Saturday, October 7, 2017

425 - Nothing Says Hawaii Like Red Solo Cups!, Is There A AAA For The Information Superhighway?, Sparkly Animated Memories, and Playing With Your Organs

[1:46 PM] Mr. Silver:
Oh Family Feud...
(host) "Name something you'd need for a classic Hawaiian theme party!" 
"Lei!"  (Ding!)
"Pig roast!"  (Ding!)
"Tropical drinks!" (Ding!)
"Grass Skirts!"  (Ding!)
"Lawn chairs!"
(host) "... Lawn chairs... Special Hawaiian lawn chairs..."
"YEAH!"
[1:47 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Hundreds of uninvited Japanese!"
[1:47 PM] Mr. Brown:
“Spam!”



[2:07 PM] Mr. Silver:
Don't know about you, but I sometimes translate bandwidth caps to gasoline.
"You take a long trip, you have to buy more gas. Difference is you can't just run out of bandwidth out on the net and get stuck."
Just imagine if you could
[2:14 PM] Ms. Rose:
" You can never run out of bandwidth--as long as you can pay for it.”
[2:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
How embarrassing to be pulled over the side of the Information Superhighway til you can get a gallon of bandwidth from somewhere.
[2:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
Wait. I see where you're going with this.
[2:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
What if everyone passing you on the net got to watch you, stuck on your last page, waiting for a GB.
[2:18 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Wow, look at Mr. Brown over there in the Pornhub car."
I guess he'd be stopped at the Pornhub store, in that scenario
[2:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Flashing lights, filthy animated gifs)
(mom) "Turn your heads kids.  BILLY!  You heard me!"
(dad) "Poor guy...right at the intersection.  I think I'd die..."
(mom) "That's why I always say I want at least half a tank of bandwidth."



[3:03 PM] Ms. Rose:
I bought a new sparkly from one of the vendors there. Really wish I saved my money and didn't buy the jams and the corn bag and the pack of greeting cards. But they had SPARKLIES!
Now I am out of cash and relying once again on my abilities to persuade Mr. Oleo not to look at my budget. :(
But... SPARK-EL-LEEEEEEE! :]
[3:04 PM] Mr. Blue:
What are sparklies?
[3:05 PM] Ms. Rose:
"Honey, we need to look at your budget."
Turns wrist and flashes shiny bracelet, effectively blinding Mr. Oleo.
"What was I just saying? Hmm...uhh...something about video games?"
"Yes, darling. Look away from the light.”
Sparklies, like in “The Secret of NIMH”. You've seen this cartoon, yes? With Jeremy, the crow?
Anything that shines and catches your eye, as you pass by. Powerful sparklies cause a person to go find cash, and then come back to the stand to purchase.
This also happens in malls, plazas, Walmart, and any place that sells sparkly things, or has ethereal lighting.
[3:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Mrs. BRIZ!  I GOTTA have that SPARKLY!"
[3:08 PM] Ms. Rose:
YES!
One of my fave fictional characters, EVER.
[3:09 PM] Mr. Silver:
[3:09 PM] Ms. Rose:
If you read about the recording of the voices in that movie, there are some interesting facts.
Like, I was probably 5 and I still knew that "Jeremy" was the meatball guy from the commercials. (Dom DeLuise).
No Title
The wise owl: JOHN CARRADINE DID HIS LINES IN ONE TAKE, ON PAINKILLERS. 
[3:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
It's on his tombstone
"Dom DeLuise - Jeremy and the Meatball Guy"
Carradine's owl was terrifying
[3:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
That movie is SO great. Also because it was from one of the first "Disney rebels."
[3:15 PM] Mr. Blue:
Never saw it, I don't think
[3:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
It's quite good
Departs a bit from the book to add more tension, but who cares?
[3:15 PM] Ms. Rose:
OMG, Mr. Blue. Just watch it. Endure it. For meeeeeee (and the meatball guy).
[3:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
Yes
[3:16 PM] Ms. Rose:
NIMH = National Institute of Mental Health (which was lost on many patrons, but the organization still exists.)
[3:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
Bluth did some amazing stuff in it...like whole frame animations, which are insane...
[3:16 PM] Ms. Rose:
YES!
[3:17 PM] Mr. Silver:
And it was one of those films "for kids" that gets so intense it'd leave them crying from the emotional overload
[3:17 PM] Ms. Rose:
The actual mother mouse's name is Mrs. Frisby. But they had to change it to Brisby...because of that plastic flying disc.
I know we all mention a lot about watching something at some young age, then you go back and watch it again and it's ALL different. I cried when I was 5. I cried when I was 25. I cry still. It's kinda sorta THAT good. :)
I also remember seeing The Fox and the Hound in theaters (much to parents' dismay, as it caused me to "adopt" every stray animal in a mile for the next 10 years).
[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
[3:23 PM] Mr. Blue:
I think I always get it confused with Ferngully, which I didn't like
[3:24 PM] Mr. Silver:
I didn't either
(Memory of my early “responsible adult” majority in the video store - walking up to the counter)  "These were in the kids section" (puts Watership Down and Bakshi's Lord of the Rings on counter)
[3:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[3:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
(moth-brained clerk) "So? They're animated."
"You have ANY idea of the horrible stuff that happens in these movies?"
[3:28 PM] Ms. Rose:
Watership Down is also awesome. But I only read the book (many times).
[3:33 PM] Mr. Silver:
I've also read it many times
And the rabbit research project he used, et al
Great book
Good and nasty movie
Which, well, is appropriate
Because they are rabbits and nasty stuff happens to rabbits
And they really do beat the living crap out of each other in the wild.
[3:34 PM] Ms. Rose:
I kid you not. The very first time I lit up a Marlboro (and then went on to smoke forever and ever) I thought to myself, "These are those 'white fire sticks the gentleman carry' from Watership Down." :(
[3:35 PM] Mr. Silver:
I'm out
I'm not going to stop running...just heading home
[3:35 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)



[11:08 AM] Ms. Rose:
She went in to surgery at 10:10. (Because I guess surgeons schedule their days in 10-minute increments?) Waiting for dad to text updates.
[11:10 AM] Mr. Silver:
(10:09:58 Nurse with stopwatch) "Aaaaand GO!"
[11:21 AM] Ms. Rose:
"Scalpel!"..."Stopwatch!"..."Tray for the removed organs and stuff!"
[11:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
"Turn up the Dr. Kildare music and put more surgery stuff around!"
[11:22 AM] Ms. Rose:
I told mom she should ask for her kidney in a jar of formaldehyde. She laughed, sort of.
[11:22 AM] Mr. Silver:
If she gets it, get some googly eyes for it.
[11:23 AM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
[11:23 AM] Mr. Brown:
I thought about that when I got my appendix out
[11:23 AM] Mr. Blue:
I guess it's a waste hazard thing so they pitch it
[11:23 AM] Ms. Rose:
I asked them to give me my gall bladder when I had that out.
[11:24 AM] Mr. Blue:
It's not something they can just throw in the garbage either, so I'm sure there'd be some kind of regulations about handing it over to the patient too
[11:24 AM] Mr. Brown:
Stuff gets cremated sometimes
[11:24 AM] Ms. Rose:
They did not let me take my gall bladder home, but they did show it to me before tossing it in the "hazardous waste" can.
That, or they just have a stock of visually-appealing organs that they show to patients post-op, when they're still stoned on the good drugs.
"Is that my gall bladder?!"
"Well, it is A gall bladder...from someone. Now, close your eyes again..."
[11:25 AM] Mr. Brown:
I saw pictures of my friend's liver
[11:26 AM] Mr. Silver:
"...on the "shrine" wall on the maniac that got him."
[11:26 AM] Mr. Brown:
He doesn't have sirocis, or how ever you spell that stuff
He has some genetic issue that caused damage
[11:27 AM] Ms. Rose:
Cirrhosis.
[11:28 AM] Mr. Brown:
It was all lumpy, supposed to be smooth
[11:28 AM] Ms. Rose:
I met a guy in AA once who had his liver transplanted with a new one (due to cirrhosis) and he kept drinking for several years.
Imagine being on the donor list when you have every intention to keep drinking/destroying your new liver.
One day at a time, my ass.
I use his story as an excuse. I don't have a drinking problem until I've gone through at least one or two livers from donors.
:P
[11:30 AM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah, he should get one last
[11:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
I believe, though, you can donate livers indefinitely
Like I can give 70% of mine and it'll grow back and then I can give again later
[11:30 AM] Mr. Brown:
True, it does regenerate
[11:31 AM] Mr. Blue:
I'd never do that though, because it's mine and I want it
[11:32 AM] Ms. Rose:
But I am a sharing, caring person. Give me all of your organs!
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Wednesday, October 4, 2017

424 - Vicarious Vittle Viewing Violations, Batman Is A Businessman Under That Cowl, In The Year Of Our Mr. Blue, Split Pea With Hand, Yeah I Spotted It, Déjà Nāsu, and Com-memorative Com-crete

[12:27 PM] Ms. Rose:
My mom eats peanut butter and butter and jelly sammiches...
There was some dumb gourmet catering event at (venue) and Franny was complaining it wasn't on TV this year.
[12:30 PM] Mr. Silver:
That the "Chef Tasting"?
Such a kinky niche
Or perhaps a cannibal sympathetic magic niche
"Chief, for your great feast, we have captured one of the ones in the tall poofy white hats."
"Ah!  They really cook well.  Most delicious."
[12:33 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Sorry ma'am we did film it but we forgot to take the lens cap off."
[12:34 PM] Ms. Rose:
HAHAHA, Mr. Blue!
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
"The FCC banned the footage for all the depictions of terrible sacrifices. What the Hell were you people doing out there?"
[12:42 PM] Mr. Blue:
"We're still editing out the nudity"
[12:43 PM] Mr. Brown:
“The ham... The ham...”
[12:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Donald Trump sued us and we couldn't put up the video."
[12:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
Good ones, Mr. Silver!
[12:45 PM] Mr. Brown:
“Cucumbers! Cucumbers everywhere! It was a massacre!”
[12:46 PM] Mr. Blue:
"Everyone that's watched it has inexplicably died 7 days later."
[12:47 PM] Ms. Rose:
(rofl) "The (Catering) Ring"
"We actually did film it and were partway through editing when we heard about the massive food poisoning. Oh, you didn't hear about that? Yeah, it was a weird strain of bacteria that makes people violently ill the next time you complain about not being able to watch other people eat.”
[12:52 PM] Mr. Silver:
"That video is classified ma'am.  One of the participants was a person of international terror interest."
[12:53 PM] Ms. Rose:
"That wasn't a chef's hat. It was a turban."
[12:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
(put Franny's name and address into google...find picture...) "Yeah, the NSA said she looked like X, with Y and Z.  They put up a picture...let me find the article.  Something about full invasive monitoring."
[12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
"We received a tip that all the food was halal."
[1:00 PM] Ms. Rose:
"We apologize. The event was recorded and aired several times, but due to an intern mistake, it was labeled as 'Slutty Chefs: Part 7'."
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[1:02 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hehe
[1:08 PM] Ms. Rose:
HAHAHAHA!
I'm cheered up now and backing away from the ledge. Thanks, dudes! :D



[9:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
I think one thing Burton got right that Nolan didn't is the city of Gotham itself
(Burton’s “Batman” is on TV)
[9:59 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
[10:00 AM] Mr. Blue:
Burton's is a mishmash of architectural styles and very congested
I always thought that the best city to use to portray Gotham would be Montreal, because it has its colonial areas with narrow streets and old brick/stone buildings, then its high rises, and its mansions on the outskirts and it's technically even an island.
[10:01 AM] Mr. Silver:
Burton also seemed to remember that Batman is actually a detective.
But botched a bit on the "not kill anybody" aspect
[10:01 AM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[10:16 AM] Mr. Silver:
Only reason Batman stays in business is not killing people.
He probably realized it during his business education.
"No supply, no demand."
He'd have to keep moving to different cities when the local villains are all dead or too terrified to stay.
"He's the hero the tri-state area deserves..."
(Talking Head) "A woman dressed as a plant and several cohorts were found eviscerated at the Gotham Botanical Gardens. The remains of the so-called 'Poison Ivy' gang are pleading with police for protection but authorities are leery of interfering with Batman."



[3:09 PM] Mr. Brown:
Hey, Mr. Silver. I told Mr. Blue earlier I may need to buy a new hot water heater
Reason being it had a smoky smell last night
But I figured out it had gotten some leaves in it.
But I also discovered it is from 1985
So it's as old as Mr. Blue.
[3:12 PM] Mr. Silver:
That is my new favorite description of out of date equipment.
[3:13 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
"How old's the computer?" "Oh it's not too too bad...it's about 1/4th of a Blue."
[3:21 PM] Mr. Silver:
"In the Year of Our Mr. Blue, 31..."
Hehe
I see Jesus getting irritated
"In the Year of Our Lord, 18..."
"Shut up, Levi."
"Did our Lord hit on Ruth, the weaver's daughter..."
"SHUT UP, LEVI!"
"And He did totally strike out."
"AUGH!!!"
I wonder when they came up with dating stuff like that.  Ugh...
(Looks it up)
Ah...it was in the Year of Our Lord, 525



[3:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
Agent: "Windows 10 - too many hands in the soup, you know?"
[3:09 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
[3:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Campbell's Split Pea with Hand soup"



[8:12 AM] Mr. Silver:
[8:12 AM] Mr. Blue:
Mmm… Moist dick
[8:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
Not that I didn't know what it was...but still...
[8:13 AM] Mr. Yellow:
LOL
Nothing wrong with a bit of spotted dick
[8:17 AM] Mr. Silver:
Nope
I knew what it was, but it was just funny to read "in American"
Adding "sponge" was so redundant and extra silly.
"It's a snack!”
“It's a venereal treatment product!”
"It's a snack!”
“It's a venereal treatment product!”
(Smiling product spokesman steps in) “No, folks! It's BOTH!"
[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:
OMG
LOL-ing at Spotted Dick Sponge. (rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
Now THAT is research I would fund! (y)
[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
A snack food VD treatment?
"Spotted Dick Sponge!  From the makers of New Shimmer!"



[9:50 AM] Ms. Rose:
Oh, so speaking of mom... She's going to live. 
[9:50 AM] Mr. Silver: 
Good news.
[9:50 AM] Ms. Rose:  
I stayed with her at the hospital for a few hours last night. But! I would like for someone to explain how/why the universe is this "random."
So, shortly after I get to mom's room, a lovely girl comes in (blonde) and says, "Hi, I'm Tori. I'm here to do your mom's breathing treatment."
Fine, whatever, nice to meet you Tori.
An hour passes.
New lovely girl (brunette) comes in. "Hi, I'm Tori. I'm here to change your mom's fluid bag thingies." (Not a direct quote.)
Okay, that's a little weird. Two Toris.
Another hour passes.
A different(!) blonde lovely girl comes in.
"Hi, I'm Tori. I'm here to take her temperature and blood pressure."
At this point, mom and I look at each other, and despite all the drugs she was on, we both think we're going crazy.
I spoke up and asked, "THREE nurses named Tori? Really?!"
Tori 3 was like, "Yeah, it's pretty crazy, right? But I swear, we're all named Tori and we all work the same shift and we're not related."
Mom has 4 nurses around the clock – Tori, Tori, Tori, and...Amy
[9:53 AM] Mr. Silver:
!
[9:53 AM] Ms. Rose:
I could not make this sh*t up if I TRIED.
[9:55 AM] Mr. Silver:



[9:00 AM] Mr. Blue:
[9:01 AM] Mr. Silver:
That there is some 'The Peoples Art', right there
[9:03 AM] Mr. Blue:
No wiki for it, but it's apparently all Yugoslavian
Commies love their concrete monstrosities
[9:07 AM] Mr. Silver:
"And this one is an exact copy - in concrete - of the sniper bullet hole in the limo window of my beloved ex predecessor."
[9:08 AM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
[9:18 AM] Mr. Brown:
Could put that sculpture in a movie
Like it can be an alien gate
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Sunday, October 1, 2017

423 - I Cotton Ya'll Don't Want Salad, The Gods Came From Egypt's Future, "Just Leave Already - Go Be A Part Of It", and Wondering About Wonder Woman's Relationships

[12:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
Re: new email
"Salads and pies downstairs for anyone who wants pies!"
[12:22 PM] Mr. Blue:
LOL
I saw some folks taking a tiny amount of pasta salad so people wouldn’t' think they weren't just eating pie for lunch.
Oops, double neg
[12:36 PM] Mr. Silver:
Add another negative and it'll balance out.
“so people wouldn't think they weren't just not eating pie for lunch”
No...still not right
“so no people wouldn't think they weren't not just not eating pie for lunch”  
...
Needs an “ain't”...
Just a sec
[12:40 PM] Mr. Blue:
“some folks ain't taking a tiny amount of no pasta salad so people wouldn't not think they weren't eating no pie for lunch”
[12:40 PM] Mr. Silver:
“so there ain't no people wouldn't be thinkin' they weren't not just not eating no pie for lunch”
Got it!
[12:42 PM] Ms. Rose:
Might need an "I reckon" at the beginning.
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Both have merits, honestly.  Ms. Rose?  You edit.  Which flows better?
"I reckon" would do well attached as the ending as well. 
Do we dare tack it on twice?
[12:43 PM] Ms. Rose:
“I reckon some folks ain't taking no tiny bit of the pasta salad, so's other folks ain't they weren't not eating juss pie for lunch.”
[12:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Just a "reckon" at the beginning
Maybe take the S off folks too
[12:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
Ooops, I missed a "think" in there.
[12:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
How about using “cotton” as a verb?
[12:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
LOL
Wait! Need an "I seen" too. Like what we make fun of Mr. Brown for using.
“I seen folks ain't take no tiny bit of pasta salad; I reckon they's worried about other folk cottonin' they weren't not eating juss pie for lunch.”
If only there were a way to write 'pie' to tell readers that it should be pronounced 'paaaaah' without making the whole sentence meaningless.
[12:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
LOL



[1:05 PM] Mr. Brown:
So this “Gods of Egypt” film that is on the TV
They made the gods really large
All the regular people are little
[1:17 PM] Mr. Silver:
Which is kind of accurate considering how big ancient Egyptians were.
(post article – link lost – Mr. Silver)
If the four of us walked into the court of a pharaoh, we'd be legitimate giants.
"They aren't gods! They're time travelers from 5000 years in the future!"
[1:18 PM] Mr. Brown:
"That's true, but"
*Bang!*
“Any questions?”
[1:19 PM] Mr. Silver:
(holding thrashing warrior in the air) "It's like roughhousing with my kid."
[1:20 PM] Mr. Brown:
Hmm
Average male being 5' 3”?
That’s pretty short.
Deficient in protein
[1:22 PM] Mr. Silver:
Add in parasites
You don’t really ever see any buff or tubby people in their pictures either…
Everyone is short and thin.
100lb 5-footers
Here...this is my height vs an (abnormally tubby) 5' tall ancient Egyptian
These always kill me
Goliath from David and Goliath could have been "Guy From Sweden vs Wee Levant Kid"
[2:46 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah, you think Arnold is big, then you see somebody like that.
[2:48 PM] Mr. Silver:
And Arnold IS huge...I'm 5 notches down and not built very robustly
I'm going to make a composite as close as I can do.
(Ended up with Paul Simon at 5'3” and Vanessa Hudgens at 5'1” for our average ancient Egyptians. Green line over them is average USA Male...my height.  Blue is average USA female. - Mr. Silver)
[2:50 PM] Mr. Blue:
I think Andre played the Dagoth in Conan the Destroyer
[2:51 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yes
See, I'm built like Chamberlain - my upper arms look strangely shaped because I'm lanky
[2:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
She's 5'6"
Yes, that's right...she's 3" taller than an ancient Egyptian man, and is probably fit enough to smash one.



[7:13 AM] Mr. Silver:
(Walking to work)  "You've been meaning to look up X.  Remember to look up X when you get to work.  You'll finally know all about X."
(Signs in, gets settled) "You've been meaning to look up... ... [white noise in head] … Shit."
I did remember to look up "York", however.
[7:14 AM] Mr. Red:
Funny you mention that, because there is something I have been meaning to look up.
And now ... I can't remember what it was
[7:15 AM] Mr. Silver:
"New York New York" has been stuck in my head since I watched "Highlander" the other night.
[7:15 AM] Mr. Red:
Eeewww
[7:15 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yeah...not my favorite earworm.
Always comes off as one of Sinatra's "I'm the most awesome guy in the world" songs.
"Start spreadin' the news...”
"(Like anyone cares...)"
"I'm leavin' today..."
"(We thought you'd moved away ages ago, honestly...)"
[7:18 AM] Mr. Red:
LOL
[7:21 AM] Mr. Silver:
If you read the lyrics, it comes off as a guy really hoping he achieves greatness.
As Sinatra sings it, it comes off like everyone else and everywhere else is beneath him and he's awesome by divine right.
I wonder if anyone has ever sung a humble version.
[7:23 AM] Mr. Red:
I bet that would make a completely different song and people would be amazed.
[7:24 AM] Mr. Silver:
Starting to sound like there is. 
Have to have a listen - "Originally, Sinatra's version was played after a Yankees win, and the Minnelli version after a loss."
(Minelli sang it first)
[7:25 AM] Mr. Red:
I’ll have to look for that
[7:25 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yup.  Already emailed it home.
(There isn't. Minnelli's sucks too. - Mr. Silver)



[1:53 PM] Mr. Silver:
Did you just call her Superwoman?
[1:56 PM] Mr. Brown:
Wonder... Super... all the same
[1:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
[smugly] More like “Blunder Woman”
[1:57 PM] Mr. Brown:
There are pictures of her in the Captain America era in this film
So I guess her film with show her back in war time which then will connect to this film
and so on as long as they get money to do Justice League
[2:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
World War Two is – correctly – better known as The Captain America Era.
Well the golden age heroes all fought Nazis, after all.
Wonder Woman isn't exactly a human.
In at least one origin, she was just sculpted.
[2:06 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yep
[2:11 PM] Ms. Rose:
REALLY?!?!
Exciting!
[2:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Decided to look.
Wonder Woman's origin story relates that she was sculpted from clay by her mother Queen Hippolyta and given life by Athena, along with superhuman powers as gifts by the Greek Gods. However, in recent years artists updated her profile: she has been depicted as the daughter of Zeus, and jointly raised by her mother Hippolyta and her aunts Antiope and Menalippe; artists George Perez gave her a muscular look and emphasized her Amazonian heritage; artist Jim Lee redesigned Diana's costume to include pants; she inherits Ares's divine abilities, becoming the personified "God of War"; and most recently, writer Greg Rucka, clarified her sexuality, giving her a backstory that includes positive relationships with women.
...
" positive relationships with women "
Oh just say it, ya goobers.
"You know...Those two have a 'positive relationship'."
"Like coworkers?"
"No no... 'positive relationship'."
"Like BFFs?"
"... Well... Maybe.  What do the letters stand for?"
"Best Friends Forever."
"No no no... not that.  'Positive relationship' "
"Something in your eye?  What's with the winking?"

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