[12:24 PM] Mr. Blue:
Imagine going back to the Middle Ages
You might wear something that you think is specific to the period but might be off... like off enough that someone might just up and kill you.
Maybe red is associated with some heretical religious order for that town in that period...but it doesn't show up in historical records
Maybe because even your impossibly clean skin, teeth and good health makes you stick out like a sore thumb
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Best to show up as a nobody and work up
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
Or your accent
[12:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nod
Use Latin
[12:25 PM] Mr. Blue:
I guess you could feign a speech impediment or pretend you're foreign (but you better pick the right country of origin or else)
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Dress in a mendicant friar's robe and say you are from far-friggin away
[12:26 PM] Mr. Blue:
The best bet would be to show up in a rural area and steal someone's clothes
[12:26 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes
"Ever hear of Latvia?"
"No."
"I'm from Latvia"
[12:27 PM] Mr. Blue:
"It's new"
I think teeth would be a biggie. Even average-looking teeth by today's standards would probably be like, strikingly perfect by any standards prior to 1800. I think there's a reason everybody's lips are pursed shut in old paintings
[12:34 PM] Mr. Silver:
People did pull off fake identity frauds though.
I'd probably claim to be a diplomat sent by Prester John, depending on the year.
[12:36 PM] Mr. Blue:
Foreigners weren't an uncommon thing
[12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Everyone's teeth are like that there."
[12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:
There were like monks and stuff proselytizing. There's a bunch of 600-800 year old churches in Germany named after Irish dudes that were trying to convert people
Of course, most fo them also met unpleasant ends when they ran into the wrong town or the wrong group, like this guy.
Saint Coloman of Stockerau (Irish: Colmán; Latin: Colomannus; died 18 October 1012) was an Irishsaint.
Originally known as Colmán (variously rendered Koloman, Kálmán, Colman, and Colomannus), he was an Irish pilgrim en route to the Holy Land and was mistaken for a spy because of his strange appearance. He was tortured and hanged at Stockerau, near Vienna, Austria, on 16 July 1012.
[12:40 PM] Mr. Silver:
[12:42 PM] Mr. Blue:
"rival foreskins"
[12:42 PM] Mr. Silver:
Heh
[12:42 PM] Mr. Brown:
lol
[12:43 PM] Mr. Silver:
"Given the glut of Holy Foreskins..."
[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:
Another problem – if you go back in time in order to acquire wealth and bring it to present day, nobody'd buy it because it wouldn't be aged. You'd have to hide it somewhere that nobody could find, and then come back and dig it back up
Like gold or jewels or something
A lotta mundane stuff would be pretty valuable today
But where do you put it where nobody will find it for 500 years?
I guess you'd have to find buildings that would last that long...like maybe a monastery or a castle...and try to convince someone to let you put it inside the walls
But who's gonna let you go digging into the walls of a castle nowadays to get it back?
And then a lot of buildings that purport to be very very old have technically been destroyed and rebuilt due to fires, wars, general maintenance, etc. Someone might find it anyway.
[12:54 PM] Mr. Silver:
Yes, you'd need to research that exceptionally well.
[12:55 PM] Mr. Brown:
Well, if you know where you will be living you could pick a spot in your yard that nobody will dig. If it was farm land before your screwed
LOL
[12:55 PM] Mr. Silver:
Not really. Farmers on centuries-used land dig up troves by accident relatively often these days.
On the other hand, if you went back for research instead, and found out the in-situ answers for a lot of unexplained stuff...
There's your treasure.
[12:56 PM] Mr. Blue:
Yes
[12:57 PM] Mr. Silver:
Find out where King John lost his treasure wagon in The Wash
Put a radioactive tracer in Captain Kidd's treasure
[12:59 PM] Mr. Brown:
Yeah. Be the greatest lost treasure hunter in the world
[12:59 PM] Mr. Blue:
Here's my idea..
There's not a lot of virgin old growth forest left on earth. So you find one of those spots today...and that's where you bury your shit 500 years ago.
[12:59 PM] Mr. Silver:
Good point
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
If we're talking about Europe, the old growth forest spots are very small and scattered. Back then, they'd be pretty numerous. but if you can find a specific grove, and bury deep enough
[1:00 PM] Mr. Silver:
...preferably with your family name on it as owner...
[1:00 PM] Mr. Blue:
Most old growth forests still left are only remaining because they're inaccessible to loggers and developers, so that means they'd be inaccessible to a lot of other traffic
Yeah... "if found, return to descendants of XXXXX"
[1:01 PM] Mr. Brown:
Nobody knows where Blackbeard's treasure went
I know
lol
[1:03 PM] Mr. Silver:
Me too...it was all goods that were collected and he'd spent any cash in true pirate fashion.
How about going to meet Jacob Waltz in the Superstition Mountains and following him?
[1:04 PM] Mr. Brown:
Go back and play marco polo with Marco Polo
[1:06 PM] Mr. Silver:
Nnnnn...noooo
"I bet you'll forget where this mine is."
"What? That's stupid! It's a mine. How could you forget where a whole mine is?"
"Just sayin'. Tell you what. Just sign this paper giving me 20% interest if I can find it, and I'll remember where it is for you. We'll leave it at the courthouse, and if you ever lose it..."
"You're an idiot."
"But you'll never lose it, right? It's not like I'm charging you anything. Just sign here."
[1:10 PM] Mr. Blue:
HehehI'm picturing Mr. Brown going back to Berlin on april 30th 1945, "I'm here to find Hitler"*walks up to random army official* Guten tag. Vo, ist, durr, furr-err
[1:11 PM] Mr. Silver:
Hehehe
[1:22 PM] Mr. Brown:
So, I'm reading this one about Marco Polo
There is debate if he made up the trip to Chinal
China
[1:23 PM] Mr. Silver:
He definitely never made it to Chinal
[1:23 PM] Mr. Brown:
They cite things he did not mention about China that most all others that have been there have mentioned.
Like the wall
And foot binding
[1:24 PM] Mr. Silver:
The All Right Wall
[1:24 PM] Mr. Brown:
Polo says he was a frend of Kubli Khan
[1:25 PM] Mr. Silver:
Well, be honest, he probably saw this:
You can see it from SPACE!
[1:26 PM] Mr. Brown:
They are suggesting he made it to Persia, and they had been to China a lot and wrote books. So he read books there and then wrote based on them
How about going back in time to see who Jack the Ripper actually was?
Find out it was a woman
[1:28 PM] Mr. Silver:
They were all elaborate suicides.
[1:28 PM] Mr. Brown:
Jane the Ripper
It's very possible it was a woman
They decided it was a man based on what was done and who it was done to
[1:29 PM] Mr. Silver:
Perhaps the world's worst midwife?
[1:30 PM] Mr. Brown:
Perhaps it was a pimp
[1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:
I wonder if anyone would talk about him anymore.
You'd come home, write a book...go on an expose show.
Point out it was some boring shlub
All the mystery gone and a whole market for the man would disappear.
[1:32 PM] Mr. Brown:
Find out it was aliens all along
Well, he does not stand up to the numbers other killers have hit nowadays
[1:34 PM] Mr. Blue:
He only killed what, 3 people? Maybe 5?
[1:35 PM] Mr. Brown:
5
That they could somewhat relate and decided were all the same guy
From stuff I heard about it, the police did a very poor job
[2:47 PM] Mr. Silver:
This is overall my favorite article of the day, BTW
[2:48 PM] Mr. Blue:
Heh
I hope France doesn't decide to "cancel" the Louisiana Purchase
[2:49 PM] Mr. Silver:
"We checked the books and you never paid in full."
Russia will take back Alaska
[2:51 PM] Mr. Blue:
That'd be fun
Germany cancels the Potsdam Conference border agreements...takes back 1/3rd of Poland.
I guess that's how WW2 started. kinda
Germany was like: This Versailles Treaty is uhh... non-binding... So we're gonna take it all back... plus some extra for our time."
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