468 - Dumping The Name On You, It Takes A Lottery Hard Work, The Hottest Kids' Game, and Mean World Tour

[9:15 AM]

Client - Foister, Sandra

"What are we gonna DO with all this crap?"

"No idea.  Wait, I know! Call Sandra. She'll find SOMEbody to unload it on."

Doesn't sound like a family name that has a good legacy...

[9:18 AM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[9:52 AM] Mr. Yellow:

I think I need a 3 year vacation

[9:52 AM]

Only 3?

[9:52 AM] Mr. Yellow:

Not sure what I would do. Probably that is too short.

[9:53 AM]

So...given 3 years of regular pay and benes with assurance of job at return, what would you do?

Its kind of the opposite approach of the "basic income" theory.  Still an interesting exercise though.

(Mr. Silvers's anthropologist persona pokes pith-helmeted head out of bush and holds up microphone).

Technically you'd have exactly the same available money...just 40+x more free hours a week.

[9:59 AM] Mr. Yellow:

Oh I would love to win lottery and never work again.

[9:59 AM]

I'd love to win the lottery and do lottery money sized projects.

I couldn't do nothing

[9:59 AM] Mr. Yellow:

Well, work is doing things you do not love to do.

So if you love what you are doing, then it is not work.

[10:01 AM]

(wince)

Novel and adventure writing and game design are all things I love, but they are definitely work.

My sister confessed she quit working on her book.

"It was too hard on everyone, not just me."

I knew what she meant.

I was getting up early, staying up late, ignored Mrs. and Silver Jr. for hours and days and weeks – and irritable over their interruptions. 

[12:34 PM] Mr. Yellow:

I guess that is why authors who have families always thank them in the forward.

[12:34 PM]

Probably, yes.

[3:23 PM]

Speaking of fire...thinking of playing Snapdragon this year.

Never knew for sure what it was, but having read it in an old book again...and through the miracle of modern YouTube...

There's some videos of actual 21st century people playing.

[3:25 PM] Mr. Blue:

Sounds dangerous.

[3:25 PM]

Looks dangerous

Therefore it's usually something played by children aged 6 to 16 in England

[3:32 PM] Mr. Blue:

Skin usually grows back anyway.

[3:32 PM]

LOL

[3:33 PM] Mr. Brown:

Makes meals taste different for weeks

[3:34 PM]

Looks to be mostly a boldness thing.  Even the people whose hands CATCH FIRE just tap or blow it out and shrug it off.  Must be a pretty low burn temperature.  I couldn't look it up though.

[2:45 PM] Mr. Blue:

So going back to the thing yesterday about having 3 years off with pay.

Lets say you plan 1 trip per year. 1 destination each. About 3 days spent at that destination. No tours. Just 1 stop. 1 relative geographical area

Where do you go?

Here's mine: Tokyo, Reyjkjavik, and either Moscow or St. Petersburg

[3:07 PM]

Ooo....been too busy for that question but I like it.

[3:08 PM] Mr. Brown:

Ireland, Scotland, Tokyo.

[3:08 PM] Mr. Blue:

I thought maybe Iceland and Russia are too similar, culturally, but I couldn't think of a better option.

If I picked an alternate it'd be some place warm / Mediterranean but none of those places really jump out at me.

Gonna change my answer

Iceland is cool but Reykjavik isn't some place you'd wanna spend a weekend... I'd need more like 5 days to see the whole country.

So Tokyo, Moscow or St. Petersburg and Budapest

That's the ticket... Budapest

[3:25 PM]

Bah...time is fleeting and I need a travel wishlist...

I'd visit the Sami...

Um...

[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hungarians are just swarthier Lapps

[3:26 PM]

Dad was big on Hong Kong, but I dunno...

[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

Not a lot of history...tangible history at least.

Just all glass and steel.

[3:26 PM]

Hungarians or Lapps?

Heh

[3:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hong Kong, I mean

[3:27 PM]

;-)

[3:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

Tokyo doesn't have much either, but I think there's still a little bit left... a few temples and some side-streets that are still pre-war.

[3:30 PM] Mr. Brown:

I just like Japan in general, so going to see it would be cool.

Even if I only stepped outside, looked at the big city, and got back on the plane

[3:30 PM] Mr. Blue:

Japan has all the positives of being *extremely* foreign and different to us... but also being extremely safe even for westerners like us that would stick out like a sore thumb

Japan has probably the most unique culture on Earth, maybe. Certainly amongst first world nations

[3:32 PM] Mr. Brown:

There, we are the people walking around with cameras

You can put on a colored wig and wear a tutu if you want

Nobody would look at you sideways

[3:33 PM]

Been watching Kirsten Dunst videos?

[3:33 PM] Mr. Blue:

They're very xenophobic, but like, in a respectful way

[3:33 PM] Mr. Brown:

They have ass walls

I would love to go there just to look at vending machines

[3:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

Even the little things would be interesting

Just the whole kawaii culture

Like even steel companies and the DMV have cute little mascots

[3:35 PM] Mr. Brown:

I'd maybe find a place that still makes swords

Watch them do it, maybe

[3:35 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yep

They still have the wasabi farms and the tea houses that do everything the way they used to 400 years ago. I'm sure they have swordsmiths that still use traditional techniques

[3:36 PM] Mr. Brown:

We would be taller than most of them

[3:37 PM]

I'd go to Japan just not sure where...crazy modern or total traditional

3 days...just cruel

[3:37 PM] Mr. Brown:

I like the UK also, but there are lots of bombings there. lol

[3:38 PM]

LOL?

You've got some Mean World Syndrome

[3:38 PM] Mr. Brown:

Yep

Riding on a double decker... BOOM

[3:39 PM] Mr. Blue:

Scotland and Northern Ireland are the UK and they're alright

But yeah... England is messy recently.

[3:40 PM] Mr. Brown:

They have the moped mobs in England right now too

[3:40 PM] Mr. Blue:

Even if the risk of getting blown up is zilch, its affect on your ability to enjoy the trip isn't

Yeah, people are splashing each other with acid

I guess when you import 500,000 Pakistanis, don't be surprised when London starts resembling Islamabad

[3:41 PM] Mr. Brown:

At least in Scotland or Ireland you only have to deal with getting in a drunken brawl

[3:41 PM] Mr. Blue:

Or maybe the IRA, but they usually warn ahead when they bomb

[3:49 PM]

The most astonishing case of Mean World Syndrome I saw recently was in an Agatha Christie novel (“Hallowe'en” – The snapdragon thing was in it.  Murder at a Halloween party of a 12 year old who claimed she saw a murder once.  I figured out half. )

(Reading) "Damn...She makes it sound like the UK murder rate is about 1 per 100 and everyone is blase about it."

They kept discussing kids and young women disappearing all the time to the hands of mental defectives because there's no room at institutions.

This takes place in a sleepy little town with maybe 100/150 people implied.  Hercule Poirot visits a retired police detective he knew who settled there. 

(Poirot) "Any candidate murders or disappearances in the last few years the child might have seen?"

(Detective) “Oh a few... (rattles off a horrifying list of stabbings, throttlings, missing persons and highly-suspicious-but-deemed-normal deaths)"

"So nothing unusual."

"No. Why?"

(Me) "Jebus! Agatha was Crazy-Eights BONKERS!"

467 - The Team Sounds Off On Their Teeth Hair & Fat, "Or Maybe It Was The 3th", and "Carnal M A G I C"

[9:58 AM] Mr. Blue:

I was bald until much later... Got my baby teeth later... Got my adult teeth later... Hit puberty later.

32 and still can't grow a beard.

[9:58 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Listen

I'm on my THIRD set of teeth

Seriously

No lie

[9:59 AM] Mr. Blue:

Like a shark

[9:59 AM] Mr. McGreen:

First ones came in with no enamel and went bad real fast.

[10:00 AM] Mr. Blue:

I did that thing where my adult teeth were coming in but my baby teeth hadn't fallen out yet.

Most of my baby teeth had to be pulled.

[10:00 AM]

(Shudder)

[10:00 AM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah, it wasn't fun.

[10:00 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Ew ew ew!!!

[10:03 AM] Mr. Brown:

My T levels have definitely jumped big time in the last year or so.

Maybe you will get a spike too, Mr. Blue, and grow more beard

Or you will get hair in your ears

[10:04 AM] Mr. Blue:

Ear hair gains...that's what I want.

[10:05 AM] Mr. Brown:

Grow the ear hair out long and comb it down to be a beard

[10:06 AM]

Ear beards

[10:07 AM] Mr. Brown:

Get the eyeybrows going and connect them in too

Circle beard

[10:08 AM] Mr. McGreen:

I cant grow a beard either

[10:08 AM] Mr. Brown:

I can but I have a bald spot, and it's thicker on my neck

[10:13 AM] Mr. McGreen:

A beard and being bald looks tough

Do it Mr. Brown

And Mr. Blue, if you try hard and believe in yourself, your beard will come buddy

[10:14 AM]

So basically I'm the silverback gorilla of the group...

[10:14 AM] Mr. McGreen:

You are aging beautifully.

[10:15 AM]

Actually, the term at home has been slowly shifting as I lose brown from "Jesus" to “philosopher, to "God"...to occasionally "Santa".

[10:15 AM] Mr. McGreen:

You're not fat though.

[10:16 AM]

(looks down) This part in the middle is.  Kinda bowl-of-jelly looking.

[10:16 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Yeah, I have a gut too

Mr. Blue, how do I lose my gut?

You like fitness.

[10:19 AM] Mr. Blue:

Lose weight.

[10:19 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Hmmm

Can I do this WITHOUT dieting?

[10:20 AM] Mr. Blue:

Burn more calories than you eat.

[10:20 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yes, don't eat a whole serving of the chicken and waffles from Chilis in one day

[10:20 AM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[10:21 AM] Mr. McGreen:

What's the thing about chicken and waffles?

[10:21 AM] Mr. Blue:

It's a thing at Chilis that has 2950 calories in 1 meal.

Mr. Brown ate it a few weeks ago.

[10:21 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Don't Southern people like that?

[10:21 AM] Mr. Blue:

They do, but their heart and arteries don't.

[10:21 AM] Mr. Brown:

Well their chicken and waffles are probably not as bad as that particular meal. Chili's version was scientifically developed to kill a man.

[10:22 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Did you use syrup? You should have skipped the syrup.

[10:23 AM] Mr. Blue:

Weight loss - you may or not be aware - is just calories in vs. calories out

Eat less than you burn and you lose weight.. eat more than you burn and you gain weight

But you'll lose (or gain) muscle as well as fat, so...don't be sedentary.

[10:24 AM] Mr. McGreen:

See - everything online is like diet diet diet

I can do the exercising

I enjoy lifting

[10:24 AM]

And so you burn calories

I was appalled to find out how heavy some of my gamer friends are.

(Me looking around, aghast) "Man...I was upset that I'm 195-8."

[10:25 AM] Mr. Blue:

Same here

[10:26 AM] Mr. McGreen:

I'm like 230

[10:26 AM] Mr. Blue:

I should be 180, comfortably.

[10:26 AM] Mr. McGreen:

Yeah, I want to be 190

[10:27 AM] Mr. Brown:

I'm 183, but some charts say I should be 170

[10:27 AM] Mr. Blue:

You definitely don't look 230, Mr. McGreen

You must be really dense, like a white dwarf star.

[10:29 AM]

https://www.google.com/search?q=peter+dinklage&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwit9qONvIbVAhVMaD4KHSZVC54Q_AUICygC&biw=1162&bih=770

...cause...

...he's a white dwarf star...

[10:29 AM] Mr. Blue:

Got it.

[10:30 AM]

Oh, I knew you would – I was explaining it for the benefit of the Russians reading this.

[10:30 AM] Mr. Blue:

Heheheh

MST3K - Giant Spider Invasion: "And here we have the more unusual stars..."  "Like Linda Hunt."  "...and that is a white dwarf."  "...Like Linda Hunt."

[10:32 AM]

LOL

[1:15 PM]

God this one is neverending.

Taking too long.

[1:33 PM] Mr. Oleo:

That phone call is?

[1:35 PM]

The situation was.

Just called back after 1nd break and wrapped it up, but I've been trying to resolve it since noon.

Sorry. I meant 2st break

[1:36 PM] Mr. Oleo:

Well was it your 1nd or 2st break?

[1:36 PM]  

Yes

[1:37 PM] Mr. Oleo:

LOL

[9:00 AM]

Morning Mr. Brown

So... "Carnival M    A     G    I    C" on MST3K.

What a mess that was.

Bud looked familiar.

They never perpetrated "Carnival Magic 2" as advertised...ah well. 

[9:22 AM] Mr. Brown:

Driving talking chimp

Normal nice-looking girl wearing tomboy attire then dressing up

The guy love interest was sub par by a lot. The guy could not act.

[9:23 AM]

Odd movie

But if that was “family" fare cinema, then it was "carny-family" fare

(Writers' session at the picnic table in front of the Tilt-O-Whirl at 1:30AM - everyone is there)

"The chimp fantasy plot is funny and exciting for everyone.  And I like the gritty realism of the depression/drinking/slapping-around grown-up stuff.  But if we're going to entertain the whole American Family, I think we should put in a subplot that the kids can relate to and get a chuckle out of."

"I'm interested.  What did you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking 'Young Love'.  What if we have the typical experience of a 16-17 year old girl lying about going out to bowl or skate in front of the dad so she can lure the 24 year old man into his van so they can "talk"."

“That's good stuff!  Who doesn't remember doing that kind of thing?”

(mumbled agreement from crowd)

[9:27 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yeah... 'cause the other way around with that guy luring a 17 year old girl? WOWZA

JUST a bit predatory

Scratch that! Reverse it!

"We'll have the girl luring the man!"

That'll be...uh...better.

[9:29 AM]

He actually started the process

[9:29 AM] Mr. Brown:

Yes, I guess he did.

[9:29 AM]

(writer stops taking notes...slaps pencil down)

“Got a problem...I just realized we can't film them while they're F-ing."

(confusion and disbelief)

"I know, I know... Remember...its a Family film, people.  We're going for a G, not an R.”

(rumbles of disappointment)

“I dunno, seems like a wasted opportunity to not film them.  We're supposed to wait and just move to the next scene after they're done?  It'll look incomplete."

"Hmmm.  How about we shoot from outside the van and record the sounds they make?"

(general approval with the compromise)

"It'd be just like a regular-old night after-hours, here on the grounds.  'Sounds of Life in the Carnival'.  Realistic.  Immersive.  And we'll keep our rating.  I like it!  The romantic sub-plot still needs something, though, to give it some oomph."

"What if we have the dad cry when he figures out what's been going on! Think of the drama!"

"Bittersweet memories - it'll bring the parents in the audience right back in.  Brilliant!"

"Should he knock her up for the story?" 

"Woah!  Isn't that too much for Family entertainment!"

"How much more Family can it get?"

(mumbled agreeing) 

"How about at the end she just goes to the dad and says "We're engaged".  She can say 'engaged' with a bit of a nod-n-wink tone."

"Hmm... Put her in a dress instead of regular clothes...it'll be symbolic.  And he can look them over and say something really funny, like, "Guess I won't need my shotgun then"."

(group laughs and giggles)

"See?  Folks will relate.  This is gonna be gold."

[9:35 AM] Mr. Brown:

I forgot - what is the time period for that movie? 70's  80's

[9:35 AM]

It came out in 81

[9:35 AM] Mr. Brown:

Just out of the 70's then.

[9:35 AM]

I had a really hard time when Mr. Silver asked, too.  I decided it was the late 70s based on the shorts and shirts...and behavior.

[9:35 AM] Mr. Brown:

That better explains the 17 and 24 year old thing I guess.

[9:35 AM]

We don't know that she was actually that young.

[9:35 AM] Mr. Brown:

True

[9:35 AM]

Or him that old.

[9:35 AM] Mr. Brown:

But they look it

[9:36 AM]

Nod

(I looked it up...she was 18 when they filmed it. It's now slightly less creepy – Mr. Silver)