590 - How To Keep Dublin From Falling Off Of Ireland, and We (Mostly I) Talk About Vampire Stuff

[3:09 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

There's a 390 ft piece of stainless steel jutting out of the middle of Dublin and nobody knows why https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spire_of_Dublin

During Festivus you face towards Dublin to pray

[3:09 PM] 

Doctor Who knows but ain't sayin'

[3:11 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Supporters compare it to other initially unpopular urban structures such as the Eiffel Tower

99% of things that are initially unpopular remain so

[3:12 PM] 

It even has alien writing all around the bottom.

(Doctor facing off against Cyberman leader) "Let me show you what I did to the last cyber invasion of Earth that started in Dublin Ireland.  Then tell me to surrender again."

[3:13 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

God was working on Dublin and decided he needed to put a pin in that part of the project and hasn't come back to it yet

[3:32 PM] 

The old Irish Prophesy was that the Devil himself had cursed the city - declaring he would arrive one day, 3 miles tall, and sit on the town, destroying it. 

So...the needle is defensive

[9:46 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I probably mentioned this but in GotG 2 there's a brief scene on some party planet called Contraxia with a background song that instantly blew me away.  It's not on the soundtrack.  It was written just for that scene by Jimmy Urine (Mindless Self Indulgence frontman. He also has a cameo in the scene).

Apparently it'll never be released.  i guess i wasn't the only person that loved it, Someone edited out the dialogue and turned it into a 95 minute loop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_bUUGwc-S0

[9:50 AM] 

95???

[9:53 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

i mean you don't have to listen to all 95 minutes

30 seconds is enough

[9:53 AM] 

I certainly won't...hehe

Was thinking about Bang Wa Cherry though

Not-real group that sang that shrill schoolgirl song in the Japanese club in "Blade"

I found a long version of it at one point.  Was wondering if it was just someone's edit to make it long, or whether it was the real thing.

[10:02 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I never saw the movie but i remember liking the song

[10:05 AM] 

I enjoyed it

Blade should have lost

On the other hand the villain should have been whacked long before the end.

Better than 2, definitely

2 was kind of embarrassing in a couple ways...like “Underworld”. 

(me) "Who thought this out and presented it and were told 'OK'?  It would never be like this."

Seen “Underworld”, I assume?

[10:10 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

nope

[10:10 AM] 

Wow

[10:10 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

It looked bad

[10:10 AM] 

I guess your "I don't know about vampires" thing extends to movies

[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I just don't like 'em

[10:11 AM] 

You could just watch it for Beckinsale running around in tight shiny pants if you like.

[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I've been watching Salem's Lot the last couple days

[10:11 AM] 

James Mason one?

[10:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Yeah

For a made-for-tv miniseries it's alright

[10:12 AM] 

As I recall, the main vampire in that is pretty nasty looking

(looks up)

Yes...quality Nosferatu, that one.

[10:14 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Yeah, pretty much exactly like Nosferatu

They used a guy that was disfigured in real life to play him

The plot is similar to

the scenes with the vampire kid coming to his friend's windows are creepy

For some reason all the recently turned vampires have canine fangs but the main dude has incisor fangs

I guess that's a later upgrade

[10:18 AM] 

Yeah, liked the kid thing

That one had the hospital rise in it, didn't it?

[10:19 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

hospital rise?

[10:20 AM] 

Guy put the new vampire down with a tongue depressor and tape cross?

[10:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

oh yeah

[10:32 AM] 

Most newer Hollywood vampires are just way too much.

Writers keep giving them superhero-grade powers to look impressive on a movie screen

Like "has non-human powers" isn't enough

[10:33 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Yeah

[10:35 AM] 

"And for THIS scene, after the hunters shoot him 7 times, he's going to turn into a dragon made out of blood and summon an army of flying demon skeletons out of the earth."

"Laughing off 7 high caliber bullets at point blank range isn't enough?"

[10:37 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

heh

[10:38 AM] 

Meanwhile I'm riveted watching "He Never Died"

[10:38 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Really the Dracula / Nosferatu vampires are pretty clumsy

They move into a town and everything instantly goes hay-wire

[10:39 AM] 

You mean the real-world disruptions such a careless creature would cause?

[10:39 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"Am I under some type of suspicion?"

"Well, half the town is either dead, missing, or turned into some kind of ghoul since you moved in yesterday."

[10:40 AM] 

Hehe

Been around 500 years with the same MO...somehow managed to go unnoticed til now.

[10:42 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"Anything from the FBI report?" 

"Well, every place Mr. Straker lived before has had to be condemned for various reasons." 

"Well... Let me know if you find anything useful."

[10:43 AM] 

lol

"Seems there was a (flips papers on clipboard) 'plague of undead' that started every time he moved into town and ended with a massive kill effort sometime after he left.  So...nothing much."

[10:47 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

"It says here he was the sole survivor of a *squints* massive vampire epidemic in eastern northern Hungary."

[10:47 AM] 

Just one of these films, I'd like the minion to apologize.

"The master...he's been succumbing to Alzheimer’s.  I'm so careful to keep him in, but... How can I help make it right?"

(getting out Kill Kit, passing out instruction sheets)

"He was always so clean, you know?  But then he started having “accidents” and I could tell something was going wrong." 

"I thought if I picked a nice quiet town and a big old house like he likes far away from a proper neighborhood...even if he got out.  I just didn't think he'd wander so far.  So who are we after?"

“Now now, let's not get into revenge or anything – it just makes it worse. Lord, the bloodbaths... No, he's very old, usually quite harmless, and has put away billions.  We'll just put the girl back where she belongs, put her soul at rest and discuss some sort of settlement.  People do it for car accidents and such all the time."

I like this, actually

This is one thing the "Secret World" trope in film and games get right.

You must be a responsible member of something like that or everyone in it is screwed.

If vampirism as an easily-passed contagion actually happened (numerous examples) the human world would have ended in ancient days.

Dracula apparently made 4 total vampires in his hundreds of years - 3 wives he left back home, and 1 I guess he decided was a dud in England. 

"What about the wives?"

(Van Helsing) "Eh...Transylvania...

"Shouldn't we do something?" 

(Van Helsing) "Remember, I told you a month ago that the common vampire is pretty stupid.  If they knew the trick to making more there would be more.  They'll wander off...bite some people.  It'll be fine."

"But!"

(Van Helsing) "Do you want to hunt down every wasp nest around here too?  Let's go home."

[11:13 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

heh

[11:13 AM]  

(He actually did kill them in the book) 

Lucy bit children nightly til they killed her...they were fine.

[11:13 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Yeah, only some seem to change

I guess it's like an infection... it doesn't always take

[11:14 AM] 

He had to feed Lucy and Mina his blood.

Mina suggested she was forced but Van Helsing had noted earlier it’s a choice.

Granted a heavily coerced one. 

Then you die...blood loss of repeat visits...

So obviously - in that version - it can be done and there's always some danger one of his wives would make a new one out of some species instinct

But most of the time...nope. 

You wake up kinda woozy, look in the mirror at your neck and say "Maaan... Honey?  We need to garlic the windows this week.  Vampire season I guess."

"Well it's October, dear...the nights are getting long."

[11:58 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

It wouldn't make sense that their victims die

No other blood-suckers kill their victims. Usually they don't even notice.

[11:58 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

There is also the whole - why would just one bite change them?

I have seen that done before in films

[11:58 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

I like the idea of it being an infection

Like malaria... Getting bit by a mosquito carrying it isn't a guarantee you'll get it

getting bit by 20 mosquitoes carrying malaria though.

[11:59 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I like that you have to drink the vampire's blood to change

[12:00 PM] 

So another element - vampires don't drink very much blood from their victims.

How much they drink is not discussed but its observable in the text

Dracula was drinking enormous amounts of blood from Lucy and Mina

They needed transfusions

Meanwhile Jonathan Harker was left in Transylvania with 3 of them for weeks who fed on him nightly to keep him too weak to escape.

Lucy was having a nip of street child every night. 

Must have just been pulling half a teaspoon each?  1/4?

Wear you down, definitely

I think in Bram's case most people would die from infected bites from a dead person's mouth.

Vampires are scary as Hell with fantastic powers but just "aren't dangerous". 

They kill you through side effects – wash the bites and put up repellent.

And don't attack them head on or they'll use their powers to tear you apart

...unless they want you to serve them or they "love" you, and then you're F'd

[12:12 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

Later tales of vamps they like to say vampires are from Cain in the Bible

[12:59 PM] 

Cain, yes. Doesn't make much sense for God to make an immortal bloodsucking monster on earth to plague his creation with his offspring...but...

The Lilith angle makes more sense.

[1:00 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

yep

mother of vamps

[1:00 PM] 

Adam was into Goth chicks for a while

[1:01 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

The first black lipstick wearer

“We don't have clothes but I rubbed this soot on my lips and eyes. How does it look?

589 - Authentic Fakes, Martin Luther Nailed It, and Samoan Fried Samoa

[8:14 AM] 

Morning

Enjoyed this: http://historydaily.org/drakes-plate-a-fabricated-artifact-and-the-story-of-an-out-of-control-prank

[8:54 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

confused by the map

[8:54 AM] 

Me too

[8:56 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

but good story

[9:00 AM] 

Not against newer techniques

[9:00 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

ah

[9:01 AM] 

You can tell from disturbance of oxidation layers and other chemical patina effects when the metal was altered. 

[9:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

There's gotta be ways to trick or at least obscure modern dating methods

[9:05 AM] 

Yes but it's getting harder

[9:05 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Maybe bombard with radiation or some kind of acid to aid patina

or like how they do chromeplating but with patina

with magnetic currents or whatever

It's probably easier to just find real historical items nowadays lol

[9:06 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Find real historical item - add text to it

[9:07 AM] 

People have done that Mr. Brown

Here's the thing...artificial process - no matter how elaborate - vs dumping it on the beach to be rubbed and washed for a few hundred years, you're going to get different results.

[9:07 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

HERE LANDED SIR FRANCIS DRAKE 1576
THIS LAND CLAIMED FOR HIS MAJESTY
THE KING OF ENGLAND
AND I'M GAY LOL

[9:11 AM] 

Document fraudsters will, for instance, scrape the ink off of parchment that is known to be the correct age, and then write on that.

[9:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

To make it test older?

[9:12 AM] 

The scrape/rewrite was perfectly normal back in the day...parchment was expensive animal hide and reused

If you test a sample of that you get a page from 1250 or whatever

A properly formulated ink can also baffle identification.

If those are both good you have to try to debunk by context or style

"People didn't put serifs on that letter in that century."

or "This reads like Greek but like writers from the X century instead of the Y century."

or "These lines sound different from everything else in the chapter." 

(that would be a common Biblical/related text tag)

[9:28 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

yes

[9:30 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

This guy xeroxed it

lol

I like that part in the Mr. Bean movie

When he egg, nail polish, washes a poster of Whistler's Mother

[9:31 AM] 

It wasn't a poster, it was supposed to be the original in the movie :D

[9:32 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

No he fixed his mess up WITH a poster

He took the original with his drawn-on face home.

[9:32 AM] 

Ah

[9:32 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

i was browsing YT and stumbled on the clip where he's in the airport and he sees a cop's gun and starts pretending he has a gun

[9:32 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

HEHEHEHEH

My boys laughed hard at that scene

[9:38 AM] 

If you haven't read the tale of Martin Luther and his theological development from a religious nut into...kind of a different religious nut...it's well worth it

[9:39 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Honestly was he really that nutty?  I thought he just kind of questioned some things about the church that seemed very obvious but everyone was too afraid to question

[9:40 AM] 

If I'm recalling correctly, his epiphany and shift into scrutiny of Catholicism came after his confessor got irritated with him.

Luther was so convinced that he had to confess everything I think he even made organized lists (German) and confessed...all the time.

One day his designated guy had enough and said "Look! Kid!  You don't have to work so hard at this.  The whole point is contrition and making the effort and intercession and absolution.  Maybe get some tasks if it was bad enough to keep you focused.  God actually already knows everything you did.  You don't have to list and tell me everything!" 

...

and that got Luther thinking.

God already knows this...already knows I'm contrite...

Why am I even telling some other guy just so he can tell me it's OK? 

How does he know it's OK anyway?  Only God knows that. 

http://images4.fanpop.com/image/quiz/467000/467128_1283430440445_400_274.jpg

[9:46 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

So then take it to the Big Guy

Yeah Lutheranism is not one saying go and sin.

it's still saying you need to be aware and do the right thing but admit when you have been bad

[9:48 AM] 

An undeniably devout member of The Flock, he started thinking about a lot of Catholic rules and such

He realized oodles of them were not from the Bible but made up by Popes and such

[9:49 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Pope interpretations

[9:50 AM]

No, whole cloth BS.

So Luther came up with a mere starter list of 95 of them and nailed them to a church door so they'd be seen.

Anyway, by the end he'd pretty much gone long-haired hippie and was preaching free love and anti-Semitism.

Have to look

One of the sketches taken out of Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" was a randy Martin Luther going around town trying to get some action

Not a big loss...not their funniest stuff

[10:01 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

We still follow Christian principles, just in another way

lol

[10:02 AM] 

“Kind of an...excommunicated way”

[10:03 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Nowadays its a lot different

[10:03 AM] 

yes

[10:03 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

everybody is kind of together but doing own thing

[10:04 AM] 

As far as One Trues go, Christianity certainly put out a lot of branches

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_by_number_of_members

[10:08 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Not going to say i remember every single thing about my religion though

I don't pay attention well

lol

[10:10 AM] 

You have a minister of some sort who is supposed to do that

[10:10 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yes I'm a sheep

I like my pastor. She brings herself down to our level all the time

does not play the high and mighty card like some pastors do

[10:10 AM] 

and you're in a group that has some standards and sends them to college where they have to do proper coursework and graduate...so...you're better off than some folk

[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

Seems like the door nailing thing was fake

didn't actually happen i mean

It would be funny if he did.

Nails some crap to the door... first person that comes along rips it down and throws it in the trash

[10:12 AM] 

"And so, Luther took his list and nailed it to the archbishop and fled town."

[10:13 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

lol

[10:15 AM] 

Luther sent the Theses enclosed with a letter to Albert of Brandenburg, the Archbishop of Mainz, on 31 October 1517, a date now considered the start of the Reformation and commemorated annually as Reformation Day. Luther may have also posted the Theses on the door of All Saints' Church and other churches in Wittenberg in accordance with University custom on 31 October or in mid-November. The Theses were quickly reprinted, translated, and distributed throughout Germany and Europe

Posted isn't exactly nailed

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

yes

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

nail is more symbolic

[10:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 

i think nailing things to doors was a thing back then, though

[10:18 AM] 

(Looks at bulletin board)  "Babysitting... Discussion group on Job... Used cart... Hmm...what's this?"

"Apostates wanted for new heresy group... look honey, there's a set of rules."

"Into shouting and inter-faith warfare?  Join the 95 Theses Gang."

[10:22 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

I can see that as a skit

every body dressed for the time but have grills and bling

A Catholic priest walks by, they pop him

[10:23 AM] 

Do the "9 5" finger gesture: Flash four on the left, five on the right...bit of flourish and there's still four on the left but the middle finger up on the right.

“Yo, Nuremberg 9-5, G!”

[10:27 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Best part would be a gang fight, showing them squaring off

[10:27 AM] 

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/7f/Graham_Chapman_Colonel.jpg/220px-Graham_Chapman_Colonel.jpg

"Right!  Stop that!  It's gone silly!"

[10:27 AM]  Mr. Brown: 

Yes!

LOL

[10:28 AM] 

"Started off as a nice informative clever bit about Martin Luther and now it's just silly."

[2:20 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

A guy I grew up with and went to HS with went to Hawaii and he got one of those traditional tattoos with like sharpened bone and a hammer to tap the ink in

[2:20 PM] 

ah

sorry, I meant AH!

[2:21 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Samoan style or whatever

[2:21 PM] 

SAMOAN!!!!!!!

Was racking my brain the other day to remember their name!

Tagata Māo‘i

(trying to see where "Samoan" came from and if colonialists just picked it for them)

Tagata Māo‘i is what they were calling themselves

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Samoa#Etymology

[2:49 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

Forbidden Chicken

[2:49 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

I was just going to write that

hahaha

[2:50 PM] 

Deep in the Heart of Forbidden Chicken

[2:51 PM]  Mr. Brown: 

New DHFC  $5 meals

[2:51 PM] 

SFS

Samoan Fried Samoa

"I'll have the Homestyle Samoa Sandwich.  Could I have a bit of extra Tagata Mayo on it?"

[2:54 PM]  Mr. Blue: 

I figured some dumb explorer thought he landed in Somalia

[2:54 PM] 

"These gentle people were peaceful and happy until colonials named them Samoans and the fighting started. Now they are huge, angry, and yell at you as they dance in synchronized groups."