1:38 PM Mr. Blue
Why do the women here talk so much about clients? Like, on their breaks and after work and stuff?
Get over that stuff!
1:39 PM Mr. Amethyst
What else do they have to do?
1:39 PM Mr. Gray
I know...the last thing I want to do outside is talk about my job. I'm there to take a BREAK from it.
1:39 PM Mr. Blue
Exactly!
They're out there smoking - "SO I SAID TO HIM, I'M LIKE, LISTEN, WE CAN'T DO NOTHIN FOR YA BLAHBLAHBLAH" Shut up!
1:41 PM Mr. Silver
They have 2 X chromosomes, that’s why.
Leg 3 on the X chromosome is there to make babies, just like our Y.
Leg 4 is to constantly ruminate on things and talk about them every waking minute.
Otherwise we're about the same.
1:43 PM Mr. Blue
We complain in here, but at least we're on the clock.
We’re complaining as we do our jobs. They're out there on their break, or done with their shift, STILL talking about it.
1:46 PM Mr. Silver
We're quiet and looking for meat to kill and stuff
1:47 PM Mr. Silver
Men may not admit it, but we go for a walk on break and deep down we are scoping the game, watching for subtle movements...
Scanning for predators…
Assessing female shapes...
1:47 PM Mr. Brown
Yep
1:50 PM Mr. Silver
(Reptile hindbrain) "I don't like the looks of that guy over there...I should pee on a tree or something so he knows this break area and these women are mine."
Mr. Brown
8:07 AM Mr. Silver
"A Paintshop user's oval and triangles conception of the Aurora aircraft."
8:08 AM Mr. Amethyst
lol
2:39 PM Mr. Amethyst
"THE INTERNET BLACKOUT VIRUS!!! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!"
2:40 PM Mr. Amethyst
Fox News said 4 million people would lose their connection.
2:40 PM Mr. Orange
WOW
2:40 PM Mr. Orange
Way to go, Faux News.
2:40 PM Mr. Amethyst
The actual estimate? 64000 USA.
2:40 PM Mr. Blue
4,000,000 and 65,000 are close
In the grand scheme of how many things are in the universe.
2:41 PM Mr. Orange
Right.....
2:50 PM Mr. Silver
“4,000,000 and 65,000 are close”
You just have to use Fox math.
It's only 2 more zeros, and zeros aren't worth anything, right?
So their estimate is actually lower than the liberal panic-mongers' 64,000
Because 40 is less than 64, right?
2:53 PM Mr. Orange
Whoa, now that math makes sense, Mr. Silver.
2:54 PM Mr. Amethyst
So 2 +2 is 22 right?
2:54 PM Mr. Orange
No it's 5.
2:54 PM Mr. Amethyst
...how?
2:54 PM Mr. Orange
You've never read “1984”, have you?
2:54 PM Mr. Amethyst
Now I know that 1=-1
and no, I haven’t read it.
2:54 PM Mr. Silver
“2+2=chair!” (Brian Regan)
Infinity=Zero
I've done the mathematical proofs for that one.
Of course it also equals 1.
But 1=0
So it all works out
2:56 PM Mr. Amethyst
So every 1 vote = 0 votes. So we really don’t get a choice in who we elect.
Mr. Silver
Well, they do count to cancel out opposing votes (infinity-infinity=0). But in the end, only the first unopposed vote wins 100% of the contest. The remainder don’t count at all (infinity+(infinity*n)=infinity). So the ads saying “a single vote counts!” is true. One person’s one vote selects the winner.
Mr. Amethyst
Y’all wanna buy a school?
10:56 AM Mr. Blue
How much?
10:56 AM Mr. Amethyst
I’m thinking like a million dollars.
10:56 AM Mr. Blue
I don't have that.
11:19 AM Mr. Silver
$5?
11:20 AM Mr. Amethyst
I have 5. Do I hear 10?
(about 40 minutes later…)
11:59 AM Mr. Silver
It looks like I just bought a school.
11:59 AM Mr. Blue
Hahaha! You have to pay the teachers’ salaries now, SUCKER!
Owned!
12:01 PM Mr. Silver
All fired… Liquidate assets… Win!
12:02 PM Mr. Blue
Think of the children!
12:10 PM Mr. Silver
Sell the children! Win!
12:11 PM Mr. Blue
Put 'em to work in the acid mines!
"But we don't have ‘acid mines’ around here" they said.
We will!
12:12 PM Mr. Silver
I think they’d sell for reactor shielding.
12:13 PM Mr. Blue
All the greatest civilizations were built with slave labor.
12:14 PM Mr. Silver
"Today in art class, the whole school is building a 30' statue of ME, smacking normal-sized yous with a belt."
"Marked 'Mr. Silver - Humanitarian' in inlaid teeth on the plaque at the bottom."
12:20 PM Mr. Amethyst
That would be fantastic to see.
"Our great leader"
Mr. Blue
The only downside about “The Running of the Bulls” is that the bulls can't gore all the people involved.
12:43 PM Mr. Gray
I think they need to toss oil into the streets to make it more interesting.
Sliding people...skidding bulls...sliding people crushed under skidding bulls...horns spinning out of control…
12:44 PM Mr. Brown
Flaming bulls.
12:44 PM Mr. Blue
Sharpen their horns.
12:45 PM Mr. Silver
Sounds like a casual online game to me.
Or "GGB: Pamplona"
(Grand Gore Bull)
12:47 PM Mr. Amethyst
I think we should tape fins on them, and hang a big sheet over the road. Then make people run on the sheet. It would be like “Shark Week” for Spain.
Mr. Silver
"No one can stop The Insidious Stylist!"
1:21 PM Mr. Amethyst
?
1:21 PM Mr. Silver
Sorry...newish guy...we do superhero/villain stuff in here.
1:21 PM Mr. Amethyst
AHHH.
No! “It was The Terrible Trimmer!"
I need a superhero name.
Or a villain one.
We already have The Human Horsefly in here.
1:24 PM Mr. Silver
I think my last full-blown goofy super-villain scheme was to cause mayhem as "The Marker".
Robbing the Sharpie factory!
Mustache on the Statue of Liberty!
"Crayons Suck! - M" in 20' magic marker ink letters on the Crayola warehouse!
1:28 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL "I’m sorry ma'am, but I must-ache you a question."
1:28 PM Mr. Silver
Woot!
1:36 PM Mr. Silver
I also like the idea of the 60s Batman villain henchman costumes.
1:37 PM Mr. Silver
How do you think you'd look in a bowler hat and white shirt with “Semi-Permanent” written on it in small black letters, Mr. Amethyst?
1:37 PM Mr. Amethyst
/:-|
