Mr.
Blue
What
a pompous business name: Prestige Wealth Management
3:36
PM Mr. Blue
I
love those commercials for investment firms where the people look so
worried about their money.
"We
have so much money that we don't know what to do with it, so
we're giving it to you to make more money"
Boo
hoo.
3:37
PM Mr. Silver
"Statistics
show that you’ll need 5 million dollars by the time you retire to
maintain your standard of living. Is YOUR portfolio extensive
enough?"
Me
"I don't even HAVE a friggin' portfolio. And the people
that do aren't watching this cooking show."
3:39
PM Mr. Blue
LOL
I’m
not convinced I want to live past say… 50
Yeah,
sounds fun; work your ass off for your entire life and retire just in
time for your body to completely break down and you can't do anything
during retirement but watch TV on your couch.
3:41
PM Mr. Silver
I'm
not that far from that.
Apparently,
according to the TV, I can look forward to fly fishing, planting
stuff, and medical problems that I’ll laugh about in slo-mo with my
wife and grandkids.
3:42
PM Mr. Blue
Sitting
in a bathtub in a flowery field with Mrs. Silver.
3:42
PM Mr. Silver
I
haven't seen that commercial...that sounds like a good 5 minute
amusement.
3:42
PM Mr. Blue
Cruising
with your gray-haired buds with the top down, and not taking frequent
bathroom breaks.
I
think the bathtub one is for Cialis. The 2nd one is for one of those
prostate shrinkers.
3:43
PM Mr. Silver
Beach
walking...apparently we have to do beach walking.
"Take
our prostate medicine and you can sit on a bike and smile - like this
guy!"
Mr.
Blue
I
like the low testosterone commercial where he and his wife set off
those Chinese lantern things.
"You
can’t start forest fires with low T, folks."
3:49
PM Mr. Silver
"It
doesn't take Fellini to figure out what these balloons symbolize.”
Mr.
Silver
How
was the "we forgot that thunderstorms are bright and loud"
panic your way last night?
7:29
AM Mr. Amethyst
Meh.
I went to sleep fine. Mrs. Amethyst was in panic mode. LOL
7:37
AM Mr. Silver
Yup...figgered.
7:37
AM Mr. Amethyst
Yeah,
she’s a nutter.
7:48
AM Mr. Silver
Mrs.
Silver was about the same. Junior woke up and wanted to stay
with us but she said no.
7:52
AM Mr. Brown
Mr.
Amethyst, what do you do for your anniversary?
I
still never know what to do.
7:56
AM Mr. Amethyst
Uh…we
have two kids, dude. We don’t do anything. LOL
8:46
AM Mr. Silver
So
I'm watching today downstairs and someone was asking baby financial
advice.
"Well,
the average cost per month of having a baby is $1500 a month, so..."
Me
"$50 a day? WTF are they doing?!?"
8:47
AM Mr. Brown
Right.
The
child has a home, bed, clothes, food...that's all it needs.
8:47
AM Mr. Silver
"The
baby won't eat his truffles and caviar. I'm at my wits end!"
8:47
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
8:48
AM Mr. Blue
Heh
8:49
AM Mr. Brown
Hell.
All it needs is a bath every so often, some food, and something to
catch the waste.
People
are hung up on this designer baby crap.
8:49
AM Mr. Silver
Back
to lightning. I was pondering a theory. You know how a
lot of people just sleep right through thunderstorms, or aren't
bugged at all? Even run thunder all night on sound machines?
I
was wondering why and came up with a reason.
8:51
AM Mr. Amethyst
I'm
listening.
8:51
AM Mr. Silver
I'm
thinking that your ordinarily scared but primitive brain hears the
rain and booms and knows there are no predators out in that crap to
worry about.
8:51
AM Mr. Amethyst
That’s
a sound theory, and I endorse it.
8:54
AM Mr. Silver
It
seems to be that more men are relaxed too, anecdotally.
And they'd be the ones worried about beasts. “It's Hell out there!
I don't even have to sleep in front of the door with a rock in my
hand! Zzz.”
Mr.
Blue
Just
use a hashtag #athiest and say something like "god is real
athiests" and they all jump on you trying to argue
11:36
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:37
AM Mr. Blue
I
myself am agnostic and sympathetic to atheists...but it's still fun.
11:37
AM Mr. Silver
Try
"God is an atheist".
11:37
AM Mr. Amethyst
That’s
because most atheists and most religions are so fanatical that
its fun to poke at them.
11:37
AM Mr. Blue
A
common bait is "Hitler was athiest"
I
like to say "studies show 97% of convicted felons are #athiest"
11:37
AM Mr. Amethyst
That’s
whats happening here Mr. Silver - God has low self esteem...He
doesn’t believe in Himself.
11:38
AM Mr. Silver
Right!
11:38
AM Mr. Blue
You've
got to spell atheist wrong; that lures the easy targets.
11:38
AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Silver
Behold!
12:15
PM Mr. Silver
"From
the beginning it was clear we were dealing with an emotionally
disturbed subject," Johnson said"
No
no...the phrase is "In the Beginning, it was clear we were
dealing with an emotionally disturbed subject."
12:21
PM Mr. Silver
And
it continues "who created the heavens and the earth. And
the stolen pickup truck and the golf club, and the TV station, and
did crash them all together and said This is Good."
12:30
PM Mr. Brown
I
am God because I can't drive 55!
12:30
PM Mr. Gray
Yeah
come on...God invented Cars. Just ask Detroit
12:32
PM Mr. Brown
God
is black: He made big booties.
12:32
PM Mr. Gray
Of
course He is black...He is Morgan Freeman!
12:34
PM Mr. Silver
So...what
if this guy actually is God?
And
the guard wouldn't let him in?
12:35
PM Mr. Brown
That's
one hell of a test
12:35
PM Mr. Silver
He's
out of major curses...He was down to "steal a truck and drive it
into a TV station."
(God,
reminiscing) "It was so much cooler in the old days. Fire and
brimstone...flaming swords...water to blood... It seemed like the
curses would never run out. Eh. I was a young God then; I never
thought ahead. You know, last week I had to choose between an Indian
Burn or a Wet Willie for a bishop in Paraguay who used My name in
vain. Sigh..."
Mr.
Silver
Finished
the 3rd "Mummy" movie.
2:16
PM Mr. Gray
The
3rd Mummy was "eh".
2:37
PM Mr. Silver
The 3rd
was eh, yes.
Casting
a different woman for Evy was a mistake.
2:38
PM Mr. Gray
I
agree.
2:38
PM Mr. Silver
And
though the core idea was OK, the pacing, order, conflicts were...too
direct?
The
emperor didn't have to do enough, or didn't have enough to do.
2:40
PM Mr. Brown
I
hate when they change somebody so late in the sequels. It F's it up.
You get used to that person, and its not like they went and wrote
“Oh this person died and he remarried” or something.
2:41
PM Mr. Gray
"Hey,
baby...after going on that trip you look like a whole new woman.
No...really...who are
you?"
2:41
PM Mr. Silver
Yeoh
should have easily kicked his ass.
"I've
had 2000 years of martial arts and magic training, Zheng. Suck it,
you amateur."
2:42
PM Mr. Gray
Pretty
much. She was rather badass.
3:03
PM Mr. Silver
His
elaborate ritual of return was flawed...
Here's
what should have happened:
"Oh
my descendants! If the emperor ever returns and finds the giant
friggin' gem, and puts it in the little notch at the top of the
shrine, he'll gain his magic powers back! We should smash it!"
"Well...We
already lost the gem..."
"Oh
no, we're doomed!"
"But we went and broke the notch off the top of the shrine."
"Oh...then
we're good then. Never mind."
3:17
PM Mr. Silver
I
think this sort of stuff was part of the problem with the story.
“Oh
no! We woke him up! He's powerful! A sorcerer! And, oh noes, he's
immortal!!!!
We've GOTTA stop him from doing the gem thing!”
(Then
he does the gem thing.)
“Oh
NO! Now he's...um...powerfuller? And more immortaller...? Well
anyway, we GOTTA keep him out of this pool of water!”
(But
then he gets to the pool of water.)
“OK...So,
as I understand it...that made him powerfuller-er...er...right? And
super-mega
imortallerererer? I guess the five of us have GOTTA
stop him from visiting the Great Wall now...because...because...why
do we have to do that again?”
11:27
AM Mr. Silver
Yup...makin'
a 2-liter bottle beer next:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinheitsgebot
Exactly
what I remember.
11:30
AM Mr. Gray
Nice.
11:36
AM Mr. Gray
Going
for the pure stuff then?
11:37
AM Mr. Silver
I
suppose; plus the brewing thing is kind of fun so far.
Plus
I'm learning a new and valuable skill for after society collapses.
There
was a maxim I read online "We drink beer while we wait for
wine."
And
my wine is gonna take a while, it's true, so time for a beer.
I've
had wine that's too new.
11:39
AM Mr. Gray
Ewww.
Yeah...new
wine is nasty.
11:42
AM Mr. Silver
My
brother was big into brewing for a long time. He didn't really
age some of his first efforts.
So
we had grape with a hint of paint stripper.
11:44
AM Mr. Blue
Heheh
12:00
PM Mr. Silver
"Mr. Silver's
2-Liter Brewery - Fine Plastic-Casked Mix-N-Hope Beers & Wines. Est. This
Week, 2014"
12:35
PM Mr. Silver
"Damn
shame what they done to that beer..."
12:36
PM Mr. Blue
Heh,
what's that from?
12:37
PM Mr. Silver
“Coming
to America”
12:38
PM Mr. Gray
LOL
I forgot about that.
