[12:17 PM] Mr. Blue:
TJ Maxx in Europe is called TK Maxx
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
TK?
TJ mean something else? (looks)
Yup, kinda
“The first European store opened in Bristol in 1994. The company modified the name to T.K. Maxx to avoid "confusion with the established British retail chain T J Hughes (which is not affiliated with TJX)".
[12:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes, that would be quite confusing
(???)
[12:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, Hughes and Maxx do rhyme, after all
[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
TJ Mieux's
[12:45 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hahaha
Hughes with a silent H, a U as in hug, and a hard phlegmy G - “Ucgks”
"It looks like 'Hughes', but it's pronounced like a Scotsman barfing out bad cheese."
[11:35 AM] Mr. Blue:
Headline of the day
(Although it was several days ago)
[11:56 AM] Mr. Silver:
That's a good headline!
That's a quote so newsworthy that I think it should be on Boris' tombstone.
[11:57 AM] Mr. Blue:
Gunshot victim: 'Ow, I've been shot'
[11:57 AM] Mr. Silver:
'Nice day out' declares meteorologist
[11:57 AM] Mr. Blue:
That Boris guy was doing a good job on the streets for the parts I tuned into. Cops could learn a thing or two from him about de-escalation
Reminds me of this
[1:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
"For some reason, the simulator will only say things like "I'm cold!" "What the heck is up with my arm?" "Where's my nose?" and "Somebody shot me!"
"Falling between the frequencies of 100 and 150 Hertz, the Iceman’s dulcet tones were more or less the same as those of the average modern male."
Which is hardly surprising since he's only 5000 years old and IS an average modern male.
[1:21 PM] Mr. Blue:
They found he's actually related to people in a nearby village
Just listen to what they sound like.
[1:33 PM] Mr. Silver:
Iceman speaks in an Italian accent? How odd.
"Eh Gino...tweaka the As...he don'ta sound'a quite-a right."
[1:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yet it’s actually a German-speaking area of Italy
[1:44 PM] Mr. Silver:
Just goofing on the article details though: They made it speak the Italian vowels
[1:44 PM] Mr. Blue:
Oh okay
[1:50 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Scientist #1) "The Iceman, a-now he-a sounds'a perfecto!"
(Scientist #2) "Nein! Gib mir der contrrrols!"
(Struggle over mixer)
[1:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
"We hypothesize that he spoke a dialect we've dubbed 'old Italian man'"
Interesting
“By autosomal DNA, Ötzi is most closely related to southern Europeans, especially to geographically isolated populations like Corsicans andSardinians.[44][45][46][47]
A 2012 paper by paleoanthropologist John Hawks suggests that Ötzi had a higher degree of Neanderthal ancestry than modern Europeans.[50]”
Hey! That makes two of us.
[1:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Two of us what? Two with the opinion or two with high levels of Neanderthal?
[1:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
I have high levels of Neanderthal DNA
According to 23andme.com
Higher than 96% of the world
[1:56 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well your family lived where they survived longest, I think
[1:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[2:07 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Yo! Yo progenitor had intercourse with a Mousterian flint knapper!"
"Whatchu call me?!?"
Couldn't resist looking it up.
[3:07 PM] Mr. Blue:
They theorize that Neanderthals, like Middle paleolithic Homo sapiens, did not have a division of labor between the sexes. Under this hypothesis, both male and female Neanderthals participated in the single main occupation of hunting big game that flourished in Europe in the ice age, such as bison, deer, gazelles and wild horses. This hypothesis proposes that the Neanderthal's relative lack of labor division resulted in their poor extraction of resources from the environment — as compared to Homo sapiens — and contributed to their demise.
So they died out for same reason birthrates are currently plummeting and the only humans left in 500 years will be Nigerians and Haredi Jews
It seems like neanderthals were just smaller shittier humans
It seems borderline obvious to me that humans probably played a huge part in wiping them out, ya know? We do that to a lot of species. Hell, we've done that to a lot of human subclades
It also seems weird though, that like everyone who has neanderthal DNA seems to be doing comparitively better, evolutionarily, than those that have none. You'd think if neanderthals were so disadvantaged that you'd think even as little as 1-4% neanderthal DNA would be enough to set that group back further than the group with 0%
So maybe they were weaker physically but stronger mentally? But that didn't mean squat back in the era of proto-bears and dire wolves and glyptodons.
[3:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Of course it did
[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:
But they still died out.
[3:27 PM] Mr. Silver:
Approaching your idea from more evolutionary thinking, it seems most reasonable that the % of neanderthal DNA that remains, remains because it was an advantage to have it.
Whatever it does
[3:28 PM] Mr. Blue:
But it wasn't an advantage to be full-on neanderthal
[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Quite possibly not
[3:29 PM] Mr. Blue:
So 1-4% is better than 0%, but 100% is worse than 0%
[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
[3:29 PM] Mr. Blue:
I wonder what the sweetspot is
Maybe me and Otzi got it.
[3:30 PM] Mr. Silver:
People breed animals to best advantage all the time.
We got "the good bits" of the neanderthals
Whatever it is.
[3:31 PM] Mr. Blue:
Too bad this sort of stuff isn't looked into more
Lets see something about neanderthal DNA and IQ or some other intelligence scoring
[11:43 AM] Ms. Rose:
So now I need your help with editing.
I'm applying for that Knowledge Base Developer position. I am certain I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting it. But it's "important" that I put my name in the hat. May I email you my cover letter and résumé in a few? Just need it proofread. I can't make any changes to the résumé since I designed it at home and made a PDF. But I'd appreciate any feedback! Deadline to apply is today.
[11:45 AM] Mr. Silver:
Sure!
(reads)
Crankin' hard on the enthusiasm in this.
[12:42 PM] Ms. Rose:
I'd consider cutting off an appendage to get that job. I'm probably up against every good ol' salaried boy though, I'm sure.
[12:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
The resume is dandy
I think it's acceptable. Maybe a bit overboard in the enthusiastic word choices, but it's OK.
[1:26 PM] Ms. Rose:
Okay, thank you. I appreciate your feedback. As I said, this is probably like a part-time IT guy applying for X's job. It could even be one of those things where there is already someone doing it and they just want to formally give them a title.
I would seriously love, love, LOVE to get it though.
[1:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Sounds like you match it
[1:44 PM] Ms. Rose:
Well, cross your fingers and toes, and break out the lucky charms (actual charms, not cereal) for me. :)
[1:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
The “consolation cereal” will be available if you call for it.
(Exaggerated Irish Accent) "Those kids are always after me lucky gainful employment...Orange Experience, Yellow Degrees, Red Schedule Requirements, Green Nepotism and Purple Horseshoes!"
I should have listened to my guidance counselor and gotten into marketing 30 years ago...
[2:02 PM] Ms. Rose:
Hahaha! (About the charms, not your life goals.)
I just don't want to loathe and despise my job, and feel so damn useless. I'm not saying I want to LOVE my job. But being engaged in your work and having a measurable start-middle-end to tasks is not too much to ask, I think.
[2:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
You could simplify it to a photo of you laying face down in dirt and typing "PLEEEEEEAAAAASSSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[2:33 PM] Ms. Rose:
That would be both concise AND artistic!
[2:36 PM] Mr. Silver:
As your marketing expert, I say go for it.
[3:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
I just thought of something.
How would anybody be able to pick a favorite drink in Japan?
There are so many
That's the drink right there. Cool name. They have Tommy Lee Jones as the spokesman.
[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
They must just do runs of 200,000 cans of whatever they threw together.
That product list is ridiculous and it's one brand.
[3:30 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yep
[3:30 PM] Mr. Blue:
Here's the one I was thinking of
Why would you put "sweat" in the name of your drink
[3:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
Maybe Pocari a Japanese word for “kawaii schoolgirl”?
“Kawaii Schoolgirl Sweat”
They'd sell a billion to creepy old guys
(looks)
Officially it's “meaningless”.
[3:03 PM] Mr. Blue:
[3:07 PM] Mr. Brown:
How does a wall keep frost off?
[3:07 PM] Mr. Blue:
They heat it, apparently
[3:08 PM] Mr. Silver:
The shelter provided by enclosing walls can raise the ambient temperature within a garden by several degrees.
The exterior of a typical walled garden where the stone acts as a slow-release re-radiator of solar energy.
Pre-glass "greenhouse"?
Sun hits the wall...
Wall heats garden...
Shark's in the garden...
Our shark?
Hehehe
(sings) Fare-weeell and adi-
(oops...got mixed up there)
[3:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
Saturday, June 17, 2017
Thursday, June 15, 2017
407 - No One Can Afford World War III, The Birth Of Resume Fraud, Gaia Has A Bad Case Of Gas, and Saint Chip's Monks
[2:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
(Silver Jr.) "When do you think we'll have a World War III?"
(me) "Interesting question. Depends on how mature a civilization level we reach in the next decade or so, I guess. Either within that, or we'll never have a World War III."
(Jr.) "Which do you think?"
(Me) “Probably never. World War III already happened, really, it just wasn't very bloody. But things have changed. Only little powers are likely to do anything very stupid and everyone will turn on them. We're too smart and well connected. There will be wars, of course. Global conquest stuff? No."
[3:20 PM] Mr. Blue:
You think any nukes will ever be used anytime soon? I'd say it's doubtful.
[3:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
If it happens it'll be an idiot like NK and they'll be pounded utterly flat for it. Sure wouldn't rate as a "world war"
[3:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
I could see India & Pakistan getting into it
That could draw others in, but it wouldn't be a World War either
[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nope
Apocalypse-speculative futurists will talk about "World Resource Wars!!!"
But they won't happen either.
You can't have a resource war for very long or of large scope...turns out you need the resources to fight one.
Smaller and smaller local ones? Sure.
We're past Peak War
[12:55 PM] Mr. Blue:
What's up with Borg way down there in Malta?
[1:27 PM] Mr. Silver:
Borg...hehe
(Google Image search for "People of Malta")
Lotta Smiths in the UK
I've always wondered about that one.
And Miller
They strike me as a traditional fraud. It is far too common a pair of names for them to be real. There were just too few of either profession to account for so many.
Go back to where the recorded Smith or Miller in the line can be traced, and I'm guessing there's usually just nothing else at all.
[1:39 PM] Mr. Blue:
Nothing else?
[1:41 PM] Mr. Silver:
As in, Mr. Miller and Mr. Smith made up their names
[1:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Ah
So they weren't millers or smiths?
Occupationally
[1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
Say you are, in fact, “John of Nowhere”...dirt farmer.
And you had to move to the city and didn't want to look like a bum.
The two rich guy types of Nowhere are millers and smiths
[1:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[1:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
Fake resume - “I can't afford to build a mill here, but I'm good for hauling stuff about and can be trusted with math.”
Fake resume – “I can't afford to build a forge here, but I'm good with tools and crafting quality items.”
[1:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
It seems weird that some occupations endured as last names but others didn't
Ahh… butcher in German is Metzger... that's a last name I’ve heard before
[1:52 PM] Mr. Silver:
"One who meats"
[1:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
Went to high school with a Fleischmann
[1:53 PM] Mr. Silver:
“Man of Flesh”
"Like...Frankenstein's monster?"
"SH!!!"
Have to use that one...
The immortal Monster settles down in a small town as Mr. Fleischmann
[1:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
heheh
Wish I knew it meant "meat guy"
There’s a bridge in Nurnberg called the Fleischbrucke
"Meat bridge", with a statue of a bull in the middle
[10:56 AM] Mr. Blue:
Does your house have a garage, Mr. Silver?
[10:56 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
Not that it's used for anything but storing junk and gas
I was hoping those two would party one day for the insurance...
[10:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
Like about 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen?
[10:59 AM] Mr. Silver:
-oline
[10:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
;D
How come we don't breathe nitrogen, or, convert it to something when we do breathe it?
I guess the short answer is oxygen is more reactive, nitrogen more inert
What if you replaced the nitrogen with some other inert gas? Would any other inert gas work? Or would any others poison us?
[11:28 AM] Mr. Silver:
Well, for super deep diving they remove the N and put in He
So...no.
[11:29 AM] Mr. Blue:
Helium?
[11:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
The nitrogen is what causes the bends when you depressurize too fast after diving.
[11:29 AM] Mr. Blue:
I was just gonna throw that one out there
It probably wouldn't work in atmosphere though... like outside of a tank, since it's probably lighter or heavier than nitrogen
[11:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
Helium is much lighter
[11:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
So if we replaced nitrogen with helium the oxygen would fall and we'd be in 100% oxygen
[11:32 AM] Mr. Silver:
(ponders) Yes, and we'd burn up.
[11:32 AM] Mr. Blue:
Neat
[11:35 AM] Mr. Silver:
For a while there, earth was toxic with oxygen
Then some clever microbes figured out how to be aerobic
Still plenty of anaerobic critters out there. I can only think of a couple
Tetanus...botulism...
[11:42 AM] Mr. Blue:
Where did the carbon dioxide come from before creatures became aerobic?
[11:43 AM] Mr. Silver:
Naturally occurring
I suppose everything would have died out if things didn't start adapting to the poison of other things.
“Photosynthesis makes OXYGEN! YAY!”
(All critters that are poisoned by oxygen start to die...)
Critter figures out how to use oxygen! Population explodes! Poops CO2 back out to feed the photosynthesizers that were going to kill everything...
[11:48 AM] Mr. Blue:
So if there was enough naturally occurring CO2 for the plants to begin with, but without the critters plants would eventually have used up the CO2 and died too?
[11:49 AM] Mr. Silver:
Plants in name maybe...this was microbes and algae. It all balanced out like any other cycle
And now there's a majority CO2/O cycle...and a bunch of lesser weirdos
CO2 levels got so bad at one point it would kill us now. Anti Climate Change people will sometimes trot out that there's not too much CO2 because it used to be much higher and "Earth was fine!"
[11:51 AM] Mr. Blue:
"Yeah. *Earth* was"
[11:51 AM] Mr. Silver:
Heh. Yep.
It was back in a time where there wasn't much multi-cellular life going on.
Can't recall the exact details...period name... (looks)
That little upswing at the end is what we did.
[12:12 PM] Mr. Blue:
Those dinos musta been heavy breathers
[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
It was all their factories and stuff
[12:13 PM] Mr. Blue:
I was just thinking about dinosaur civilizations
[12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was remarking the other day at our game night that there was more than ample time and conditions for dozens of intelligent societies to have risen and fallen.
There wouldn't necessarily be much - if anything - left.
"But we'd know, Mr. Silver! It takes 50000 years for the environment to break down plastic for God's sake!"
“Look at this time scale. Now take this calculator and divide by 50,000.”
"… … Ok"
[12:11 PM] Mr. Brown:
Had a dream that the Alving and the Chipmonks and I were fighting a den of vampires
in a house
[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
The Alving and the Chip Monks???
[12:14 PM] Mr. Brown:
Alvin
I wrote that too fast
[12:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
munk
[12:14 PM] Mr. Brown:
Oh, that too
I mean I guess they could have been chipmunk monks fighting vampires with me too.
When I woke up this morning the theme song was stuck in my head
[12:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
"The Holy Brothers of Saint "Chip" Charles"
[12:16 PM] Mr. Brown:
They were movie sized too, not the cartoon size
[12:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
I couldn't stand them, ever
[12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
What are St. Chip's miracles?
[12:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
The cartoon was awful. I used to dread when nothing else was on
[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was too young for their first round, to old for their middle round, and parent age for the current Chipmunk phase.
"You want to watch 'The Squeakuel'? Sigh. OK, Silver Jr., we'll watch it... Man I can't wait til you're old enough for 'Dragonslayer'."
[12:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah looks like first show was The Alvin Show
Then became Alvin and the Chipmunks
[12:35 PM] Mr. Silver:
I looked up St. Chip.
He's known for the following miracles:
1. Being a total bro up until martyrdom.
2. The, like, Thousand Tacos.
and
3. “Dude!”
Under additional consideration were the “12 Popped Collars”, and “The Half Hour Keg Stand”.
(Silver Jr.) "When do you think we'll have a World War III?"
(me) "Interesting question. Depends on how mature a civilization level we reach in the next decade or so, I guess. Either within that, or we'll never have a World War III."
(Jr.) "Which do you think?"
(Me) “Probably never. World War III already happened, really, it just wasn't very bloody. But things have changed. Only little powers are likely to do anything very stupid and everyone will turn on them. We're too smart and well connected. There will be wars, of course. Global conquest stuff? No."
[3:20 PM] Mr. Blue:
You think any nukes will ever be used anytime soon? I'd say it's doubtful.
[3:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
If it happens it'll be an idiot like NK and they'll be pounded utterly flat for it. Sure wouldn't rate as a "world war"
[3:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
I could see India & Pakistan getting into it
That could draw others in, but it wouldn't be a World War either
[3:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nope
Apocalypse-speculative futurists will talk about "World Resource Wars!!!"
But they won't happen either.
You can't have a resource war for very long or of large scope...turns out you need the resources to fight one.
Smaller and smaller local ones? Sure.
We're past Peak War
[12:55 PM] Mr. Blue:
What's up with Borg way down there in Malta?
[1:27 PM] Mr. Silver:
Borg...hehe
(Google Image search for "People of Malta")
Lotta Smiths in the UK
I've always wondered about that one.
And Miller
They strike me as a traditional fraud. It is far too common a pair of names for them to be real. There were just too few of either profession to account for so many.
Go back to where the recorded Smith or Miller in the line can be traced, and I'm guessing there's usually just nothing else at all.
[1:39 PM] Mr. Blue:
Nothing else?
[1:41 PM] Mr. Silver:
As in, Mr. Miller and Mr. Smith made up their names
[1:43 PM] Mr. Blue:
Ah
So they weren't millers or smiths?
Occupationally
[1:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
Say you are, in fact, “John of Nowhere”...dirt farmer.
And you had to move to the city and didn't want to look like a bum.
The two rich guy types of Nowhere are millers and smiths
[1:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yeah
[1:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
Fake resume - “I can't afford to build a mill here, but I'm good for hauling stuff about and can be trusted with math.”
Fake resume – “I can't afford to build a forge here, but I'm good with tools and crafting quality items.”
[1:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
It seems weird that some occupations endured as last names but others didn't
Ahh… butcher in German is Metzger... that's a last name I’ve heard before
[1:52 PM] Mr. Silver:
"One who meats"
[1:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
Went to high school with a Fleischmann
[1:53 PM] Mr. Silver:
“Man of Flesh”
"Like...Frankenstein's monster?"
"SH!!!"
Have to use that one...
The immortal Monster settles down in a small town as Mr. Fleischmann
[1:53 PM] Mr. Blue:
heheh
Wish I knew it meant "meat guy"
There’s a bridge in Nurnberg called the Fleischbrucke
"Meat bridge", with a statue of a bull in the middle
[10:56 AM] Mr. Blue:
Does your house have a garage, Mr. Silver?
[10:56 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
Not that it's used for anything but storing junk and gas
I was hoping those two would party one day for the insurance...
[10:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
Like about 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen?
[10:59 AM] Mr. Silver:
-oline
[10:59 AM] Mr. Blue:
;D
How come we don't breathe nitrogen, or, convert it to something when we do breathe it?
I guess the short answer is oxygen is more reactive, nitrogen more inert
What if you replaced the nitrogen with some other inert gas? Would any other inert gas work? Or would any others poison us?
[11:28 AM] Mr. Silver:
Well, for super deep diving they remove the N and put in He
So...no.
[11:29 AM] Mr. Blue:
Helium?
[11:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
The nitrogen is what causes the bends when you depressurize too fast after diving.
[11:29 AM] Mr. Blue:
I was just gonna throw that one out there
It probably wouldn't work in atmosphere though... like outside of a tank, since it's probably lighter or heavier than nitrogen
[11:29 AM] Mr. Silver:
Helium is much lighter
[11:30 AM] Mr. Blue:
So if we replaced nitrogen with helium the oxygen would fall and we'd be in 100% oxygen
[11:32 AM] Mr. Silver:
(ponders) Yes, and we'd burn up.
[11:32 AM] Mr. Blue:
Neat
[11:35 AM] Mr. Silver:
For a while there, earth was toxic with oxygen
Then some clever microbes figured out how to be aerobic
Still plenty of anaerobic critters out there. I can only think of a couple
Tetanus...botulism...
[11:42 AM] Mr. Blue:
Where did the carbon dioxide come from before creatures became aerobic?
[11:43 AM] Mr. Silver:
Naturally occurring
I suppose everything would have died out if things didn't start adapting to the poison of other things.
“Photosynthesis makes OXYGEN! YAY!”
(All critters that are poisoned by oxygen start to die...)
Critter figures out how to use oxygen! Population explodes! Poops CO2 back out to feed the photosynthesizers that were going to kill everything...
[11:48 AM] Mr. Blue:
So if there was enough naturally occurring CO2 for the plants to begin with, but without the critters plants would eventually have used up the CO2 and died too?
[11:49 AM] Mr. Silver:
Plants in name maybe...this was microbes and algae. It all balanced out like any other cycle
And now there's a majority CO2/O cycle...and a bunch of lesser weirdos
CO2 levels got so bad at one point it would kill us now. Anti Climate Change people will sometimes trot out that there's not too much CO2 because it used to be much higher and "Earth was fine!"
[11:51 AM] Mr. Blue:
"Yeah. *Earth* was"
[11:51 AM] Mr. Silver:
Heh. Yep.
It was back in a time where there wasn't much multi-cellular life going on.
Can't recall the exact details...period name... (looks)
That little upswing at the end is what we did.
[12:12 PM] Mr. Blue:
Those dinos musta been heavy breathers
[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
It was all their factories and stuff
[12:13 PM] Mr. Blue:
I was just thinking about dinosaur civilizations
[12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was remarking the other day at our game night that there was more than ample time and conditions for dozens of intelligent societies to have risen and fallen.
There wouldn't necessarily be much - if anything - left.
"But we'd know, Mr. Silver! It takes 50000 years for the environment to break down plastic for God's sake!"
“Look at this time scale. Now take this calculator and divide by 50,000.”
"… … Ok"
[12:11 PM] Mr. Brown:
Had a dream that the Alving and the Chipmonks and I were fighting a den of vampires
in a house
[12:13 PM] Mr. Silver:
The Alving and the Chip Monks???
[12:14 PM] Mr. Brown:
Alvin
I wrote that too fast
[12:14 PM] Mr. Silver:
munk
[12:14 PM] Mr. Brown:
Oh, that too
I mean I guess they could have been chipmunk monks fighting vampires with me too.
When I woke up this morning the theme song was stuck in my head
[12:15 PM] Mr. Silver:
"The Holy Brothers of Saint "Chip" Charles"
[12:16 PM] Mr. Brown:
They were movie sized too, not the cartoon size
[12:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
I couldn't stand them, ever
[12:16 PM] Mr. Silver:
What are St. Chip's miracles?
[12:16 PM] Mr. Blue:
The cartoon was awful. I used to dread when nothing else was on
[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:
I was too young for their first round, to old for their middle round, and parent age for the current Chipmunk phase.
"You want to watch 'The Squeakuel'? Sigh. OK, Silver Jr., we'll watch it... Man I can't wait til you're old enough for 'Dragonslayer'."
[12:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah looks like first show was The Alvin Show
Then became Alvin and the Chipmunks
[12:35 PM] Mr. Silver:
I looked up St. Chip.
He's known for the following miracles:
1. Being a total bro up until martyrdom.
2. The, like, Thousand Tacos.
and
3. “Dude!”
Under additional consideration were the “12 Popped Collars”, and “The Half Hour Keg Stand”.
Monday, June 12, 2017
406 - Or We Could Just Profit From Time Travel The Blackbeard Way, and Real(ly Big) Estate Disputes
[12:24 PM] Mr. Blue:
Imagine going back to the Middle Ages
You might wear something that you think is specific to the period but might be off... like off enough that someone might just up and kill you.
Maybe red is associated with some heretical religious order for that town in that period...but it doesn't show up in historical records
Maybe because even your impossibly clean skin, teeth and good health makes you stick out like a sore thumb
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Best to show up as a nobody and work up
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
Or your accent
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nod
Use Latin
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
I guess you could feign a speech impediment or pretend you're foreign (but you better pick the right country of origin or else)
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Dress in a mendicant friar's robe and say you are from far-friggin away
[12:26 PM] Mr. Blue:
The best bet would be to show up in a rural area and steal someone's clothes
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
"Ever hear of Latvia?"
"No."
"I'm from Latvia"
[12:27 PM] Mr. Blue:
"It's new"
I think teeth would be a biggie. Even average-looking teeth by today's standards would probably be like, strikingly perfect by any standards prior to 1800. I think there's a reason everybody's lips are pursed shut in old paintings
[12:34 PM] Mr. Silver:
People did pull off fake identity frauds though.
I'd probably claim to be a diplomat sent by Prester John, depending on the year.
[12:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
Foreigners weren't an uncommon thing
[12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Everyone's teeth are like that there."
[12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:
There were like monks and stuff proselytizing. There's a bunch of 600-800 year old churches in Germany named after Irish dudes that were trying to convert people
Of course, most fo them also met unpleasant ends when they ran into the wrong town or the wrong group, like this guy.
Saint Coloman of Stockerau (Irish: Colmán; Latin: Colomannus; died 18 October 1012) was an Irishsaint.
Originally known as Colmán (variously rendered Koloman, Kálmán, Colman, and Colomannus), he was an Irish pilgrim en route to the Holy Land and was mistaken for a spy because of his strange appearance. He was tortured and hanged at Stockerau, near Vienna, Austria, on 16 July 1012.
[12:40 PM] Mr. Silver:
[12:42 PM] Mr. Blue:
"rival foreskins"
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
[12:42 PM] Mr. Brown:
lol
[12:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Given the glut of Holy Foreskins..."
[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
Another problem – if you go back in time in order to acquire wealth and bring it to present day, nobody'd buy it because it wouldn't be aged. You'd have to hide it somewhere that nobody could find, and then come back and dig it back up
Like gold or jewels or something
A lotta mundane stuff would be pretty valuable today
But where do you put it where nobody will find it for 500 years?
I guess you'd have to find buildings that would last that long...like maybe a monastery or a castle...and try to convince someone to let you put it inside the walls
But who's gonna let you go digging into the walls of a castle nowadays to get it back?
And then a lot of buildings that purport to be very very old have technically been destroyed and rebuilt due to fires, wars, general maintenance, etc. Someone might find it anyway.
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes, you'd need to research that exceptionally well.
[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Well, if you know where you will be living you could pick a spot in your yard that nobody will dig. If it was farm land before your screwed
LOL
[12:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Not really. Farmers on centuries-used land dig up troves by accident relatively often these days.
On the other hand, if you went back for research instead, and found out the in-situ answers for a lot of unexplained stuff...
There's your treasure.
[12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
[12:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
Find out where King John lost his treasure wagon in The Wash
Put a radioactive tracer in Captain Kidd's treasure
[12:59 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah. Be the greatest lost treasure hunter in the world
[12:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
Here's my idea..
There's not a lot of virgin old growth forest left on earth. So you find one of those spots today...and that's where you bury your shit 500 years ago.
[12:59 PM] Mr. Silver:
Good point
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
If we're talking about Europe, the old growth forest spots are very small and scattered. Back then, they'd be pretty numerous. but if you can find a specific grove, and bury deep enough
[1:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
...preferably with your family name on it as owner...
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Most old growth forests still left are only remaining because they're inaccessible to loggers and developers, so that means they'd be inaccessible to a lot of other traffic
Yeah... "if found, return to descendants of XXXXX"
[1:01 PM] Mr. Brown:
Nobody knows where Blackbeard's treasure went
I know
lol
[1:03 PM] Mr. Silver:
Me too...it was all goods that were collected and he'd spent any cash in true pirate fashion.
How about going to meet Jacob Waltz in the Superstition Mountains and following him?
[1:04 PM] Mr. Brown:
Go back and play marco polo with Marco Polo
[1:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nnnnn...noooo
"I bet you'll forget where this mine is."
"What? That's stupid! It's a mine. How could you forget where a whole mine is?"
"Just sayin'. Tell you what. Just sign this paper giving me 20% interest if I can find it, and I'll remember where it is for you. We'll leave it at the courthouse, and if you ever lose it..."
"You're an idiot."
"But you'll never lose it, right? It's not like I'm charging you anything. Just sign here."
[1:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
HehehI'm picturing Mr. Brown going back to Berlin on april 30th 1945, "I'm here to find Hitler"*walks up to random army official* Guten tag. Vo, ist, durr, furr-err
[1:11 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hehehe
[1:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
So, I'm reading this one about Marco Polo
There is debate if he made up the trip to Chinal
China
[1:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
He definitely never made it to Chinal
[1:23 PM] Mr. Brown:
They cite things he did not mention about China that most all others that have been there have mentioned.
Like the wall
And foot binding
[1:24 PM] Mr. Silver:
The All Right Wall
[1:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
Polo says he was a frend of Kubli Khan
[1:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, be honest, he probably saw this:
You can see it from SPACE!
[1:26 PM] Mr. Brown:
They are suggesting he made it to Persia, and they had been to China a lot and wrote books. So he read books there and then wrote based on them
How about going back in time to see who Jack the Ripper actually was?
Find out it was a woman
[1:28 PM] Mr. Silver:
They were all elaborate suicides.
[1:28 PM] Mr. Brown:
Jane the Ripper
It's very possible it was a woman
They decided it was a man based on what was done and who it was done to
[1:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Perhaps the world's worst midwife?
[1:30 PM] Mr. Brown:
Perhaps it was a pimp
[1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
I wonder if anyone would talk about him anymore.
You'd come home, write a book...go on an expose show.
Point out it was some boring shlub
All the mystery gone and a whole market for the man would disappear.
[1:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
Find out it was aliens all along
Well, he does not stand up to the numbers other killers have hit nowadays
[1:34 PM] Mr. Blue:
He only killed what, 3 people? Maybe 5?
[1:35 PM] Mr. Brown:
5
That they could somewhat relate and decided were all the same guy
From stuff I heard about it, the police did a very poor job
[2:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
This is overall my favorite article of the day, BTW
[2:48 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
I hope France doesn't decide to "cancel" the Louisiana Purchase
[2:49 PM] Mr. Silver:
"We checked the books and you never paid in full."
Russia will take back Alaska
[2:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
That'd be fun
Germany cancels the Potsdam Conference border agreements...takes back 1/3rd of Poland.
I guess that's how WW2 started. kinda
Germany was like: This Versailles Treaty is uhh... non-binding... So we're gonna take it all back... plus some extra for our time."
Imagine going back to the Middle Ages
You might wear something that you think is specific to the period but might be off... like off enough that someone might just up and kill you.
Maybe red is associated with some heretical religious order for that town in that period...but it doesn't show up in historical records
Maybe because even your impossibly clean skin, teeth and good health makes you stick out like a sore thumb
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Best to show up as a nobody and work up
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
Or your accent
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nod
Use Latin
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
I guess you could feign a speech impediment or pretend you're foreign (but you better pick the right country of origin or else)
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Dress in a mendicant friar's robe and say you are from far-friggin away
[12:26 PM] Mr. Blue:
The best bet would be to show up in a rural area and steal someone's clothes
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
"Ever hear of Latvia?"
"No."
"I'm from Latvia"
[12:27 PM] Mr. Blue:
"It's new"
I think teeth would be a biggie. Even average-looking teeth by today's standards would probably be like, strikingly perfect by any standards prior to 1800. I think there's a reason everybody's lips are pursed shut in old paintings
[12:34 PM] Mr. Silver:
People did pull off fake identity frauds though.
I'd probably claim to be a diplomat sent by Prester John, depending on the year.
[12:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
Foreigners weren't an uncommon thing
[12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Everyone's teeth are like that there."
[12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:
There were like monks and stuff proselytizing. There's a bunch of 600-800 year old churches in Germany named after Irish dudes that were trying to convert people
Of course, most fo them also met unpleasant ends when they ran into the wrong town or the wrong group, like this guy.
Saint Coloman of Stockerau (Irish: Colmán; Latin: Colomannus; died 18 October 1012) was an Irishsaint.
Originally known as Colmán (variously rendered Koloman, Kálmán, Colman, and Colomannus), he was an Irish pilgrim en route to the Holy Land and was mistaken for a spy because of his strange appearance. He was tortured and hanged at Stockerau, near Vienna, Austria, on 16 July 1012.
[12:40 PM] Mr. Silver:
[12:42 PM] Mr. Blue:
"rival foreskins"
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
[12:42 PM] Mr. Brown:
lol
[12:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Given the glut of Holy Foreskins..."
[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
Another problem – if you go back in time in order to acquire wealth and bring it to present day, nobody'd buy it because it wouldn't be aged. You'd have to hide it somewhere that nobody could find, and then come back and dig it back up
Like gold or jewels or something
A lotta mundane stuff would be pretty valuable today
But where do you put it where nobody will find it for 500 years?
I guess you'd have to find buildings that would last that long...like maybe a monastery or a castle...and try to convince someone to let you put it inside the walls
But who's gonna let you go digging into the walls of a castle nowadays to get it back?
And then a lot of buildings that purport to be very very old have technically been destroyed and rebuilt due to fires, wars, general maintenance, etc. Someone might find it anyway.
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes, you'd need to research that exceptionally well.
[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Well, if you know where you will be living you could pick a spot in your yard that nobody will dig. If it was farm land before your screwed
LOL
[12:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Not really. Farmers on centuries-used land dig up troves by accident relatively often these days.
On the other hand, if you went back for research instead, and found out the in-situ answers for a lot of unexplained stuff...
There's your treasure.
[12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
[12:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
Find out where King John lost his treasure wagon in The Wash
Put a radioactive tracer in Captain Kidd's treasure
[12:59 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah. Be the greatest lost treasure hunter in the world
[12:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
Here's my idea..
There's not a lot of virgin old growth forest left on earth. So you find one of those spots today...and that's where you bury your shit 500 years ago.
[12:59 PM] Mr. Silver:
Good point
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
If we're talking about Europe, the old growth forest spots are very small and scattered. Back then, they'd be pretty numerous. but if you can find a specific grove, and bury deep enough
[1:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
...preferably with your family name on it as owner...
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Most old growth forests still left are only remaining because they're inaccessible to loggers and developers, so that means they'd be inaccessible to a lot of other traffic
Yeah... "if found, return to descendants of XXXXX"
[1:01 PM] Mr. Brown:
Nobody knows where Blackbeard's treasure went
I know
lol
[1:03 PM] Mr. Silver:
Me too...it was all goods that were collected and he'd spent any cash in true pirate fashion.
How about going to meet Jacob Waltz in the Superstition Mountains and following him?
[1:04 PM] Mr. Brown:
Go back and play marco polo with Marco Polo
[1:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nnnnn...noooo
"I bet you'll forget where this mine is."
"What? That's stupid! It's a mine. How could you forget where a whole mine is?"
"Just sayin'. Tell you what. Just sign this paper giving me 20% interest if I can find it, and I'll remember where it is for you. We'll leave it at the courthouse, and if you ever lose it..."
"You're an idiot."
"But you'll never lose it, right? It's not like I'm charging you anything. Just sign here."
[1:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
HehehI'm picturing Mr. Brown going back to Berlin on april 30th 1945, "I'm here to find Hitler"*walks up to random army official* Guten tag. Vo, ist, durr, furr-err
[1:11 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hehehe
[1:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
So, I'm reading this one about Marco Polo
There is debate if he made up the trip to Chinal
China
[1:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
He definitely never made it to Chinal
[1:23 PM] Mr. Brown:
They cite things he did not mention about China that most all others that have been there have mentioned.
Like the wall
And foot binding
[1:24 PM] Mr. Silver:
The All Right Wall
[1:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
Polo says he was a frend of Kubli Khan
[1:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, be honest, he probably saw this:
You can see it from SPACE!
[1:26 PM] Mr. Brown:
They are suggesting he made it to Persia, and they had been to China a lot and wrote books. So he read books there and then wrote based on them
How about going back in time to see who Jack the Ripper actually was?
Find out it was a woman
[1:28 PM] Mr. Silver:
They were all elaborate suicides.
[1:28 PM] Mr. Brown:
Jane the Ripper
It's very possible it was a woman
They decided it was a man based on what was done and who it was done to
[1:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Perhaps the world's worst midwife?
[1:30 PM] Mr. Brown:
Perhaps it was a pimp
[1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
I wonder if anyone would talk about him anymore.
You'd come home, write a book...go on an expose show.
Point out it was some boring shlub
All the mystery gone and a whole market for the man would disappear.
[1:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
Find out it was aliens all along
Well, he does not stand up to the numbers other killers have hit nowadays
[1:34 PM] Mr. Blue:
He only killed what, 3 people? Maybe 5?
[1:35 PM] Mr. Brown:
5
That they could somewhat relate and decided were all the same guy
From stuff I heard about it, the police did a very poor job
[2:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
This is overall my favorite article of the day, BTW
[2:48 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
I hope France doesn't decide to "cancel" the Louisiana Purchase
[2:49 PM] Mr. Silver:
"We checked the books and you never paid in full."
Russia will take back Alaska
[2:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
That'd be fun
Germany cancels the Potsdam Conference border agreements...takes back 1/3rd of Poland.
I guess that's how WW2 started. kinda
Germany was like: This Versailles Treaty is uhh... non-binding... So we're gonna take it all back... plus some extra for our time."
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