447 - "They Drew First Jerk Not Me", "Cruising" Is A Film About Macho Muscle Cars Right?, and The Science Of Chubbies

[11:43 AM] Mr. Blue:

He put a bunch of hearsay up about someone's daughter and the dad showed up at his house and beat him up

[11:45 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah, he was talking crap about (employee) on there too.

He put a lot of people's private business on there

[11:47 AM] Mr. Blue:

I know that the cops didn't charge the guy that beat him up

I think that's one example of, like, small town justice

[11:47 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah instead of pressing charges, it was “resolved”.

LOL

[11:48 AM]

"Fell repeatedly. Accident victim delusional."

[11:48 AM] Mr. Blue:

LOL Yes

Police bias is probably a bad thing a lot of the time, but I think that was a case where it was good

"This guy's a POS and we're tired of dealing with him...but we have nothing to pin on him that will fix the situation...so lets just say this was self defense."

There was a similar case where some rapist got obliterated by the victim's father and the police were like "Ahhh... The curb did the damage..."

[12:19 PM]

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/rambo/images/c/cf/ImagesCAVP093G.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121227180141

[12:20 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heh

"We're just a small rural town. We don't take kindly to former troops around here."

Which seemed like a weird narrative... small town people deify vets

"Take yer camo and patriotism on down the road!"

[12:22 PM]

Heh

[12:23 PM] Mr. Brown:

Well the war they are using in the movie, they thought they were all baby killers and such

[12:23 PM]

(Realistic 'First Blood') "Hey.  You ok, man?  Need a coffee and something to eat?  Where'd you tour?"

[12:24 PM] Mr. Blue:

I assume in the book he was more off - like dirtier, or more obviously mentally ill

[12:24 PM] Mr. Brown:

Maybe a lot more tattered

[12:25 PM]

Sounds like we need to go look

[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Blood_(novel)

Weird... Kentucky, not the Pacific Northwest, and both Rambo and Teasle die

[12:28 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah, but that's not good for movies

It looks like he was taken to the edge of the city more than once so that prompted arrest

In the movie they can't really do that three times

So they sped it up. Did it once then arrested him

[12:30 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

Book was released in 1972... much closer to the Vietnam War. By 1982 nobody cared.

[12:30]

(considers age differences) Uh... The war was still going on in '72.  I wouldn't say only nine years after we were out that "nobody cared".

[12:30 PM] Mr. Brown:

So I can see this version as they saw him only as a drifter at first and didn't want that in their town

[12:31 PM]

"First Bum"

[12:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

“Cruising” is a weird ass movie

In order for a cop to track down a gay killer... he has to... become gay himself?

[12:38 PM]

I never knew that.  What a stupid premise.

[12:39 PM] Mr. Blue:

That's how I recall it at least

There's someone going around killing gay men in NYC... so they find a cop that fits the appearance of all the victims and they tell him to go undercover and start dressing and acting gay and hanging around leather bars and glory holes and such in the hopes the killer tries to kill him

If the NYC police are looking for someone that's killing peoples' pets, would the detective have to become a dog?

[12:50 PM]

(reads some wiki)

So, to me, "Cruising'" under these terms is – "We want to film a serial murder mystery that takes place in the gay community...with the caveat that we'd like people to go see it."

[12:51 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yes

[12:52 PM]

(Trailer voiceover guy) "Al Pacino is BACK as an ultra macho, straight, definitely not gay, man's man COP who is hanging out at gay clubs but is totally in disguise and isn't gay!"

[12:52 PM] Mr. Brown:

Totally

[12:53 PM] Mr. Blue:

It was also edited strangely so a lot of the movie is really ambiguous.

Like, it's hinted at that he's becoming gay...but it's not really shown explicitly...and you're not sure if he was already gay to begin with. Maybe?

[12:53 PM]

"Starring Karen Allen as his girlfriend, who he bangs – straightly – often."

[12:53 PM] Mr. Brown:

(Captain) "Hey. We need you to go undercover at these "Gay" bars...you match the target characteristics the killer is going for. Will you do it?"

(Jumps up down, clapping) "Yes! Yes I will! I can do it!"

[12:54 PM]

"OooOOOooo!"

[12:55 PM] Mr. Blue:

There are times when it seems to hint that Pacino himself is the killer, or maybe that he's doing some of the killing too.

[12:55 PM]

Perfect cover

[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:

Sounds like we need some extra scenes then

[12:55 PM]

(Detective Burns) "You can tell the killing was done by a gay guy who was in this closet...so I'm coming out. Not OUT...I mean I'm moving...that kind of out. Or that I was 'in the closet' because I wasn't. I was just standing in this closet looking at clues. Not IN the closet gay. I'm just coming out into the apartment, not 'out of the closet' gay out. But...you know...you can tell the killer was gay though, right? I mean it's obvious the killer is gay to all you guys, right? Because we're detectives. Doesn't take nothing special to just look at...at...the crime scene and see that the killer is a gay guy. Not that I know anything about gay guys and what they do, but just by looking...right? Uh. You see the gazongas on the new babe in records? Woo hoo! You know me and babes...and gazongas. Nothing I like more than having sex with women, am I right? Can't get enough of that! Anyway...I'm coming out - LEAVING."

[12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:

It's a movie that probably needed a director's cut, but I guess the cut scenes were lost forever

[12:56 PM] Mr. Brown:

That sucks

Because you know seeing it in its full glory would probably be better

I hate when people get edit happy

[12:58 PM]

On the reverse...I also hate when they stay edit sad

*cough...Peter Jackson Hobbit...cough*

[12:58 PM] Mr. Brown:

So I guess the real question would be: do any actual gay people watch this film? Based on this article, probably not.

[2:24 PM] Mr. Brown:

Daily Mail

"Would you have unwanted body fat injected into your PENIS? New trend sees men move excess inches into their manhood to make it bigger”

That is one heck of a title for an article

LOL

[2:24 PM]

Pot-belly penis

[2:24 PM] Mr. Blue:

Imagine if you gained weight and it all went there instead of your stomach or butt

[2:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

Eww.

[2:25 PM] Mr. Brown:

Men should consider - is it good enough to do the job? If so, then stop right there.

[2:26 PM]

"It's Nature's way of saying you aren't healthy enough for kids"

[2:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

I know that "size" is kind of a relative thing depending on the culture.

Like those Greek statues aren't well endowed because small *was* well endowed for them.

[2:27 PM] Mr. Brown:

Also certain sizes would be not good for moving around

[2:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

Probably not

[2:27 PM]

Hehe

[2:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

Get snagged on jagger bushes and whatnot

If the prehistoric “Venus” figures were any indication, very large and very curvy was the ideal for like, 20,000 years as far as women go.

[2:30 PM]

A conclusion about on-screen nudity on some site I read about year ago:

(RE lack of male nudity in TV and film) "In most situations, female nudity is considered fine but it turns out a lot of people don't like male anatomy, which is too variable between relaxed and 'angry' states, and from man to man."

"This can cause feelings of inadequacy or embarrassment or any of a whole slew of other responses from both sexes."

[2:35 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heh

One is certainly a little easier on the eyes than the other

Even the “ideal male physique” has feminine qualities

If you look at fitness models and bodybuilders, what are large pectorals except just the male version of nice boobs?

[2:37 PM] Mr. Brown:

Hard boobs

[2:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

The pecs are a useless muscle. It's a secondary sexual characteristic.

Maybe it was worthwhile when we were crawling around on all fours

There are videos for men on YouTube - "How to get an ass-chest"

[2:50 PM]

Honestly, I think the “study” my paraphrase came from was probably of prudish ex-faux-Victorian Americans.

Despite so called "Victorian" prudishness, it didn't actually exist in England

The people of the US during that period, however, were demented

(Sorry...have to leave some unedited Mr. Brown in here – Mr. Silver)

[2:58 PM] Mr. Brown:

I have noticed that in nature Size of your man hood goes along with how hard to reach the end zone

even in animals

[3:17 PM]

(blinks ... ) What?

[3:23 PM] Mr. Brown:

I was meaning like how walruses and wales have big you know whats cause they need it like that to reach

[3:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

Glad I came in today, just for this conversation! (rofl)

[3:27 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yep

Big booty women

biger youknow what

lol

HaHAHAH

[3:33 PM] 

I'd just like to cite one of my Physical Anthropology professors who broached this subject and lamented the penis of the poor gorilla.

"You'd think a hulking thing like that would have something showier...but...(pinches fingers together) 2 inches...no kidding.  Poor guys."

[3:34 PM] Mr. Brown:

Gorrilas are low to the ground though.

[3:36 PM]

In the gutter, one might say.

446 - Just Don't Look Like A Tourist, Lady Parts & Labor, A So-Called Monster, A President For Everyone, and "The Name Of The Ed"

[2:31 PM] Mr. Blue:

I keep wondering how safe it is for like, me or one of you, to just walk around some of these foreign cities

Like I know Baghdad is unsafe... but is it really *that* unsafe?

Apparently yes.

If you go there and just start walking around as a Westerner, you're pretty much guaranteed to be kidnapped or murdered almost instantly.

You need a security detail to even move around the "green zone", which has security run by an int'l coalition

[2:35 PM]

"Plan your next murder vacation with us!

[2:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

Checking Tehran now

Apparently there are "fake police" problems

[2:49 PM] Mr. Brown:

If you go to somewhere ISIS is, you will for sure be kidnapped or killed.

[2:50 PM] Mr. Blue:

Probably

This does mention that Iraqi Kurdistan is very safe for Americans and Westerners

I guess the Kurds like us

[2:50 PM] Mr. Brown:

If you know the language well and everything else, you could maybe blend in with the right clothing

[3:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

Mogadishu: “Those mad enough to visit the city face three options: die in the airport, die on a bus, or die on a boat.”

Lagos, Nigeria, sounds surprisingly safe and welcoming

So far Baghdad and Mogadishu are guaranteed death sentences...betting Kabul is too

Nigeria sounds safer than South Africa

Tehran sounded relatively okay

Just no kissing in public and cover your head & arms if you're a woman

And if you're a homosexual you should grow wings. lol

Baghdad sounds really rough. It makes you wonder how on earth a place that bad can ever turn around.

They describe the city streets just filled with people with machine guns

[3:19 PM] Mr. Brown:

Some of these places make you wonder how the people live there in the first place

[3:20 PM] Mr. Blue:

Very carefully

How do you take a city that's a bombed-out hell hole that's 1/5th mass murderers and say: "Okay, now you need to modernize"

I'm sure all the war criminals and terrorists will just happily trade in their IEDs and AK47s for smart phones and X-Boxes

[3:23 PM]

In a place as safe as that? Yes!

[3:24 PM] Mr. Blue:

I guess Europe recovered after WW2 and stuff

It's not like they caught and locked up every Nazi. They couldn't.

IDK if Berlin ever got anything like Baghdad, though.

[1:03 PM] Ms. Rose:

Speaking of sperm. Did I tell yinz that I almost had my uterus ripped out yesterday? 5-year Mirena replacement.

[1:09 PM]

5 Year Mirena replacement...

(sees mechanic looking at a computer screen with you...uterus behind glass up on lifts with guys doing 30 point inspection)

"Well, we have a couple options ma'am... And with the coupon you have I'd suggest go with the Premium plan."

(Ms. Rose) "What's the advantage over Silver?"

"Well, we'll swap out the fan belt and give you a new filter.  That alone will increase the life of it."

[1:12 PM] Ms. Rose:

Silver, don't even. It was *the WORST*.

Dude doc, with his hands up my woman parts is like, "You haven't had a period in 5 years. This is going to feel like 5 whole years of periods, all at once. And do you mind if me and (5 other named people) experiment on you?"

[1:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

"Let me tell ya about the value of rust proofing...”

[1:13 PM]

So I was close on the group of mechanics...

[1:15 PM] Ms. Rose:

I swear, those damn interns or assistants or whatever they are, were grabbing me by the falopian tubes and just pulling out my uterus through my face.

But hey, no babies for another 5 years! (y)

[1:16 PM] Mr. Brown:

Ice ice baby

[1:16 PM] Ms. Rose:

I got really emotional and yelled at Mr Oleo for like an hour last night, questioning his decision to not have kids.

[1:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

*doctor stands up, grease & grime all over his face & hands*  "at'll be $75.50, parts & labor."

[1:16 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)

[1:17 PM] Mr. Brown:

Adopt a puppy

[1:18 PM] Ms. Rose:

Last thing I'll say, and I apologize for TMI. The doc was like, "If you see a little piece of plastic fall out in the toilet, call us." Because I *always* check the toilet after I...go.

Without insurance, the damned thing costs $1400. I am fairly certain I will notice if a $1400 piece of whatever falls into the toilet. Depending on how many drinks I've had.

[1:22 PM] Mr. Blue:

"Here's yer complimentary air freshener." (that's my last one too)

[1:27 PM]

"The so-called 'Tully Monster' (pictured here with this awesome primitive shark to get you to click on the article) is about as monstrous as you'd expect from something called 'Tully'."

https://phys.org/news/2017-02-tully-monster-mystery-group.html

"Paleontologists have been unable to tell if the Tully Monster had a spine.  They are similarly unsure about the spines in modern descendants."

https://www.google.com/search?q=louis+tully&biw=1162&bih=776&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwju16jrpp_SAhXK1IMKHWn8BiwQsAQIJg

[1:31 PM] Mr. Brown:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4241904/Mystery-ancient-Tully-Monster-far-solved.html

[1:33 PM] Mr. Blue:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tullimonstrum#/media/File:Tullimonstrum_NT_small.jpg

The eyes looks like a piercing

[1:34 PM] Mr. Brown:

A cross of a squid and fish-like creature

The fossils look interesting

[1:35 PM] Mr. Blue:

https://www.google.com/search?q=bridge+piercing&espv=2&biw=1156&bih=635&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjL4IaxqJ_SAhXp6oMKHcAMBqYQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=ESSqVmxPH1vJZM:

[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:

The fossil appears to show you nothing other than what it was shaped like

[1:46 PM]

So that's why they can't figure out the Tully Monster eyes...They aren't eyes, they are jewelry

[1:47 PM] Mr. Blue:

The earliest goth-punk in the fossil record

[1:54 PM]

The back end is all one big butt.

[1:59 PM] Mr. Brown:

Just simply looking at it, that thing looks like a relative to a squid

Instead of tentacles that shoot out it has one long proboscis with the beak at the end

[2:02 PM]

Of course, all the real examples appear to be a blob flattened onto a larger base blob. 

[2:02 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yep, looking at the fossils we have to go off of

[2:03 PM]

"We found out they were actually long and thin, and other critters liked to splat 'em flat at one end."

[2:04 PM] Mr. Brown:

Me'sa thinks it'sa me'sa long lost cousin

[2:06 PM]

Perhaps they were long and thin and would puff up like a balloon when threatened with fossilization.

"Oh crap!  Silt!  (sucks in water)"

The pressure made their eyes pop out

Sproingk!

[2:08 PM] Mr. Brown:

We need to make a horror film with it now

[1:38 PM] Mr. Brown:

There are people protesting today saying Not My President Day

Um. Today is to celebrate all the previous ones or the ones you like.

lol

[1:41 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heh

"Don't like any?  Make one up!"

[1:44 PM]

"In this country, our right to Freedom of President is in the constitution."

[1:46 PM] Mr. Blue:

Today I celebrate Thomas F. Douglas... Before being elected president he led a cavalry against the invading Huguenots at Tallahassee.  He was also a state senator from Kanawha.

[12:01 PM] Ms. Rose:

Ewww. Chuck Cooter is our new HR guy. I cannot have respect for anyone with that last name. (chuckle)

[12:02 PM]

To soften the reaction, just keep in mind he could have been named Dick

[12:02 PM] Mr. Brown:

Or Harry

[12:03 PM] Ms. Rose:

I will never see his name the same way again. Thanks, Mr. Silver!

Mother: Virgina Cooter

[12:03 PM]

Father: Peter Cooter

One of my ex-college roommates – one of two who ended up into the under-aged and a licensed licensed psychopath...

After getting kicked out of the house...and college...but not the Navy (?)

Officially re-emerged from his lair into society in a different state with the new name:

"Mike Hunt".

It seemed appropriate for him.

[12:08 PM] Ms. Rose:

I think we've talked about goofy names before, so I apologize for the repeat. Mom went the school with a Marylou Goldshitter. Classic.

I had both Candle Holder and Luke Warm in my elementary school. They were transplants from some other place in MA.

[12:09 PM]

I was called several years back by someone saying she was an ex-wife of his, giving me a rundown of the horrors she and their kids had endured, and to make sure I was aware that he was divorced and if he had ever gotten a hold of any of my personal info, be on guard.

To be honest...I thought her call was a scam he himself was rigging.

[12:10 PM] Ms. Rose:

Wow, so he really was a...Hunt.

[12:17 PM]

He really was.

Everyone liked him immediately but me.

Hot shaman instincts, perhaps, but I knew he was evil the moment I saw him.

Depersonalized him immediately by dubbing him “The Ed”.

Which stuck and made things easier.

He was exposed, evidence investigated by police, magistrate hearings held and etc in less than a semester of me drawing the short straw to share a room with him in the house.

Who knows what would have happened if it wasn't me stuck observing him.

"His" closet (I didn't get to use my half of it) was padlocked right after we moved into the place.  

When we'd had enough and and I (with 'stand back, you can't touch anything' witnesses) got in to "my closet" that I was paying rent for and had been locked out of -- an accepted legal argument vs. breaking and entering -- it was full of boxes of stuff obviously stolen from the campus bookstore and other places, stolen mail, and he had all the "missing" paychecks from the roommates in the Navy (6 of 8 of us were Navy).  He also had collected fragments of info on all of them.  He had addresses, relative names and relationships, couple serial numbers. 

Surprisingly little on me but I was a minimalist.

He's lucky they didn't just kill him and lose his body somewhere...there was talk...but we'd already turned him in.  He got off light considering the felonies...not sure how he wormed out of it.

I predicted he'd be dead by age 28 after targeting the wrong mark.

No such luck.