10:04
AM Mr. Brown
More
mind games.
10:09
AM Mr. Silver
"our
brain tricks us into see human faces in objects like Jesus in toast"
(PSA
starring Jan-Michael Vincent) "So stay off Jesus-in-Toast, kids,
or what happened to me could happen to you, too."
10:13
AM Mr. Silver
(change
channel) "...victim said his assailant had been taking
Jesus-in-Toast, and had been seeing faces everywhere. Police
have found a bag of the designer drug at the residence but have not
found the suspect...though they suspect he's outside somewhere,
talking to rocks and trees and stuff."
I
like the purple with blue eyes version.
Mr. Blue
I
thought about writing a joke script for the 3B
movie
I was talking about yesterday.
I
made it about 4 lines.
12:34
PM Mr. Silver
"There's
only 4 lines here."
Sidaris
"Well,
the rest is improv-ed smarmy lines between the bare boobs and
explosions."
"GOLD!"
12:35
PM Mr. Blue
Probably
3 lines more than any Sidaris script.
12:35
PM Mr. Brown
All
you need is good punch lines, right?
(Shot
of slow motion boobs bouncing like Jello)
12:36
PM Mr. Silver
1.
"I need you to take out the Huevos y Chichis Gang."
2.
"Right chief, I'm on it."
3.
"Good job out there."
4.
"Thanks!"
The
rest? Fake it.
12:41
PM Mr. Silver
"Hello
Foxy...I hear you're a cop."
(camera
cuts to busty blonde in torn shirt with big hair mouthing "What
do I do now?") (dub) "That's
right...I’m looking for information."
12:46
PM Mr. Silver
"I've
got information. But you look like you need to relax first. Let's
have some drinks and hang out at the pool."
(hand
extends into shot with blonde, holding tiny bikini pieces out.
Mouths "Are you kidding? No way.") (dub)
"Sure,
that sounds nice. Thanks for the suit."
(The
baddie pours frozen drinks out of pitcher without taking any steps to
make them. Different
blonde walks in in the bikini. Mouths "Gee, thanks for the
audition. Ooo, drinks! Thanks!") (dub)
"What do you know about the drop on Saturday night? Who's gonna
be there?"
12:47
PM Mr. Blue
Act
1, Scene 1.
[A
beautiful bikini babe with gorgeous breasts is laying on the beach
when a nerd approaches her]
Babe: [sitting there very sexually]
Nerd: “Hey there! Do, uhh, you want me to rub some lotion on you?”
Babe: “Eww! Buzz off creep! Why don't you get out of here? I don't want you around me. And if I have to tell you again, my boyfriend's gonna hear about it.”
Nerd: [his penis is audibly shrinking]
Boyfriend: [shows up from off camera]
Babe: [sitting there very sexually]
Nerd: “Hey there! Do, uhh, you want me to rub some lotion on you?”
Babe: “Eww! Buzz off creep! Why don't you get out of here? I don't want you around me. And if I have to tell you again, my boyfriend's gonna hear about it.”
Nerd: [his penis is audibly shrinking]
Boyfriend: [shows up from off camera]
Boyfriend:
“Hey get outta here you dweeb!”
[pulls
out Uzi and blasts nerd - he explodes. Text books rain down.]
Boyfriend [breaks 4th wall]:
“Now that's what I call... an education.”
Babe: [runs up and starts kissing hunky boyfriend, her top falls off]
<end scene>
Babe: [runs up and starts kissing hunky boyfriend, her top falls off]
<end scene>
12:49
PM Mr. Silver
Ooo...full
scene...(reads)
Good
scene!
I
think we have a picture here!
We
just need a time machine to get the right kind of “big hair”
girls for this.
12:52
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
I'm
picturing those high waisted bikinis from the 80s.
12:52
PM Mr. Silver
French
dental floss?
12:58
PM Mr. Silver
Nice
screen direction, BTW.
Babe:
[sitting there very sexually]
12:59
PM Mr. Blue
Right.
12:59
PM Mr. Silver
Confused
bimbo actress looks up from script - "You
mean...like..."
Sidaris
- "NO! Sit back up and close your knees back together! This is a family
picture!"
Actress
- “Oh! I'm not sure I'm comfortable
with that.”
(trailer
voiceover)
"From
the studio who brought you "Your's, Mine, and Check out Those",
and "With Six You Get 44 Double-Ds" comes the latest family
comedy..."
"A
Huge Chest for Father!"
(Meanwhile
in a private exchange with Mr. Blue)
1:00
PM Mr. Silver
I
consider it a minor miracle that Mr. Brown hasn’t thrown a single
wrench into
this
yet.
1:07
PM Mr. Brown
44
NNNs
it
floats in the ocean
its
boobith
1:21
PM Mr. Silver
No
sooner said than wrong.
Mr.
Blue
Act
1: Scene 2:
[The
villain's secret hide-out, in the warehouse district.]
Villain: [very evilly] “We've got a huge shipment of the drugs coming in, and we want you to be there when they deliver it. I don't want any screw ups like the last time.”
Henchmen: [has a foreign accent] “Where's the drop off point?”
Villain: [scowling] “Gun Beach...”
[opening credits roll over rock music]
Villain: [very evilly] “We've got a huge shipment of the drugs coming in, and we want you to be there when they deliver it. I don't want any screw ups like the last time.”
Henchmen: [has a foreign accent] “Where's the drop off point?”
Villain: [scowling] “Gun Beach...”
[opening credits roll over rock music]
1:59
PM Mr. Silver
Wow...credits
come after scene 2
2:00
PM Mr. Blue
I’ve
kind of painted myself into a corner, so I guess I’ll make the
boyfriend from scene 1 into the hero. Otherwise that scene makes no
sense.
2:00
PM Mr. Amethyst
Just
kill him off. What a twist!
2:00
PM Mr. Silver
Nod
2:01
PM Mr. Silver
Get
the revenge stuff the women detectives think about while undercover
dating the bad guys.
2:02
PM Mr. Blue
Cody
Angelo... killer of drug smugglers and nerds.
2:02
PM Mr. Silver
Detective
Foxy Bimbina "Cody had it all...Brawn, brawn...a good tan...good
with a gun and always knew how to apologize when he slept around. I
can't believe he's dead."
(phone
rings, bartender answers, calls out) "Babs! Cody is
on the phone for you, he's at the houseboat."
2:06
PM Mr. Silver
(Foxy
and two other women at opposite ends of bar) "Cody is on the
phone? That bastard!"
2:07
PM Mr. Blue
[Cody
is playing pool in a bar, his shirt has no sleeves or midriff. His
Zubaz are like a beacon in the dank bar.]
Bartender: [she has large breasts as well] “Cody! Telephone call for you.”
Cody: “Not now, I'm busy.” [he's ogling and winking at some babes that just walked in]
Bartender: “It's someplace called Pentagon?”
Cody: “Aww geeze, not those guys again! Gimmie the phone.”
Bartender: [she has large breasts as well] “Cody! Telephone call for you.”
Cody: “Not now, I'm busy.” [he's ogling and winking at some babes that just walked in]
Bartender: “It's someplace called Pentagon?”
Cody: “Aww geeze, not those guys again! Gimmie the phone.”
Military
Commander: “Cody! This is the Chancellor of the CIA, and we need
your help again. There's a drug shipment coming in and we want you
there to stop it.”
2:11
PM Mr. Amethyst
Chancellor
of the CIA?
What?
2:11
PM Mr. Blue
?
2:11
PM Mr. Amethyst
That’s
a thing?
LOL
2:11
PM Mr. Blue
No.
2:11
PM Mr. Amethyst
OK
2:12
PM Mr. Blue
It's
a bad script.
2:12
PM Mr. Amethyst
Ah.
Its meant to be?
2:12
PM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
2:12
PM Mr. Amethyst
Well.
Good job then!
2:12
PM Mr. Blue
:-)
2:13
PM Mr. Silver
Later,
at The Pentagon...
Chancellor
of the CIA: "We're putting you under Major Rack. She'll be your
deep undercover contact for the mission."
2:13
PM Mr. Blue
Heh
2:15
PM Mr. Silver
"And
these are Privates Nipsy and Mounds. These fine ladies will be
handling your equipment."
I
love this cast...I mean plot...
Mr.
Amethyst
^
2:32
PM Mr. Silver
Cody
"Nipsy and Mounds, eh? What are your specialties?"
Nipsy
"Cold water swimming in white cotton T-shirts.”
Mounds
“And beach volleyball."
Cody
"They'll do."
2:35
PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
2:56
PM Mr. Brown
Brown
junior got his first toy shaving kit, and promptly shaved last night
when we got home.
LOL
2:57
PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
2:58
PM Mr. Brown
He
also wanted to shave first thing this morning.
2:59
PM Mr. Blue
Does
it work?
Or
is there no blade?
3:03
PM Mr. Brown
No
blade.
3:06
PM Mr. Silver
"My
First Straight Razor! Comes with leather strop, bottle of Bay Rub,
towel steamer and bandage roll!"
3:06
PM Mr. Amethyst
"Complimentary
suturing and transfusion set included!"
3:06
PM Mr. Blue
Heh
