Saturday, March 7, 2015

329 - Mr. Brown: Super Alien, One Can Counter TV Nostalgia With Bad Theme Lyrics, Nothing Cleans Your Kitchen Or Stomach Like Barf!, and "The (Illegal) British (Zombie) Invasion"

9:10 AM Mr. Brown
The xenomorph in my head is making funny noises.
I always thought it would be funny if a spaceship were to come down in my backyard and somebody walked out and said hi, and all of a sudden I remember I was made by aliens and I’m one of them. LOL
9:14 AM Mr. Blue
Wasn’t that Gonzo's back story?
9:15 AM Mr. Silver
Yes.
9:18 AM Mr. Brown
I was one of the test subjects for a melding of alien DNA so they could live here.
So far I keep getting sick.
LOL
9:19 AM Mr. Silver
Turns out you are a superman for an alien.
9:20 AM Mr. Blue
"Well, this 'Mr. Brown' experiment was a dud…"
9:22 AM Mr. Brown
Maybe I’m a success.
I haven’t died yet.
LOL
9:23 AM Mr. Silver
(Alien scientist in secret earth base) "The yellow Earth sun has given Brown #28 the power of physiological, emotional and mental stability -- GK!!!  Nrrggg!  Hack hack!  I'm blind!  What?  WHAT?  GURK!!!  Baaaaaarf!!! (sigh) – for an average of 300 days out of a standard galactic year."
(Alien commander) "Fascinating – tck! ... tck! ... (spits blood) -- results."



11:15 AM Mr. Brown
NASA, you funny.
What they failed to tell you is that this really is that the rover sculpted it.
11:19 AM Mr. Blue
Looks like they took some liberties with the mouth when they blew it up.
11:19 AM Mr. Silver
An Obama plot to make the USA both Muslim and Socialist at the same time, 100s of millions of years in the making!  They've got him THIS time!  Call Fox News and the Tea Party!
11:21 AM Mr. Silver
"Uncannily like Barak Obama...or Grady, from Sanford & Son." 
11:22 AM Mr. Brown
Dun dun dun na dun dun duna duna dun
11:23 AM Mr. Silver
" 'lizabeth!  I'm comin' ta Mars, Elizabeth!  I'm comin'!"
11:27 AM Mr. Brown
Now, I can't get the theme song outta my head.
“Well you take the good you take the bad…”
Oh boy… Heading down the line now.
“Movin’ on up!”
Yep, all the TV theme songs are running through my head now.
On “Wonder Woman” now.
“We-lcome back…”
Crap!
11:29 AM Mr. Blue
*slap bass*
11:29 AM Mr. Brown
“BATMAN!”
11:29 AM Mr. Silver
Never saw "Crap". Who was in that one?
11:29 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
11:29 AM Mr. Blue
“Heroes in a half shell, turtle power!”
11:30 AM Mr. Silver
I’ve always hated that tagline.
I always see dead oyster superheroes.
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
"Heroes in a soup tureen!  Turtle Power!"
"They're the world's most tasty fighting team!  (They're really dead!)”
"They're heroes in the tureen, and they're green! (Diced with a cream base!)”
"When the evil Shredder attacks!  This hero soup does nothing back!"
11:34 AM Mr. Blue
“Ohh so no one told you life was gonna be this wayyyyyy!” *clap clap clap clap clap*
11:36 AM Mr. Silver
"Your job's a joke, you’re broke, the girls all think you're gay!"
11:39 AM Ms. Rose
"And if you threw a party, invited ev’ry one you knew... You would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the car attacks would say: Thank you for being a Benz!"
11:44 AM Mr. Silver
"Oh you take the good, you take the bad, if you had a choice that's pretty sad - you fail at life, you fail at life!"
"When the world, never seems, to be livin' up to your dreams...and suddenly you're finding out, everything is not about you.  Scre-ew you..." 
Quick!  I need another one!  Feed me!
11:53 AM Mr. Brown
“The fats of life, the fats of life, just eat some more you filthy ho oops sorry
11:54 AM Mr. Silver
I’m having trouble matching those lyrics to the tune, Mr. Brown...
11:54 AM Mr. Brown
last have is not ho
you finish the word
to wh
i forgot the W
11:56 AM Mr. Silver
You're hurting my language centers…
11:56 AM Mr. Brown
whore
11:56 AM Mr. Silver
Up yours, too!
11:57 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
“I'm grooving on up, to the grease side, of a deluxe burger and some fries.”
11:58 AM Mr. Silver
Stick "cheese" on “burger”, and we might have a winner. (flexes lyrics muscles)
12:01 PM Mr. Silver
"Beans don't burn in the kitchen.” 
“Beans don't burn on the grill.” 
“How the Hell do you burn these beans?” 
“I guess I just got no skill."
"Shove 'em up in the chim-ney.”
“Get 'em in flaming fat.”
“Long as they burn,”
“It's good by me baby,”
“I hate eatin' sh- like that!"
<insert> “We’re grooving on up, to the grease side, of a deluxe cheeseburger and some fri-ies!”



1:16 PM Mr. Blue
Her first name, Famke, means "girl" in West Frisian, the native language of the Dutch province Friesland.[3
Wow, how original.
Up there with Madchen Amick.
1:19 PM Mr. Silver
There's Elle McPherson.  "My name?  'She'."
2:05 PM Mr. Blue
Last name "Popejoy"
"My ancestors were really, really happy with the popes!"
2:08 PM Ms. Rose
Maybe that's the brand of dish soap they use at the Vatican...?
2:08 PM Mr. Blue
2:09 PM Ms. Rose
OMG...hahaha!
2:29 PM Mr. Silver
“Dishes so clean, they'll make you Barf!”
2:30 PM Ms. Rose
Then you can clean the Barf off the dishes with more Barf soap! IT NEVER ENDS! O_O
2:34 PM Mr. Brown
And tests prove Barf works 10% better than Ralf!
2:42 PM Mr. Silver
(actress) "And Barf comes in so many scents!  Like (inhales) HOOOOAAK!!!!  Oh my G- HUURRROOOK!!!!! Pant…pant... And...(reaches fearfully for box #2) Oh! ...and Lemon Fresh." 
(director whispering) "Smell it."
"No!"



1:41 PM Mr. Silver
Man...what a pile of ancient stuff I have saved here.
1:44 PM Mr. Silver
I didn't even keep 95% of the good stuff from way back when. I always liked this one.
--
Nick: I wonder why the family is in California?
Ruth: ‘cus they don't want to be around her.
Mike: Illegal immigrants! Same reason she has no friends: doesn’t want to be found out!
Nick: Her family isn’t even friends with her.
Mr. Silver: Her last name is Bradfield.
Mike: LOL! Oh!
Nick: Fake last name.
Mr. Blue: Illegal immigrants from Shropshire.
Mr. Silver: She sneaked in illegally with a shipment of English muffins to get work as an executive assistant. Americans just won't take those jobs.
Ruth: LMAO
Nick: She hid in the nooks and crannies in the English muffins.
Mr. Silver: America MUST put up a wall to keep out well-educated Northern Europeans who are fluent in English!
Mr. Blue: America is becoming over saturated with eel pies and Burberry.
Mr. Silver: Marmite and Major Grey’s Chutney on supermarket shelves!
Mr. Silver: "Old Beaners Go Home!"
--
Mr. Brown
Mmmm… Marmite.
Damn it, I can't find it anywhere anymore.
1:50 PM Mr. Silver
They flushed it?  From the (local store) shelves, I mean?
(Specialty grocery) will certainly have it.
1:51 PM Ms. Rose
I thought 'marmite' was an animal... Oh, wait. That's 'marmot'. Yes?
1:51 PM Mr. Brown
Right.
Wonderful flavor.
I like the bitter.
1:53 PM Mr. Silver
Mmmm...brewing byproduct zombie yeast paste...
1:54 PM Mr. Brown
Yes yes! On toast.
1:54 PM Mr. Blue
I like my eel pies and Burberry line.
I was funny back then.
1:54 PM Mr. Silver
You still are, you know.
(shuffle shuffle) "scooooones..." (shuffle shuffle) "chiiiiipsss..."
"Yeast paste zombies! Quick!  Scatter crumpets about and set out tea!"
(shuffle shuffle) "raaaaw-ther...."  (shuffle shuffle) "Iiiii saaaaay..."
"It's not working!  Do you have a picture of the queen?"
1:56 PM Mr. Brown
(Shuffle shuffle) TEEEEEEEAAAAAA TEEEAAAAAAA
1:59 PM Ms. Rose
*stands motionless, like a Buckingham Palace guard* “Play guard! They won’t attack you if you play guard!”
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