358a - Ruining Brown Jr's First Interview, "Trinity's Company", Brown Jr. Really Spanks His Interview, and Gaming Is A Religious Experience For Some

Mr. Brown:

Have one of those teacher meet and greet things at our house tonight

Where the teacher comes and meets Brown Jr.

Seems strange to me

LOL

Mr. Amethyst:

Yeah, that's odd.

Ms. Rose:

Probably just gonna case your house for potential robbery. :P

Mr. Brown:

Probably because its a private school

Mr. Amethyst:

That'll do it

Mr. Silver:

"There's not enough crosses and pictures of Jesus in the house." (marks form)

Mr. Brown:

I don't like the idea of somebody coming into my home, though, like that.

I feel like they are going to look at something out of place and say “how are you raising these kids this is horrible”

Um no. My house is fine.

Probably looking for ammo for when Junior screws up

"Oh no WONDER! The house was filled with toys! He's spoiled!"

Ms. Rose:

You'll be fine as long as they don't give you a spelling/grammar test.

Mr. Brown:

LOL

Hopefully they don't test me.

Mr. Blue:

If they do you can just, uhh, take your money back and go somewhere else?

Mr. Brown:

LOL

Ms. Rose:

Oh, and the house fly thing: Probably want to hide the yellow sticky strips hanging from the ceiling. LOL

Mr. Silver:

(Sneak up to Brown Jr. with big red crayon) "Hi, I'm a friend of your dad's. He wanted to know if you can draw an upside-down star in a circle?  You can?  He wants you to draw them all over the house.  It's a game like hide n seek!"

Mr. Brown:

Yeah I know Ms. Rose

The flies will still be swooping in and out just as bad as the stink bugs and beetles

Mr. Silver:

Yes...between his pentagrams and the flies, you're doomed on this teacher visit.

Mr. Blue:

I'm going to show up halfway through the meeting in corpse paint

Mr. Silver:

"Maaaster...."

Mr. Blue:

"I'm here for the séance."

Mr. Silver:

"I haaad the bloood...but was sooooo thirsty.  Pleeease don't burn my hands agaaaain."

Mr. Blue:

"The Box... you opened it.... we came..."

Mr. Brown:

I have a picture that is a hologram of Jesus knocking on a door

I should hang it up right up front where you can see it in all it's glory

"Is that Jesus? And is he knocking when I move my head back and forth?"

Mr. Silver:

"Jesus?  Nah...had that made of my weirdo New Age landlord when we lived in California.  Watch his lips.  "You got my rent?  You got my rent?"  Hilarious!”

Mr. Brown:

Kinda like Jesus is the new character on Three's Company

I can see the scene in the credits with the 3-person bike: Old man God, Young Jesus, empty seat for the Holy Ghost 

Mr. Silver:

(music starts) "Jesus knock on our door...we'll be waitin' for you..."

(sings) "We've a lovable space that needs your faith, Three's company too!"

Mr. Brown:

"Where the blessings are Yours and Yours and Yours, Three's Company too"

Mr. Silver: 

"Trinity's Company"

Mr. Blue:

Heh

Mr. Brown:

WOWO

Mr. Silver:

(I don't often have to back off laughing and tearing up from my own gags, but I've had to block “Trinity's Company” consciously to take this call)

Mr. Blue:

Heh

Mr. Silver

Mr. Roper "And uh...you're sure he's holy?"

Chrissy "Oh! Totally holy."

Mr. Roper "You don't see any...holy stuff going on?"

Chrissy "Well, he comes in to bless the water in my shower every morning."

(audience laughs)

One left... John Ritter as Jesus "Jack" Christ

(Janet's buxom friend) "She's asleep in her room after our work out and I'm all hot and sweaty.  Can I change clothes in your room?"

(Jesus, nervously) "UhhhhHHH!  ... Sure!"

(She hugs him)  "You're sweet!  You'll have to tell me some way I can pay you back!  (exits to back of apt)

(Jesus, clapping hands nervously) "Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy....I'm the Lordy Lordy Lordy..."

(Her calling out) "Jesus?  Can you pass me in a wet washcloth and a towel?  I can't come get it, I don't have anything on."

(Jesus) "LORDY LORDY LORDY!!!  OK! I'll be right in - right there!"

Watched too much of that dumb show...but then there was less on TV.

Mr. Brown:

So the teacher meeting went well

She seems to be a nice teacher that would not take any crap if Junior gets out of hand

I like that. LOL

Mr. Blue:

Did she report the flies and improvised weapons to CYS?

Mr. Silver:

(looks down nose) "Oh, I can assure you...Mister Brown...that Junior's education will finally be in good hands very soon."

"Will we get to visit his class sometime too?"

"Visitation?  That's up to the authorities..."

"So we need to talk to the principal or something?"

"... Sure..."

Mr. Brown:

LOL

I hate that good parents that do everything they can for their kids end up having to worry that somebody is going to take their kids from them for any little thing that somebody deems incorrect.

“Sorry my kid was being a brat and I gave him one good smack in public.”

Mr. Blue:

I think spanking can officially be retired as a parenting technique

Mr. Brown:

Hey. Kid back talks. One little tap on the mouth stops it quick.

Then you can talk about it.

Mr. Blue:

But it teaches him that violence and aggression will get him what he wants out of other people. Someone in school says something you don't like.. "Hmm... Where have I learned to deal with this sort of situation?" *smack*

(I do not agree that this is what spanking teaches anyone who isn't already dysfunctional, but I was too busy to say anything - Mr. Silver)

Mr. Brown:

You would not do it all the time. Parents that do that are doing it wrong. Its when all other options are exhausted.

I rarely do it. Like really rarely.

But one person sees it happen and it's been years since I ever done it then I'm a bad parent. That's what I hate.

Not saying your wrong on that though, Mr. Blue.

I don't want to teach my kid hitting is good.

Mr. Blue:

I don't think you're wrong either, I just wouldn't do it.

It's not the end of the world.

Mr. Brown:

Just wait till you deal with a screaming child. LOL

Mr. Blue:

LOL yep

Mr. Blue:

Did ya'll see that clip of that John Oliver show where he was exposing televangelists, and said it was so easy to become a tax-free church that he registered his TV show as a church.

And now he's trying to see if the IRS will let him become tax exempt.

Mr. Silver:

Yes...was already planning one with Mr. Gray

Mr. Blue:

A church?

Mr. Silver:

Yup

Mr. Blue:

Good idea

Mr. Silver:

"Perpetual Roleplaying Gamers"

Mr. Blue:

I want in

I want my home to be a parsonage

Mr. Silver:

Wellllll...have you accepted gaming into your life?

Mr. Blue:

Not really

Mr. Silver:

Can you quote from any Player's Handbooks?

We can talk conversion.

Mr. Blue:

I'm trying to Google Pennsylvania church tax laws and all I'm getting is a bunch of PA laws about protecting kids from church abuse

Mr. Brown:

LOL

Mr. Silver:

Nice

Mr. Blue:

Religion is soooooo good for everyone

Mr. Silver:

"The following Lutheran parochial school teachers have been investigated for inappropriate home visits."

Mr. Blue:

Heh

Mr. Silver:

Religion has had it's uses

Too bad no one can agree on any of them.

357a - An Abundance Of False Flags, Mr. Amethyst Also Needs Some Rocket Skates, "Finding Amend-Foot", Suspicious Footwear, and I Guarantee The Ghost Hotel Has Made A Lot Of Money For Somebody

Mr. Silver:

So heard this one with disbelief this morning and had to look it up: 

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/422399/so-now-powmia-flag-under-fire-symbol-racist-hate-david-french

Mr. Brown:

Hogwash

Mr. Silver:

Pretty big stretch

"We fought non-white foreign people!  So therefore..."

Mr. Brown:

The MIA on it stands for all MIA now and then.

Same for the POW

Mr. Silver:

Yup

Mr. Brown:

I never looked at it for any one specific war.

So yeah that guy needs punched

Mr. Silver:

"I wanna be in the news!"

We might as well extrapolate out to how the USA flag is a symbol of hate, because by this twit's logic, it definitely is.

"...and to the republic, which massacred all those injuns and enslaved all those Africans and exploited all them coolies and stuff...and the wars and etc...one nation...who tried to kill off all the Mormons for example...and..."

Ms. Rose:

HA!

Mr. Amethyst:

Anyone have an anvil?

Mr. Silver:

In my other pants.

I thought you already had one.

Mr. Amethyst:

I have a small one

I want a bigger one, this next check has little/no bills so I'm getting the forge refined

Mr. Silver:

I have an ACME Anti-Roadrunner model

Only used once

Mr. Amethyst:

LOL

Mr. Silver:

Turns out the original owner didn't understand that "anti-roadrunner" meant "can't harm roadrunners".  He told me in the hospital he didn't see the small print til too late.

(Here, for reference - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ApRYGvqZNI - Mr. Silver)

Mr. Brown:

There was an Amend sighting again - this time he is here in the city.

Ms. Rose:

You're obsessed, Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown:

Yes!  You would be too if he was running around near your home originally.

Mr. Silver:

"Amend in the City"  Starring Sarah Jessica Parker and her violent boyfriend

Mr. Amethyst:

You know, I suspect they'll find Bigfoot first

Mr. Silver:

Amend IS Bigfoot

Mr. Brown:

LOL!

Mr. Amethyst:

That's why, in a world of cameras, no one got his picture

Ms. Rose:

I'm telling you, he's just assimilated with the culture in and around Butler and is blending in with the rest of the old, bald, fat, shirtless population. Needle in a haystack...

Mr. Blue:

I am curious how a fat guy got from outside East Butler to The Island in a couple days without being noticed?

Unless he swam Connoquenessing Creek, or it's bogus.

Mr. Brown:

People are saying he followed the train tracks

I mean, in a survival situation if you come across train tracks you follow them.

In his situation the tracks would have less traffic.

However I will say this - it is just people on a Facebook page saying where he has been seen, so I don't 100% believe them.

Mr. Blue:

The tracks don't connect to 68 until you're past 422 though

Mr. Silver:

"In the end, there was no Amend..."

What a terrible movie...

Mr. Blue:

Heheh

(on phone) "Face like spinach dip? No dental records..."

"We found your husband."

"How is he?"

"Two words: closed casket."

Mr. Brown:

I just said that today, Mr Silver. What if he does not exist?

Or the Bigfoot aliens just picked him up took him away?

LOL

Mr. Blue:

He's a false flag

Mr. Silver:

"Psychologists call it Mass Amend Hysteria...it's an early 21st century phenomenon"

Mr. Blue:

I wouldn't put it past this area to suffer from a mass hysteria

Not that Amend doesn't exist, but that he does and all these sightings are just dumb people succumbing to paranoia

Mr. Brown:

Yeah. I told you yesterday I had an episode of that and I shook it off. I realized I could not have seen him

Mr. Blue:

Turns out it was just a squirrel

Mr. Brown:

LOL

Watch they never catch him. Then years down the road, Amend's book about escaping the police ends up on book selves

Mr. Blue:

"Crashed into a trailer park... found some train tracks... walked until I couldn't hear sirens..."

Mr. Brown:

“You see I was running from the law when I ran into a Bigfoot. He took me in and taught me how to hide.”

Mr. Silver:

(show voiceover) "This week on Finding Bigfoot, the team heads to Butler County PA to try their techniques to track down the elusive Robert Amend."

(Cliff on walkie talkie) "Bobo is going to try a call in 10."

(Renee) "Got it..."

(Bobo...preps) "Lllliiiiight Beeeeeeer!"

(Renee) "We heard it.  Matt's gonna call back."

(Cliff) "Ok, go."

(Matt preps) "Hooooot Wiiiiings!"

(Renee) "Done."

(Camera cuts of everyone listening...faint noise...)

(Matt, excited) "I heard it say 'Big Screen TV!!!'."

(Bobo) "I'm going to pop a couple cans...see if we can draw it in."

(TSssst-crack!   TSsst-crack!)

(Renee) "I've got...like...a dozen guys heading towards us on the thermal."

(Cliff) "Awesome!  Any big fat ones like we're looking for?"

(Renee) "Yeah...ALL of 'em."

(Matt, turning on regular lights) "Hey, guys!  Nice night!  Any of you see that Amend guy?"

(All raise hands.  Matt gets out a map and a marker.) 

Mr. Silver:

(dip Pittsburgh official) "I just don't understand the police conduct in this case.  If the murder weapon was a shoelace, when they examined the apartment, why didn't they look for shoes?"

(me in voice of guy from 'Spinal Tap') "You can't really…dust for shoes."

"Police are looking for the mate to this shoe (pictured) in connection with the crime, though no charges have been made against it, and it is just a shoe of interest."

Mr. Blue:

"Officials warn the shoe should be considered comfortable and stylish.  Viewers are urged not to try to wear it, but to call for help."

Mr. Silver:

Perhaps the guy thinks the police should try the Cinderella technique and expects it will only fit the killer.

Mr. Silver:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3195275/Inside-Sicily-s-ghost-hotel-built-61-years-ago-grand-openings-not-one-guest-checked-in.html

Mr. Blue:

Accidentally left the "No Vacancy" sign up for 61 years

Mr. Silver:

"Incredibly despite years of building works and subsequent redevelopment, the hotel was not properly connected to a drainage system”

(Interviewee) “I mean, in Sicily 1954 when it was started this was no big deal, but by the late 90s sewers were mandatory in the building codes..."

Mr. Blue:

“Aye!  Paizon!  I tell you what-uh I’m gonna do.  I make a reservation you cannot-uh refuse!"

Mr. Silver:

So basically it's made some unnamed "people in contracting" a ton of money for 60 years, by screwing anyone who they "compelled to be interested in investing in a business proposition" (wink wink)

(Mafia goon) "The boss sez we need ta find some investors for The Grande Cash-Cow Hotel again."

(Second mafia goon) "Right...lets see whos doin' OK what we gots some doit on."

Mr. Brown:

LOL

Mr. Blue:

Heheh