Mr.
Blue:
Tell
ya what these ISIS guys... not my kinda people
Mr.
Silver:
They're
an embarrassment
Mr.
Blue:
Throwing
gays off roofs and burning adulterous women is one thing.. blowing up
Roman ruins is quite another IMO
Mr.
Brown:
Yeah
they are just doing stuff to do it
They
are following nothing
Mr.
Silver:
Oh,
no
They
think
the ancient culture stuff is a source of distraction and idolatry and
needs removed.
Mr.
Brown:
Oh
yeah, studying our history is such a distraction
Mr.
Silver:
It's
quite ironic that ISIS is stupidly destroying stuff that no one
idolizes and are only culturally interested in because it is
ancient...and they validate their actions by citing principles that
are, themselves, pathetically ancient
Mr.
Blue:
It's
in their bible
Or
it's a literal interpretation of sharia law
They
don't even hang onto history like... Mohammad's birthplace. I'm
pretty sure they destroyed or want to destroy that because they don't
want it to become a pilgrimage site
because
that's idolatry
Mr.
Brown:
Yet
they show themselves sitting with women and money
“Look
at our new truck”
Mr.
Blue:
The
Ottomans were cool because they weren't so strict
They
embraced history and art / culture / architecture
Mr.
Brown:
“Just
got a batch of new guns”
Picture
on Facebook
Mr.
Blue:
I'm
not Facebook friends with anyone in ISIS Mr Brown...are you?
Mr. Brown:
No
I'm
just saying I see stuff in the news all the time of them putting
idolatrous stuff on Facebook or online, yet they destroy other
people's stuff to stamp out idolatry.
Mr.
Blue:
I
hope they don't reach Petra
I
wanna see that before I die
Mr.
Silver:
Positive
positioning, sir!
"I'd
like to see that before they
die."
Mr.
Blue:
On
the other hand, one way to look at it is - Islam is still a
relatively young religion.
It's
only like 1300 years old or something, so they're 700 years behind
Christianity.
Christianity
was pretty archaic 700 years ago.
Still
is, in some parts
Mr.
Silver:
I
haven't posted that blog I don't think. The one that basically
invalidates the whole faith.
(I
did...posted it on Day 355 before one of my extended breaks. It was September 2015. Not that anyone
read it, mind you. I expected death threats at the time, but it just
rolled quietly into the dusty archives of the internet, unviewed –
Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Blue:
Islam?
Mr.
Silver:
Yup
Mr.
Blue:
You
can invalidate Christianity pretty easily, too
Technically
Judaism is the only true faith of the Abrahamic ones
Mr.
Silver:
Oh
but this one was super easy.
Mr.
Blue:
Mormonism?
Easy
“Mormonism?
Yeah, all that history stuff? If you check, none of it ever happened."
Mr.
Silver:
Yes
Unlike
Mormonisms made-up history, the Muslims recorded actual verifiable
events. But despite everything in the historical record, the key to
Islam is that Mohammad was the ultimate prophet of Allah. And...
Mohammad's
first revelation is incorrect.
He
made it up, was delusional, or was lied to by whoever was claiming to
be Gabriel
Now
it's not that he made some wise assertion that was just stupid, or
predicted something that failed.
No
Abrahamic
faiths are based on revelation of the infallible true word of God.
The
Old Testament is literally
correct. Jesus is a major prophet in Islam and it all happened for
real, just as it was written in the Bible.
And
one day Mohammad comes out of isolation and tells people that an
archangel, Gabriel, spoke to him.
He
said:
"Proclaim!
(or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who
created-
Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood:
Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-
Who taught (the use of) the pen,-
Taught man that which he knew not."
Created man, out of a (mere) clot of congealed blood:
Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,-
Who taught (the use of) the pen,-
Taught man that which he knew not."
This
is heresy
Man
wasn't created out of blood, congealed or otherwise
Mohammad
didn't know that?
Oh
wait! Archangel Gabriel told him that
Gabriel
didn't know that? Preposterous.
"The Prophet"
was delusional
Or
making it up
Or conned by a fake or incompetent "angel"
Mr.
Brown:
Man
made of dirt, woman made of a rib of the man
Mr.
Silver
Did
the pair of them just skip the Sunday school classes on Genesis?
---
GOD
"Gabe...JE-sus...
Jesus "What?"
GOD "Shh... Gabriel, it's written, like, on page TWO. What were you
thinking?"
Gabriel
"I dunno Boss. I never really read it. A couple of the
guys were talking and..."
GOD
"Wait. You didn't read My Book? I loaned it to you, like, an eon
ago before any of it had happened yet."
Gabriel
"Well...it's kinda long...and I really wasn't getting in to it,
and..."
GOD
"Who is the couple
guys?
They didn't read it all either?"
Gabriel
"Uh... (blushes) Uriel and Michael..."
Uriel
"You bastard..."
GOD
"I'm just going to cut to the chase...show of hands...anyone
here read all of My Book?”
(legion
of hands all raised)
GOD
“And I'll point out that I'm selectively omniscient and will know
who is lying...” (hands all go down)
GOD
“Well, that's just great..."
---
Anyway
Islam's
first instruction, handed down from an angel to The Prophet of the
new “One-True”, contains a jarring and indisputable falsehood.
Mr.
Blue:
Not
much different from Jesus
Spectator:
“What are the 10 Commandments?”
Jesus: “Don't you already know them?”
Spectator: “We just wanted to know if you know them.”
Jesus: (can only name 6...)
Jesus: “Don't you already know them?”
Spectator: “We just wanted to know if you know them.”
Jesus: (can only name 6...)
Mr.
Silver:
Funny!
:)
The
Jews couldn't even get the original 10 straight anyway
There's
2 sets, and then they decided to itemize in Leviticus
Ms.
Rose:
I
read that the first draft of the 10 commandment tablets - actually
read "donut-o others." Mmmm... donut. They fired that stone
mason...
Mr.
Silver:
Noah's
animals? Yeah, couldn't keep that straight either. Two-by-two and one page later it's totally different.
GOD "And when I SAY two, I MEAN some."
Mr.
Blue:
(extremely
nasally nerd voice) uhm Rose? They were almost certainly written in Hebrew
Ms.
Rose:
ROFL
I
suppose next you're going to tell me that Jesus looked nothing like
Charlton Heston.
Mr.
Blue:
Jesus
left out all the ones that are stupid anyway.
Mr.
Brown:
Right.
He gave the most important ones that actually mean something, and
truthfully he came well after Moses. So maybe Jesus was told “Hey,
um, go down there and get rid of these ones please.” LOL
Mr. Silver:
"The important ones that mean something?"
Mr.
Blue:
So
God's been around for 14 billion years and he was already amending
commandments after 1200 years?
Mr.
Brown:
LOL
Gotta
edit the code when shit goes sour.
Or
he was just bullet pointing the big ones
Like
“Hey, your guys are not listening to these important ones at all.”
Mr.
Silver:
"I
was more 'Teen Omniscient'...like when I was young and making all
this, I thought I knew everything."
Mr.
Brown:
“LOVE
EACH OTHER DAMN IT”
Ms.
Rose:
The
Catholic tablets have an 11th commandment. “Thou shalt eat only sea
creatures for thine protein on Fridays.”
Mr.
Silver:
"Thou
shalt give us 10%"
"Thou
shalt play BINGO"
Mr.
Blue:
No
shrimp though
Mr.
Silver:
Ran
across an old chestnut in my head yesterday, on topic: A theory of
mine that we're living in Day 7
Mr.
Brown:
True
Per
the fact that we have no idea how long a God day is
Mr.
Silver:
All
the stuff with Man's creation and etc took place in Day 6
And
then He rested...and the end of the Bible says he's withdrawing for a
while and ending the prophesies and stuff.
Day
8 is the only other “God Day”...Judgment Day
So
God will come in on Monday...look at the mess...
Pick
out the good bits and dump the rest in the Lake of F-incinerator...
Mr.
Blue:
If
he can even find us
"Shit.
Where'd I put that life-bearing planet anyway? It was around here
somewhere..."
