As
in “ha ha”? Yes.
(Final
notes: In editing this at home and with high hopes for an interesting read, I decided to look into this 'list of
Muhammad's prophesies' idea again and found this page –
http://www.answering-christianity.com/prophecies_by_prophet_muhammad.htm.
I read through most of them before giving up close to the end in
frustration. In light of the degree of rationalization required to
make almost all of these (often theologically-irrelevant) prophesies “true”, as well as recent
scientific findings that parts of the Koran predate the man given
credit for the work, AND the glaring error that prompted me to
continue this investigation, my opinion of Islam and their big man is
sliding rapidly to the level of Mormonism and Joseph Smith. Somehow I failed to prophesy this happening. – Mr.
Silver)
Mr.
Brown
What
ear lobes are.
Mr.
Silver
Decorative,
apparently.
Mr.
Brown
I
lost my cucumber.
Mr.
Amethyst
That's
not ok.
Mr.
Brown
I
like finishing these sentences.
You
should put some salt on that and dance a polka.
Mr.
Silver
Thanks
for the new anthropological ponder, Mr. Brown.
Earlobes...
Ears
are not exactly attractive things.
Yet
we've been selecting for useless earlobes to stay stuck on for a
bazillion generations.
Ms.
Rose
Lobes
that are too big are as equally creepy as those lobes that are, like,
nonexistent and smooshed into your head. (That's the medical
terminology...)
Mr.
Silver
These
things on our heads, the ears that we hide under hair and such, don't
look right without the lobes.
Conclusion?
“Mama likes a nice set a 'lobes'.”
We
even attach crap to 'em.
Ms.
Rose
Like
my 11 ear piercings?
Mr.
Brown
I
had my ear pierced twice, before I had surgery on that side of my
face. It caused my whole ear to go numb until it healed. Now it
feels weird and can have exacerbated pain.
Mr.
Amethyst
I
had 3.
I
have 0 holes now.
Mr.
Blue
All
my holes stayed.
Mr.
Amethyst
I
want to redo my tongue and … breasticles.
Ms.
Rose
I've
had all 11 of my ear piercing since I was 13, at the latest. The
tongue's been there since I was 15. It was so damn cool in 1995.
But now I sometimes feel weird knowing it's been there for 20 years.
:-/
Yes...1995
was 20 years ago. I know, right?!
Mr.
Brown
I
had a cartilage piercing and a lobe piercing.
I
got the lobe to show my sister it did not hurt.
Ms.
Rose
I
have a 1.5" industrial through my top right ear.
Mr.
Blue
My
ears were pierced at 7, no nipples (not ever).
Ms.
Rose
My
first ear piercing was done before I was 1 because I had a weird
aunt. She insisted on the 'ol piercing gun. Everything since then
was done with a needle.
Mr.
Amethyst
I
did my cartilage with a safety pin...did my lip with a thumb tack.
Mr.
Brown
My
cousin pierced her own tongue. Messed it up too.
Hehe
Mr.
Blue
Yeah,
I wouldn't wanna mess with that. Your tongue is important.
Mr.
Amethyst
Yeah,
I'd never want to try my own tongue.
Mr.
Brown
I'm
not sure how somebody would come up with a Prince Albert. That's
just not right.
Ms.
Rose
I
passed out twice when they did my tongue. My mom had to be there to
sign for me since I was a minor. She was kind of upset watching her
daughter hit the floor with a pokey needle in her mouth.
Mr.
Amethyst
Eww
I
lost a bet with Mrs. Amethyst and had to get mine done. I'd do it
again, but mine closed in like a day of taking it out.
Mr.
Brown
Tongues
heal fast. Its important they do.
Mr.
Amethyst
Yeah,
but after a year it should have lasted at least 2-3 days, you's
think.
I
have Wolverine's tongue.
Mr.
Brown
I
am happy that you did not lose a bet and have to get a Prince Albert.
That would be a pretty big one to lose.
Hehe
Mr.
Amethyst
Yeah...you
gotta be hard for that, and there’s no way I could after seeing
that needle.
Mr.
Silver
(Scribbling in anthropologist notebook like a madman
trying to keep up) "The female subject seems to have initiated
some form of escalating competition between the males I call Bobo and
Mohawk..."
Mr.
Brown
Let's
attach something through this, here, so it can get ripped off easier.
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
@Mr. Silver
Mr.
Brown
Attach
a bell to it.
Ding
ding! “Time to play!”
Mr.
Amethyst
A
whole new meaning to "My Dingaling"
Mr.
Brown
Haahahahaa
Mr.
Amethyst
OMG!
I'll tattoo "Ring bell for service" above it!
Mr.
Brown
Ouch!!
I
know somebody has to have a “Pump Action” tattoo.
That
has to be something on a wall in a parlor somewhere.
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Silver
(scribbling)
"Petunia and Hockey participated early but backed off when the
other two escalated from hanging bananas from their ears and went to
fight over the Jerry cans on my Range Rover."
Ms.
Rose
Bwwwahahaha!
"Petunia"
But
please, tell me you don't think of me as Petunia Pig. I'd have to
stab myself in the eye. (To die, not to pierce it...)
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
This
is amazing research!
Mr.
Silver
(scribbling)
"The pain must truly be horrific, but Mohawk is bravely claiming
the bamboo slivers don't hurt. Bobo is escalating the challenge to
piranha attached to the buttocks."
“Mohawk
has accepted."
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
