(Long one...been a while - Mr. Silver)
Mr.
Silver
So...Han
Solo crashed the Millennium Airplane
Yesterday's
news was "several minor injuries"
Today
it says "serious"
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Silver
Article
itself says moderate.
Please
decide folks.
Mr.
Amethyst
"Hes
doin' alright. In fact he hopped out and started singing show tunes"
- Fox
Mr.
Silver
"Han
Crashed First"
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Blue
I
liked the meme where it showed them carting off Han Solo from the
crash cast in carbonite.
Mr.
Brown
I
was wondering if, in other countries, it would say Han Solo
crashed...like they know him by no other name.
LOL
Mr.
Amethyst
Mr.
Silver
Nice
dig at Williams :-D
I'm
telling you...Ford just wants out of Star Wars films somethin'
fierce, and he'll cripple himself to do it.
Mr.
Yellow
Well
I think it is fate they may have to kill off Han.
Mr.
Silver
(Harrison
Ford) "Don't worry, I'll hold together! Hear me baby? Hold
together."
Mr.
Blue
Maybe
he should get newer plane.
Something
post-war perhaps.
Mr.
Amethyst
Wasn't
that an old fighter?
Mr.
Blue
Yeah
WW2
Mr.
Brown
Apparently
he is a good pilot. They say he saved his own life.
Mr.
Silver
(Disney
Rep) "We've gotten you a replacement aircraft. We'd like you to
fly this model exclusively for the next few years, Mr. Ford (hands
Mickey Mouse 'ears' balloon)."
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Blue
“Selfish
Actor Saves Own Life At Cost Of Historic WW2 Plane."
Mr.
Silver
Watched
some James Bond over the weekend. That's always fun.
“Live
and Let Die”...always fun and had been saving it for Silver Jr.
since it's a long one.
And
"Die Another Day"...his first modern era one.
Mr.
Blue
I
never finished the Dalton one I started
Mr.
Silver
Poor
Dalton...
He
should have been a good Bond.
I
wanted him to be a good Bond.
He
got two terrible scripts written by 80s folks taking as many drugs as
the villains were running in both.
"Hey!
Let's make the 1st Bond who keeps it in his pants!"
????
Psssst...NObody
wants that.
Mr.
Amethyst
"Come
to bed, James"
"No
thanks....not in this movie!"
Mr.
Silver
The
feminist
movement
didn't want that.
"Well,
the no-sex thing bombed. Let's try again...Let's make up for the sex
thing by getting him fired by MI6...and then add scenes of such
gratuitous violence we get the first hard R rating in Bond history!"
Psssst...nobody
wants that either.
Mr.
Amethyst
I
like gratuitous violence....
Mr.
Silver
"Also,
absolutely nobody liked the drug-runner plot in the first Dalton
movie...let's try that again."
Mr.
Blue
Dalton
was probably the closest to Connery in terms of mixing sophistication
with truculence.
Mr.
Silver
Not
Craig?
Mr.
Amethyst
Truculence?
Mr.
Blue
“Brutishness”.
Ms.
Rose
Tequila
is just about the ONLY alcohol I won't drink. It's a long story I
won't bore you with. But the gist is that a bottle of extremely cheap
and disgusting tequila was thrown at my head (!!!) when I was much
too young to be drinking in the first place. It was aimed at me, per
se. But being in the line of fire and subsequently puking my guts out
just from the smell as turned me off tequila forever.
Ms.
Rose
(I'm
sorry for interrupting an important Bond discussion with my
ridiculousness. Will stop now.)
Mr.
Amethyst
Sounds
like my kinda party! Sounds like Yule...
Mr.
Silver
I
thought you were writing a scene from a Bond movie.
The
“Broken Bond-Girl” backstory.
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
"This
is why I sleep with random spies!"
Mr.
Silver
"Bond...James
Bond."
"Tila
Limesalt"
"You're
joking."
"Lemme
tell you my story, Mr. Bond."
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Ms.
Rose
Dad
made me watch all the old Bond movies when I was young. Imagine his
discomfort at having to explain to his only daughter (only child,
period) why the name Pussy Galore was innuendo. "Does she own
lots of cats, daddy?"
Mr.
Blue
Heheh
Ms.
Rose
"Go
ask your mother."
Mr.
Amethyst
LOL
Mr.
Silver
I
need penned in at a cabin somewhere with a computer and printer and a
couple attendants...
With
whips...
"You
working on your novel?"
"Well...see,
I thought I'd - "
(shhWACK!!!)
"I'm
writing I'm writing!!!!"
Ms.
Rose
"Doo
you zhink zis ees some kind of fffacation in zhis secluded cabin?!
WRITE! WRITE NOW, you seeeely American!" *crack*
"Vee
have vays of making you write..."
Mr.
Silver
Creativity
Nazis...yeah...that's it.
"Vee
hear you haff zecrret plans, ja? Yoo vill wrrite zem down. Vis
illuzzdrations und editted, yes?" (Slap
slap!)
"OK!
OK! I'll finish!"
Ms.
Rose
"Lack
of eeemagination iz not zee option! Penzil on da paper! NOW!"
Mr.
Silver
"I'll
need to do research, of course...I'll n-"
(riding
crop smacks on desk)
"NEIN!"
Mr.
Amethyst
Riding
crop motivation...
Mr.
Silver
You
know...as a workshop weekend event, this could rake in some serious
loot.
Different
themes...boot camp...Nazi prison...keep it fresh.
Ms.
Rose
Sign
me up to be bitchy writing Nazi #1.
Mr.
Silver
(Medieval
cardinal in red silks, holding manuscript. Hooded goons with red hot
pokers) "A mere
150 pages of novelized confession? I really don't enjoy doing this,
you know... (holds up to flaming brazier) They tell
me it took you hours
before they printed this and wiped your save file. Are you...sure?
There...isn't...more?
That you can confess?"
Mr.
Blue
Did
MST3K ever do Plan 9?
Mr.
Silver
No,
they wouldn't touch Plan 9
Rifftrax
or Cinematic Titanic might have.
Mr.
Blue
Too
bad... It's certainly more riffable than “Monster A Go Go”
Mr.
Silver
I
think that was one of the points against doing it...too easy.
Another
was that it was a cult film.
Mr.
Blue
Yeah.
It's the rare movie that's hilarious on its own.
Mr.
Silver
They
feared the cultural damage of it becoming an “MST3K movie”,
perhaps.
Mr.
Blue
Riffing
would just interrupt its own humor.
Mr.
Silver
Yup
Mr.
Blue
Like
cars changing colors, going from day to night and back to day, the
cop scratching his forehead with the barrel of his gun
The
last was my favorite part. I guess the actor did it just to see if
anyone would even notice.
Mr.
Silver
"We
are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I will
spend the rest of our lives!"
Mr.
Blue
"And
remember, future events such as these will affect you, in the
future."
Wood
basically just kind of used everything at his disposal and wrote
around what he had available.
"Well...I
got Bela, desperate for money, and this prop octopus... let's fit
that into a film somehow."
Mr.
Silver
I
appreciate his method.
Ed
just wanted to FILM, damn it!
"You
SEE? You SEE? Your stupid minds! Stupid!"
Mr.
Blue
I
mean, it probably wouldn't be much better if I had a ton of ambition
to film something.
I'd
have to use what was around me, which would probably include Paul
Gaudino and the Mars “space
ship”
Mr.
Silver
X
Mall as "Mars Station Epsilon"
Mr.
Brown
I
have a glow in the dark Jason mask
Hehe
Mr.
Silver
You're
in as our romantic lead, then!
Mr.
Brown
“I
am from planet Hockey. It is similar to your earth game, but we play
it in the dark with explosives.”
Mr.
Silver
(directing)
"Ok, Mr. Brown...go up to the Queen of the Space Hotties and
attempt to talk to her."
"Oh
my god! She's... … Is there a script? What do I say?"
"Wing
it. Rolling! Action!"
"Um...greetings
from Earth...I'm...gee that is a tight outfit. Oh God! She's totally
naked in body paint!"
"Still
rolling..."
Mr.
Blue
I
do like considering places for filming locations.
"Hmm...
this street could be pre WW2 middle America"
"This
building looks oddly futuristic"
Know
of a good place in Omaha for a futuristic setting?
Des
Moines, I mean?
Mr.
Silver
Isn't
it already?
Mr. Silver
Disney's new toy. As wonderful as they
usually are, but clearly sinister in the hands of the correct
villains.
“A
deceptively simple wristband everyone is sent after setting up your
trip online...pick what you want to do...even order meals. And
everything is not only laid out for you, but if stuff starts going
wrong it directs you to other stuff you'll like or gives you rewards
and such to make you feel better.
Send
characters your way..."win" freebies and coupons. They
could even film your experiences on the rides and in the park with
the thousands of cameras around and send you a video!”
(Me
reading) "Oh...my...God..."
"There
are all sorts of companies inquiring about the system!"
Yeah...I'll
bet there are.
Mr.
Green
If
something goes wrong, it glows blue—never red. Red lights are
forbidden at Disney, as they imply something bad happened. Nothing
bad can happen at Disney World.
Mr.
Silver
Except
collapsing from the heat and sunburn. Neither of those is blue.
Mr.
Green
Heheh
But
if they install heart/vitals monitors, they could help prevent that
too...lol
Hydrators
and lotion dispensing people who just appear.
Mr.
Silver
(Princess
Jasmine approaches with a pitcher of lemonade and cups)
"Hi!
Just passing through."
"It's
the wristband, right? Tells you we needed hydration?"
"No
NO! Just coincidence and a little magic." (secretly nods)
"Nice!"
"Dreams
come true here!"
"Good!
On that note, does the Disney magic register the kind of hots I've
always had for Princess Jasmine?"
"Uh...
... ... I'll check."
"Please
do."
Mr.
Green
LOL
Mr.
Silver
8:10
AM
"Yes
sir."
Mr.
Blue
Are
Siths a race or just a group?
Mr.
Silver
Sith
was a race, then an ideal, then an empire headed by the mystics, then
a couple wizards and their lackies.
All
the movies are in the Couple Wizards phase
The
old Sith Empire vs the Republic was finished off thousands of years
ago after a bunch of wars.
Palpatine
was the only one who succeeded in taking over everything since.
The
Jedi didn't even know there still were any Sith...and he used that.
There
were only 2
That
was "the rule"
Mr.
Brown
But
each could have students.
Mr.
Blue
My
emperor brings all the lords to the yard...
Mr.
Silver
Granted,
those 2 had all sorts of secrets from each other. It was a terribly
stupid idea.
Problem
with the Rule of Two is there wasn't much way to figure out how many
Twos there were.
"Fool!"
"Simpleton!"
"You will be destroyed for your arrogance!"
"Simpleton!"
"You will be destroyed for your arrogance!"
"Your
passions betray you!"
(chorus)
"You will learn the true power of the Sith!"
(Pause)
"Did
you say...?"
"You're
Sith too?"
Mr.
Blue
Heheh
Mr.
Silver
"You
can't be Sith! The Rule of Two!"
"I
was gonna say the same thing."
"Who
is your master?"
"Darth
Bombast."
"Don't
know him. I have Darth Uppity. His master was Darth Goob."
"Goob...Goob...I
though my great grand Darth killed him."
"Darth
Icky?"
"Yeah!"
(Chorus)
"Oooooohhhh (giggles)"
"Small
dark galaxy of hate and power, right?"
"Yeah.
Yeah. So...prepare to die?"
"Meh...
Wanna join up? What do you say we kill off the other two and rule
everything?"
"Deal!"
