353 - Olympian Bruce "Jonah", Mortician Games, "If It Weren't For Mr. Brown's Ethics It'd Be Pushing Up The Daisies", "I Can't Stand It Not Knowing They Planned It", and Dreadful Hair

Mr. Brown

So looks like they are trying to make the lady Jenner killed more important than any other person being killed.
All because she danced with Elvis Presley in a movie.

Mr. Silver

Nice
"The man-slaughtered victim was well-known for her 10' approach to Elvis Presley as "3rd girl in striped shirt" in the film "Clam Bake". "

Mr. Brown

When I die, I want you guys to boast that I met Jim Kelly when I was a child.
Hehe

Mr. Silver

"Mr. Jenner was famous for being on a Wheaties box in, like, the 70s or something."

Mr. Brown

He was on ChiPs. 

Mr. Silver

Bruce was on ChiPs?

Mr. Blue

He replaced the main guy.

Mr. Silver

I never noticed... I must have stopped watching CHiPs before that.

Mr. Blue

Jenner did a lot of things that failed.

Mr. Brown

He was only on for 3 episodes I think.

Mr. Silver

(Biopic voiceover) "No stranger to trouble, Bruce Jenner is also notorious for killing the up-til-
then wildly successful TV show 'ChiPs'."

Mr. Blue

And a Village People biopic, apparently.

Mr. Brown

Because he has always wanted to be a woman you know. 

Mr. Blue

That's why he killed CHiPs?

Mr. Silver

(Biopic Voiceover) "Jenner's short stint as the 7th member of stunningly popular performers 'The Village People' as 'The Guy in Tiny Athletic Shorts and Tank Top Guy' also ended in disaster."
"His only writing and performing credit -- 'It's Fun To Win The Decathlon' -- being deemed too un-relatable and too gay for the average fan."
(grainy film footage of group mimicking running and jumping in place, throwing javelins, discus, shot put...)
Mr. Silver

Wow...he was involved with Wheaties getting sued too.

Mr. Blue

Link?

Mr. Silver

Just reading the wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Jenner

Mr. Silver

Screwed up the Kansas City Kings...

Mr. Blue

Sounds like a publicity stunt on their part.

Mr. Silver

Featured in the flop film 'Can Stop the Music ' (spelled it like that on purpose)
Was in the flop 'Jack and Jill'.

Mr. Blue

He seems very un-relatable.

Mr. Brown

How do you have a knee injury that keeps you out of football but you can do a decathlon?

Mr. Silver

Appears to be a Jonah in most things.

Mr. Blue

Good question, Mr. Brown.

Mr. Brown

He went to school on scholarship for football.
“OK, I just realized I don't like football.”
Gets bad knee injury, switch to decathlon somehow, keeps scholarship somehow...
“Boom, I'm amazing.”

Mr. Silver

I picture his successful racing career as involving everyone else crashing.
(Biopic Voiceover) "His greatest racing achievement was being granted Pole Position and everyone else retiring to their pits after getting the start flag.  Driving unopposed, the race nevertheless was completed with 2 car crashes and one racer severely injured...to this day, no one understands how."

Mr. Silver
(wonders if she's still vlogging) The "Ask a Mortician" woman was pretty funny.
I imagine if you spent your time as the stereotypical grim figure in black with the soft mortal coil voice, you'd either go Crazy 8s bonkers or want to crawl in the coffin with one of your customers.
(Comes home, puts black jacket on coat rack) "Man, I'm bushed. Longest viewing I've had in half a year...all those weeping Italian-type ladies. Ugh! Need to unwind! Kids! Get out the strings, we're having 'Puppet Show Night' after dinner!"
"YAAAY!!!"
Mr. Blue

LOL

Mr. Brown
Stunned deer in front of the house this morning.
Luckily somebody stopped or I would not have noticed it.
Mr. Amethyst
Wow
Mr. Silver
Stunned deer?
Mr. Amethyst
^What he said.
Mr. Brown
I heard a strange sound this morning. It sounded like somebody was just scraping something when I was walking to the garage, but I saw nothing.
Mr. Brown
Then I was getting ready to pull out of the drive and a truck slowed down in front of my house then I saw the deer laying there.
He pulled into my drive and we walked up to look at it.
It was very stunned vs mortally injured.
We pulled it off into my yard and waited with it a bit.
Mr. Amethyst
Shot it?
Mr. Brown
It tried getting up a few times, getting better each time.
No, did not shoot it.
Mr. Silver
It was pining for the fjords.  Beautiful fur...
Mr. Brown
I did not want the cops called on me. Hehe
When I left for work that guy was going to hang around.
Mr. Silver
(and shoot it)
Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Mr. Brown
It got up and ran across the road
He did not have a gun.
Mr. Silver
“A truck slowed down in front of my house” = he had a gun.
Mr. Amethyst
Everyone but Mr. Brown is saying "SHOOT THE THING!"
Mr. Brown
I have a issue with shooting deer around a bunch of houses early in the morning.
Hehe
Mr. Silver
Well you didn't have to prop it up and move back 100' and risk missing it, you know.
Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Mr. Brown
No, its the fact that somebody would call the cops and then I'd have to wait there all day.
Mr. Silver
"Well, I was aiming at this guy when the stunned deer walked in the way."
Mr. Amethyst
Mr. Brown...no one is gonna call the cops over a .22
Mr. Brown
I don't have a .22. I have a 9mm.
Mr. Amethyst
Even better
Mr. Brown
If I had a .22 i prob would have shot it.
I'm still deciding, though, whether to buy a rifle .22 or a pistol .22
Mr. Silver
Sort of like the guys that like the subtle challenge of fishing with, like, 2lb test.
"You're deer hunting."
"Yeah."
"With a .22."
"Yeah. Magnums...they're magnums."
"Yeah. That's good."
Mr. Brown
Hehe
Its the whole -- as soon as I shoot it, I have to stay home in case somebody calls the cops or the game commission or something. I'm not going to leave the wife to explain it.
Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Shoot it, drag it in the garage, and then leave.
Mr. Brown
Blood trail leading to the garage...door closed...small puddle forming out front of the door.
Yeah, that's good.
Mr. Amethyst
Yep :)
Mr. Brown
I'll make sure to cut its head off before I leave and sit it in front of the house on a pike.
Hehe
Mr. Amethyst
That’s even better.
Mr. Silver
Leave the gun next to it, and a note saying "goodbye cruel world".
Mr. Brown
I just hate that I have to think about it in the first place.
Like, will I get fined for shooting this thing?
Mr. Silver
Like you left it in a warm garage to start to swell...






Mr. Silver
So...happy about the Beastie Boys
Mr. Silver
My first exposure way back on MTV was possibly to their biggest hit song, and I hated it and found them amazingly untalented. Almost never listened to them again. Now I have a few favorites in my eclectic collection.
Mr. Silver
Turns out? It was a parody. Bad on purpose and they hated it too.
That's gotta suck.
"Fight for your Right to Party"
Mr. Blue
Mike D commented that, "The only thing that upsets me is that we might have reinforced certain values of some people in our audience when our own values were actually totally different. There were tons of guys singing along to "Fight for Your Right" who were oblivious to the fact it was a total goof on them."






Mr. Silver
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2967832/I-didn-t-mean-hurt-Giuliana-Rancic-apologizes-racist-comments-Zendaya-s-dreadlocks.html
Uh...well...I don't care if she does smell like patchouli and weed, 'cause she's pretty cute.
Honestly, I stopped associating dreadlocks, weed and patchouli with any race waaaaaay back in college.
Mr. Blue
Someone in the Bible had dreads.
Mr. Silver
Ran into plenty of weed...ran into plenty of patchouli...saw a lot of dreads. Oddly enough all of them were white Deadheads and the like.
Mr. Brown
John the baptist?
Mr. Blue
James the just?
Mr. Silver
James the White Devil?
Mr. Brown
Well, John lived in the wild. I figured he would have them.
Mr. Silver
Patchouli is Asian...was Rancic saying she looked Asian?
Mr. Blue
Actually, a lot of black people don't like white people with dreads.
Mr. Brown
Yeah, mon.
Mr. Blue
They think it's appropriating their culture.
Mr. Silver
Well, a lot of cultures figured out dreadlocks.
It was Samson, BTW.

352 - The Savage Bite Of The Limpet, Legal Briefs & Illegal Undies, Vanilla Ice Will Be Decorating The Cooler, "He Sleeps With The Charlie Horses", "Your Glasses...Give Them To Me Now", and "The Return Of Woolslayer"

(The dreaded day has come... We changed messengers for several months and the formatting on it is total BS.  Fortunately we've since switched, but there's a lot of this.  I'll be honest, I was procrastinating on posts because of the dread of how much work would be needed turning these into readable "human" - Mr. Silver)

Mr. Silver

So I was reading this, and two things happened:

http://phys.org/news/2015-02-scientists-strongest-natural-material.html

#1.  "Limpets have teeth?"

Mr. Blue

*Googles limpets*  Hmmm... *googles teeth* yes, very interesting...

Mr. Silver

And #2.  I read it all in my normal documentary voice in my head until I got to the second "huge overbite" photo and read:  "Pu-ffessuh Bahbah foun dat dah teeff guntain a hah minehwul know ahs g-g-otife..."

Mr. Blue

*Googles limpets*  Hmmm... *googles teeth* yes, very interesting...

Mr. Brown

Limp pets.

Mr. Silver

Cats

Mr. Brown

“For 500 Alex.”

OK, read the article in Christopher Walken voice.

Mr. Blue

"[pictured inset] A limpet, nicknamed Bababooey."

Mr. Silver

(Tim the Enchanter) "The limpet can leap abaht....LOOK-it th BOANES!"

"At's nay ordinary limpet!"

Ms. Rose

“Death awaits ye all with nasty sharp pointy teeth!”

Mr. Silver

"This discovery means that the fibrous structures found in limpet teeth could be mimicked and used in high-performance engineering applications such as Formula 1 racing cars, the hulls of boats and aircraft structures."

Ms. Rose

"Oh, your expensive race car is made of carbon fiber? Pfft... Mine's limpet teeth fiber. Neener neener."

Mr. Silver

"Manufacturers are interested in the possibilities, but are dubious that consumers will want limpet-tooth-shaped racing cars, boats or aircraft."

Mr. Amethyst

LOL

Ms. Rose

(Matthew McConaughey voice) "I started driving Limpet Teeth Cars way before anyone paid me to. I didn't do it because it was cool..."

Oh c'mon. That was FUNNY! I'm dyin' over here!

Mr. Silver

I liked it.

Mr. Blue

I haven't seen those commercials yet.

Mr. Silver

"The new Mercedes Limpet provides the kind of safety, luxury ride, and algae-scraping characteristics drivers demand."

"Engineers are always interested in making these structures stronger to improve their performance or lighter so they use less material."

"You know engineers...only got one thing on their mind..."

Mr. Blue

"You've experienced new car smell...but the Mercedes Limpet smells like the Gowanus Canal on a hot summer day."

Ms. Rose
http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/02/19/us-canada-politics-underpants-idUSKBN0LN2BT20150219
Everyone's got their problems...even in Canadia.
Mr. Blue
One time I mistook "boy's medium" for "men's medium" boxer briefs.
Ms. Rose
HAHAHA!
At least when we buy bras, they are out of the package and we can see that they're the wrong size. :P
Mr. Blue
If you have any sons that might wear that size, I still have the package cuz I opened it.
Ms. Rose
ROFL
Mr. Blue
And I feel weird having kids underwear in my drawer.
Mr. Silver
(Police) "And you say you misread the label...but kept them in here anyway."
Ms. Rose
"Hey, nephew. You look like you're about a medium. Would you like some free underwear from this guy I barely know at work? No...? But, why not?" lolol
(I don't really have any nephews. Was just making that up. Stop trying to push your kid's underwear on me!)
Mr. Blue
"Hello Mr. Blue. I'm serving you with this warrant"
"Officer, I can explain the boys underwear in my drawer!"
"Uhh we were here for an unpaid parking ticket."
Mr. Silver
(Police) "I mean...think about what we think about it sir...it just doesn't look good.  I mean, George over there - He's got a lot of panties in his drawer, but he at least ordered them from Japan and kept the receipts." 
Mr. Amethyst
LOL

Mr. Brown

Robert Van Winkle
Wow! Vanilla Ice as a stage name is way better.Mr. Silver

Yup
Mr. Brown

He got arrested again.
Says here he was stealing furniture in a adjacent home to the one he was remodeling for a reality show. Mr. Silver

"Van Winkle has been sentenced to sleep for 20 years...in prison."
Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2959202/Vanilla-Ice-arrested-stealing-furniture-home-renovating-nearby-property-reality-TV-show.html

Mr. Silver

"Yo! I know where we can get some fly furniture for this crib."
"Police pretty sure Vanilla Ice's show van was at the location...just sayin'."
Mr. Brown

I am gonna steal this stuff, and I will use this van with my name on the side.  Yeah, that will
work good

Mr. Silver

So last night, I decided to have the high test Sleepytime Tea before bed.
Mostly because Rachel, aware or not, keeps getting up at odd hours to do things like stand right next to me looking at the Kindle where it's plugged in, thinking my survival instinct won't register a maniac is in the room.
So yes...slept through any of that.
But there were dreams. Vague ones, but mostly me wandering in a hotel.
At one point I was on a movie set.
The general theme was "charlie horses" though.
I'd be walking in the hotel...charlie horse. Sitting at the hotel...charlie horse. Talking to staff and guests...charlie horse. On the movie set, the one actor had a charlie horse, and used/worked through it for the scene as improv, because he was just that sort of tough-it-out performer.
The alarm goes.
I wake up.
Leg feels like (and still does) I had a massive friggin Charlie Horse!
Mr. Brown

HahahahaMr. Silver

Stupid tea had me too dopey to stop it happening (which I can usually do). Slept right through.
Mr. Brown

That's like when i have to piss really bad
All my dreams are me going into bathrooms or walking up to trees and stuff.Mr. Silver

I've had those.
Mr. Brown

Wake up. Holy shit I gotta piss!Mr. Silver

There's usually like 30-40 unavoidable observers around.
Can't find anywhere to go
Mr. Brown

I'm surprised at how well I hold it though. I wake up in a lot of pain.
Like no way any more can go into that bladder.
I used to have a lot of paralysis dreams. Just can't seem to wake up. Mr. Silver

Aliens
Mr. Brown

One was a dream about that. Hehe

Mr. Green
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2015/02/darpa-implant-could-give-people-terminator-like-vision/

9:33 AM
Mr. Silver
OK
9:34 AM
"Hello tech support? Yeah, I called about the HUD on my new optics a week ago and a reset was done, but it's back to telling me to respond to people with 'FU A-hole' again all the time."

"Hmm...regular reset should have cleared that. Could I put you on hold for a moment? I'd like to consult with another department."

"OK."

"...I'll be back..."

"Cute..."

"Hey, gotta laugh, right? We'll get you fixed up...just a moment."
Mr. Blue

"Just as long as it's before Judgment Day! Hahaha!"



Mr. Silver

Yes! The return of Woolslayer!!!
Mr. Brown

WHAT?Mr. Silver

(Heavy metal guitar chord )
My client...he's a Mighty "Woolslayer"!
(Heavy metal guitar chord)
"From the frozen and benighted barbarian lands of Cimmeria NJ...HE came..."
Mr. Silver

"A man of few words, all sheep feared the voice of his bloody shears!"
Mr. Brown
Over-sized two-handed shears!Mr. Silver

(Sheep huddled in dark against the snow and wind rattling the walls of barn. Door bursts open to heavy metal guitar chord)

(Woolslayer) "Baa baa, Blacksheep.  Have you any wool?"
(panicking sheep dodging in all directions...a huge black ram stands, pulls battle axe)

"Baa baa baa!"
"Yeah? Well not MY master, dame, or little boy... Let's party!"
(Scenes of unimaginably violent sheering)
Mr. Blue

Heheh
Mr. Blue

I like the idea of a thrash metal version of Baa Baa Black Sheep.Mr. Silver

I want to do a 'best in life' line, but I'm heading out to lunch. One of you handle it.
Mr. Blue

“HELLLO UNIONVILLE GRANGE! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK? I SAAAAIID, ARE YOU READY TO ROOOCCCKK?? guitar: Wwwweeeeewowowowowowwoblublublublublublub!!!
“Woolslayer! What is best in life?”
“To sheer your flock! See the wool spun before you! And to hear the compliments from the women!”Mr. Brown

(Metal scream ) MAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!! Had a little lamb!!!Mr. Silver

(Woolslayer) "So...Mary, is it? I heard your lamb was lurking around the Halls of Arcane Secrets. That's against guild law. They sent me for him."
(Pulls crook, blue fire springs from her hand) "You'll have to come through me first!"
(Draws shears, heavy metal guitar chord) "Just what I wanted."
Mr. Silver

(Woolslayer on horse before a horde of barbarian shearers, facing off against flock of sheep) "Rebels! Queen Bo Peep has left you alone for long enough. She's sent me...to send you home to HELL!

(heavy metal guitar chord)
“With your tails wagging behind you! CHARGE!!!!"

351 - Potential Saint Brown Leads A Parade Of Dubious Saints

7:02 AM Mr. Brown

Well, we enrolled Brown Jr. at St. Lukes last night.

7:03 AM Mr. Silver

(Looks)

7:03 AM Mr. Brown

Its a Lutheran school not as bad as Catholic schools.

Also its nice that he does not have to jump into high school life until he is ready for 9th grade.

7:04 AM Mr. Silver

Patron saint of students and butchers.

7:08 AM Mr. Silver

Unmarried, childless, not butchered by idiots...dead at 84.

"Filled with the Holy Spirit"

Quote "I came to seek and save the lost"

Hmmm...Butchers AND surgeons.

"He didn't make it ma'am...however we're having a special on steaks now."

...you might be able to tell that I always enjoy these saint hotsheets.

7:12 AM Mr. Brown

Heheh

It is fun to look up the saints.

7:15 AM Mr. Silver

"Here's one...Ste. Velocipede...patron of noodles and bricklayers and ... centipedes? ... martyred by traveling salesmen, her disembodied head asked to be taken to a small chapel in Venice to light a candle for the Virgin Mary. Husband reports she didn't stop talking the whole way. The soundproof box he had made is in the Vatican archives."

7:19 AM Mr. Silver

“Credited with 3 miracles: Continuing to talk after death. Non-stop praying and yammering for the 6 week trip. Inspiring soundproofing techniques still used today."

7:19 AM Mr. Brown

God gave me a message "here is how to shut the bitch up".

7:25 AM Mr. Silver

"A sisterhood was briefly created in her honor by exasperated Venetian parents for teen daughters under the motto: Vides? Id tibi quasi tota die."

7:31 AM Mr. Silver

("See? That's what you sound like all day.")

Should go for another one.

No sense beating on “Ste. Velocipede” all morning.

7:37 AM Mr. Silver

This is always amusing to me: http://abcnews.go.com/International/saint-saint-kind-demoted/story?id=23477573

7:38 AM Mr. Silver

"We've decided to keep you on, but more as a...half saint..."

7:40 AM Mr. Silver

"Your main miracle is that you don't actually exist but people believe in you anyway."

"And that's a pretty good miracle, I can tell you! A lot of good real folks don't get nearly this far along the track."

7:43 AM Mr. Brown

I only eat when there is food in front of me.

7:43 AM Mr. Silver

Praise be!

Miracle 1

What else?

7:44 AM Mr. Brown

I can shake a pepper shaker getting all the pepper onto my food none on the table.

7:44 AM Mr. Silver

Not sure the Vatican will go for a second food miracle.

How about dozens of people watched you change color?

7:45 AM Mr. Brown

That works.

7:45 AM Mr. Silver

Got my vote...that's 2.

Just need #3 and to...well...die...

Luke proves you don't have to have your head removed by a cheese grater or anything, so relax.

Mr. Amethyst? Have a miracle for "PS" Brown?

7:47 AM Mr. Brown

I can wiggle my ears.

One at a time.

7:47 AM Mr. Silver

Damn...really?

7:47 AM Mr. Amethyst

Thirded

7:47 AM Mr. Silver

Potential Saint Brown in the house!

Based on those miracles, we'll need things for you to be patron of.

7:49 AM Mr. Brown

Patron of eating spicy food.

7:50 AM Mr. Silver

Donuts, Chameleons and Twitching?

Oh yeah...hot peppers.

"PS Brown...bless this chili..."

7:51 AM Mr. Brown

May your chilis always be hot and burn the bums of its eaters.

7:55 AM Mr. Silver

"May it turn the eater's face red and cause his eye to twitch."

"May it inspire the eater to call upon God's mercy about 2 hours later in the bathroom."

7:58 AM Mr. Brown

Strengthens the faith.

I think we've got something here.

7:58 AM Mr. Silver

"May it flush out the devil and the fires of hell from his soul."

8:03 AM Mr. Silver

Too bad Mr. Blue is missing this. He could already not be believing in you anymore.

8:04 AM Mr. Amethyst

He's here, he just needs to log in.

8:04 AM Mr. Silver

Nod...just spotted him.

8:04 AM Mr. Brown

Haha

Yeah, he not-believes in things all the time.

8:06 AM Mr. Silver

Morning Mr. Blue

Big news

8:06 AM Mr. Blue

Morning

8:06 AM Mr. Silver

See your email

8:10 AM Mr. Blue

Hehehe

Don't you have to have a body part not decompose to become a saint.

8:15 AM Mr. Brown

Haha

Belive in the hot spicey pepper goodness

8:16 AM Mr. Silver

Think we'll have to add "Typos" to your patronage.

8:16 AM Mr. Brown

yes\

i am the patron of typo

8:17 AM Mr. Silver

"Makes you read it at least twice and contemplate...praise be!"

8:18 AM Mr. Brown

works of the mind, Strengtheing of the fath (spicey).

haha

right there is a example

ok so strengthening of a fath is bad idea

thats a growth on the buttocks

8:19 AM Mr. Silver

"Contemplate the blessing of 6 feet of holy water."

...I got fathom out of fath. There's a butt growth too?

Ah...yours was sci-fi.

See...you inspired the seeking of truth.

You should have a medal or symbol of some sort.

Official colors - Jaundice & Caucasian pink.

8:25 AM Mr. Brown

Throw a little red in too - my favorite color.

Maybe a red chili pepper.

8:26 AM Mr. Silver

They do those hearts with crowns and crosses. You could have, like, a ghost pepper with a hockey stick and ball cap?

8:26 AM Mr. Brown

Fishing pole

Rifle

Hunting and fishing and peppers

I must be feeling the spirit today.

8:28 AM Mr. Silver

Well you are a prospective saint.

I wonder if the Vatican has an online form.

(looks)

Crap...you've got to be dead at least 5 years.

How are you feeling?

8:30 AM Mr. Brown

I have a cold, voice wavering.

I have sleep apnea.

Hehe

8:32 AM Mr. Silver

OK...we'll be good on step 1 after that takes hold, we write up a bio and dig you up to steal some body parts.

(yes...these are the instructions)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canonization

8:32 AM Mr. Brown

This is the pinky of Saint Brown

Here is Saint Brown' colon. The mighty colon that conquered all the spicy devils of the world.

8:44 AM Mr. Silver

You're lucky too. Apparently they have to peruse all of your writing and stuff, and there's years of that stuff on the blog now.

Definitely "Non-Cultis"...I know none of us are planning on worshiping you inappropriately...

8:55 AM Mr. Brown

They may have trouble with the Shoot-Earth-thru-the-Sun blogs.

8:57 AM Mr. Silver

Nonsense.

It's a challenge to the faithful.

Same as the "Can God create a rock so heavy He can't lift it?" puzzle.

8:58 AM Mr. Brown

Nope, can't.

8:59 AM Mr. Silver

He can will that He can't lift it...or can...as He desires.

9:00 AM Mr. Brown

"Its so heavy I...urrrg" (makes fake straining face)

9:00 AM Mr. Silver

He can will that of a potato chip...

9:00 AM Mr. Silver

"I can't lift that Pringle."

"Now I can."

"For I am THE LORD!"

9:01 AM Mr. Silver

So, weirdly enough, because you enrolled your kid in a Lutheran parochial school, I have to start putting all your entries in as "PS"

9:03 AM Mr. Brown

PS, I farted.

9:03 AM Mr. Silver

If the blog had any following at all, that could have made you "a thing". Sadly...it would take a miracle for that to happen. (winks, nods)

9:04 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah not as popular as, say, Jennifer Lawrence.

Naked moles are neat.

9:05 AM Mr. Silver

There's a miracle for red-blooded young men the world over.

Jennifer Lawrence, not naked moles

(extrapolates to “Naked Jennifer Lawrence's moles”.)

(This is search-able without quotes on Google...wondered and decided to look while editing this ;-) – Mr. Silver)

9:05 AM Mr. Brown

What if Jennifer Lawrence naked moles she likes

(Wink wink )

What if supermodels naked moles they like

9:07 AM Mr. Silver

...

Could we shift to English grammar rules? I'm getting lost.

9:08 AM Mr. Brown

I believe I'm going to leave today now. The voice is not cooperating. I need to go home and not use it.

Drink tea and honey then come back fighting tomorrow.

See you guys. I'm out sick.

9:24 AM Mr. Silver

Sad seeing him off to die like that.

9:24 AM Mr. Blue

Martyrdom.

9:24 AM Mr. Silver

"Martyred to lions...or the common cold. Records unclear"

9:29 AM Mr. Silver

It sucks that Mr. Brown will be the 1st to get a title.

9:30 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

9:30 AM Mr. Silver

It makes sense though, in a way.

9:30 AM Mr. Amethyst

Brown the Frail

The Infectious

9:30 AM Mr. Silver

St. Brown the Afflicted

9:30 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

Patron saint of ailments?

9:32 AM Mr. Silver

Perhaps. I mean he's always been the captain of Team Bible in here. I suppose the entirety of his participation today was at least a cardinal sin and he's doomed.

(Pope) "I'm afraid the record shows that the candidate violated the first rule of Saint Club."

(cardinal) "And by default, the second rule."

Mr. Blue

I had a great grandmother named after a saint

Kunegunda

She sounds more Hindi than German.

10:05 AM Mr. Silver

Yes

10:11 AM Mr. Silver

"Saint Kunegunda - Usually depicted with 3 heads, 6 arms bearing a lightning bolt, fire, a cup of blood, entrails, a ritual bloody dagger and eyeballs, brick red and with a necklace of skulls. Patron of pets, children and gardening."

Favorite quote "I defy the law of heaven and trample the lotus before those who starve for succor and peace. I will rend the earth to it's four corners and fill the cuts with fire and blood. I will the release of the demons of eight hells and set them to feed upon the living, and cause the dead to raze all that remains. ... So sayeth THE LORD..."

What a saint!  POW!

Of course now I have to look her up...sigh...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunigunde_of_Luxembourg

Woah...passed a trial by ordeal...and lived.

10:31 AM Mr. Blue

Allegedly.

Sounds like a nice lady though.