Friday, September 28, 2012

Day 204 - Good Advice For Conquering A Light Meal, There's Time & There's Time, Fork!, How's The Air Up There?, "Dangerous & Devices" 3.5 Edition, Dirty Mouse Wants Bacon, and Have Your Blues & Eat Them Too

Mr. Yellow
I’ve been reading Sun Tzu's Art of War on lunch.
10:24 AM Mr. Silver
"Keep your friends close, but your Cheetos and Pepsi closer" Sun Tzu's Art of War on Lunch
10:35 AM Mr. Yellow
*nod*
3:18 PM Mr. Silver
So I worked out something about Time.
Sort of an example/comparison/analogy about what I bitch about with relativity.
Scientists are measuring the wrong thing.
3:26 PM Mr. Silver
These fluid relativistic measurements are "Variable" Time and are useful enough though invalid.
The comparison that hit me was it’s the same issue as Weight vs Mass.
Weight varies with gravity; from "none" to so massive it's a black hole.
Meanwhile Mass never changes with gravity.
The mess called “Time” in relativity changes.  It’s “Variable Time”
Real Time…”Absolute Time”, never changes.  A minute is a minute – any gravity, any speed, anywhere, any point of observation. 
3:33 PM Mr. Blue
I’m not following you
3:46 PM Mr. Silver
Real Time is like Mass.  It never changes.
A minute is a minute everywhere no matter what.
Relativity believers aren't measuring that.
Like pre-gravity aware scientists of the way back, they are still weighing Time so keep getting different values depending on local gravity and speed.
3:48 PM Mr. Brown
Einstein?
3:48 PM Mr. Silver
Yeah...Einstein
3:49 PM Mr. Silver
Proposed that Time changes
3:49 PM Mr. Silver
But it's like saying Mass changes...it doesn't…but since he couldn’t figure out Time properly, he applied invalid math to Mass calculations and believed it changed too.
Weight changes just fine, Mass doesn't.  How would the amount of matter in an object magically change without adding or subtracting anything?
A physicist can fill a lab of blackboards with formulas on the subject, but Absolute Time is being left out.  Without accounting for that, all the conclusions become increasingly invalid the more Absolute and Variable time diverge.
Bad science.
3:52 PM Mr. Brown
Like five watches in different conditions all showing different times.  Yet telling time.
3:52 PM Mr. Silver
Yes...they are merely scales
Put a minute on a clock
Put a pound on a scale
Neither device measures Mass or Absolute Time
With analogy in hand I'm now:
1. Less PO'd at them for the Relativity crap.  (It’s simple ignorance and not their fault, though I’ll bet it nags at some of them.)
2. Intrigued how to find, measure, and apply Absolute Time. 



Mr. Brown
Brown Jr. just told Mrs, Brown that he needs to fork the hospital.
My son is confusing me.
LOL
2:00 PM Mr. Brown
He is doing a lot of talking now, but still learning the English language.
2:05 PM Mr. Silver
Fork those hospital B-holes
2:06 PM Mr. Brown
lol
I guess.



2:13 PM Mr. Silver
Curses!  Foiled again!
2:14 PM Mr. Blue
Heh
2:16 PM Mr. Blue
Not a failure of North Korean proportions, at least.
2:17 PM Mr. Silver
"All the X-51A Waverider tests...codenamed respectively "White Elephant", "Money Bub-Blaster" and the latest "Icarus Plummet"...are all built by the same people that can't explain why the new F-35 keeps nearly killing test pilots."
2:17 PM Mr. Blue
Haha
2:18 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
2:20 PM Mr. Silver
"It's reported that the cutting edge F-35 incorporates an advanced form of the same pilot oxygen-cutting system as the F-22."
"When asked if the X-51A might also have oxygen issues, an R&D spokesman for the air force seemed confused by the suggestion."



Mr. Yellow
If we apply what worked for your group in the Rifts game to our problem on Athas in the D&D game, it seems we just need more and bigger nukes.
3:30 PM Mr. Green
Always! LOL
3:33 PM Mr. Yellow
Sounds easy.  We could use wish spells. LOL
How hard could it be?
3:35 PM Mr. Silver
Governor...
My gnome could have some for you in an afternoon.
They would be more like grenades.
3:36 PM Mr. Silver
(Hero) "It says activate from safe distance." 
(Governor) "Yeah." 
"This string is like 3" long." 
"Yeah.  Be careful." 
"What's a safe distance?" 
"Weeeeellllll...see, the math is a little complex..."
"Not 3 inches"
"Oh HELL no."
3:38 PM Mr. Yellow
LOL
3:38 PM Mr. Silver
"Can we put on a longer string?" 
"It's not strictly a plain string...I wouldn't advise it."
"Take it back."
"What?"
"It's a death ball.  Take it." 
"I don't want it!  It's active!  Of course it's a death ball!"
"This thing is already LIVE?"
"Of course it is."
"How long?!?"
"Hmm?"
"Til it goes off???!!!"
"Wellllllll....the math is complicated.  Let me get out my notes."
I love writing Governor stuff...
He needs a novel
3:44 PM Mr. Yellow
LOL Yes



8:57 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
So I got another request for a tattoo: a pin-up Minnie Mouse
9:04 AM Mr. Amethyst
Silver - "How strange", Gray - "Some random joke with slight sexual inference about mice,  LOL", Brown - "One time I was running and I started to faint so I sat down and found this frog hanging out, how cool would it be if it was a huge Godzilla sized frog?"
LOL
I crack myself up
9:06 AM Mr. Brown
OK, so I had a dark star in my head yesterday
‘cause “black hole” is a bad term unless it’s actually black, and a hole.
I got some rubber gloves other day for catfishing because the chicken livers I have are black now.
Smell horrid, but they are gonna work great.
9:06 AM Mr. Amethyst
TADA!
9:08 AM Mr. Gray
LMAO
A pin-up Minnie is definitely weird , Mr. Amethyst
9:09 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL next to a tattoo of Mickey...
9:09 AM Mr. Gray
I mean, I like Mickey Mouse...and I love pinup....but those two together?  Kind of creepy. LOL
9:09 AM Mr. Amethyst
Minnie is a sloppy drunk.
9:09 AM Mr. Gray
When are you going to get around to inking me BTW?
9:11 AM Mr. Brown
I still want a tat, but don't know if I should get one.
lol
9:12 AM Mr. Gray
You'll probably have an allergic reaction to the ink and die.
Or turn yellow....or green...or pink.
9:18 AM Mr. Brown
I just want an eagle on my arm.
I like eagles.
9:19 AM Mr. Amethyst
Tribal eagle, realistic eagle, artsy eagle?
You’re so specific.
9:19 AM Mr. Brown
Awesome eagle
Bald eagle
9:19 AM Mr. Amethyst
...
9:20 AM Mr. Silver
Balding eagle
9:20 AM Mr. Brown
lol
9:27 AM Mr. Silver
Weird...Searching for a picture of the “balding eagle” from "Rocko's Modern Life" will bring up all kinds of pics...including Stripperella...but not the eagle.
9:27 AM Mr. Brown
lol
GO GOOGLE!
9:28 AM Mr. Amethyst
....O_O
9:30 AM Mr. Gray
Go Stripperella!!
9:32 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL, I just made the connection between "balding eagle" and "stripperella"....
9:32 AM Mr. Silver
Kevin Bacon?
9:33 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
9:34 AM Mr. Brown
6 degrees
9:35 AM Mr. Amethyst
WTF is that?
9:45 AM Mr. Brown
6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon
I still think of making a movie called “Bacon”, with Kevin Bacon in it.
9:47 AM Mr. Brown
Kevin Bacon as an aspiring bacon sculptor who invents Bacon bacon.
“In a world of pork chops, one man strives to give us new hope…”
9:49 AM Mr. Amethyst
"…One man, one medium...ONE BACON!"
9:55 AM Mr. Amethyst
"This summer,s grease-filled adventure"
*shots of bacon sizzling*
"One man commands the power"
*shot of Kevin Bacon , low angle, arms folded*
"Heat....action....BACON"
*random montage of bacon cooking, running, and a huge kitchen fire with Kevin Bacon walking away, not looking*
"Kevin Bacon in, 'Bacon vs. Bacon'..."
*screen goes black*
9:56 AM Mr. Brown
I’d like to see him slinging some bacon in this movie, too, like a weapon.
Canadian bacon nunchucks.
9:57 AM Mr. Amethyst
Bacon ninja stars.
9:57 AM Mr. Silver
"Kevin Bacon...in 'Bacon Versus Bacon'.  (tag) "Everything's better with Bacon"



10:14 AM Mr. Blue
This guy thought my name was Cake
I should have just went with it
10:15 AM Mr. Amethyst
"I’m so sweet ill put you into a coma"
10:16 AM Mr. Silver
"Cake Blue", Blues Man
I picture you being quite fat and eating pastries between every song in your set.
10:18 AM Mr. Gray
…instead of taking a swig of bourbon
"This is a song I wrote when I was really depressed and ate 24 donuts...."
10:19 AM Mr. Silver
"Woke up this mornin'...
gonna eat an entire cake...
went down to the kitchen...
and my girl, she didn't bake..."
10:19 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
10:19 AM Mr. Brown
So now I’m turnin’ the batta
10:20 AM Mr. Brown
Makin’ some cakes
10:20 AM Mr. Blue
"Your southern cake is mine in the mo'nin'"
10:21 AM Mr. Amethyst
The instant classic "Cake Train Comin"
10:23 AM Mr. Gray
“...and your hot love feels like a warm apple pie.”
10:28 AM Mr. Brown
Here’s a fav  "WE'RE NOT GONNA GLAZE IT!!!"
10:28 AM Mr. Silver
That's the blues?
10:28 AM Mr. Brown
No
10:31 AM Mr. Brown
Could do a new ChuckB tune: "My Ding Dong"
10:40 AM Mr. Gray
I thought he was a blues man...not rock and roll
10:41 AM Mr. Silver
I'm not sure Mr. Brown knows how the Blues works.
10:42 AM Mr. Gray
"I got those cupcake blues.....oh yeeeeah.
Those cream-filled blues because of you.
I got those cup cake blues.....
Don’t know what I'm gonna do.
Yeah when I'm feeling down....
I just can’t help but chew and chew."
10:42 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Brown, you are to go out after work and do the following:
Buy dark sunglasses.
Buy a 5th of bourbon.
10:43 AM Mr. Gray
Have your woman leave you
10:43 AM Mr. Silver
Rent the The Blues Brothers and The Blues Brothers 2000.
Open The Blues Brothers 2000 and pee on it.
10:43 AM Mr. Gray
LOL good one.
10:44 AM Mr. Silver
Then drink and watch The Blues Brothers all night and drink...wear the glasses.
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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Day 203 - Repent For The End Of The Toner Is Nigh, A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be Rose-# In Germany, How Did He Sink With All That Air In His Head?, Fine Formal Fishing Wear, and We Examine Mr. Blue On All The German Things & Mr. Brown On Circus Geekdom

9:47 AM Mr. Brown
Mr. Amethyst, you can work for NASA.
9:48 AM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahahahaha
9:48 AM Mr. Brown
Actually I think we all could.
9:51 AM Mr. Blue
They aren't too particular as long as you're a super genius with advanced degrees.
9:51 AM Mr. Amethyst
Right
9:52 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
I’m a super fly genius.
9:52 AM Mr. Amethyst
I have a theoretical masters in philosophy.
9:56 AM Mr. Silver
Theoretically, I might be God.
9:56 AM Mr. Brown
I’m a carbon copy of God.
He created us when He CC’d Himself when sending an intergalactic email.
9:57 AM Mr. Gray
If you are a carbon copy, Mr. Brown, I think the ink was running low when he got to you.
9:58 AM Mr. Silver
Ink...hemoglobin...
9:59 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
10:05 AM Mr. Silver
We are God's butt-prints, churning out of the Xerox machine of the universe, and He's desperately hitting the "cancel" button before the "copies" counter can get to the 120 billion He entered by mistake.
(Doug, the Mail-Guy angel)  "Hey, Jehovster!  Wow!  Are these all your image, Boss Man?"
(God) "Shhh!  Oh Myself!  Is anyone coming?  I gotta clean this all up before anyone else sees!"
(looks out and down hall) "Eh...just War, Pestilence, Death and Famine."
"Cool...they're all cool guys...get 'em in here to help Me shred all these!"



Mr. Silver
"The aircraft used for the Aug. 14 flight was named Number 21, since Whitehead rather unromantically christened his experimental craft in numerical order."
(Ed. Correction) - "The aircraft used for the Aug. 14 flight was named Number 21, since Whitehead was a German."
12:25 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah, they don’t' like fancy names.
"What should we name this new invention?"  "Well, what is it?"  “A kite with an engine”  “Kite-with-an-engine #1”
12:26 PM Mr. Silver
(Ed. correction of correction) - "The aircraft used for the Aug. 14 flight was named Number 21, since Whitehead wasn't French."
12:34 PM Mr. Silver
"Dubbed Le Blanche Esprit de Courage in France, when the design was purchased by the German air force in 1927, it was redubbed Der Luftding."



12:29 PM Mr. Blue
http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/neighborhoods-north/fishermans-body-found-in-lake-arthur-648939/  did This guy eat a large amount of lead?  Who just sinks in water?
12:30 PM Mr. Silver
With lungs full of water, folks tend to sink...they start floating later.
12:30 PM Mr. Blue
Ahh okay
12:34 PM Mr. Amethyst
He got stuck in the mud when his legs hit bottom.  I’ve seen it happen, it’s scary.
12:34 PM Mr. Amethyst
I fish that spot a lot; it’s all muck and downed trees.  No wonder he didn’t float and couldn’t swim back up.
12:39 PM Mr. Silver
Jumping in at 1am probably helped in no way.
I’m just waiting on the toxicology report saying how much blood and water was in his alcohol.
12:40 PM Mr. Brown
I wonder why he jumped, is the main thing.
12:41 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah…must have been drunk and maybe goofing around.
12:42 PM Mr. Silver
(Speaker at memorial) "A bright light has left this earth, and we-...
(tapped on shoulder...person leans in to whisper.  Nodding…)
...a dim light has left this earth, and we should all pause to remember him."
12:42 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
12:42 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
12:43 PM Mr. Amethyst
Sad to say that if one of my friends did something like this, the quote people would get from me would be "Well, we all knew he wasn’t very smart."
12:49 PM Mr. Silver
"Bet I could drown if I jumped in here."
"Bet you can't"
"$100 says I can."
"Yeah!  All right, hunnerd bucks!"
The bitch is, the guy welshed on the bet.
12:55 PM Mr. Gray
Eh, his friends probably went through his pockets once they dragged the body ashore.
1:12 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
"Just before he jumped in, he said that he wanted me to have all of his possessions when he dies."



1:50 PM Mr. Brown
I want to go fishing, dang it!
But I have to go get fitted for a tux.
1:52 PM Mr. Amethyst
"This season on 'Sister Wives' meet Mr. Brown.  Mild mannered and slightly contagious, Mr. Brown has decided to find a second wife."
1:52 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
1:54 PM Mr. Silver
"Cletus's Bait n Tux"
1:54 PM Mr. Amethyst
Heheh
"I got my tux down there at the Bait, Formal Wear, and Tire store."
1:56 PM Mr. Silver
"They're doing pit barbecue now, too, aren't they?"
"BBQ Stain deposit waived on all tux orders over $30"
1:58 PM Mr. Brown
Comes in Realtree camo.
1:58 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL  Free beer with every order.
2:00 PM Mr. Blue
lol
2:02 PM Mr. Silver
"Guitar pickin' jams and moonshine bar services available for your special reception needs."
"His-and-Her plug baits and spinners"
2:10 PM Mr. Silver
"Full line of Vera Wang bridal veils and mosquito netting."
2:16 PM Mr. Silver
I like this game!
2:17 PM Mr. Brown
Fish hook tie clasps
You can fish with them too



2:32 PM Mr. Blue
Old article; this never went through.
2:39 PM Mr. Silver
"You'd have to drink five or six litres of the stuff to get drunk and these will just be 25cl or 33cl bottles. I used to drink it when I was just six years old and I still do every day."
5-6 liters for you to get drunk on it...you’ve been drinking every day since you were 6.
2:42 PM Mr. Gray
They do make a good point though on the health aspect
2:50 PM Mr. Silver
True
2:51 PM Mr. Brown
It would be like giving them a small glass of wine for lunch.  That’s good for you.
3:04 PM Mr. Silver
"Absolut to introduce new 'Flavored Shots Lunch' school drink program, citing fruit juice damage to preschool and elementary school student teeth."
"It's only 80 proof...come on...kid-sized it’s like half an ounce a pop.  They’d have to have 5 or 6 to get drunk, right?  I have that every morning!"
3:07 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
3:08 PM Mr. Blue
I think if beer is healthier than pop, that doesn't mean we should replace pop with beer.
3:08 PM Mr. Amethyst
....I would
3:08 PM Mr. Blue
It means we should get rid of pop though
3:10 PM Mr. Blue
I had beer once when I was like 14, and not again until I was 21
Not for me.
There are some good ones out there, but they're hard to find
3:11 PM Mr. Silver
See...you again make me doubt you are German.
3:12 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah
3:12 PM Mr. Silver
And now I have to wonder about the Belgian accusation.
3:12 PM Mr. Blue
But I drink Jager and schnapps, no problem.
I only like fruity-flavored beer.
3:14 PM Mr. Silver
So, back to Belgian
3:14 PM Mr. Amethyst
...
3:14 PM Mr. Silver
Belgium...land of Lambics…fruity beer.
3:15 PM Mr. Gray
How do you feel about sausages? Sauerkraut?  Parades?
3:15 PM Mr. Blue
I love any wursts, don't like any krauts.
3:15 PM Mr. Amethyst
And you don’t like beer?
3:15 PM Mr. Silver
Did you compulsively organize and classify things as a child, like the pieces of your Tinkertoys?
3:16 PM Mr. Blue
I like fruity beer.
3:16 PM Mr. Silver
Maybe he's just fruity?
Fruity beers and “sausage” shaped food.
3:16 PM Mr. Gray
There ya go....he likes jackboots, just pink ones.
3:16 PM Mr. Silver
But he hits people with sticks...on ice....
3:16 PM Mr. Gray
Oh, that is true.
Hmm
3:17 PM Mr. Silver
Puzzle deepens.
3:19 PM Mr. Silver
Ok Mr. Blue – your stance on the edibility of fish...go.
3:19 PM Mr. Gray
Chocolate?
Yes, fish is a good angle.
Fish vs. pig
3:20 PM Mr. Brown
I will eat and drink all the German things
3:20 PM Mr. Silver
I want that on a t-shirt Mr. Brown.
3:21 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
I like chocolate and fish and pork
3:21 PM Mr. Silver
Fruity beer, chocolate, fish, pork...
hmmm
3:22 PM Mr. Silver
Stance on flowers and men in shorts...go
3:22 PM Mr. Brown
You have to try foods at least once.
3:22 PM Mr. Silver
Mr. Brown is proving to be a circus geek
3:23 PM Mr. Silver
"Chicken heads?  Sure, I'll eat them in front of an audience."
3:23 PM Mr. Blue
Try eating a whole human head
3:24 PM Mr. Brown
What is that rotten herring stuff?
3:24 PM Mr. Blue
3:25 PM Mr. Brown
I probably won't like it, but I’ll try it.
I probably would rather eat haggis after trying it.
LOL
3:26 PM Mr. Blue
I doubt you'd even get it near your mouth.
3:29 PM Mr. Brown
Umm, you would be surprised.
LOL
3:29 PM Mr. Blue
Prove me wrong.
3:29 PM Mr. Brown
Then find some.
We can't bring it here though.
LOL
3:29 PM Mr. Blue
No, the burden of proof is on you.
3:32 PM Mr. Silver
Get him some Casu Marsu while you're looking for the Hákarl.
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