Saturday, November 10, 2012

Day 208 - Filthy Hoggle, Axefold Wasn't Worth Protecting Anyway, Republican Politicians Tan The Way They Campaign, Purebred Blue, The Warp Drive Gets 4 Tries To Make It At Least 10 Light-Years Or It Has To Turn Around, Charged For Her Pleasure, and Easy Directions To The Chinese Restaurant

Mr. Blue
So the original Hoggle from Labyrinth was unclaimed as baggage in some airport, and he's now on display at some unclaimed baggage super store in the south.
1:40 PM Mr. Silver
Nice.
I’m surprised the Henson people never tried to get it.
1:45 PM Mr. Blue
I guess it wasn't theirs to claim.  It belonged to the studio or something.
1:47 PM Mr. Brown
It looks like he is beat to shit.
lol
1:54 PM Mr. Silver
Hoggle?
1:54 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah, he was all torn up, but I guess they restored him.
He looks weird now though.  His face is too smooth.
1:54 PM Mr. Silver
Sarah stopped needing him I guess.
2:02 PM Mr. Silver
(Dreamlike images of her friends in mirrors and corners)
Didymus: “And remember, fair maiden, should you need us..."
Hoggle: “Yes ... should you need us, for anything at all..." 
Sarah "Nope...I'm good."
Hoggle "Wha?  Well FU too!  *#%$&@" (vanishes)
(end credits, no dancing)
2:03 PM Mr. Blue
As Sarah’s older boyfriend Chet comes over with a vial of angel dust
Bowie comes on singing "They grow up so fast".



Mr. Silver
12:48 PM Mr. Gray
Hmmm....do I really want to read this?
12:50 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
There are some amusing details so far...I'm not finished though
I think they should have called it "D&D Wow!" myself, with archetypical heroes and monsters on the book covers depicted with bright smiles and jazz hands.
12:53 PM Mr. Gray
OK...this makes me somewhat happy:
“They promised that, in the coming years, they would finally release searchable PDF copies of books from every system, all the way back to the original 1970s classic.”
12:57 PM Mr. Silver
Me, I liked the adventure setup. 
"Wait...a whole band of rangers and druids lost to one green dragon and no one knows where it happened?  Man...Everyone in Axefold sucks."
12:58 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
12:59 PM Mr. Yellow
Yes, I was thinking “What?  No one checked?”
There are no heroes in Axefold.
1:02 PM Mr. Silver
(Party leader) "Is this Axefold?" 
(Villager, picking nose) "Huh?"
(Leader) "We're looking for Axefold...there’s a big dragon there."
(Villagers gather, all picking noses) "Huh?"
1:06 PM Mr. Yellow
Haha
1:10 PM Mr. Silver
I'm thinking St. Cuthbert's followers are having internal issues if they think druids are evil and would work with Lolth
1:10 PM Mr. Yellow
Hahaha
Yes, I read that!
1:10 PM Mr. Silver
"Hey!  Have you heard the new Hierophant is raving-shit bonkers?" 
"Yeah!  His sermons are hilarious!  The temple is standing-room-only now!"
1:11 PM Mr. Gray
LOL



Mr. Silver
7 to go...
Time to open up Rawstory to see what the latest Romney gaffe is.
8:22 AM Mr. Brown
He is trying to be Mexican by getting tan.
8:23 AM Mr. Silver
Who?  Romney?
8:24 AM Mr. Brown
Yes.
8:26 AM Mr. Silver
"Mitt, as your campaign image manager, I've gotta tell you...you're just too old-white-rich-male for today's political environment...in fact, uh, could you turn your skin down a bit?  I forgot my sunglasses."  
"Oh, sure.  (dims)"
"Thanks.  Now I have a couple of options here.  This is a bronzing sprayer...bit messy.  These are tanning pills...do you like orange?  And that up there is called 'the sun'."
8:28 AM Mr. Gray
The guy is a snake....I'll bet the tan is a spray on LOL
Even it can’t be real
8:59 AM Mr. Silver
What?...He isn't getting a healthy dose of honest suntan, working his ranch daily like smilin’ George W. Bush?  I've seen the pictures.  Those weren't real?
9:00 AM Mr. Gray
Hey, I'll give GWB some credit on that at least...he did work on his ranch and is a Texan. Romney, the most sun he likely gets is on his way to the temple in Utah. LOL
9:03 AM Mr. Silver
Bush bought it in 1999, sir.
9:06 AM Mr. Gray
The ranch?
9:06 AM Mr. Silver
Yes.  Those were photo ops for his campaign.
9:07 AM Mr. Gray
Yeah well, before that he was working in Oil and such wasn’t he? Or were those the drunken days? LOL
9:07 AM Mr. Silver
Yes, before that he was busily bankrupting oil businesses and abusing drugs and alcohol.
9:07 AM Mr. Silver
The "Ranch", in fact, appears to be nothing but a vacation home where he entertained dignitaries while the president.
9:08 AM Mr. Gray
...and worked on his tan.



10:21 AM Mr. Blue
The lady that cuts my hair is trying to get me to go out with some girl that she knows.
So I looked her up on Facebook… This girl looks exactly like me.  WTF?
10:22 AM Mr. Blue
If I put on lipstick and a curly wig, there would be no difference.
10:23 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
It's your twin.
10:23 AM Mr. Silver
So your hairdresser found your alter ego on FB, eh?
10:23 AM Mr. Blue
Kind of like that Seinfeld episode where George dates the lady that looks just like Jerry…except weirder.
10:24 AM Mr. Silver
Heh...didn't see that.
10:25 AM Mr. Blue
He doesn't see it at first, but Kramer points it out, then the girlfriend agrees... then later she gets gum in her hair and has to cut it out, and wears a button-down shirt around the apartment… by then she looks exactly like Jerry.
10:25 AM Mr. Silver
Hehe
So...going to go out with yourself then?
10:27 AM Mr. Blue
I don’t know.  That's some real Narcissus stuff.
10:28 AM Mr. Silver
(her) "Oh I love hockey!  Do you play too?"
10:30 AM Mr. Blue
Heh
11:07 AM Mr. Brown
I really need to see this resemblance now.
I keep wondering what a woman Blue would look like.
LOL
3:38 PM Mr. Silver
So this girl that looks like you...does she have the mustache?  Because that would be a dead giveaway that you walk in your sleep and have a wig.
3:39 PM Mr. Blue
I’m living a double life and the worlds are colliding.
3:40 PM Mr. Silver
If you had kids, they’d all look like both of you.  It’d be like that scene from 'Being John Malkovich'.
3:41 PM Mr. Silver
Perhaps you're the leftover from some eugenics experiment to try to create the master race.  The Pure Blue.
3:43 PM Mr. Blue
“A better future... a Blue future.”
3:43 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
3:43 PM Mr. Silver
(Nazi scientist) "Welllll...not so much a master race...more like a journeyman race...or maybe an apprentice race."
3:44 PM Mr. Blue
Hehehe
3:44 PM Mr. Brown
Hockey for all
In a Blue world, there are no roads; it’s all ice, you have to wear skates, and you defend yourself with a bent stick
3:44 PM Mr. Blue
Sounds good to me.
3:46 PM Mr. Brown
Wars are fought with pucks, fired at each other.
Mr. Blue
That’d be great!  All international disputes settled by hockey tournaments!
3:47 PM Mr. Silver
So...you totally need to date...destiny awaits your offsprings' wisdom.
Mr. Gray
He does have a point there.
You are denying the world the genetic salvation it needs.
3:49 PM Mr. Silver
Das Uberblau


11:07 AM Mr. Silver
11:07 AM Mr. Silver
They felt they had to put the football ties on the picture?
11:09 AM Mr. Blue
"We hired this community college educated graphic designer, and damn it we're gonna use him!"
"Fall’s coming soon; maybe add some leaf clip-art."
"Yes SIR!"
11:10 AM Mr. Silver
"No you can't put a pigskin texture on it and make it spin in the simulation."
11:13 AM Mr. Brown
It’s a warp football
Games will be very interesting
11:13 AM Mr. Blue
"This technology could be used to send a perfect spiral up to 80 light years down the field."


8:27 AM Mr. Silver
"Also available in a 9" model with four speeds, for the ladies."
8:29 AM Mr. Blue
heheh



Mr. Brown
There was this sushi restaurant I liked going too, but I’m not sure if they are still open.
The owner was Korean, so he also had a Korean menu too.
1:04 PM Mr. Silver
Korean is what I want to find next.
1:04 PM Mr. Blue
Sushi Kim’s in the strip district supposedly has a Korean menu.
1:05 PM Mr. Brown
This one was out Rt. 8 south.
1:05 PM Mr. Brown
Go to the Sheetz and turn right at the lights there.
Follow that road out.  I forget exact area though.
1:06 PM Mr. Blue
I don't know any Sheetz on Route 8 south, unless you're talking, like, down by the turnpike.
1:06 PM Mr. Brown
Yes, turn right at the light there at that Sheetz and follow that road.
1:10 PM Mr. Silver
So down to that Sheetz...turn right...and it’s there.
1:10 PM Mr. Brown
Out that road a ways, then I think a couple more turns.
1:10 PM Mr. Silver
ARGH!!!
Ya SEE!  I KNEW he was going to do that!
1:10 PM Mr. Blue
So turn right at the Sheetz, then turn a couple more times somewhere, and you're there.
1:10 PM Mr. Brown
I’m trying to remember the name of it.
1:10 PM Mr. Silver
AUGH!!!! 
I hate directions like that!
"Just go to Pittsburgh and ask!"
"I think it's called China something!"
"China and maybe Garden, Palace, Jade, Fortune, Wok, Panda or Golden something!  You can't miss it!"
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Day 207 - Born To Raise Rutabagas, Couldn't Escape If I Wanted To, They Love It Like "Sushi", Celebrating The Bantam Shoebox, A Bonus That Is Hard To Chew, Dubious Taste In Spirits, and He Was Able To Name All The Other 1237 Varities

8:00 AM Mr. Brown
I’ve been watching the ID Channel a lot lately.
They always seem to use the same question at the end: “Was this person born a killer?”
8:10 AM Mr. Silver
"And so, with all this history and all these facts before us to consider...Was this person BORN a garbage collector?"
8:11 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah
LOL



Mr. Silver
AUGH!
I thought I stopped it yesterday!
(ABBA earworm)
Get out of my mind!
9:43 AM Mr. Yellow
ABBA.  Lucky you.
Dancing Queen or Fernando?
9:46 AM Mr. Silver
Waterloo
9:48 AM Mr. Silver
2 days ago...it was late...I was tired...looked up something, saw a link to “Waterloo”...
"Just one couldn't hurt"
(wiser self) "It's ABBA...don't."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
(wiser self) "Don't click that."
 (click)
45 minutes later I fled and went to bed.
9:50 AM Mr. Yellow
You know, I listen to a few ABBA tunes when I am in weird moods but I never heard that song.
9:54 AM Mr. Silver
Really?
10:12 AM Mr. Yellow
Does Your Mother Know....Dancing Queen....Fernando.....Chiquitita.....and Mamma Mia
10:53 AM Mr. Green
Lunch
10:56 AM Mr. Yellow
I do not remember that ABBA song.
11:01 AM Mr. Yellow
Hmm.  I’m not showing a song named “Lunch” here by ABBA anywhere.
Weird Al did “Girls Just Want To Have Lunch”
and Dead Kennedys did “A Growing Boy Needs Lunch”
11:02 AM Mr. Silver
I'll bet if ABBA did sing a song called “Lunch”, it would have sounded great and had piano in it.
11:02 AM Mr. Yellow
Dead Boys – “I need lunch”
Elaine Stritch – “Ladies who lunch”
11:03 AM Mr. Silver
(sings) "Gimmie gimmie gimmie a sand-wich at lunchtime!"
11:03 AM Mr. Yellow
Haha
Banana Slug String Band – “Dirt made my Lunch”
Steer Clear and Jimmie Scooter did a song called “Lunch Money”
“Lunch Room Queen”
11:15 AM Mr. Yellow
You are the Lunch Room Queen...Your eating habits so obscene...Lunch Room Queen ... You can bake, You can fry...Cooking food that goes straight to your thighs...See her eat, hear her scream..Food is killing the lunch room queen
11:32 AM Mr. Silver
\:-/
11:40 AM Mr. Silver
It’s a fairly challenging lyrical task, that one.
I was trying to wrap my head around it when you put up yours...I love filking lyrics if it wasn't obvious by now.  
(continues pondering) 
11:46 AM Mr. Silver
(Sings) "Add the cheese, turn the oven oooon...
“Blend the potatoes, the gravy's…gonnnne…
“Have to serve them with butter...
“Margarine would do. 
“You're in the mood for a break.   
“And as you fill a plate. 
“YOU ARE THE LUNCHROOM QUEEN"  Etc
12:50 PM Mr. Yellow
lol
Mr. Brown
We need to find all the songs that can get stuck in your head and play them as Katzenjammer hold music.
Come on Eileen
M-bop
10:30 AM Mr. Silver
Those don't get stuck
Throw some ABBA on
“Hot Rod Lincoln” tortured me once for days
(No, ABBA didn't cover it, thank God)
11:06 AM Mr. Blue
Come on Alien
11:08 AM Mr. Silver
(sings) “Oh I swear...at this moment...you'd eat anything!
You burst from my chest...oh my clothes (I confess)...are so bloody...oh come oooon alien!”


Mr. Brown
Giant Eagle sells sushi-grade tuna
12:31 PM Mr. Blue
It’d probably make a Japanese person vomit.
12:48 PM Mr. Silver
"You know how you say 'sushi' to a lot of Yinzer yokels and they make a face, say eww and start bitching about it even though they've never had it?  Yeah, this tuna is that sushi grade."
12:48 PM Mr. Blue
Heh
12:55 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.  Most people won't even give it a chance.  Just think they won't like it cause its “raw fish”.
1:09 PM Mr. Silver
People don't eat a lot of “dangerous food”...it always amazed me, some reactions.
Simple prejudice.
"Chi-NESE food?  I won't touch THAT!  You know what's IN that?" 
"Yes...very well, and can cook some of it.  What do you think is in it?"
1:11 PM Mr. Blue
"Proteins, fats and carbohydrates, same as any food."
1:11 PM Mr. Silver
"Often crafted to a degree of sophistication beyond your dreams.  But please…enjoy your chipped ham, plastic wrapped processed cheese slice and Miracle Whip on white Wonder Bread."
1:13 PM Mr. Blue
I know more people that scoff at sushi than like it
1:13 PM Mr. Blue
Sushi, in particular is good, AND not bad for you.  It’s possibly even good for you.
1:14 PM Mr. Silver
Except for that spicy tuna issue a while back.
Which I think was the only case of tainted sushi I've ever heard of.
I can tell you that opening that little bit of news on the day after having spicy tuna and having to call off work was a bit of a downer
"Great.  Salmonella. And here I thought it was the eel...silly me."
Coincidence though.  I was fine.
1:17 PM Mr. Blue
It was probably the sauce's fault.
I’d like some sashimi now


9:02 AM Mr. Brown
9:13 AM Mr. Silver
Of course my personal favorite would be the Bantam Jeep monument in Butler PA.  I saw it at the Jeep Festival.
(committee member) "It says here that you're unable to draw in perspective, but are cheap."
(artist) "That's correct."
(committee member) "Excellent!  Welcome to the project.  Let's get to it.  What we really were looking for was a boxy representation of something jeep-like, but doesn't look like a Bantam jeep.  And we want the angles all F'd up."
(artist) "I'm on it."
9:18 AM Mr. Blue
I dunno what you're talking about
Where is it?
9:18 AM Mr. Silver
Diamond Park in Butler PA
9:19 AM Mr. Blue
Ah, I’ll have to check it out.
9:42 AM Mr. Silver
9:48 AM Mr. Blue
Oh I see.  It looks unfinished: floating wheels, uneven grill, no undercarriage.
9:51 AM Mr. Silver
And drawn as if it was a model made from a shoebox.
11:34 AM Mr. Silver
So did everyone get gum and sunflower seeds?
I was thinking this was maybe our Christmas bonus, but there was no announcement.
11:37 AM Mr. Blue
I did.  I figured it was baseball related.
11:37 AM Mr. Silver
This gum is hard to chew with all these seed hulls mixed in.
11:37 AM Mr. Blue
Where’s the chaw?
I recall a movie where a guy took a golf-ball sized amount of chew and wrapped bubble gum around it.
“Rookie of the Year”, maybe.
11:39 AM Mr. Silver
"All agents should enjoy the full rich flavor of the Mail Pouch tobacco placed on each of your desks"
11:39 AM Mr. Blue
lol
11:42 AM Mr. Silver
"And it's a national imperative that you vote tobacco this year, or the USA will be destroyed by special interests and health-terrorist commies."
11:44 AM Mr. Blue
"3 out of 5 physicians recommend Red Man Long Cut tobacco."
 


(The following Mr. Brown comments are unedited for our mutual enjoyment - Mr. Silver)
2:07 PM Mr. Brown
i think I’m going to buy some 100% guava tequila.
2:07 PM Mr. Blue
Knock yourself out.
2:08 PM Mr. Silver
Tequila can manage to knock him out with minimal effort on his part, I’m sure.
2:08 PM Mr. Brown
i've been craving it lately for some reason
i just wan't teguila
tequila
2:09 PM Mr. Silver
He's already drunk just thinking about it.
2:11 PM Mr. Brown
wait i said wrong thing
lol
100% agave tequila
2:11 PM Mr. Silver
Awww. he caught it...
You looked it up, right?
2:12 PM Mr. Brown
yeah
2:15 PM Mr. Blue
2:21 PM Mr. Blue
Ask the liquor store for their finest bum wine
2:26 PM Mr. Silver
"Pardon me, my good man, but I was unfortunately required to leave my collection of toilet wines in stir when I was recently discharged from the establishment.  I'm entertaining colleagues at my new flat behind this storefront this very evening, and I was hoping you could show me to your finest vintage of Mad Dog, or perhaps to a palatable Night Train Express."
2:27 PM Mr. Blue
lol
2:30 PM Mr. Brown
Mmm… Thunderbird.



Mr. Brown
http://www.ksat.com/news/Vampire-bats-bite-San-Antonio-man-during-camping-trip-in-Johnson-City/-/478452/16626970/-/1bgqu4/-/index.html?hpt=us_bn8
11:20 AM Mr. Silver
"Rusten Ramsey, who was born full-grown with no interest in anything at all, never even heard of vampire bats."
"Apparently all the kids know about them and think they are cool." he said to reporters
11:22 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
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