Friday, March 21, 2014

Day 285 - Chicago-Style Nausea, A Tall Warm Peps-Pee Cola, The BBC's Up-To-The-Millenium Reporting, Wisconsin Business Lobby To Demonstrate Benefits Of Collared/Chained Workers, Aliens Conquered The Earth A Long Time Ago, Drones Can Fly High, and Now We Know Why H.P. Lovecraft's Characters Could Never Describe What They Saw

Mr. Silver
So...yesterday's food adventure…
I'd heard about a “Chicago Style” hotdog before, even read up about them.
And finally ended up in a place that had them on the menu in town.
"Well well!  We meet at last."
The sum total of the experience, and the after effects, is "What the Hell is wrong with people in Chicago?"
2:03 PM Mr. Blue
Their pizzas are nasty too.
Fuckin' sauce on top... Get outta here with that shit.
2:06 PM Mr. Silver
Anyone else ever have a Chicago dog?
2:06 PM Mr. Blue
Never.  What's different about it?
2:07 PM Mr. Silver
Had pickles AND relish, tomato, onion, mustard, "sport peppers" (little bombs), and celery salt.
It was a 1/4 lb all beef hot dog, but was so loaded with condiments that I can't recall tasting the meat.
2:10 PM Mr. Brown
Basically they make a hoagie and add a hot dog?
2:10 PM Mr. Silver
As if...
The condiments were overpowering, and between the celery salt and peppers, really unpleasant.
"How did this ever become a thing?  How did it become a thing to be proud of?  Or did disgusted non-Chicago-residents name it after Chicago as an insult?"
3:14 PM Mr. Silver
Oh...final note about "sport peppers".  I had to painfully "sport" several times in the bathroom yesterday evening.



7:59 AM Mr. Yellow.
I heard this story on the radio on the way into work.
8:02 AM Mr. Yellow.
Ahhh.  Yes, Mr. Green, maybe it can cure you.
'I had diabetes, but ever since I have started drinking cow urine, my diabetes levels have been under control,' Jairam said.
8:05 AM Mr. Green
Good for him... I'll keep the diabetes, thank you.
8:05 AM Mr. Yellow.
Haha
8:56 AM Mr. Yellow.
Science seems to back up some of the diabetes claims but not the cancer.
9:04 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Gray!  Morning!  Feeling any better?  Your answer is virgin cow pee.  It's all so obvious now.
9:04 AM Mr. Gray
Morning....and no, still feeling crappy but here anyway.
Mr. Silver
"Try an ice-cold, refreshing glass of Peps-pee!  The Joy of Cowla"
9:20 AM Mr. Yellow.
Might fix what ails you, Mr. Gray
9:30 AM Mr. Gray
I'll pass.
9:30 AM Mr. Green
That was my reply too... heheh.
9:31 AM Mr. Green
I’d much rather stick myself with needles than drink cow urine.
9:31 AM Mr. Gray
Yep
I already throw up and run to the bathroom...I don’t need more of that, thanks.
9:31 AM Mr. Silver
What about cow urine IN the needles!?
9:31 AM Mr. Yellow.
Or in pill form?
Or a suppository?



Mr. Silver
I completely enjoyed this article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13626046
11:58 AM Mr. Silver
A whole piece on offensive slang I've rarely heard any of and only have the vaguest clue what some mean.
Mr. Blue
I think the general “Chav” stereotype is dead or dying.
That article is a few years old.
Mr. Silver
Wow...why was the BBC putting such an old article on their front page?!?
12:09 PM Mr. Silver
"In other breaking news, the warlord William of Normandy and his invading force have made first landfall on Saxon soil."
12:10 PM Mr. Blue
"Domesday surveyors coming to your door this spring."
12:14 PM Mr. Silver
"Tax, Point-of-Sword, or Fire being offered as exciting new options to English labor in coming year."
12:15 PM Mr. Blue
"Temperatures warming, GB-Europe land bridge disappearing."
12:22 PM Mr. Silver
"Serf & Turf Dept. – Have your priest read you this month’s 1 new exciting recipe for dry black bread and apples for the peasant bound-to-the-land. (Here’s a hint: its dry black bread and apples!)"



9:25 AM Mr. Silver
9:29 AM Mr. Blue
I think that'd just drive up the # of people mooching off welfare.
9:29 AM Mr. Amethyst
^
9:40 AM Mr. Silver
"The Business Lobby also proposes that employees be bound to employers as transferable assets, in a move that would be good for everyone who is an employer."
9:42 AM Mr. Silver
"Hiring, maintaining, and if-need-be firing of an employee is an expensive proposition in the current world of business.  If businesses had the legal right to sell an undesirable employee to another company, everyone (in business) would benefit."
9:55 AM Mr. Gray
Give the Republicans enough time....we'll be back to canceling day care and putting those little moochers to work too
9:55 AM Mr. Amethyst
Yeah! Down with those moochers!



Mr. Silver
Here we go: "Aliens Are Terrible Politicians, US Congress To Undergo Testing"
9:04 AM Mr. Silver
"US Swamp Gas To Enter Negotiations With Iran Swamp Gas Over Nuclear Policy"
9:04 AM Mr. Blue
Heh
9:12 AM Mr. Silver
"Tall White Aliens Choose Tall White Humans To Run Nazi Germany, USA, Just About Everything"
9:14 AM Mr. Silver
So if I'm tall and white, does that mean I'm an alien?
'cause honestly, I feel rather surrounded.
9:14 AM Mr. Brown
If “Tall White” includes goofy looking, then yes.
9:56 AM Mr. Gray
Ya know.....thinking about the Republicans.....maybe there is something to this "Tall Whites" thing.
Certainly explains Romney.
Bachman... Palin... Alien... Yeah, I'm seeing some connections here
9:56 AM Mr. Amethyst
I’m tall and white.
9:56 AM Mr. Gray
You are short and pale....not the same.
Tall = 6'+
If anything you are a half-breed.
9:57 AM Mr. Amethyst
I am 6'+
9:57 AM Mr. Gray
Suuuuuure you are.
I don’t see a tie on you... You’re not in a position of power... Nope, not a "Tall White".
Pale evolved monkey is best you get.
9:58 AM Mr. Amethyst
Oh
LOL
10:00 AM Mr. Silver
You aren't white enough.
10:00 AM Mr. Amethyst
From the waist up I am.  That’s 50%.
10:01 AM Mr. Silver
Half alien.
10:01 AM Mr. Gray
Again...Half-Breed
Yepper
Some "Tall White" wanted to get it on with a native. POOF...we have Mr. Amethyst.
10:02 AM Mr. Amethyst
LMAO
10:02 AM Mr. Gray
Alien "Well, he is pale...but I just can’t see him ever in a suit. Nope...not one of us."
10:02 AM Mr. Amethyst
I’ve worn a suit a few times but I prefer not to.
10:03 AM Mr. Gray
Worn one yes, but not "fit in", like the other suits.
10:04 AM Mr. Brown
I’m very white, including spots on my body that pigment has left which are even whiter.
LOL
10:05 AM Mr. Gray
We already KNOW you are an alien, Mr. Brown. No shocker there.
10:05 AM Mr. Brown
The problem is that I don't know.
LOL
They haven't come to tell me.
10:06 AM Mr. Gray
Deep cover operative...doesn’t know he is an alien.
10:06 AM Mr. Blue
Like Gonzo.
10:06 AM Mr. Gray
Exactly.
10:07 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Pink is an alien.
He says things that show he's not from here.
Its like he read about Earth stuff, but doesn't know it.
Like "Boba Fett wasn't a very popular character"
And "Who are Adam and Eve?"
10:09 AM Mr. Amethyst
LMAO
10:09 AM Mr. Gray
Yeah, Mr. Brown is a well-read alien as opposed to Mr. Pink.  Mr. Brown, however, is not a well-functioning one.
10:09 AM Mr. Brown
I was bread into a human to try and adapt I think.
10:09 AM Mr. Silver
A giant ground an Englishman’s bones to make him.
10:10 AM Mr. Brown
The big shocker is we are all aliens.
LOL
Well, not that big of a shocker, actually.
10:12 AM Mr. Silver
(Geneticist before the press) "And so, it turns out the last actual humans died out 10000 years ago, except for some isolated tribes."



Mr. Yellow.
You know, this article is crazy... If Amazon and other companies ever do drone delivery, then why not have your pot delivered to you from your dealer by drone?
2:17 PM Mr. Silver
That’s probably already happening.
2:22 PM Mr. Yellow.
Well, so far the ones that cost around $400 have a 135' range.
So your dealer better live next door.
But high end drones and the drug cartels...well, quite possible.
2:30 PM Mr. Silver
Yup
"Captain...we shot down a drone at the border." 
"Damn!"
"Oh, it's not one of ours, sir.  Its gold plated and has gemstone sugar skull decorations on it."
2:33 PM Mr. Yellow.
“Looks like 50 kilos of smack was strapped to the fuselage.”



(Sadly, the page we were making fun of is lost for all time.  It was an announcement about Frogwares new "next-gen" Call of Cthulhu game.  The pictures included were so dark and blurry that we couldn't help making fun, and they were up until about 2 days ago.  That being said - through the power of imagination...or looking the game up and squinting at screenshots in the dark...you can try to follow along with this - Mr. Silver)  
Mr. Gray
Frogwares to Release Next-Gen Call Of Cthulhu Game!
Mr. Silver
(Looks)
"Graphics programmed in Darkblurri-Vision."
1:41 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
Mr. Silver
H.P. Lovecraft's "The Lost Glasses Out In Darkness"
Mr. Gray
"It’s scary...it’s frightening....monsters and blindness.  We never would have thought to make a game like this!!!"
Mr. Silver
"When Death comes, you'll never see it coming...Christmas 2014" - Game Informer
"Finally, a stalking/horror computer game for our patrons." - Braille Times
2:25 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
"You play the role of a blind parapsychologist in the world’s most scary game. Graphics so unbelievable they can’t be shown!!"
2:28 PM Mr. Gray
"It was so realistic!" Stevie Wonder
2:28 PM Mr. Silver
Oooo!  (Ding!)
2:30 PM Mr. Gray
"Please adjust the brightness display of your monitor until the image disappears completely for the most realistic display."
2:33 PM Mr. Silver
(kids in commercial)
"'The Lost Glasses Out in Darkness' is the COOLEST!” 
“Yeah!” 
“Hey, what's that blob?” 
“The blob that must not be named!” 
“Really?” 
“No idea, I can't tell what it is.”
(Mom looking over at screen) “Aren’t there any lights in that game?” 
“Heck no!” 
(Kids give each other the ol’  “crazy parents” look.)
2:36 PM Mr. Gray
"You have fallen down a flight of stairs....2 lives left"
"You wandered into traffic....1 life left"
"You blindly wandered into a farmhouse owned by cultists.....0 lives left"
"Wow!  It's just like I'm a real blind person!  So challenging!"
2:37 PM Mr. Brown
Touched inappropriately and you don't know who it was.  Bonus points
2:38 PM Mr. Gray
"You've been touched inappropriately by someone and don’t know who it is...and they were slimy.  Lose another life, and gain one rank in INSANITY"
2:53 PM Mr. Gray
Apparently this conversation was too much for Mr. Brown and he fled.
3:04 PM Mr. Silver
Perhaps... Or maybe
The Blurry Darkness took him!  Ia!  Ia!  Cthulhu ftaghn!

at No comments:
Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)