338 - Putting Alternative Healing In Its Place-bo, As Offensive As A Native American Wearing Traditional Garb, Scary Bangz, and Loose Leopards Rioting In The Streets

12:48 PM Mr. Blue

Of course, the placebo effect can work for anyone.

So if you buy into it, it might work.

12:52 PM Mr. Blue

They've done studies where they give someone a placebo...*tell them* it's a placebo...and it still works.

12:52 PM Mr. Silver

That's my favorite placebo study!  I was going to mention it next!

12:54 PM Mr. Blue

I'm not sure what they were curing with it.

12:54 PM Mr. Silver

I wanted to verify how many of the subjects knew what “placebo” meant.

12:54 PM Mr. Blue

Yes. I'd like to see a placebo study done where they take the people where the placebo worked, and average out their IQs vs the IQs of the placebo group where it did not work.

Is there a correlation between intelligence and or general knowledge of what a placebo is and whether or not it works?

Will someone with a PhD be as likely to respond to a placebo as Joe Blow?

12:56 PM Mr. Silver

Well, did they stay all clinical and use terminology on these people...or did they say: "This is fake medicine and it does nothing.  Take 2 a day and tell us when you feel better."

12:57 PM Mr. Blue

An example I can come up with is I bought Claritin Non-drowsy with pseudo-ephedrine in it once and took one...and was wired all through the night.  I couldn't sleep, I was up doing all kinds of stuff and my brain was all foggy. I even went to the gym.  I checked the packaging a few days later and realized it was just regular Claritin...no pseudo-ephedrine

12:58 PM Mr. Brown

Did you automatically believe it would do that to you?

12:58 PM Mr. Blue

I thought I was taking pseudo-ephedrine, so apparently I did.

1:00 PM Mr. Silver

The effect of alcoholic drinks with no alcohol are funny. It has been verified that the very act of someone going to get alcohol makes them start displaying symptoms of intoxication.

1:01 PM Mr. Blue

How do placebos cure real, verifiable diseases and disorders?

1:01 PM Mr. Brown

Because our bodies can do way more than we believe they can.

1:01 PM Mr. Silver

No one knows...so people study placebos.

Anesthetics and painkillers shouldn't work either. But they do.

1:02 PM Mr. Blue

If you give someone a pill and tell them it's going to make them grow a 3rd arm...those people won't grow a 3rd arm.

What percentage of people do placebos work for something very real and very serious and very obvious, like cancer?

It's probably a sliding scale.

1:03 PM Mr. Brown

Well, cancer is something your own body makes; its a part of you in the first place.

1:03 PM Mr. Blue

Yes.

1:03 PM Mr. Brown

So you start believing that its being cured, and your body says 'hey lets get rid of this'. Then it will happen.

1:03 PM Mr. Silver

There was an intensive study in the last few years to finally determine how a bicycle stays up.  Conclusion: unknown...all theories invalidated.

1:03 PM Mr. Blue

God got lazy.

1:04 PM Mr. Silver

These examples are just two of the compelling reasons I doubt this life is anything more than a simulation.

1:06 PM Mr. Blue

But I don't think of the universe in that way, so will I see different results to medicine?

Will certain people respond better to pharmaceuticals vs. new age stuff, depending on their personality, intelligence, etc.?

1:08 PM Mr. Brown

Its the idea of deciding what your body is capable of.

If you believe entirely that you can cure yourself of anything, no help from anybody,

I believe there is a good chance you will.

But that is also something very hard to prove or study.

Look at people who somehow lift cars, or that stay alive long enough to complete something they have to do when they should have died, like, hours ago.

1:14 PM Mr. Brown

I believe in the moment you believe that you have no control, then you won't have control.

1:36 PM Mr. Silver

Well...yeah. You consciously surrendered.

1:51 PM Mr. Brown

I like how this oil says nothing about how much to take a day.

LOL

1:59 PM Mr. Silver

Nope.

1:59 PM Mr. Brown

“I drank an entire bottle threw up. i guess that was too much.”

LOL

I wonder if somebody has done that?

2:04 PM Mr. Silver

Silly question. People aren't very bright, you know...

11:49 AM Mr. Silver

I see Margaret Cho's headline about impersonating a North Korean turned from "racist" to "promoting a racist stereotype". Someone must have noticed she's half Korean.

11:50 AM Mr. Brown

Hahah

Yeah, I never understood that one. I looked at it and went “Um yeah, except she is making fun of what she is.”

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

Sorry folks...it's merely political lampooning now.

Is me adopting an English accent racist?

11:51 AM Mr. Blue

'parently.

That's been Cho's shtick for like 15 years - making fun of her parents.

I still do my grandma's accent; she couldn't say "Doobie Brothers" right.

11:51 AM Mr. Silver

"Man...Silver's in for it...he went to the party in Brit-Face."

"Disgusting...you'd think he would have learned from Blue's German-Face thing last year."

11:56 AM Mr. Blue

It's probably just white people complaining because if they did it, they'd be in trouble.

Mr. Blue

It's pretty cool that Zildjian started as noise makers Ottoman's used to use to frighten their enemies in the early 1600s.

Now they're noise makers that teens use to frighten their parents!!!!

Come on folks!

1:51 PM Mr. Amethyst

Ba dum tsh!!

1:55 PM Mr. Silver

^

So the ideal terror instrument would be a bagpipe topped with Aztec death whistles and a cymbal attachment.

2:21 PM Mr. Blue

Maybe just Miley Cyrus' album Bangerz!!!!!

Remember to tip your waitress! I'm here all week!

Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2906641/GRAPHIC-CONTENT-WARNING-Officials-hunt-shoot-dead-leopard-escaped-Indian-compound-locals-streets-armed-lengths-wood-knives.html

For a boost to the economy, the releasing of leopards has created new jobs.

7:17 AM Mr. Silver

Not quite up to the FPS quality of the other Loose Leopard story.

(Appallingly, lost. We were hilarious – Mr. Silver)

7:17 AM Mr. Brown

An old car tyre.

7:17 AM Mr. Silver

...?

7:19 AM Mr. Brown

That is in that story.

7:21 AM Mr. Silver

"There's a leopard loose!"

"Quick! Build a fire in the middle of the road!"

"Uhh..."

7:23 AM Mr. Brown

"Here y'all! I gots a tyre!"

7:25 AM Mr. Silver

Many leopard-hunting mobs make the mistake of not lighting a fire in the middle of the street and smashing government vehicles. However this is a known successful strategy for confusing leopards...and international audiences.

7:35 AM Mr. Silver

(Cries)

I just looked, and I didn't save the other Loose Leopard chat!

(See “appalling loss” - Mr. Silver)

8:21 AM Mr. Blue

Darn...I root for the leopards in India.

There's too many people as it is; obviously the leopards feel the same.

8:25 AM Mr. Blue

Instead of killing man-eating mega-fauna, we should offer them retirement packages in cushy animal sanctuaries.

8:26 AM Mr. Silver

So, you’re suggesting we treat them the same as any other white-collar man-eating mega-tycoon human?

8:26 AM Mr. Blue

Yes.

Like the Tsavo lions: "They're not killing for food...they're doing it for the sport!!!" "So...just like you do?"

8:29 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

8:29 AM Mr. Brown

I just hate when they have to go kill stuff like that because WE messed up.

It's not the animal's fault.

8:29 AM Mr. Blue

Yeah. We encroached on their territory. Maybe a couple hundred years ago I can see that if a man eater shows up in a town, you kill it. The animals had plenty of open space to do their thing. Now, they don't.

8:31 AM Mr. Brown

Right and the fact that this one escaped a place that humans had it.

So we even put it there. Instead of recapturing it, they just kill it. Makes no sense.

8:59 AM Mr. Silver

The point you're missing here is that leopards cause tire fires in the middle of streets and incite the destruction of government vehicles.

You put these beasts back out in the wild with tires and vehicles, and it'll just be a disaster.

Wait...that's stupid humans, not leopards...nevermind.

9:02 AM Mr. Amethyst

I'm OK with this.

9:02 AM Mr. Silver

Putting stupid humans out in the wild?

9:22 AM Mr. Brown

I’m eating stupid deer right now.

Stupid human is probably bitter.

9:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

^

337 - "The 6 Million Dollar Laxative", "Keeping Up With The Beta Reticulans", Something Went Wrong With The Brown Boys, A Hot Star Freezes, Kramp-bo, and River Cop Adventures Are All Wet

Mr. Brown

Wow! 500 dollars to save a goldfish.

I wonder how old the fish is by now.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2893453/Devoted-pet-owner-spends-300-save-GOLDFISH-constipated.html

8:27 AM Mr. Silver

(dramatic music...montage of explosions...medical procedures...field testing) "Stone Cold...goldfish. A fish barely alive.  Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.  We have the technology.  We have the capability to build the world's first bionic fish. Stone Cold will be that fish.  Better than he was before.  Better...stronger...faster."

8:29 AM Mr. Brown

They paid 500 dollars to fix its constipation.

Um no.

8:33 AM Mr. Silver

That's just sad...my version is glorious.

10:52 AM Mr. Brown

Somebody moved into a house on my road.

They have a stone that says “The Greys”.

11:06 AM Mr. Silver

Aliens, Mr. Brown?

11:07 AM Mr. Blue

Heh... Nice sitcom idea: “The Greys”

11:11 AM Mr. Silver

Mrs. Jones "Honey? The Greys invited us over for barbecue again.  Wanna go?"

Mr. Jones "I dunno...Can we pass?  Nice family, but I can never remember what we talked about and I'm uncomfortable sitting down for a couple days after."

(audience laughs)

Mrs. Jones "Mrs. Grey was telling me they have a new probe they want to show off."

Mr. Jones "A new Probe?  Ford ended the line in '97."

Mrs. Jones "Well, that's what she said.  (looks out window) Nothing in the driveway.  Maybe they are out."

Mr. Jones "Hmm...you know me, I'm a Ford man.  So, a new Probe huh? They must have brought it back.  Yeah!  Tell them we'll be there...tails a' waggin'." (bends over, shakes behind)

(audience laughs, hoots)

11:26 AM Mr. Blue

I picture a lot of "wooooOOOOHHHH!" noises from the audience when they insert the probe – like in normal sitcoms when 2 people kiss.

"So what kinda work you in Mr. Grey?"

"Cattle."

"Ahh, agriculture! Selling? Raising?"

"Dissecting."

12:30 PM Mr. Brown

I gave my new son a nickname.

I call him Bobo.

LOL

And Junior gets Doodles.

We will see if they stick or if they grow to new ones.

12:35 PM Mr. Silver

(headline) "Local Children Hate Nicknames, Parents"

12:37 PM Mr. Blue

The future Menendez brothers.

12:38 PM Mr. Silver

Known in crime history as "The Bobo-Doodles Tragedy"

Mr. Silver

So, my favorite bit from New Years Eve...

12:58 PM Mr. Brown

I stayed up till midnight but I did not watch the ball.

1:02 PM Mr. Silver

Well we ate fondue, had some drinks, and giggled at Kathy Griffin tormenting Anderson Cooper...the usual.

And right at the end we decided to switch to “Dick Clark's Undead Rockin' New Year” in time for Taylor Swift's performance.

She's grown on me a bit.

So I had no problem watching her strut about on the stage.

But...

She came out in tight pants, a wee halter top with a lot of exposed skin, and a silver sequined jacket...a thin and none-too-big jacket either.

She did song #1.

And took off the jacket for song #2.

I said "Jesus! She HAS to be freezing!"

She wasn't showing it though – all bright smiles and pep.

1:15 PM Mr. Blue

She’s attractive, and I’ve heard 1-2 songs from her that are good. Most aren't, but 2 good songs (to me) is better than a lot of other pop artists.

1:21 PM Mr. Silver

Yes.

Anyway, she finishes to roaring applause, and there’s a commercial break.

So we come back to the show and:

#1. Ryan Seacrest turned out to be a wee little elf of a man…I'd never noticed before.  They were side-by-side and she looked a foot taller than him.

#2. She was dying of hypothermia and getting delirious.

(Seacrest) "Hey! Great performance out there!  Are you having a good time?"

(whimper as Taylor suffers traumatic age regression) “…This was a bad outfit."

"Haha!  Grea-* OH! Lemme give you my coat!"

(dazedly watches Ryan struggle with audio wires to get coat off.) "What are you doing? Are you a pervert?  Why are you undressing?"

1:31 PM Mr. Blue

LOL

1:31 PM Mr. Silver

Meanwhile all of One Direction are standing right there, bundled up for the Arctic, doing nothing.

Seacrest wraps her up.

(Taylor sluggishly registers this) "Oh... Ok... Thank you."

1:32 PM Mr. Brown

SSSH SHHH SHHHAke it off-ffff-fff-ffff-ffffff

Mr. Brown

Ok, Mr. Silver, so I was looking at the Krampus card that jake has, and was thinking: “Hmm. That face looks a bit familiar to me. Tony Danza? No. Hmm. Oh! Yes, its Stalone.

Then we got on the subject of a Krampus movie starring Stallone.

LOL

1:31 PM Mr. Brown

(Movie voice ) This Christmas you thought all was jolly...

(Stallone voice) “Eh yo! Kid you've been a bad boy. Get in the sack, I am the Krampus."

1:31 PM Mr. Blue

LOL

1:35 PM Mr. Brown

Look out its Krampbo.

Standing in the dark woods. Horns, and what looks like the outline of a M60 in the moonlight.

1:44 PM Mr. Silver

So a Krampus vigilante/loose cannon cop thing? 

1:44 PM Mr. Brown

Or an in the forest Rambo like thing.

1:46 PM Mr. Silver

(dark wet streets, bad part of the city, Stallone in fur and horns is surrounded by goons. The Boss steps into the circle)

"So...you're the big bad Krampus.”

(Stallone) “Yeah. I'm the big bad Krampus.”

“Looks like you have a problem, big bad Krampus.”

(Stallone) “I ain't gotta problem.”

“I think you do. See, we've got all the guns, and you've got...what does he got, Manny?"

(Manny) "Looks like a big cow bell and a buncha weeds, boss."

"A bell and weeds.  That's great."

(Shots of thugs all laughing)

(Stallone) "Yo. Don't forget the basket."

"OOO!  Manny!  How rude of you to forget the basket.  So Krampus...what do you think you can do, huh?"

(Stallone) "You boys been bad?"

"Huh?  Bad?  What's that mean?"

(Stallone) "I'll talk slow for you. Have ... you ... been ... bad?"

"Bad?  Yeah.  Yeah!  We've been bad.  What of it?"

(Stallone)  "That's all I need."

(10 minutes of unimaginable violence requiring filming in black and white to get NC-17 rating)

9:39 AM Mr. Blue

I started watching a documentary, or really more like a school project, called “Los Angeles Plays Itself”.

It just shows clips of movies with prominent LA locations, buildings, etc.

Like the Ennis House and the Bradbury Building - both used in Bladerunner and like 15 other movies.

It was funny when they'd point out movies set in places like Chicago but you can see they have, like, palm trees in the background.

There's a McDonald's restaurant in LA that is permanently closed...it's only used for filming. It looks like any other McDonald's, except there's a gate blocking the entrance.

9:42 AM Mr. Silver

Hehe

9:43 AM Mr. Blue

They also brought up something I noticed from “Cobra”. The chase scene drastically changes to different parts of LA. In 5 minutes they cover a few hundred miles: the

Venice Canals, Port of LA, some commercial district.

10:07 AM Mr. Brown

Chase scenes are always like that. If you know the area they are in, you can always catch them jumping miles.

10:08 AM Mr. Blue

Cobra's was pretty ridiculous

Jumping from a residential neighborhood... round a corner... massive loading dock with

huge container ships...

10:10 AM Mr. Silver

“Striking Distance” made most Pittsburghers giggle, as I recall.

10:12 AM Mr. Blue

Hmm, you mean the river one?

10:14 AM Mr. Silver

Yeah.

10:15 AM Mr. Blue

I don't think I ever saw it.

10:15 AM Mr. Silver

It had those teleporter chase scenes in it.

10:16 AM Mr. Blue

It seems like a concept that was doomed.

"Cops... but with boats!!!"

10:17 AM Mr. Brown

The boat cops idea is good but the story was dumb.

10:17 AM Mr. Silver

I saw it in the theater. The entirety of my memory of the movie was a 1 second clip of Bruce Willis driving a boat...from the TV commercial.

10:18 AM Mr. Blue

Boat cops is a bad idea.

10:18 AM Mr. Brown

I still think boat cops is cool idea.

10:18 AM Mr. Blue

It is bad.

10:18 AM Mr. Brown

But it needed a better story.

It would be better if it was about something a boat cop would take care of, for sure.

Like they catch terrorists coming in on the rivers.

10:19 AM Mr. Blue

(Villain on the boat radio) "There's a coal barge on the Mon... if it slows down to 5 knots per hour, the barge blows up. If you try to remove the coal I blow the barge.  Let's see what you got, hot shot!"

The rivers are dumb because there's locks every 5 miles, so nobody can sneak around on them.

10:21 AM Mr. Silver

(Bruce Willis, intense river cop, yelling on PA) "Hey!  15MPH guys!  You got beer on there?  All closed? OK. Got a picnic spot?  Good.  I'm swinging back in 10...I better see you there!"

10:25 AM Mr. Brown

I guess the premise of the film was not all about boat police. It was just about the hero getting thrown into the one police job nobody wants in Pittsburgh.

But they sold it like boat cops.

“Bad boys bad boys, what ya gonna do? Jump into the river, current gonna get you.”

10:38 AM Mr. Blue

They did a spoof of a river cops TV show on The Simpsons.

The bad guy would escape on land... "Oh damn, looks like he got away. No wait, there's a canal!"

There'd always be a canal.

11:05 AM Mr. Silver

Heh