326 - Spaceketball, "The Something Like Science With Mr. Blue Show", Some Memorable Holiday Mam-...Memories, and "What Would Happen If A Megalomaniac Director Met An Unfilmable Script? -- Orson Welles"

11:56 AM Mr. Brown

Ok guys, any thoughts on the Roswell Rock?

11:59 AM Mr. Silver

There is a special rock in Roswell?

11:59 AM Ms. Rose

I'm sorry, I'm way behind. WTF is 'Roswell Rock'?

12:02 PM Mr. Silver

Maybe it's like Schoolhouse Rock for aliens.

12:03 PM Mr. Brown

http://glasstonestudio.com/blog/?page_id=402

12:03 PM Mr. Silver

"I'm Just a Probe"

"Hyperspace Conjunction Junction"

"Motherbrain Necessity"

12:03 PM Mr. Brown

It’s a hoax.

But it was on TV with that crazy (Hands up) ALIENS guy with the high hair, so I decided to look up the hoax.

“We are a very advanced civilization from space, smarter than you. See my rock?”

12:06 PM Mr. Silver

You know how I love me some advanced alien rocks...

"No one but a person who has a laser etching system can tell how it was carved."

They cut diamonds with lasers...a piece of lodestone wouldn't be much of a chore.

12:16 PM Mr. Blue

Heh… I just Googled "crazy aliens guy"

First result is him: Giorgio Tsoukalos

Wow! The first 3 pages are him.

12:18 PM Mr. Blue

Tsoukalos is a 1998 graduate of Ithaca College in Ithaca, New York, with a bachelor's degree in sports information and communication.

So he's perfectly qualified to discuss ancient aliens.

12:18 PM Ms. Rose

Professor Tsoukalos is a god among men. At least that's what my dad says.

12:18 PM Mr. Brown

Yes. Yes he is.

12:18 PM Ms. Rose

All of his power comes from his hair. Like Samson.

12:18 PM Mr. Brown

He will be able to discuss their offensive and defensive play statistics when they come to town and attack the local ball teams.

12:21 PM Mr. Silver

(Tsoukalos) "Then, in 1974, the Air Force’s Project Bluebook agents double dribbled the data."

12:19 PM Mr. Blue

Be sure to check out my new show on the National Geographic Channel: “Quantum and Particle Physics with Mr. Blue”

12:21 PM Mr. Brown

People would watch that.

“I created a egg-celerator. It whips eggs at a wall. Boom! SCIENCE!”

singing "THIS IS LIKE SCIENCE WITH MR. BLUE"

12:25 PM Ms. Rose

"This Is Science--With Mr. Blue"

12:25 PM Mr. Silver

"Lets see what happens!" Starring Mr. Blue!

12:25 PM Mr. Blue

*cut to shot of me looking startled by camera* “Uhh... quantum means like... fast or light maybe? And particles are like... little things I guess.. very tiny. And physics is like physical stuff.”

12:27 PM Mr. Blue

*me sweating* "Anyway, today on the show we're going to uhh... find out what happens... (fumbling in box of stuff) if you put this nitrogen and gasoline together!"

12:27 PM Mr. Brown

“I’m going to show you how atoms collide.” (pans to structure with two shotguns rigged facing each other.)

12:28 PM Mr. Silver

"This is a demonstration of the...umm...Hindenburg Uncertainty Principle. I'm really not certain what's gonna happen when I set off all the hydrogen in here. AKA the 'Oh The Humanity' test. OK...the kids are telling me the Principal has left the building, so here we go with the...uh...Hindenburg thing. (hits button fwooOOM!) “AWESOME!"

12:33 PM Mr. Silver

(what a mess...lot of editing to keep this stuff)

12:34 PM Ms. Rose

Editing? Who said 'editing'? The 'Preditor' is on the loose. Rawr.

12:38 PM Mr. Silver

(smacks hand) "My blog! Down!"

7:05 AM Mr. Silver

Happy Mrs. Silver's Birthday.

Everyone decorate a tree?

7:06 AM Mr. Green

LOL

No tree.

7:06 AM Mr. Brown

NOPE

I don't even have lights up yet.

7:06 AM Mr. Silver

I'll lie for you.

7:09 AM Mr. Silver

So I ran across this one from Dec 28 2011 this morning:

(Agent with one of the old crap tablets) "I just don't get it. There's no period to put in the email. You know, there's dashes."

(me, singing in my head) "and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen..."

(her) "and commas"

(me) "and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen..."

(her) "and semicolons and stuff, but I can't find a period on this thing."

7:15 AM Mr. Silver

Didn't even have to make it up as a goof...it really happened.

7:22 AM Mr. Silver

Anyway, my Thanksgiving was pretty good. 

I don't usually collapse under the weight of the feast.

But I did.

8:09 AM Mr. Silver

Did I hear right that someone left the TV on a Skin-emax feature during your Thanksgiving, Mr. Brown?

8:10 AM Mr. Brown

No, that happened one time when I was a kid.

LOL

8:15 AM Mr. Silver

Hehe

"What are they doing? Uh...They're...basting the turkey."

8:32 AM Mr. Blue

Watched Touch of Evil and Zero Theorem.

Zero Theorem is definitely Gilliam-esque.

I liked both.

8:44 AM Mr. Silver

Can something be Gilliam-esque if Gilliam directed it?

8:47 AM Mr. Silver

So what was Touch of Evil?

"The Michael Jackson Story"?

Too late?

8:47 AM Mr. Blue

Heh

No, the one with Heston and Orson Welles with the really long tracking shot opener.

8:47 AM Mr. Blue

It was good... classic noir stuff with snappy dialogue and great acting.

8:49 AM Mr. Silver

Cool

8:49 AM Mr. Blue

Heston, Welles, Vivienne Leigh. I even spotted Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Apparently though, the final version isn't what Welles had in mind. The studio cut it up and did re-shoots without him. It was hard for me to tell what was re-shot and what was original.

The story about it is that Welles went to some studio exec that had a pile of unused scripts and he said "gimme the worst one" to prove he can make any script into a good film.

He also let the actors rewrite their own lines as they saw fit.

9:21 AM Mr. Silver

Studio exec "How's that movie going I made the bet with Welles about? 'Touch of Pudding'?"

Flunky "It's a disaster sir. Orson has been drunk for about a week."

Studio exec "Good...arrogant bastard.
9:30 AM Mr. Blue

That's funny, cuz he plays a fat drunk in the movie. And the first time he shows up on screen people are like "boy...you don't look too good", and I was saying the same thing.

9:30 AM Mr. Silver

Doesn't even realize they were filming him and cutting him in...he thought he was directing...

9:31 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

He keeps asking for drinks and food and candy too. The camera just happened to be rolling.

9:31 AM Mr. Silver

Hehe

9:32 AM Mr. Blue

It's hard to tell how much of it is him, and whether or not he's got some outfit on to make him look fatter.

I know he got big near the end but this was only 17 years after Citizen Kane, he was pretty fit in that.

9:34 AM Mr. Silver

(whispering) "Mr. Welles...we're still tracking but we're way off script with this opening shot. They can only walk past the car so many times.  Its starting to get weird. What are we going for here, sir? Mr. Welles?"

"ZzzzzzZZZzz...."

9:35 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_Peas

9:36 AM Mr. Silver

(legit LOL)

Yay “frozen peas”!

9:36 AM Mr. Blue

*IN* July....

Welles: Why? That doesn't make any sense. Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with "in" and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July" and I'll... go down on you.

9:40 AM Mr. Silver

Even funnier actually listening to him.

9:41 AM Mr. Blue

Ever see the wine commercial? He's sloshed.

9:41 AM Mr. Silver

No, didn't see that one.

9:41 AM Mr. Blue

Paul Masson

9:42 AM Mr. Silver

Oh that's right

There's footage of him hammered, huh?  Have to search that one.

9:45 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah

Just search Orson Welles wine. It's right there.

325 - Pumping Kleenex, A Docterate Im Engish Mistaks, and Ms. Rose Is Released Into The Wild And Holds Her Own

Mr. Brown

Cool. I called the doctor and he ordered me antibiotics and steroids.

I’ve had a lot of sinus pressure.

I know that’s what the roids are for.

2:26 PM Mr. Blue

Not fun steroids, unfortunately.

2:27 PM Mr. Brown

Nope.

2:29 PM Mr. Silver

"Duu-hu-hu-huude! Your nose is huge! Awesome! What's your workout?"

2:30 PM Mr. Blue

"How much can ya sneeze?"

2:30 PM Mr. Silver

"How many PSI do you blow, Dude?"

2:34 PM Mr. Blue

"I’d like to prescribe you some steroids."

"Great! I’ll take two vials of Decca, some Tren and a Clenbuterol inhaler please."

"…Corticosteroids, sir."

"Oh! Right."

2:34 PM Mr. Brown

LOL

Ms. Rose

OMG! There's a typo in the praise email I just sent. *hangs head in shame*

12:14 PM Mr. Silver

“Typo!?!?! Your fired!”

"It's 'you're', sir."

"Yor fird MORE!"

Sorry you had a poppy weekend.

12:15 PM Ms. Rose

It hurts. Ouch. It's like a knife in my heart! I want to magically retract and resend. Uggggghhhhhhhh....!

12:15 PM Mr. Silver

“Poopy”, eaven

You're making me type like this now.

12:16 PM Ms. Rose

Yes, a poppy weekend. We got high on opium poppies all weekend. LOL

12:16 PM Mr. Silver

Not a bad weekend...but a lost one.

12:16 PM Ms. Rose

Do you SEE the typo?! Did you find it?! I am soooooo embarassed.

12:16 PM Mr. Silver

Was it in the word embarrassed?

12:17 PM Ms. Rose

Shit. 'Embarrassed' has two 'R's?!

No, the misspelling in my praise email is much worse.

12:20 PM Mr. Silver

Breathe!

Dare I ask you to paste it in here?

12:23 PM Ms. Rose

Check your email.

12:25 PM Mr. Silver

I set all those emails to be sent to (cough) “storage” years ago.

(Reads…)

(Sings) "Someday my experince will come...som day ill find somone!"

12:27 PM Ms. Rose

Should I apologize to Dot for the typo in her praise?

12:27 PM Mr. Silver

She'll probably never notice.

12:30 PM Mr. Silver

You'll never survive chatting with Mr. Brown if you're going to hang in our chat.

12:33 PM Ms. Rose

Neurotic is my middle name. I'm slowly calming down and moving on from this typo. (breathing)

12:33 PM Mr. Silver

Good. (rolls eyes… “English majors...”)

12:37 PM Mr. Silver

I was going to go in for English, but I wanted something practical, so went for anthropology and archaeology.

...

(sigh)

12:39 PM Ms. Rose

Wow, very cool. Where'd you go to school and what fancy piece of paper did you earn? (And I have to ask because I am nosy and rude...) How much debt?

12:40 PM Mr. Silver

College State University.

The piece of paper I earned came in monthly installments and was mostly reports about how much I owed.

Never finished...process drove me (literally) crazy, twice.

Not that many credits to go, on review. Sad. But I'm too broke and too employed to do much about it.

12:45 PM Ms. Rose

I am quite bitter about the whole college concept. It's a mess, always. I have an official piece of paper (BLA) and it's costing me $47k (roughly).

11:04 AM Mr. Silver

Morning Ms. Rose.

Let see how soon you flee now that you are in regular population.

Where do YOU stand on The Krampus?

11:04 AM Mr. Blue

*polishes pitchfork*

11:04 AM Ms. Rose

Um...good morning? *shifty eyes*

11:04 AM Mr. Silver

Just keep your hands and face away from their mouths.

You'll do fine.

11:05 AM Mr. Silver

So we've been talking about terrorizing the local children during the Christmas parade for years now.

5? 8?

We never do it.

11:06 AM Ms. Rose

So you are literally planning to rain on someone's parade? Epic.

11:20 AM Mr. Amethyst

When did you get here!?

11:23 AM Ms. Rose

I normally hear that question at the bar...

Hello there, Mr. Amethyst! How goes the historic battle fighting stuff? (What's the word...?)

11:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

It goes.

Well, not recently.

But it went!

11:24 AM Ms. Rose

Too cold to wear chainmail and wield giant sword-axes, yeah? I hear ya...

11:24 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL. Really, it’s just time off til January.

11:24 AM Mr. Brown

Too cold to be cracked on the knuckles.

11:27 AM Mr. Amethyst

Hockey gloves work awesome for that.

11:29 AM Ms. Rose

I’m trying to think of other good uses for hockey gloves...

Picture someone trying to make breakfast while wearing hockey gloves. Tee hee!

11:30 AM Mr. Brown

Taking hockey stick cookies outta the oven. Brushing teeth in the morning.

11:31 AM Ms. Rose

HA!

11:33 AM Mr. Silver

"These pancakes are like hockey pucks!"

"Thanks!"

11:33 AM Mr. Brown

Let’s leave it to the imagination about using the restroom wearing hockey gloves. That’s a game by itself.

11:33 AM Mr. Amethyst

I once beat Tony at NHL on X-Box 360 while wearing hockey gloves.

11:34 AM Mr. Blue

My friend drove from Schenley to Cranberry wearing a goalie mask and blocker/glove.

11:35 AM Mr. Brown

Seat belt broken?

11:35 AM Mr. Blue

Nah, just goofing around.

11:35 AM Mr. Amethyst

I went to the bar one Halloween dressed in full goalie gear. That was a blast.

11:37 AM Mr. Brown

"Go ahead, hit me. I won't feel it"

11:39 AM Mr. Amethyst

Yup.

11:40 AM Mr. Brown

Let’s just say, dressing as a Nazi for church is a bad idea.

11:41 AM Mr. Silver

And we had to find that out the hard way, didn't we, Mr. Brown?

11:41 AM Ms. Rose

I went to an all-female college and they had a hockey team. I decided to join, having never skated on ice before and armed only with the hockey knowledge my dad taught me while watching games growing up. But I was convinced I was the next Brodeur. I went to one practice, took a puck to the face, and never tried to play again.

True story.

Hockey is best enjoyed from the safety of my couch.

11:45 AM Ms. Rose

I would so love to be a professional hockey player. And a drummer for a metal band. And a professional sky diver. (Am I revealing too much during my inaugural chat invite?)

11:45 AM Mr. Silver

...I wanted to be a wizard...relax.

11:46 AM Mr. Brown

So do you believe the sun has a solid core or its more molten metal?

Yeah, relax.

I’m the crazy one.

11:47 AM Mr. Silver

The overtly crazy one, anyway.

11:47 AM Mr. Amethyst

^

11:47 AM Mr. Silver

Mr. Blue and I are the quiet types from the news. Mr. Amethyst, you already know about.

11:49 AM Ms. Rose

The sun is actually filled with marshmallow. This is a scientific fact.

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

Better than some of the theories in here. Please explain?

11:50 AM Mr. Brown

Good, then my Jello ship will make it through the middle.

11:50 AM Mr. Amethyst

Jello < marshmallow

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

There's no layer of chocolate and graham cracker, is there?

11:50 AM Mr. Amethyst

S’mores sun....

Hmmmmm.

Can we prospect the sun for giant s’mores?

11:52 AM Mr. Silver

Please, no.

11:59 AM Ms. Rose

YouTube the video for the manufacturing process of marshmallow Peeps. (You know, the mainly Easter candy that nobody ever eats, except me.) The Just Born factory produces marshmallow Peeps in a very similar way to how our sun was created.