493 - Giant Radioactive Racists, Irish Marsupials, and Silver Hornets

[9:42 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

You hear the one about the giant radioactive rat?

[9:43 AM] 

What's the one about the giant radioactive rat?

[9:44 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

It's very big and very active on the pirate radio scene

[9:46 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

The mayor of a big city has a terrible rat problem, rats everywhere, so he calls the best exterminator around to meet in front of the courthouse.  They meet and the exterminator goes into the truck and pulls out a large crate and opens it to release a giant radioactive rat into the city.  The mayor panics. "That'll just make it worse!"  So the exterminator says “I'll come back in a week. You got no rats, you can pay me then”.
Week later
They meet up, mayor says "well you did it, no more rats! you rid the city of them!"  so the exterminator says "anything else i can help with?"  Mayor says "yeah, you got a giant radioactive black guy we can try?"

[9:55 AM] 

Oooooooo

[9:56 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Thank you, thank you, *adjusts tie*

[9:56 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

That is racist and I'm leaving. Goodbye

lol

[9:57 AM] 

"I'm here all mid 20^th century, folks!"

[9:57 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

heheh

In the America of today, that offends me

Cry cry

You must change it

“Ok, do you have a giant radioactive Kim Jon Un?”

[9:58 AM] 

Yes...say something decent...like Giant Radioactive Republican or something

[9:58 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

That's even better

[9:58 AM] 

I looked up a gerrymandering analysis last night.

The conservative end of the conclusion, the US house is over-represented by 16-17 Republicans from gerrymandering theft of seats.

Basically all the so-called "battleground" states are rigged

Democrats are guilty of 3 of the 26 clearly gerrymandered states.  It was only finally limited to 26 because it was just harder to be sure much the parties (ok, Republicans) have cheated on the many remaining states in the study. 

But the Democrat big 3 are Maryland, and two wee New England states

Basically no political impact at the Federal level

(since this discussion, and in spite of all the efforts of the Party of Cheating, the reaction to Trumpism was so bad that Democrats took 40 seats in the House – Mr. Silver)

So...yeah...Giant Radioactive Republican please.

[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

How the hell did possums get here?

The only marsupial in the Americas

[10:15 AM] 

Only surviving

Marsupial is a very old mammal strategy...Australia was isolated.  So...they kept going.

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I see

Yeah, it looks like they even originated in the Americas

moved everywhere when everything was connected, were wiped out of NA, then Panama reconnected and they migrated back from SA

[10:20 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

it's O'possum

[10:21 AM] 

"Migrating in ancient days from what is now modern Ireland, the O'Possums are an ornery bunch who love alcohol, potatoes, and a good scrap now and then."

"Breed like possums, too."

[12:28 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

Hey Mr. Silver, would you mind covering Pete's shift on (project)?

[12:28 PM] 

Ok

[12:37 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

I appreciate it, Mr. Silver. I knew your nickname was 'ol dependable' for a reason.

[12:40 PM] 

Is it?

Damn

Was hoping for something that sounded less like a horse or geyser

[12:41 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

or a geyser horse

[12:41 PM] 

Diet...depends on the horse's diet for that one...

Ick

[12:42 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

I learned that the hard way as a youngling when I fed my neighbors horse too many crab apples.

[12:42 PM] 

oops

[12:43 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

On the bright side, his grass was very well fertilized.

[12:43 PM] 

heh

No one wanted to picnic on it, I'm sure

[12:45 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

That, they did not.

[12:49 PM] 

I was really hoping to find out it was something cool, like "The Silver Hornet" 

(Pink Panther movie joke if you don't get the reference)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V2V5tes6YY

[12:55 PM]  Mr. Oleo: 

lol

That doesn't seem too reliable though

[12:56 PM] 

Heh

I always wondered if they kept that thing in a movie museum someplace.  Who but Clouseau would customize a superhero car out of a piece of junk like a Citroen?

[1:50 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

nice car

BAt i mean silver i mean what was that ugh

[2:11 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

my mom bought a new car

as a retirement gift to herself i guess

first brand new car since probably like 93

[2:11 PM] 

What she get?  I know not a Silver Hornet

[2:11 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

silver jeep cherokee

[2:12 PM] 

"Jeep Cherokee" is the native American word for Hornet

[2:13 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

salesman asked "how long do you plan on having it?"

"uhh.. until i die?"

[2:14 PM] 

heh

Interesting question

"Any chance I could buy it off of you when you are done?"

[2:16 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

It was actually the one the salesman had been driving

but it's a 2018

they were trying to sell 2017s that were gently used but she wanted newer

he was like "well... mine's newer.."

he even had to clear his gym stuff out of it

There's so much technology in new cars but it's just something that'll break

Lights that point out to the sides when you open doors to get out... touch screen... auto start... buncha numbers on the dash i don't even know what they mean

buttons all over the steering wheel.. USB ports and shit

[2:20 PM] 

Mainly shit...

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwdI2HwGS38uZgjzmWGZOOB7TkOxb-sARiU3zswyVJynT35unfNKbf4iyo-ZucumeV4B9KtrQvhuR9R0YkKB0cNtXKIqHHqkGB5cyJxE7beKF38Ak9D6kvMFA7EvCoHKaj5-xQ-CKjZV_0/s200/SpeedRacer49.jpg

(Blue's Mom) "Which one puts it in submarine mode?"

[2:22 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

i have lots of buttons in my ford

[2:22 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

i want few buttons, and i want all analog

[2:22 PM] 

What was that super expensive sports one with the retro spy dash with mechanical toggle switches and stuff you liked, Mr. Blue?

[2:22 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

oh yeah

The Pagani Zonda

https://www.netcarshow.com/pagani/2009-zonda_r/1280x960/wallpaper_1a.htm

https://www.netcarshow.com/pagani/2009-zonda_r/1280x960/wallpaper_12.htm

looks like a soviet MiG on the inside

[2:26 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

you can get cars with an analog clock too

[2:27 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

VWs, weirdly, have basically a wrist watch without straps in the middle of the dash

[2:27 PM] 

hehe...it has a red "fire" button.

[2:27 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

lol didn't even notice that

is that to GET a fire or is that.. in CASE of fire i wonder

[2:29 PM] 

Cigarette and Pursuit Vehicle Lighter

"This have a cigarette lighter?"

"You'll have to stand by the nozzle on the rear bumper."

[2:30 PM]  Mr. Blue:

heh

"interior air" it's just either on or off

"you warm?"

"yeah a little.."

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XiJzLfxWooo/hqdefault.jpg

[2:31 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

engage “brake” flip switch

[2:31 PM] 

:)

Wonder what the two "maps" dials do

[2:32 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

wiper speed lol

[2:32 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

not sure

maybe controls something on the dash cluster

[2:33 PM] 

http://www.monstershack.net/reviews/full/gfx/fugalien/spacespeed.jpg

[2:33 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

lol

[2:42 PM] 

This got buried in a topic I couldn't follow yesterday:

https://www.afsupply.com/media/wysiwyg/infortis/brands/american-standard.png

Is it me or does their trademarked name actually say: "Americam Stamdard"?

(keep seeing it on the urinal top...was bugging my subconscious so I looked closer)

Those look nothing like Ns - print or cursive

492 - The Legality Of Fully Automatic Big Game Hunting

[9:01 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

So I saw an article that said that the Vegas shooter used a bump stock

[9:01 AM] 

yup

(editors note - These POS add-ons were not only banned since that event, but banned by Republicans(?!), and had no Grandfather clause...turn them in or busted - Mr. Silver)

[9:01 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

apparently this thing makes weapons like an automatic

not sure exactly how

[9:01 AM] 

Uh...well...

You stick it on...

And you line up

Put your finger on the trigger and pull back on the rifle. 

Keep your trigger finger stiff when you fire

And the kick of the shot makes the bump stock slide enough to push the trigger into your finger again.

[9:03 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

yes

[9:03 AM] 

So as long as you can hold steady, you have a machine gun

[9:03 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

like bump-firing but it's a springy stock

[9:03 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

ok yeah. That guy should have never been allowed to buy that

[9:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

It's legal

[9:04 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

ever

[9:04 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

But hes an American, Mr. Brown

[9:04 AM] 

Yes, perfectly legal. It's merely very similar in principle to a machine gun.

In fact it is just a manual action instead of a mechanical one so your finger doesn't get tired as you murder crowds with it at fully-automatic fire rates...

So it's is...um...not a machine gun.

[9:04 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Its his right as a Merican'

[9:05 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

no it bypasses the laws in place for somebody to get an automatic weapon.

[9:05 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

you can buy equipment to make semi-auto into auto

it's legal to buy, sell and own...just not install

[9:06 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I'm completely against anybody other than police and military having an automatic weapon

[9:07 AM] 

But Mr. Brown...it's illegal to install that, as Mr. Blue said.  So no gun nut who would desire find and purchase such a kit would actually do it.

The type who would want such a display piece would be too responsible.

They could end up suspended from the NRA for a while

It wouldn't be worth it

[9:10 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

you can even make handguns into full auto

[9:10 AM]

I think it should be part of the Bar Exam to ask prospective law graduates to successfully define a spade.

(gun nut's lawyer) "And so, this manual attachment doesn't make a machine gun."

(judge) "Show a video of it working.  (watches)  Machine gun.  Illegal.  NEXT?"

[9:11 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Robocop had a fully automatic handgun

[9:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

exactly

[9:11 AM] 

I WANT Robocop to have one

[9:11 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

lol

[9:11 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

lol

[9:11 AM] 

I don't want "Street thug #4 in alley scene" to have one.

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

the people that legally get full autos go through lots of stuff to be allowed to have one

and they are supposed to only use them for certain things

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

interesting story... so the Israeli government commissioned for the desert eagles to be made.. but they were very impractical because they were too big with too much recoil and not enough capacity.  the manufacturer of them (at one point a small PA company) sent a bunch of them to movie studios and wardrobe companies in Hollywood and they got them into a bunch of movies

but they were never popular or used by much of anyone.. yet pretty much every movie has a guy with a desert eagle in it because they knew how ot market and they looked badass

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

lol

BLAM!!!

aaaaaaah! my hand! Aaaaah!

I can't shoot it again!

Doesn't hold it right

BLAM  AAAAA my NODE

My f-ing node!

[9:13 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

that reminded me because I read that they wanted Robocop to have a Desert Eagle but instead it was a spiced-up Beretta

[9:13 AM] 

I fired my brother's...once

Wow

It kind of evoked the memory of the one time I fired his muzzleloader.

WHOOM!   ...and I'm standing a half step back bracing on my back foot, the gun was pointing a different direction and the target had a big hole in it

[9:14 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i shot a .44 once and i felt it in my face

[9:15 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I mean the Desert Eagle's ammo makes it have low quantity clips

so you better shoot it well

hit what your aiming at

[9:15 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

Isn't that the idea for a gun?

ive never shot a rifle or shotgun

i have no reason to

i could never kill an animal i don't have beef with

[9:21 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I shoot them to eat them, lots of times i don't even shoot them

decide to let them go

I would never hunt just to get the hide

I would eat it too

or just the horns

so these people that shoot Giraffs and Zebras are idiots

[9:22 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

those giraffes were coming right for them

[9:25 AM] 

(reads)  You'd eat the hides and antlers, Mr. Brown?

[9:25 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

lol

i know that was writen poorly

I think you could eat the hide

prob the antler too if ground up

[9:26 AM] 

Traditional medicine includes antler, yes.

As for big game hunting...besides the issues of what room do you put a stuffed giraffe in...

[9:26 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

the Giraffe Room of course

[9:27 AM] 

On an Adam Ruins It All there was a piece on that.  Turns out that the wildlife preserves have decided the only way to pay for their preservation with piles of money is to sell old sick Big Game to stupid rich American hunters

They tag the trouble makers and death's door trophy animals...and charge $xx,000 to drive some dope out to shoot it.

Then they can pay for care and patrols for the rest of the preserve.

[9:29 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Practical big game hunting

[9:29 AM] 

Apparently it's been working very well

[9:29 AM]  Mr. Brown:  

I still don't believe in just killing for a trophy

thus why its not a big deal if i don't go hunting

[9:30 AM] 

No...but if they'll be dying or raiding garbage cans or killing kids anyway...might as well.  The staff were going to have to shoot them for free if they didn't market them.

[9:30 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

well if they are gonna get put down anyway, its best that it benefits the other animals

yeah

[9:30 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

yeah that part would be ok

and you can't eat a sick animal

but shooting zebras is a little strange to me

prob cause they are a horse and we have them in culture as semi pets

[9:32 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

i read the true story of Seabiscuit/horse racing and horses sound kinda stupid

Dogs are smarter

Jockies all have eating disorders too

literally they swallow tapeworms and shit

[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

alcoholic miniature men

[9:34 AM] 

Zebras are more a wild ass...but...ok

[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

True

[9:34 AM] 

Also, there's comparatively a bazillion zebra

[9:35 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

also I would think just killing an elephant for its tusks alone is a big waste

but i know thats normaly illegals doing that

[9:36 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

“Immgrints ur comin' in, killing ur elephants fur thur tusks!”

[9:36 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

lol

[9:36 AM] 

Thur takin' ur TUSKS!

[9:37 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

There are a lot of meat sources that nobody uses anymore

that if done right we would have plenty and it would replenish

Like wild boars

[9:38 AM]  Mr. McGreen: 

filthy swine

[9:38 AM] 

There was an Onion "Our Dumb Century" article that was roughly - "Steamer Delivers Cargo of Inedible Animals to New York" 

The article went over the confusion with the types, but the go-ahead to slaughter and sell everything, and then people submitting complaints to butchers about the taste before the founder of the Bronx Zoo found out what happened

[9:40 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

haha

[9:40 AM] 

If wild boar would become a thing, maybe we could save Texas.  Apparently they're like a rat plague in some areas. But bigger and much more dangerous. 

Probably roughly as smart as each other too

[9:45 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Should send all the hunting nuts to the areas with invasive species like boars.

Or raccoons in Europe

[9:41 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yep

No limit. Have a good time!