[9:33 AM] Mr. Blue:
This is like the Aldi, off-brand version of the Goodfellas crew
"Tony the Wig", "Mustache Pat", "Skinny Joey"
[9:38 AM] Mr. Brown:
Love the names
[9:38 AM] Mr. Blue:
One guy's nickname is "Patsy". Isn't that a negative connotation in gangster lingo?
"Over here's Patsy... and that guy over there is Johnny Tucktail.... and then we have Jimmy the Confidential Informant. We called him that on account of he was a confidential informant."
[9:42 AM] Ms. Rose:
Franceso "Sammy Shark" looks like he may have eaten a few sharks.
[9:43 AM] Mr. Blue:
"We called him that on account of he ate like a basking shark."
[9:44 AM] Ms. Rose:
Skinny Joey just belongs on an 80's After School Special.
Richard "Richie" LaCava, 67, is charged with one count of not being able to come up with a fun nickname.
[9:44 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[9:45 AM] Mr. Silver:
"and then there was "Big Liability" Langostino."
[9:45 AM] Ms. Rose:
Hahaha!
[9:46 AM] Mr. Blue:
lol
[9:46 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Frankie 'Fed Infiltrator' Fancone has not been charged."
[9:48 AM] Mr. Blue:
There was a gag on The Simpsons that turned into reoccurring characters
Mob boss Tony: "Someone's been talkin to the feds!"
Franky Carbone lookalike: "We've narrowed it down to Johnny Tightlips and Mickey the Squealer."
Later episode. Johnny Tightlips gets shot...
"Johnny, where ya hit?"
"I ain't sayin' nothin'."
"What do I tell the doctuh?"
"Tell him to go suck a lemon."
[9:48 AM] Mr. Silver:
lol
[2:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
Ok, so this southern guy asked where we started our company
I explained we started in Pennsylvania
He said he “don't like Yankees!”
[2:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
He doesn't like winners
Of course I doubt many of us stop tracing much of our lineage back to the Civil War,
so I guess it's association by geography.
People in the North tend to trace their lineage back a lot further than a short historical period.
Hence most people down south pick their nationality as "American", rather than around here where it's Scots/Irish/German whatever
Look where "American" is prevalent.
[2:47 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yep
Only the simple-minded southerners are upset about “yankees” anyway.
[2:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
They are indoctrinated by the stupid to remain stupid
Like my Mormon nieces and nephew
They all did, ultimately, well or exceptionally well in school.
Yet Saturday, at their mom's 3rd wedding, Mrs. Silver overheard them making fun of Bernie Sanders and Bernie followers and how they were voting for the only good candidate: Trump
How can it happen? How do intellectually superior kids NOT figure out that Trump is poison, Republicanism has been bad for decades, and Mormonism has always been a fraud?
[2:56 PM] Mr. Brown:
Vote Johnson
Libritarian
Wow, I should be able to spell that
[2:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
Libertarianism? Speaking of pseudo-intellectual cults...
[2:56 PM] Ms. Rose:
Did someone say something about Mormons?
[2:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
Indeed I did
Even a modicum of interest and a willingness to type in a web search on the topic, you start finding out how screwed up it is.
Is there some segment of Sunday school that uses negative enforcement and electric shocks to convince good little Mormon boys ... and their girls I guess ... that their version of Jesus will melt their eyeballs if they look anything up?
[3:06 PM] Ms. Rose:
When I was married, it was called "The Popcorn Tree" song.
[3:06 PM] Mr. Blue:
Faith is rewarded
Blind faith even more so!
[3:07 PM] Ms. Rose:
As you know, Mormon women are only allowed to achieve a rank as high as Sunday School teacher. So Trey's mom filled me in on all controversial songs during her tenure.
[3:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Their girls" was ridicule, of course.
[3:09 PM] Ms. Rose:
It was actually quite accurate, seeing as how one Mormon man can "have" several girls (or wives). :P
[3:10 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
You don't get to go to Heaven without a husband, girls.
He can go...but FU
[3:11 PM] Ms. Rose:
Trey's mom was like, "Look at how they miscontruded [sic] The Popcorn Song on YouTube!"
Hmmm. All the "Mormon brainwashing" sites appear to be blocked here.
[3:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Report to IT) "Was blocked due to company policy: Religious/Religion. This is Mormonism I'm looking up."
[3:20 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
(Mr. Silver here. Sadly Ms. Rose has left us so I never got to ask what was “miscontruded” about the song. I went out to research it – Youtube et al – and the only conclusion I could draw is that [its implied] Mormons think it's literally a song about popcorn growing on a tree.)
[11:24 AM] Mr. Silver:
So it struck me as odd, over lunch, talking about wars and “eastern fronts” and “western fronts”, etc. We say these things but it really depends on which side you are on and which country
For instance...In WW 1 and 2 Germany, the Eastern Front was Russia/USSR
Whereas it would be the Russian/USSR Western Front.
Then I thought...
"I've never heard of the USSR having an Eastern Front against Japan in WWII."
Then I stopped to think about it harder
[11:34 AM] Mr. Brown:
Did we have a Southern Front during the Civil War?
[11:36 AM] Mr. Silver:
"I've never heard of them even FIGHTING the Japanese."
So I looked it up.
Basically, they fought the Japanese for several days in August of 45 before it ended.
[11:50 AM] Mr. Brown:
Haha
[11:51 AM] Mr. Silver:
It looked to be a big action, just really short.
[11:53 AM] Mr. Brown:
It would be like the North Korea war that is always coming soon
They start
BOOM
Over
NK is so dumb
[12:03 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
[8/10/2016 12:05 PM] Mr. Brown:
[8/10/2016 12:10 PM] Ms. Rose:
I guess he was finished with his toast rounds for the day.
[8/10/2016 12:10 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Saltones ojos de Cristo de Saltillo"
"Bug-eyed faithfuls and muppeteers come from all over the world to witness the miracle."
"Popularity of the site rivals even that of Our Lady of Marty Feldman in the UK."
[8/10/2016 12:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Toasts Ms. Rose's “toast”)
[8/10/2016 12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
Hahaha!
[1:28 PM] Mr. Silver:
(watching pictures of empty Olympic pools, talking heads, and Michael Phelps all through my break) "Could someone swim, please?"
(Another victim of boring Olympic sport selection by the media) "Hmm?"
"Well, on my second break I always come down and it's always swimming or waiting for swimming."
"There's other channels and they're showing nothing but tennis."
"Ugh...you can watch tennis all year on TV. Where's the more obscure and interesting stuff people rarely see? There's tons of exciting stuff going on."
"I know!"
"When I came down this morning, they were talking on an empty golf course about Olympic golf. No one was even playing. Put the crew anywhere something is happening instead of boring the audience til they change the channel. Also, sorry...golf is a game, not a sport. Why is it in the Olympics?"
"I agree. It's just a game."
"It's like bowling...is there Olympic bowling? Can you be an “athlete” in the Olympics if you are a 300lb champion bowler who smokes?"
"Hehe! Yes!"
(adopts quiet commentator voice) "This is an important frame... He's taking an inspirational bite from his bacon double cheeseburger... He's wiping the grease off his hands and reaching for his ball... "
(sadly that was the end of my break)
[1:35 PM] Mr. Blue:
There's a lot of bogus sports
Walking is an Olympic sport
[1:38 PM] Ms. Rose:
I was just downstairs. Although there was actual swimming on TV for about 10 seconds, they cut to interview Phelps again. 3/4 of the screen is taken up by his shoulder blade/neck meat.
[1:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Those gymnasts are pretty bulky too.
I know guys in their 30s that'd like to have the muscle mass some of these teenage girls have. Not all of course. Some have that typical gymnast frame, like Comaneci
[1:53 PM] Mr. Silver:
Michael “Neck-Meat” Phelps
[1:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
Swimming must be good for the back because their lats are huge
When they raise their arms they look like a threatened animal
[2:09 PM] Mr. Silver:
Watching swimming yesterday, we observed some poor girl a crazy 3-lengths behind. (watcher) "Must be rough, losing by that much in the Olympics."
(me) "True. Granted, even she can probably outswim anyone we've ever met."
That being said, we then watched her impossibly catch up that distance in a length and come in 3rd.
“Holy - !!!”
“Daaaamn...”
[2:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
I saw a thing where someone suggested they put one random person in every event, just to give some sense of scale
You just pick people by lottery and throw them in the swimming event
"And so our final, we have Phelps in first with a time of 1:15.12, Dmitry Romanov in second at 1:15.44, and pulling in the rear is Bob Schneider at 13:24.05"
[2:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
That would be good to watch.
People are pretty blasé about what is as close to superhuman as people are gonna get.
(Track & Field reporter) “Here are the results for Shot Put - 22.3M Ulf Timmermann... 2.3M Jim Smith. We'll be talking to Mr. Smith about his achievement after he comes out of the medical tent. Here he is! Mr. Smith! How do you feel about that throw?"
"Oww! JEEbus!"
[2:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
(Weightlifting commentator) “Another horrific injury just now... didn't catch the country or his name... looked middle eastern... elbow got torn to pieces on the Clean & Jerk.”
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
401 - NASA's Explained Files, An Invention Isn't Stealing If It Was A Foreigner's Idea, Afraid Of Not Swimming, Chase The Yellow Rainbow, Be-ezzing Disease Has Reached Epidemic Proportions, Better Extinct Than Unchic, and "The Dirty DC"
[1:57 PM] Mr. Brown:
So was thinking after watching “NASA Unexplained Files”
First off the majority of these unexplained files are explained.
So that nixes the name.
[1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
"NASA's Unexplained to You Yet Files"
[1:58 PM] Mr. Brown:
Second, I was watching one where they were doing a space walk and ended up with tiny slashes in the gloves.
The first theory? Another astronaut tried to kill the one that had the slashes.
Thinking in my head “WOW they are parianoid.”
My first theory was just that he was grabbing something on the space station that was cutting his gloves. And thats what it ended up being.
[2:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Scuffs and cuts are usually a tell-tale sign of attempted murder
[2:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
Based on my shoes, I'm in constant danger
Assassins everywhere!
[2:07 PM] Mr. Brown:
Right
I was amazed! lol
[11:03 AM] Mr. Silver:
So I saw a thing about stuff "invented for the military"
#1 was M&Ms.
"M&Ms! Invented when X observed Italian soldiers enjoying chocolates with a candy coating to keep them from melting!"
(translation) "M&Ms! Stolen from Italian candy makers and then 'invented'!"
[11:05 AM] Ms. Rose:
Didn't you just throw Silver Jr. into a filthy, freezing cold lake when he was 4, to teach him to swim? What's WRONG with you?!
[11:05 AM] Mr. Blue:
Someone (not my mom) tried to do that to me and instead I felt like I was drowning and developed a fear of water that lasted forever
They put me on a raft and pushed me out into the middle of a pool and I fell in
[11:07 AM] Mr. Silver:
Lovely
I was a BIT more systematic
When we got to testing, I used "OK...I'm safety and I'm about 10' away. The sharks are behind you....aaaaand GO!"
[11:15 AM] Ms. Rose:
Dad literally picked me up and threw me into this really icky "lake" when I was 4. He said something like, "Swim to the shore, and try not to stir up too much mud." I think he was trying to fish. But the opposite happened with me. I just LOVED the water after that. I was going off the high-dive the next year.
As soon as I find a swimsuit that fits similar to a Hefty bag, I plan to join the Y again.
[2:18 PM] Ms. Rose:
Pearl Jam has a song called "Green Disease." They were talking about greed.
[2:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
For some reason the song Free Falling came into my head other day and I changed the words to Free Peeing
[2:26 PM] Ms. Rose:
Mr. Brown. C'mon. Everyone knows it's "Free Ballin'." I don't even have balls and I know that.
[2:27 PM] Mr. Brown:
But if you stand up to pee, don't aim, and just let it free, its “free peeing”
Lets just say I was a little buzzed when I thought of it
[2:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Actually, I can't get through that Petty song without swapping "Write her name in the sky" with "Write her name in the snow"
[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:
As a member of the opposite sex, I can neither stand nor aim to pee.
[2:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
I read a article that was questions women had for men. One was “If you don't hold it when you pee does it flail around?
[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:
When are they going to sing songs about ME?!
[2:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
(guy at bar) "It's silly and naughty, but I used to write in the snow for my girlfriend, Sue. After we broke up I tried it with my new girl, Virginia...man...I had to hurt myself pounding down a half gallon of beer and could only get as far as 'Virgin'. Dumped me for being a creep."
As to the standing to pee thing, a buddy of mine had a friend who lost a substantial bet to a woman who claimed she could hit a specified target on a brick wall while standing.
[2:38 PM] Ms. Rose:
Reminds me of the "Skittles" trick.
[2:39 PM] Mr. Silver:
Granted it was not in male "fireman" position
Please tell me it's not a "taste the rainbow" trick
Eh...go ahead...
[2:40 PM] Ms. Rose:
My friend with the power company sent me this excuse for not paying a bill “My adult son was diagnosed with Bazin disease (erythema induratum) last fall. This caused him to lose his job and move back in with me.”
[2:41 PM] Mr. Blue:
It occurs mainly in women, but is very rare now.
She should call 'em out
[2:42 PM] Ms. Rose:
Yeah, I kind of wish I hadn't Wiki-ed this.
I mean, does this require round-the-clock care? She said she pays his car insurance so he can get to appointments. Dude, if you can drive, you can get a job.
[2:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
“My adult son was diagnosed with Blazin' disease (cannabis everydayum) and had to move back into my basement.”
[2:45 PM] Mr. Brown:
I'm sure it hurts. They disable people for lesser things
[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
He has "ba-ZING"!
[2:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
"adult son" sounds weird.
"my son, who is fully grown and very large, so large you wouldn't believe it, had to move back in with me."
[2:46 PM] Ms. Rose:
OMG, Mr. Blue. (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[2:46 PM] Mr. Blue:
He needs 30CCs of Chuck Lorre sitcoms every 2 hours
[2:46 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Was your source of income your adult male son's job as a female leg model?"
[2:47 PM] Mr. Brown:
"my adult son moved back in with me. He has diabeties. They sent him a box and in that box was a key to my home with a note saying go home and don't pay the electricity bill."
[2:49 PM] Ms. Rose:
Guys! Stop! You're killing me! *tears!* (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
Mr. Silver, you had better be saving this. The Russians will love it!
I can't stop laughing!
"so large you wouldn't believe it!" (rofl)
"I mean, seriously, his calves are freaking HUGE!"
[2:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
I did
Problem is, the blog is just a tad backed up
Like I currently have 137 pages to sift though...
In the first of four collections...
Each one I put up is approximately 5 pages. Chaff accounts for about a half page...
So
25 entries... Maybe 75 entries altogether...so after the Blog grows 20% bigger, we'll get to posting this one.
Interesting, really. I assume this blog is completely unique – unless someone stole the idea and is making piles of money being half as clever as us.
And there is such a vast collection of content on it
[3:09 PM] Ms. Rose:
Bazin Disease Awareness is a serious issue, Mr. Silver. Find a way to get the word out sooner.
If today was the first time I learned about Bazin disease, I imagine there are many piles of money being given to people other than us.
[3:33 PM] Mr. Blue:
It's insane how many diseases there are that we don't even know about
[3:34 PM] Mr. Silver:
"What are these spots, doctor?"
"Uh...mmm...that's...Buhhhzin. Bazin... Disease..."
"Is it dangerous?"
"Sure is! And expensive!"
[3:35 PM] Mr. Brown:
I have sjogrens
So yeah, I know about rare crazy stuff
[1:32 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Neanderthal dread of being caught dead in a parka probably led to extinction" say a quartet of haute couture archaeologists at Simon Fraser University
[1:35 PM] Ms. Rose:
...being caught dead in a North Face brand parka. Duh!
[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:
I read something that said they was built for dense forests
[1:39 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Arcoutureologist) "Honestly, who is to blame them? It's a style that is Paleolithic, at best, sweetie. Unfortunately a stylish pant and jacket combination will only go so far. They died out, but they looked fabulous!"
[1:40 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)
New, this season. From Calvin Cro-Magnon...
[1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yves Saint Olduvai's latest ice age hides are hot Hot HOT!
[1:43 PM] Ms. Rose:
:-D
[1:43 PM] Mr. Brown:
Tommy Hill Digger
[1:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
:)
[1:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
GOOD ONE, Mr. Brown!
Rocks are a cave-girl's best friend. Exclusive new collections available now, at Troglodyte's of London.
[1:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
The United Color of Bone-ton
[1:48 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[9:48 AM] Mr. Silver:
Picture on one of my sites last night...Tony Stark in helmet, looking exasperated. "Brace yourselves...millions of women are going to discover Harley Quinn in about a week..."
[9:51 AM] Mr. Blue:
The marketing for that movie has made me not want to see it ever; particularly all the stuff about how idiotic Jared Leto acted in character
[9:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
Like to get in character? I read some of that, yes
[9:53 AM] Mr. Blue:
Like other cast members talking about how he'd send packages of bullets to their dressing rooms. Oh, he sent a dead rat to Margot Robbie. That's stupid.. get over yourself
[9:53 AM] Mr. Brown:
I read somewhere he sent them all used condoms too
[9:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
He says he ODd watching psychopath films/etc to get what he wanted
My main issue is this:
[9:56 AM] Mr. Blue:
They look like Juggalos
[9:57 AM] Mr. Silver:
"A team of top well-known villains!”
It includes 3 distinct women, a guy with a prune face, and "some guys".
"We're sure you'll be able to tell them apart by the end!"
[9:57 AM] Mr. Blue:
This movie will slay in the demographic of 16-32 year old white men that leave the stickers on their fitted caps
A guy that can light anything around him on fire vs. a girl with a baseball bat
Reviews sound pretty negative
The Joker doesn't even have much screen time
[10:03 AM] Mr. Silver:
Comic character power balance has never been the industry's strong suit.
This comes off as an artist watching "The Dirty Dozen" and saying "I could do that!"
Except “The Dirty Dozen” makes sense
[10:05 AM] Ms. Rose:
I am not at all looking forward to “Suicide Squad”. But I must attend, as part of my girlfriendly duties. *sigh*
This is why movie theaters need to serve alcohol.
[10:05 AM] Mr. Silver:
Put your hair in different colored pigtails and take a big mallet to the show.
Write "Boyfriend 'This Better Not Suck' Beater" on it with an angry emoji on the faces
[10:10 AM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)
So was thinking after watching “NASA Unexplained Files”
First off the majority of these unexplained files are explained.
So that nixes the name.
[1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
"NASA's Unexplained to You Yet Files"
[1:58 PM] Mr. Brown:
Second, I was watching one where they were doing a space walk and ended up with tiny slashes in the gloves.
The first theory? Another astronaut tried to kill the one that had the slashes.
Thinking in my head “WOW they are parianoid.”
My first theory was just that he was grabbing something on the space station that was cutting his gloves. And thats what it ended up being.
[2:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Scuffs and cuts are usually a tell-tale sign of attempted murder
[2:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
Based on my shoes, I'm in constant danger
Assassins everywhere!
[2:07 PM] Mr. Brown:
Right
I was amazed! lol
[11:03 AM] Mr. Silver:
So I saw a thing about stuff "invented for the military"
#1 was M&Ms.
"M&Ms! Invented when X observed Italian soldiers enjoying chocolates with a candy coating to keep them from melting!"
(translation) "M&Ms! Stolen from Italian candy makers and then 'invented'!"
[11:05 AM] Ms. Rose:
Didn't you just throw Silver Jr. into a filthy, freezing cold lake when he was 4, to teach him to swim? What's WRONG with you?!
[11:05 AM] Mr. Blue:
Someone (not my mom) tried to do that to me and instead I felt like I was drowning and developed a fear of water that lasted forever
They put me on a raft and pushed me out into the middle of a pool and I fell in
[11:07 AM] Mr. Silver:
Lovely
I was a BIT more systematic
When we got to testing, I used "OK...I'm safety and I'm about 10' away. The sharks are behind you....aaaaand GO!"
[11:15 AM] Ms. Rose:
Dad literally picked me up and threw me into this really icky "lake" when I was 4. He said something like, "Swim to the shore, and try not to stir up too much mud." I think he was trying to fish. But the opposite happened with me. I just LOVED the water after that. I was going off the high-dive the next year.
As soon as I find a swimsuit that fits similar to a Hefty bag, I plan to join the Y again.
[2:18 PM] Ms. Rose:
Pearl Jam has a song called "Green Disease." They were talking about greed.
[2:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
For some reason the song Free Falling came into my head other day and I changed the words to Free Peeing
[2:26 PM] Ms. Rose:
Mr. Brown. C'mon. Everyone knows it's "Free Ballin'." I don't even have balls and I know that.
[2:27 PM] Mr. Brown:
But if you stand up to pee, don't aim, and just let it free, its “free peeing”
Lets just say I was a little buzzed when I thought of it
[2:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Actually, I can't get through that Petty song without swapping "Write her name in the sky" with "Write her name in the snow"
[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:
As a member of the opposite sex, I can neither stand nor aim to pee.
[2:31 PM] Mr. Brown:
I read a article that was questions women had for men. One was “If you don't hold it when you pee does it flail around?
[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:
When are they going to sing songs about ME?!
[2:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
(guy at bar) "It's silly and naughty, but I used to write in the snow for my girlfriend, Sue. After we broke up I tried it with my new girl, Virginia...man...I had to hurt myself pounding down a half gallon of beer and could only get as far as 'Virgin'. Dumped me for being a creep."
As to the standing to pee thing, a buddy of mine had a friend who lost a substantial bet to a woman who claimed she could hit a specified target on a brick wall while standing.
[2:38 PM] Ms. Rose:
Reminds me of the "Skittles" trick.
[2:39 PM] Mr. Silver:
Granted it was not in male "fireman" position
Please tell me it's not a "taste the rainbow" trick
Eh...go ahead...
[2:40 PM] Ms. Rose:
My friend with the power company sent me this excuse for not paying a bill “My adult son was diagnosed with Bazin disease (erythema induratum) last fall. This caused him to lose his job and move back in with me.”
[2:41 PM] Mr. Blue:
It occurs mainly in women, but is very rare now.
She should call 'em out
[2:42 PM] Ms. Rose:
Yeah, I kind of wish I hadn't Wiki-ed this.
I mean, does this require round-the-clock care? She said she pays his car insurance so he can get to appointments. Dude, if you can drive, you can get a job.
[2:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
“My adult son was diagnosed with Blazin' disease (cannabis everydayum) and had to move back into my basement.”
[2:45 PM] Mr. Brown:
I'm sure it hurts. They disable people for lesser things
[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
He has "ba-ZING"!
[2:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
"adult son" sounds weird.
"my son, who is fully grown and very large, so large you wouldn't believe it, had to move back in with me."
[2:46 PM] Ms. Rose:
OMG, Mr. Blue. (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[2:46 PM] Mr. Blue:
He needs 30CCs of Chuck Lorre sitcoms every 2 hours
[2:46 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Was your source of income your adult male son's job as a female leg model?"
[2:47 PM] Mr. Brown:
"my adult son moved back in with me. He has diabeties. They sent him a box and in that box was a key to my home with a note saying go home and don't pay the electricity bill."
[2:49 PM] Ms. Rose:
Guys! Stop! You're killing me! *tears!* (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
Mr. Silver, you had better be saving this. The Russians will love it!
I can't stop laughing!
"so large you wouldn't believe it!" (rofl)
"I mean, seriously, his calves are freaking HUGE!"
[2:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
I did
Problem is, the blog is just a tad backed up
Like I currently have 137 pages to sift though...
In the first of four collections...
Each one I put up is approximately 5 pages. Chaff accounts for about a half page...
So
25 entries... Maybe 75 entries altogether...so after the Blog grows 20% bigger, we'll get to posting this one.
Interesting, really. I assume this blog is completely unique – unless someone stole the idea and is making piles of money being half as clever as us.
And there is such a vast collection of content on it
[3:09 PM] Ms. Rose:
Bazin Disease Awareness is a serious issue, Mr. Silver. Find a way to get the word out sooner.
If today was the first time I learned about Bazin disease, I imagine there are many piles of money being given to people other than us.
[3:33 PM] Mr. Blue:
It's insane how many diseases there are that we don't even know about
[3:34 PM] Mr. Silver:
"What are these spots, doctor?"
"Uh...mmm...that's...Buhhhzin. Bazin... Disease..."
"Is it dangerous?"
"Sure is! And expensive!"
[3:35 PM] Mr. Brown:
I have sjogrens
So yeah, I know about rare crazy stuff
[1:32 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Neanderthal dread of being caught dead in a parka probably led to extinction" say a quartet of haute couture archaeologists at Simon Fraser University
[1:35 PM] Ms. Rose:
...being caught dead in a North Face brand parka. Duh!
[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:
I read something that said they was built for dense forests
[1:39 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Arcoutureologist) "Honestly, who is to blame them? It's a style that is Paleolithic, at best, sweetie. Unfortunately a stylish pant and jacket combination will only go so far. They died out, but they looked fabulous!"
[1:40 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)
New, this season. From Calvin Cro-Magnon...
[1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yves Saint Olduvai's latest ice age hides are hot Hot HOT!
[1:43 PM] Ms. Rose:
:-D
[1:43 PM] Mr. Brown:
Tommy Hill Digger
[1:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
:)
[1:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
GOOD ONE, Mr. Brown!
Rocks are a cave-girl's best friend. Exclusive new collections available now, at Troglodyte's of London.
[1:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
The United Color of Bone-ton
[1:48 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[9:48 AM] Mr. Silver:
Picture on one of my sites last night...Tony Stark in helmet, looking exasperated. "Brace yourselves...millions of women are going to discover Harley Quinn in about a week..."
[9:51 AM] Mr. Blue:
The marketing for that movie has made me not want to see it ever; particularly all the stuff about how idiotic Jared Leto acted in character
[9:52 AM] Mr. Silver:
Like to get in character? I read some of that, yes
[9:53 AM] Mr. Blue:
Like other cast members talking about how he'd send packages of bullets to their dressing rooms. Oh, he sent a dead rat to Margot Robbie. That's stupid.. get over yourself
[9:53 AM] Mr. Brown:
I read somewhere he sent them all used condoms too
[9:54 AM] Mr. Silver:
He says he ODd watching psychopath films/etc to get what he wanted
My main issue is this:
[9:56 AM] Mr. Blue:
They look like Juggalos
[9:57 AM] Mr. Silver:
"A team of top well-known villains!”
It includes 3 distinct women, a guy with a prune face, and "some guys".
"We're sure you'll be able to tell them apart by the end!"
[9:57 AM] Mr. Blue:
This movie will slay in the demographic of 16-32 year old white men that leave the stickers on their fitted caps
A guy that can light anything around him on fire vs. a girl with a baseball bat
Reviews sound pretty negative
The Joker doesn't even have much screen time
[10:03 AM] Mr. Silver:
Comic character power balance has never been the industry's strong suit.
This comes off as an artist watching "The Dirty Dozen" and saying "I could do that!"
Except “The Dirty Dozen” makes sense
[10:05 AM] Ms. Rose:
I am not at all looking forward to “Suicide Squad”. But I must attend, as part of my girlfriendly duties. *sigh*
This is why movie theaters need to serve alcohol.
[10:05 AM] Mr. Silver:
Put your hair in different colored pigtails and take a big mallet to the show.
Write "Boyfriend 'This Better Not Suck' Beater" on it with an angry emoji on the faces
[10:10 AM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)
Monday, May 29, 2017
400 - "I Don't Know Art But I Know What I Don't Like", The Latest in Eating-Edge Tech From From Imhotep Security Services, Tech Support For Caffeine Freaks, Goldwang, Jumpcut Joy, and Technologies Of The Junk Ages
[12:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
I'm reminded of the film Caligula
Not the sex and violence, so much as the emperor going loopy
The only time I watched the whole thing, I got the impression that it was really about a man who no one dared naysay
Testing the limits of that immunity by coming up with the craziest antics he could, just to see if anyone would protest.
So I was wondering if Trump is just trying to test the limits of his idiot fans for the narcissistic pleasure? I mean, the guy just isn't winning the White House.
(In retrospect – AUGH!!! Mr. Silver)
[12:50 PM] Mr. Blue:
Maybe he's like Farage and Johnson in the UK
Didn't actually think Brexit would succeed... now they're jumping ship
Trump's like.. “Hoo boy. I didn't think I'd actually get this far.”
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
I think I'd noticed because I'd recently had an argument about Andy Warhol doing the same thing.
Though in his case, it was purposely making lots of non-art just to see if people would continue to claim it was good.
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
Did you see that story, recently, where someone put their glasses on the floor at a modern art museum and people started taking pictures of it thinking it was someone's work
[1:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yeah, I liked that glasses one.
Same sort of thing happened at the Philly Museum, kind of. My brother in law worked there and had stories. One time a worker left a drop cloth and some other painting supplies in one of the galleries and people were checking it out.
He said they installed an abstract piece once and it was as displayed until the artist visited and told them it was upside down.
[1:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
Or the story of the cleaning lady that threw away someone's exhibit because it was literally trash strewn on the floor.
If literally anyone can do it or duplicate it, it's not really art IMO
I mean, anything can be hard, but if it doesn't require talent I don't wanna see or hear it [1:17 PM] Mr. Silver:
Some of the “achievements” are definitely just crap, yes.
There are some subtle things, though. Nor sure I'd call them art as much as showing off an experiment or mastering a technique though.
[1:18 PM] Mr. Blue:
Even if you look at stuff like naive art -- most of the most famous and lucrative painters in those "shitty" styles were actually well trained and could paint realism if they wanted, they just chose not to. Or they tried to but weren't good enough or the market was too saturated
You don't necessarily have to show all your talent in your craft, but you do need to have some
[1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Silver Jr. and kids with us at Carnegie) "It's just a white rectangle!"
"Ah, but is it? Come close...really close. Look. Can you see all the squares and the different textures in each one?"
"Ohhhhhhh..."
[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:
I'm going to put paint on the canvas then piss on it
ART
I should take a black and white photo of me pissing on a bug zapper. Call it Yellow Steam even though it's B&W.
[1:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Fashion is kinda similar - at least high runway-type fashion
Make these poor girls wear garbage bags and old McDonald's wrappers and then profess it has some deep meaning about today's society being a "throw away culture"
[1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, there's fashion and there's fashion, I suppose
No one actually wears an art piece outside.
[11:10 AM] Mr. Silver:
So my last Arabian Nights adventure is coming up and it was killin' me coming up with a reasonable plot to match the idea I had.
Finally cracked it and finished my intro yesterday
It's all about stealing a crown jewel
[11:12 AM] Mr. Blue:
What kind?
[11:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
A crown, actually :D Anyway, I decided I had to do some research into old-style security methods
Got into the history of locks and guard animals and such.
My favorite was:
[12:09 PM] Mr. Blue:
So what was your favorite???
[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Been trying to write it for an hour...I'm 6 words in)
[12:21 PM] Ms. Rose:
He's busier than Jesus.
[12:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
"In ancient Egypt if it was important enough you would take the object, seal it in 'a block' of wood, sink it in a pool and then put crocodiles in the pool, and underfeed the crocodiles."
"If you needed it back out, you had to kill the crocodiles one at a time, or poison the pool."
[12:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
So if you want good loot, look for the guy with a pool of crocodiles in his back yard
"Hey Ramses, what's with the crocs?"
"Oh nothing, I just like crocs. I'm definitely not hiding anything in there if that's what you're driving at."
[12:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
"No blocks of sealed wood about?"
[12:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
"No. Now if you'll excuse me I have to underfeed my crocs."
[1:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
"I see you have a jar of Imhotep's 'Little Anubis' Pool Poison. They're the best!"
“Oh yes. Er. Gotta maintain the pool...otherwise I'd have crocs up to my eye of Horus eyeliner.
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
If I had a moat I'd put bull sharks in there
[10:06 AM] Mr. Blue:
I’m in the "women that drink too much coffee" queue
[10:10 AM] Mr. Silver:
"I'vebeenhavingalotoftroublewithhowslowtheVPNisrecentlyandheartpalpitaionsand(pause...sip noise)andI'dlikeatozzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ*******````````!!"
(Dogs start distressed howling and whining in background)
[10:19 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[12:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Tour bus company called "Gold Wang"
Nevermind, its on an an island off the coast of Taiwan
Magong City
[1:01 PM] Mr. Silver:
(James Bond Theme style music) "Gold Wa-ang! He's the man...the man with the wang of gold!"
[1:23 PM] Ms. Rose:
LOL Mr. Silver.
[1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Bond, strapped into bus driver's seat. Auric Goldwang gloating)
"Ever since I was a child I've been fascinated by mass transit. It's passengers...it's profitability...it's divine efficiency.”
“I decided that I would do anything to increase my personal route portfolio. One such as you will not stand in my way.”
(Reaches over...turns ignition key)
“I think you will find this interesting Mr. Bond: it's a hydrogen fuel cell prototype vehicle. Very useful for transporting people...and...other things.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Bond."
(Bond struggles futilely at the seatbelt) "Do you expect me to talk?"
(amused) "NO Mr. Bond! I expect you to DRIVE!"
[2:23 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
Just got to read that!
[2:30 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was going to talk about "Operation: Grand Tram" but it was too many lines away.
[1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
I love a really high-quality botched TV commercial edit.
(Jumping happy golden retriever)
"HeeeeEEEEYYY PET LOVERS!"
(cuts to black and white...hand putting rose on a grave)
"Boylan Funeral Home is here for you in your time of grief..."
[1:22 PM] Ms. Rose
ROFL
[1:22 PM] Mr. Brown
LOL
[12:01 PM] Mr. Blue:
Did Silver Jr. find any sport or athletic activity to his liking?
[12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
No
He's good with axe fighting, broadsword and fencing...and lightsaber I suppose.
[12:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
Just pick up the closest stick
[12:33 PM] Mr. Silver:
When the apocalypse comes and people run out of bullets, he'll be in good shape vs the wastelanders.
[12:41 PM] Mr. Brown:
The alchemists will still have bullets
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
...alchemists?
[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Anybody that can make gunpowder from the elements
They could find a way to make guns work
May be flintlock and such, but they will have guns
[12:56 PM] Mr. Silver:
Assuming they can put together suitable ingredients, there are a couple explosives to make, sure.
[And yes, with no ability to make percussion caps and properly machine parts, we'll be at metal tube muzzleloaders fairly soon.]
[1:02 PM] Mr. Blue:
Bow & arrow would be the ticket
Especially if it's zombies... quieter
Zika might be the new thing - instead of zombies it'll be hordes of cannibal pinheads meandering around
[1:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
I wonder how many chemically-adept people can even find and extract blackpowder ingredients
[1:06 PM] Mr. Blue:
That Cody's Lab guy got gunpowder out of urine
[1:07 PM] Mr. Silver:
He got one ingredient for it out of urine.
This is the "Upside-Down Pyramid" theory I started formulating in college...more a thought experiment.
Culture moves on...basic blocks are pushed out from underneath the pyramid building up to the present as they are "simple" and "no longer needed".
How many blocks can go before it all falls over?
Like the Bronze Age.
It stopped not because iron was better...because it definitely wasn't...
It stopped because they couldn't find anymore tin
There's still ancient bronze stuff all over the place. Practically nothing iron survived very long. Junk metal.
[1:11 PM] Mr. Blue:
Interesting
I thought bronze was softer
Copper certainly wasn't ideal
[1:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
There's a bronze mix that is almost as hard as diamond...granted that's a modern refinement
Bronze
Iron
[1:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
So they just overmined the tin?
Was it at any point just sitting on the ground?
I know that gold used to be, in some places
[1:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
The sources ran out and they couldn't find anymore, yeah
Took a long time...can't recall...Couple thousand years or so (looks)
3300-300BC
Bronze can become "diseased" and start to rot, but it doesn't just rust away.
It usually oxidizes to a brown or green patina and the process stops and it just stays like that.
Rust...well...you've owned cars...
I'm reminded of the film Caligula
Not the sex and violence, so much as the emperor going loopy
The only time I watched the whole thing, I got the impression that it was really about a man who no one dared naysay
Testing the limits of that immunity by coming up with the craziest antics he could, just to see if anyone would protest.
So I was wondering if Trump is just trying to test the limits of his idiot fans for the narcissistic pleasure? I mean, the guy just isn't winning the White House.
(In retrospect – AUGH!!! Mr. Silver)
[12:50 PM] Mr. Blue:
Maybe he's like Farage and Johnson in the UK
Didn't actually think Brexit would succeed... now they're jumping ship
Trump's like.. “Hoo boy. I didn't think I'd actually get this far.”
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
I think I'd noticed because I'd recently had an argument about Andy Warhol doing the same thing.
Though in his case, it was purposely making lots of non-art just to see if people would continue to claim it was good.
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
Did you see that story, recently, where someone put their glasses on the floor at a modern art museum and people started taking pictures of it thinking it was someone's work
[1:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yeah, I liked that glasses one.
Same sort of thing happened at the Philly Museum, kind of. My brother in law worked there and had stories. One time a worker left a drop cloth and some other painting supplies in one of the galleries and people were checking it out.
He said they installed an abstract piece once and it was as displayed until the artist visited and told them it was upside down.
[1:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
Or the story of the cleaning lady that threw away someone's exhibit because it was literally trash strewn on the floor.
If literally anyone can do it or duplicate it, it's not really art IMO
I mean, anything can be hard, but if it doesn't require talent I don't wanna see or hear it [1:17 PM] Mr. Silver:
Some of the “achievements” are definitely just crap, yes.
There are some subtle things, though. Nor sure I'd call them art as much as showing off an experiment or mastering a technique though.
[1:18 PM] Mr. Blue:
Even if you look at stuff like naive art -- most of the most famous and lucrative painters in those "shitty" styles were actually well trained and could paint realism if they wanted, they just chose not to. Or they tried to but weren't good enough or the market was too saturated
You don't necessarily have to show all your talent in your craft, but you do need to have some
[1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Silver Jr. and kids with us at Carnegie) "It's just a white rectangle!"
"Ah, but is it? Come close...really close. Look. Can you see all the squares and the different textures in each one?"
"Ohhhhhhh..."
[1:36 PM] Mr. Brown:
I'm going to put paint on the canvas then piss on it
ART
I should take a black and white photo of me pissing on a bug zapper. Call it Yellow Steam even though it's B&W.
[1:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Fashion is kinda similar - at least high runway-type fashion
Make these poor girls wear garbage bags and old McDonald's wrappers and then profess it has some deep meaning about today's society being a "throw away culture"
[1:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, there's fashion and there's fashion, I suppose
No one actually wears an art piece outside.
[11:10 AM] Mr. Silver:
So my last Arabian Nights adventure is coming up and it was killin' me coming up with a reasonable plot to match the idea I had.
Finally cracked it and finished my intro yesterday
It's all about stealing a crown jewel
[11:12 AM] Mr. Blue:
What kind?
[11:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
A crown, actually :D Anyway, I decided I had to do some research into old-style security methods
Got into the history of locks and guard animals and such.
My favorite was:
[12:09 PM] Mr. Blue:
So what was your favorite???
[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Been trying to write it for an hour...I'm 6 words in)
[12:21 PM] Ms. Rose:
He's busier than Jesus.
[12:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
"In ancient Egypt if it was important enough you would take the object, seal it in 'a block' of wood, sink it in a pool and then put crocodiles in the pool, and underfeed the crocodiles."
"If you needed it back out, you had to kill the crocodiles one at a time, or poison the pool."
[12:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
So if you want good loot, look for the guy with a pool of crocodiles in his back yard
"Hey Ramses, what's with the crocs?"
"Oh nothing, I just like crocs. I'm definitely not hiding anything in there if that's what you're driving at."
[12:58 PM] Mr. Silver:
"No blocks of sealed wood about?"
[12:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
"No. Now if you'll excuse me I have to underfeed my crocs."
[1:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
"I see you have a jar of Imhotep's 'Little Anubis' Pool Poison. They're the best!"
“Oh yes. Er. Gotta maintain the pool...otherwise I'd have crocs up to my eye of Horus eyeliner.
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heheh
If I had a moat I'd put bull sharks in there
[10:06 AM] Mr. Blue:
I’m in the "women that drink too much coffee" queue
[10:10 AM] Mr. Silver:
"I'vebeenhavingalotoftroublewithhowslowtheVPNisrecentlyandheartpalpitaionsand(pause...sip noise)andI'dlikeatozzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ*******````````!!"
(Dogs start distressed howling and whining in background)
[10:19 AM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[12:52 PM] Mr. Blue:
Tour bus company called "Gold Wang"
Nevermind, its on an an island off the coast of Taiwan
Magong City
[1:01 PM] Mr. Silver:
(James Bond Theme style music) "Gold Wa-ang! He's the man...the man with the wang of gold!"
[1:23 PM] Ms. Rose:
LOL Mr. Silver.
[1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Bond, strapped into bus driver's seat. Auric Goldwang gloating)
"Ever since I was a child I've been fascinated by mass transit. It's passengers...it's profitability...it's divine efficiency.”
“I decided that I would do anything to increase my personal route portfolio. One such as you will not stand in my way.”
(Reaches over...turns ignition key)
“I think you will find this interesting Mr. Bond: it's a hydrogen fuel cell prototype vehicle. Very useful for transporting people...and...other things.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Bond."
(Bond struggles futilely at the seatbelt) "Do you expect me to talk?"
(amused) "NO Mr. Bond! I expect you to DRIVE!"
[2:23 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
Just got to read that!
[2:30 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was going to talk about "Operation: Grand Tram" but it was too many lines away.
[1:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
I love a really high-quality botched TV commercial edit.
(Jumping happy golden retriever)
"HeeeeEEEEYYY PET LOVERS!"
(cuts to black and white...hand putting rose on a grave)
"Boylan Funeral Home is here for you in your time of grief..."
[1:22 PM] Ms. Rose
ROFL
[1:22 PM] Mr. Brown
LOL
[12:01 PM] Mr. Blue:
Did Silver Jr. find any sport or athletic activity to his liking?
[12:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
No
He's good with axe fighting, broadsword and fencing...and lightsaber I suppose.
[12:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
Just pick up the closest stick
[12:33 PM] Mr. Silver:
When the apocalypse comes and people run out of bullets, he'll be in good shape vs the wastelanders.
[12:41 PM] Mr. Brown:
The alchemists will still have bullets
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
...alchemists?
[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Anybody that can make gunpowder from the elements
They could find a way to make guns work
May be flintlock and such, but they will have guns
[12:56 PM] Mr. Silver:
Assuming they can put together suitable ingredients, there are a couple explosives to make, sure.
[And yes, with no ability to make percussion caps and properly machine parts, we'll be at metal tube muzzleloaders fairly soon.]
[1:02 PM] Mr. Blue:
Bow & arrow would be the ticket
Especially if it's zombies... quieter
Zika might be the new thing - instead of zombies it'll be hordes of cannibal pinheads meandering around
[1:05 PM] Mr. Silver:
I wonder how many chemically-adept people can even find and extract blackpowder ingredients
[1:06 PM] Mr. Blue:
That Cody's Lab guy got gunpowder out of urine
[1:07 PM] Mr. Silver:
He got one ingredient for it out of urine.
This is the "Upside-Down Pyramid" theory I started formulating in college...more a thought experiment.
Culture moves on...basic blocks are pushed out from underneath the pyramid building up to the present as they are "simple" and "no longer needed".
How many blocks can go before it all falls over?
Like the Bronze Age.
It stopped not because iron was better...because it definitely wasn't...
It stopped because they couldn't find anymore tin
There's still ancient bronze stuff all over the place. Practically nothing iron survived very long. Junk metal.
[1:11 PM] Mr. Blue:
Interesting
I thought bronze was softer
Copper certainly wasn't ideal
[1:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
There's a bronze mix that is almost as hard as diamond...granted that's a modern refinement
Bronze
Iron
[1:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
So they just overmined the tin?
Was it at any point just sitting on the ground?
I know that gold used to be, in some places
[1:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
The sources ran out and they couldn't find anymore, yeah
Took a long time...can't recall...Couple thousand years or so (looks)
3300-300BC
Bronze can become "diseased" and start to rot, but it doesn't just rust away.
It usually oxidizes to a brown or green patina and the process stops and it just stays like that.
Rust...well...you've owned cars...
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