325 - Pumping Kleenex, A Docterate Im Engish Mistaks, and Ms. Rose Is Released Into The Wild And Holds Her Own

Mr. Brown

Cool. I called the doctor and he ordered me antibiotics and steroids.

I’ve had a lot of sinus pressure.

I know that’s what the roids are for.

2:26 PM Mr. Blue

Not fun steroids, unfortunately.

2:27 PM Mr. Brown

Nope.

2:29 PM Mr. Silver

"Duu-hu-hu-huude! Your nose is huge! Awesome! What's your workout?"

2:30 PM Mr. Blue

"How much can ya sneeze?"

2:30 PM Mr. Silver

"How many PSI do you blow, Dude?"

2:34 PM Mr. Blue

"I’d like to prescribe you some steroids."

"Great! I’ll take two vials of Decca, some Tren and a Clenbuterol inhaler please."

"…Corticosteroids, sir."

"Oh! Right."

2:34 PM Mr. Brown

LOL

Ms. Rose

OMG! There's a typo in the praise email I just sent. *hangs head in shame*

12:14 PM Mr. Silver

“Typo!?!?! Your fired!”

"It's 'you're', sir."

"Yor fird MORE!"

Sorry you had a poppy weekend.

12:15 PM Ms. Rose

It hurts. Ouch. It's like a knife in my heart! I want to magically retract and resend. Uggggghhhhhhhh....!

12:15 PM Mr. Silver

“Poopy”, eaven

You're making me type like this now.

12:16 PM Ms. Rose

Yes, a poppy weekend. We got high on opium poppies all weekend. LOL

12:16 PM Mr. Silver

Not a bad weekend...but a lost one.

12:16 PM Ms. Rose

Do you SEE the typo?! Did you find it?! I am soooooo embarassed.

12:16 PM Mr. Silver

Was it in the word embarrassed?

12:17 PM Ms. Rose

Shit. 'Embarrassed' has two 'R's?!

No, the misspelling in my praise email is much worse.

12:20 PM Mr. Silver

Breathe!

Dare I ask you to paste it in here?

12:23 PM Ms. Rose

Check your email.

12:25 PM Mr. Silver

I set all those emails to be sent to (cough) “storage” years ago.

(Reads…)

(Sings) "Someday my experince will come...som day ill find somone!"

12:27 PM Ms. Rose

Should I apologize to Dot for the typo in her praise?

12:27 PM Mr. Silver

She'll probably never notice.

12:30 PM Mr. Silver

You'll never survive chatting with Mr. Brown if you're going to hang in our chat.

12:33 PM Ms. Rose

Neurotic is my middle name. I'm slowly calming down and moving on from this typo. (breathing)

12:33 PM Mr. Silver

Good. (rolls eyes… “English majors...”)

12:37 PM Mr. Silver

I was going to go in for English, but I wanted something practical, so went for anthropology and archaeology.

...

(sigh)

12:39 PM Ms. Rose

Wow, very cool. Where'd you go to school and what fancy piece of paper did you earn? (And I have to ask because I am nosy and rude...) How much debt?

12:40 PM Mr. Silver

College State University.

The piece of paper I earned came in monthly installments and was mostly reports about how much I owed.

Never finished...process drove me (literally) crazy, twice.

Not that many credits to go, on review. Sad. But I'm too broke and too employed to do much about it.

12:45 PM Ms. Rose

I am quite bitter about the whole college concept. It's a mess, always. I have an official piece of paper (BLA) and it's costing me $47k (roughly).

11:04 AM Mr. Silver

Morning Ms. Rose.

Let see how soon you flee now that you are in regular population.

Where do YOU stand on The Krampus?

11:04 AM Mr. Blue

*polishes pitchfork*

11:04 AM Ms. Rose

Um...good morning? *shifty eyes*

11:04 AM Mr. Silver

Just keep your hands and face away from their mouths.

You'll do fine.

11:05 AM Mr. Silver

So we've been talking about terrorizing the local children during the Christmas parade for years now.

5? 8?

We never do it.

11:06 AM Ms. Rose

So you are literally planning to rain on someone's parade? Epic.

11:20 AM Mr. Amethyst

When did you get here!?

11:23 AM Ms. Rose

I normally hear that question at the bar...

Hello there, Mr. Amethyst! How goes the historic battle fighting stuff? (What's the word...?)

11:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

It goes.

Well, not recently.

But it went!

11:24 AM Ms. Rose

Too cold to wear chainmail and wield giant sword-axes, yeah? I hear ya...

11:24 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL. Really, it’s just time off til January.

11:24 AM Mr. Brown

Too cold to be cracked on the knuckles.

11:27 AM Mr. Amethyst

Hockey gloves work awesome for that.

11:29 AM Ms. Rose

I’m trying to think of other good uses for hockey gloves...

Picture someone trying to make breakfast while wearing hockey gloves. Tee hee!

11:30 AM Mr. Brown

Taking hockey stick cookies outta the oven. Brushing teeth in the morning.

11:31 AM Ms. Rose

HA!

11:33 AM Mr. Silver

"These pancakes are like hockey pucks!"

"Thanks!"

11:33 AM Mr. Brown

Let’s leave it to the imagination about using the restroom wearing hockey gloves. That’s a game by itself.

11:33 AM Mr. Amethyst

I once beat Tony at NHL on X-Box 360 while wearing hockey gloves.

11:34 AM Mr. Blue

My friend drove from Schenley to Cranberry wearing a goalie mask and blocker/glove.

11:35 AM Mr. Brown

Seat belt broken?

11:35 AM Mr. Blue

Nah, just goofing around.

11:35 AM Mr. Amethyst

I went to the bar one Halloween dressed in full goalie gear. That was a blast.

11:37 AM Mr. Brown

"Go ahead, hit me. I won't feel it"

11:39 AM Mr. Amethyst

Yup.

11:40 AM Mr. Brown

Let’s just say, dressing as a Nazi for church is a bad idea.

11:41 AM Mr. Silver

And we had to find that out the hard way, didn't we, Mr. Brown?

11:41 AM Ms. Rose

I went to an all-female college and they had a hockey team. I decided to join, having never skated on ice before and armed only with the hockey knowledge my dad taught me while watching games growing up. But I was convinced I was the next Brodeur. I went to one practice, took a puck to the face, and never tried to play again.

True story.

Hockey is best enjoyed from the safety of my couch.

11:45 AM Ms. Rose

I would so love to be a professional hockey player. And a drummer for a metal band. And a professional sky diver. (Am I revealing too much during my inaugural chat invite?)

11:45 AM Mr. Silver

...I wanted to be a wizard...relax.

11:46 AM Mr. Brown

So do you believe the sun has a solid core or its more molten metal?

Yeah, relax.

I’m the crazy one.

11:47 AM Mr. Silver

The overtly crazy one, anyway.

11:47 AM Mr. Amethyst

^

11:47 AM Mr. Silver

Mr. Blue and I are the quiet types from the news. Mr. Amethyst, you already know about.

11:49 AM Ms. Rose

The sun is actually filled with marshmallow. This is a scientific fact.

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

Better than some of the theories in here. Please explain?

11:50 AM Mr. Brown

Good, then my Jello ship will make it through the middle.

11:50 AM Mr. Amethyst

Jello < marshmallow

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

There's no layer of chocolate and graham cracker, is there?

11:50 AM Mr. Amethyst

S’mores sun....

Hmmmmm.

Can we prospect the sun for giant s’mores?

11:52 AM Mr. Silver

Please, no.

11:59 AM Ms. Rose

YouTube the video for the manufacturing process of marshmallow Peeps. (You know, the mainly Easter candy that nobody ever eats, except me.) The Just Born factory produces marshmallow Peeps in a very similar way to how our sun was created.