421 - Past The Prescent, Speaking The Queen's Englische, Pat The Designer To Life Get, "Monoliths - Australian For Apostles", and "Goonies 'R' Goy Enough"

[12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:

A chronic emailer uses this in their signature. Even when that phrase is spelled correctly, it still makes me want to punch something.
“Enjoy today-its is a gift==thats why it is called the PRESCENT!”

The pre-scent.

The smell that hits you before the actual smell particles do.

[12:17 PM] Mr. Silver:

Wow!

"Today-Its!  The new morning wake-up snack from General Mills!"

[12:21 PM] Mr. Blue:

Enjoy tomorrow, it will be a gift.  I know because I’m PRESCIENT.

[12:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

[12:35 PM] Mr. Silver:

(dog reading dog bottle of “Wet Fido” laundry detergent) "For tough pleasant smells, always remember to pre-scent your fabrics."

[12:25 PM] Ms. Rose:

:D

[12:58 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Today is a gift.  That's why it's called the present.  However today is a terrible gift, and it didn't come with a receipt, and you can't return it, and if you don't have it in the house when God visits He'll be upset, so you can't throw it out or give it away."

[1:01 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[1:03 PM] Ms. Rose:

"You also cannot re-gift it. Because no one sells Today! wrapping paper."

"Note: Today is also not an acceptable Toys for Tots donation. No kid under 12 really wants today."

[1:04 PM] Mr. Silver:

(God) "Hey guy!  What did you think of that 11/11 I gave you?  Pretty good huh?"

"Uhhhhh....wellll.  I didn't really like it.  It... well, I kind of regifted it."

"Regifted it?  To who???" 

"(waving) Hey-o!  How's it goin', Chief?" 

"YOU!" 

"11/11.  Hell of a gift that was.  GET IT?"

"This is so embarrassing..."

[2:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

Is it me or does it seem like a lot of the monarchs would've either not been fluent in their country's native language or at least would've spoken with an accent?

Not presently, but in the past

[2:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

That's true, yes

[2:15 PM] Mr. Blue:

Of course there's only a small time period where anyone would've even heard their voices

[2:16 PM] Mr. Silver:

England's beloved Richard the Lionhearted may have never even left France to visit England

[2:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

Exactly

I'm even looking more recently; like Marie Antoinette, who probably spoke Bavarian German

[2:17 PM] Mr. Silver:

But yeah. If you needed a royal, or a high level peer, and were coming up short at home, a lot of the time you'd tap the relatives in some other country.

[2:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

And these people would've had no direct contact with commoners to develop regional dialects

[2:18 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Your Majesty, we're right out of Greys, and we were wondering if we have a loose cousin in Austria who you could pop in the post?"

"Van Who?  Nevermind...tell him his name is Grey and put him on a carriage.  We'll have a boat waiting at Calais for him."

[2:21 PM] Mr. Blue:

I think the king of Greece, when they went to a monarchy briefly, was a German dude.

Imagine having a king that doesn't even look like anyone from your country.

Although it says here the German guy that was installed as the Greek king was also a distant descendant of the old Byzantine kings

[2:26 PM] Ms. Rose:

Wasn't there a British princess or something that became in charge of India and had never ever been there?

[2:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

Probably Victoria

[2:27 PM] Mr. Silver:

Definitely Victoria. They started calling her Empress because of India

[2:27 PM] Ms. Rose:

Wiki article is too long. We'll go with Victoria.

[2:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

Half the world is named after Queen Victoria. Or, rather, I think there's more places named after her or in her honor than anyone else, from Canada to Africa, India, and of course England

[2:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

More than half the high-end peerage of the western world is related to Victoria

WWI was quite irritating

[2:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heck even an era was named after her

Victorian

[2:28 PM] Ms. Rose:

Houses, dresses, attitudes...she's got it all!

[2:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

She was a big ol' broad and she liked to wield it

[2:34 PM] Ms. Rose:

So (happy news!) I did figure out how to play Candy Crush and keep my progress, without logging in to Facebook. But I kept that other cat game with the Engrish instructions. If you lose a level, it says: "Turn over. FAILURE. Turn of 5 available for the $."

[2:36 PM] Mr. Silver:

$ is very reasonable for the turn of 5. 

What rate the turn regrow in typical?

[2:37 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Pat the cat to life get."

"Can not be moved!" (What did I do!?)

"Please stroke the cat 114/300."

[2:44 PM] Mr. Silver:

I think cats might have written that game

[2:45 PM] Ms. Rose:

Would not surprise me.

[2:25 PM] Mr. Silver:

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/07/04/australia.apostles/

(followup from Mentalfloss)

Seems like 2005 was a rough year for ocean-based landmarks. That July, one of Australia's "Twelve Apostles," nine limestone monoliths off the southwest coast of Victoria, took a tumble into the ocean.

"Australians...who cannot count...have redubbed the remaining 8 monoliths "The 14 Apostles"."

[2:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heh

"That one's Judas, mate."

[2:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

"An goin' dahn the queue, there's Matt, Mark, Pete, Bart, Jude, Bruce, and Blue."

[2:30 PM] Mr. Blue:

So they lost Jack

[2:30 PM] Mr. Silver:

Too right

 

[2:36 PM] Mr. Blue:

Goonies House

(Fixed...shoulda checked the link.  This is the pic we started with. - Mr. Silver)
"The Goonies stand in solidarity with Israel"

[2:41 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Cyndi Lauper sings)

"Goy e-nough...for Jew is -

Goy e-nough...for me!

It's GOY e-noooough!

Goy e-ough for Mee-EE

Aye Aye Aye Aye AYE!"

I have to assume the guy up there painting knows he's on record as standing on the Walsh's roof.

[2:44 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

Goy enough......

[2:45 PM] Mr. Silver:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3108075/It-s-difficult-place-live-Owner-Goonies-house-reveals-s-harassed-1-000-fans-day-sleepy-town-braces-influx-visitors-movie-s-30th-anniversary.html

[2:46 PM] Mr. Blue:

The wishing well scene makes more sense now

“Mister, I need a ride. We just had a run in with these really disgusting people. You might've heard of 'em, the Liebermans?

"Don't say that! Never say that!  Goonies never say two-state solution!"

[2:51 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

"Maybe there's stuff up there for us that we can keep from the oldsiders. Maybe there's some kitsch stuff!"

(Later)

"But what if? You guys... ...what if this map can lead to One-Eyed Weinstein's kitsch stuff?” “We wouldn't have to leave the Goon Docks."

[3:10 PM] Mr. Blue:

Sloth as a golem

[3:12 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Oy! You menschen!!!"

[3:21 PM] Mr. Blue:

"bullet holes the size of matzo balls!" doesn't even need changed

[3:21 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

[3:22 PM] Mr. Blue:

Maybe Chunk is Jewish.

[3:22 PM] Mr. Silver:

Seriously? Yes, he's definitely Jewish

The film was released in Israel as "Chunk and the Goonies"

[3:23 PM] Mr. Blue:

Oh yeah... last name Cohen

I never noticed

[3:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

And a variety of other references, most obvious being his Hebrew school

[3:23 PM] Mr. Blue:

Ahhh

The actor's last name is Cohen too

[3:24 PM] Mr. Silver:

The actor even got a law degree.

420 - Making Errors For Fun, King Of Muricans, Does The Cat Care You Are Playing?, "Try And Write English", Killer Apostrophe's, and "Being That He Lacks A Bit"

(Sorry its been a long time...there was pages and pages of Trump election victory bitching and quipping, and though some of it was worth reading for analysis or humor, it was too big of a mess to face.  I finally just cut out 95% of it just to have something to start posting again - Mr. Silver)

[‎1:38 PM] Mr. Brown:

The computer does not know why the computer does not work

[‎1:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

Like "This Windows Error has caused an error and needs to be closed"?

[‎1:40 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Please click to terminate the application, or terminate the application by clicking the 'terminate' button."

See, that's one of the big things I miss about

1. working for a company of 40 people and
2. being their only database programmer/IT person.

I used to intentionally code error messages that said stuff like "You effed up. Better call IT."

And everyone laughed and it was funny, innocent humor.

Google thinks it's funny with its "Awww, snap" error. Please. Kindergarten stuff. It's not a real customized error unless the user feels totally humiliated.

"ERROR: You just did that thing I told you not to do. Please go read your email."

[‎1:45 PM] Mr. Brown:

“Windows has caused a “Whoomp! There it is!” Error”

[‎1:51 PM] Mr. Silver:

Hehe

[9:35 AM] Mr. Blue:

Everyone hates illegal immigration (except illegal immigrants and farmers) but neither party has had the guts to tackle the issue.  Maybe, finally, it'll get resolved, even if perhaps heavy-handedly

And if Trump doesn't build his wall, which was pretty much his primary campaign promise, he ain't getting re-elected in 4 years so you can look forward to someone else in 2020

[9:37 AM] Ms. Rose:

I would vote for you if you ran, solely based on "Everyone hates illegal immigration, except illegal immigrants."

Blue 2020!

LOL

[9:37 AM] Mr. Silver:

(will believe when seen)

I've been a crushing pessimist all morning ;)

[9:38 AM] Ms. Rose:

Crushing pessimism would be a good platform to run on, too.

[9:38 AM] Mr. Silver:

Yes

I was challenged as a Democrat Far Left Lib-Tard Bastard who is “everything wrong with this country” recently.

I told him honestly, though.

“I'm a radical Technocrat and have been for, like, ever.”

[9:45 AM] Ms. Rose:

I think the really old-timeys came up with the "civic duty" of voting back when democracy was like the craziest idea in the world.

"You must do this new thing called voting!"“But, why?”
"Um, because, you have to. Or this won't work and you'll be stuck with a King."“You said "duty". Uhh huh huh huh!”

[9:49 AM] Mr. Blue:

I didn't really like either candidate

[9:56 AM] Mr. Silver:

And so...we elected a king

“Our Presidency was Our God-given right, so of course We won.”

As far as principles I was a Bernie guy.  Betting the DNC is kicking themselves over that.

[9:57 AM] Mr. Blue:

I've seen people both blame Bernie for opening Clinton wounds that the GOP exploited, and blame the Dems for their treatment of Bernie that pushed a lot of progressives to either stay home, or in some cases maybe even vote for Trump out of spite

I'd go with the latter.

[9:59 AM] Mr. Silver:

Between Clinton and Trump, Clinton was incredibly more qualified.  There really was no choice between them.

...apparently...

The "Intelligent Vote" segment of the population wasn't out in big numbers, I guess.

[10:01 AM] Mr. Blue:

Imagine what this does to Trump's ego

That's the real winner

[10:01 AM] Mr. Silver:

Infinity+1?

Victory had no effect on his ego at all.

[10:02 AM] Ms. Rose:

Imagine what the victory will do for his hair!

[10:03 AM] Mr. Blue:

That will be a mandatory hairstyle for all men in 2 years time

[10:03 AM] Ms. Rose:

"For my new Chief of Staff, I elect toupee #23. I think you'll love him. Definitely one of my most trusted and fluffy hairpieces."

[10:03 AM] Mr. Silver:

LOL

[1:54 PM] Ms. Rose:

Downloaded the "Cat Life" game.

(In-Game text) "There are many type of cat. New cat will be given is stage with marking clear. It will be glad if tap on cat is carried out! Cat is me come running up when double-tap floor! When you mix two favourite cats... ... a lovely kitten is produced!"

"Try to (music note) enjoy the leisurely life with cat. Cat after another going to add!"

[1:56 PM] Mr. Silver:

Cat Life, eh?

[1:57 PM] Ms. Rose:

"Firstly, try to release cat." Man, this is getting complicated.

"Tutorial is over. Please take a walk to increase cat." :(

[2:16 PM] Mr. Blue:

Was this written by foreigners?

I’m out, gonna go build a fall-out shelter

[2:27 PM] Ms. Rose:

I just want to increase cat, you know?

[2:27 PM] Mr. Silver:

Understandable

[2:36 PM] Ms. Rose:

Cat Life is also great because it gives you goals like "400 points." And you touch one button and everything starts exploding and you get like 623,000 points.

[2:38 PM] Mr. Silver:

That's very cat like. 

I can't walk in my house for star bursts and piles of sparkles

[2:38 PM] Ms. Rose:

Hahaha!

[2:27 PM] Mr. Silver:

Try and...

My current peeve is "try and"

[2:28 PM] Ms. Rose:

Is that the opposite of "can't even?"

[2:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

Unfortunately I didn't remember it til Mr. Blue left and Mr. Brown wasn't in.

It came to my especial attention in reading Harry Potter books again

"Augh!  She's English educated!  I thought they could write!"

[2:30 PM] Ms. Rose:

Yeah, I totally know what you mean. (*attempts to hide fact that she's never read Harry Potter*)

[2:30 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Are you seriously going to try and break into the bank?" 

"He's going to try and kill me if he catches me!"

(me) "J.K.!!! It's 'try to'!  What are you?  American?"

"Is he going to try Harry's patience before he kills him?"

[2:31 PM] Ms. Rose:

But I feel like "try and" is sort of that sweet British-y thing of feigning overachievement, even though you can't even write gud.

[2:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

Yes, well once I really noticed it, I found it's ubiquitous in English. It’s everywhere.

Friggin' micro idiom

[2:32 PM] Ms. Rose:

Stating that you are going to kill someone and also TRY to kill someone sounds like extra effort!

[2:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

"He will try killing me, and succeed!"

[2:33 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

(Hagrid) "You're a try-er, Harry!"

[2:33 PM] Mr. Silver:

"I expect several stages of practice before this is over, Dumbledore!"

[9:04 AM] Mr. Silver:

Morning Ms. Rose

I'm going to try, and have a good day today.

But I think the agent's are going to try, and drive me crazy.

[9:05 AM] Ms. Rose:

Hieee!

[9:05 AM] Mr. Silver:

(swat's extra apostrophe)

They're swarming!

(swing's apostrophe swatter!)

AUGH!

[9:07 AM] Ms. Rose:

*hands Mr. Silver industrial sized can of apostrophe spray*

[9:07 AM] Mr. Silver:

Thank's

[9:08 AM] Ms. Rose:

LOL

[9:08 AM] Mr. Silver:

:S

[3:22 PM] Sarah:

Is anyone talking to John Lakovich?

[3:23 PM] Mr. Silver:

A lesser strain of John Malkovich.

[3:23 PM] Alec:

LOL

[3:24 PM] Thomas:

I legit LOL'd on a phone call

Haha

[3:24 PM] Mr. Silver:

(chuckle)

[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

“Becoming John Lakovich”, from Asylum Studios

[3:26 PM] Ms. Rose:

(rofl)

[3:27 PM] Mr. Silver:

Snerk!