Mr. Gray
Dude....I would so never live here....
“Faggs Manor Rd”
“Faggs Manor Rd”
8:55 AM Mr. Silver
Yup
That or "Gayer Dr"
"Faggs Manor Rd might be awful, but the drive you live on will always be Gayer."
There's a street around here called "LeCock St."
Mrs. Silver and I always make fun of it.
"Should we turn left at LeCock? Mais Oui!"
"You love LeCock, admit it."
"A friend of mine...she'd spend all her time on LeCock if she could."
Mr. Yellow
I heard Michelle was there and broke Cecelia's shoe?
10:02 AM Mr. Gray
Yeah the fat cow.
Stuffed herself into that same corset she's been wearing for 5 years.
That girl needs to realize she isn’t 17 anymore and is about 90lbs heavier.
If she did she might find something flattering to wear instead of...that...
10:07 AM Mr. Silver
Ugh
Corseteers who test the limits of material science and human biology do nothing for me at all.
"I'm going to stand over here in case that thing she's wearing is triggered and goes off."
10:23 AM Mr. Silver
Make a gift one with little metal pieces all over.
"Decorations?"
"Fragmentation plates...I call this corset the "Mk 2 Pineapple"."
10:31 AM Mr. Gray
Yeah, I made a comment about a corset explosion being imminent.
Mr. Gray
As long as I can afford a bottle of rum and some cheap soda....I'll survive LOL
12:44 PM Mr. Silver
Heh
12:46 PM Mr. Silver
"Excuse me, my good State Store man. I'm currently destitute from buying a house, and I was wondering if you could point me to your cheapest “low” or "spiced" flavored alcohol."
"Excellent sir. Right this way."
12:46 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
Yep
I don’t care about quality; just cheap and potent, and the cola can take away the taste. LOL
At least I'll have booze to get me through the stress if I cant afford anything else for awhile.
Mr. Brown
9:25 AM Mr. Blue
Is he really hiding self portraits under paintings as the article implies, or is he simply just painting over unfinished or junk work?
9:25 AM Mr. Brown
That's what I was wondering. He just started sketching, then said “No I want to paint a old man” so covered it up.
9:26 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah.
9:38 AM Mr. Silver
As much as I appreciate art, this kind of "high tech detective work" and "pursuit of mystery" stuff just doesn't do it for me.
9:39 AM Mr. Blue
Me either. Who cares really? They just found an outline. I guess really hardcore Rembrandt fans, but how many of them are out there?
9:39 AM Mr. Silver
Hey art-mystery guys, here's the answer: He painted what he wanted on the stuff he had. The fact he didn't paint over the final version or throw it in the trash means he liked it.
No one will ever get to see the real mystery painting as he abandoned it and didn't want anyone to see it.
(My mom is an artist. I mentioned this conversation and she said "You're right. You know that painting in the bathroom? There's another one under that. I finished it, hated it, and painted right over it." -- Mr. Silver)
9:39 AM Mr. Blue
They probably didn't throw much out back then. They didn't paint on paper; wasn't it more like a fine stretched cloth? That had to be expensive.
9:40 AM Mr. Silver
Wood...canvas...
Mona Lisa is on wood.
9:42 AM Mr. Blue
Shows what I know about art.
9:42 AM Mr. Silver
"Is the Mona Lisa a secret self-portrait of the artist himself in drag, and that's the secret behind the enigmatic smile?"
"Who gives a damn? It's a good picture."
(Me again. On consulting with my mom on the enigmatic smile, I stated "I think the reason the Mona Lisa smile is that good is because da Vinci got lucky." "That's EXACTLY why. I've been telling artists that for years." - Mr. Silver)
9:42 AM Mr. Blue
Speaking of art, the best kept secret is the Arthur M. Sackler Gallery on the Mall in DC.
Tons of really old Asian art: Japanese tapestries...Buddha statues...and it's free.
9:44 AM Mr. Silver
They should x-ray the Buddha statues to see if the artist made any mistakes, if his model was really a woman, and if he enjoyed cheese.
9:44 AM Mr. Blue
"You can see here that this blotch on Michelangelo’s masterwork is actually spaghetti sauce."
9:45 AM Mr. Silver
"The scan shows that the original halo was apparently inspired by a coffee stain left by the bottom of Michelangelo’s "#1 Artist" mug."
(expert wearing a loupe steps back from the portrait and addresses the camera)
"Yes! It's clearly coffee, and you can tell from this little dint in the stain that it wasn't left by his much smoother "I <3 Art" mug. Fascinating!"
"The mystery remains just why the artist was resting his morning beverage on such a precious surface, or the inclusion of these grease stains - analyzed as bacon fat and egg leavings - underneath the figures of Jesus and Peter. And this enigmatic scribble: 'Lunch with Febo 1:30 Tuesday'. Someday we hope new more-advanced technology can explain the artist's process."
Mr. Blue
Mr. Silver, remember that clip from Turkish ET?
12:20 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
Didn't he, like, fart out smoke and have the 20 people in the house/apartment panic and just run around and open and close doors?
12:21 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah! It was like Benny Hill!
12:21 PM Mr. Brown
lol
I can see it in my head even though I never saw it.
12:22 PM Mr. Blue
And I recall the ET having very obvious genitalia.
12:22 PM Mr. Brown
“Lifelike” LOL
12:22 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
12:22 PM Mr. Brown
He's from space but he has a man dick
12:23 PM Mr. Silver
Remind me to keep that as a Tag-Line for my "Flash Gordon: Adventures in Galaxy X" movie I'm writing.
(Warning, the following section contains unedited Mr. Brown entries – Mr. Silver)
Mr. Blue
Mr. Brown, you should write scripts. You would be no worse than Tommy Wiseau.
12:26 PM Mr. Brown
i could right some good funny movies i think
low budget
12:26 PM Mr. Blue
As long as the actors read your script verbatim.
12:26 PM Mr. Brown
or porn scripts
“They day men stared at alien boobies”
12:29 PM Mr. Silver
Million seller, a title like that, Mr. Brown
12:33 PM Mr. Brown
"The alien that grew nipples'
12:35 PM Mr. Brown
ooh oohh "War of the Giant stripper nipples"
12:36 PM Mr. Brown
When they earth wen't cold they attacked
12:38 PM Mr. Blue
"When They Earth Wen't Cold They Attacked!" - Directed by Mr. Brown.
12:38 PM Mr. Silver
The new film from Extraneous Apostrophe Films!
12:39 PM Mr. Silver
An Inappropriate Pronoun production!
Writed by Mr. Brown
12:39 PM Mr. Brown
arrg i see that now
stupid y
1:05 PM Mr. Blue
What's with you and Patrick Dempsey?
1:05 PM Mr. Brown
I don't know.
Maybe in the 80's movies I related to him, then got stuck watching any movie with him in it.
I’ve seen at least 18 movies with him in them.
1:46 PM Mr. Brown
My “man crush”
LOL
Some guys like Brad Pitt, I like Patrick. LOL
1:47 PM Mr. Blue
Some guys like Brad Pitt?
1:47 PM Mr. Silver
Some guys like women...most of us, really.
1:47 PM Mr. Blue
95% or so.
5% like Patrick Dempsey and Brad Pitt, and men.
1:52 PM Mr. Brown
I like women!
But guys always have one man crush, “movie star” wise.
That one guy who they'll watch all his movies.
1:52 PM Mr. Gray
I don’t remember this rule.
1:53 PM Mr. Silver
(Tries to think of such an actor)
1:53 PM Mr. Blue
Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Brown.
1:53 PM Mr. Brown
I like Patrick Dempsey films; I'll admit it.
But I also like Jackie Chan films, Van Damme films, Stallone films, Arnold films...
1:55 PM Mr. Gray
Notice how all the ones after Dempsey are fighting movies, to show his manliness?
1:55 PM Mr. Silver
Yep, this theory is losing me. I can't think of any male star I'd see a film of just because he was in it.
1:55 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
1:55 PM Mr. Blue
We're all pretty forward-thinking, Mr. Brown. I don't think anybody's going to judge you for being bisexual.
1:55 PM Mr. Brown
Ha ha
1:55 PM Mr. Gray
Yeah, just admit it and stop overcompensating on the movie choices.
1:56 PM Mr. Silver
He watches them for the action! And rippling muscles! And Machismo! And the tight butts! And...oh...
1:56 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
I like the fighting.
1:57 PM Mr. Gray
...and wrestling in mud...and oil....
1:57 PM Mr. Brown
The crazy faces van Damme makes.
1:57 PM Mr. Gray
The “O Face”
1:57 PM Mr. Silver
Beat me to it, Mr. Gray.
1:57 PM Mr. Gray
LOL
1:58 PM Mr. Silver
I went to both Zorro films and “The Haunting” to admire Catherine Zeta Jones. And as a secondary goal, in the case of Zorro, for the character and swordplay. I think something happened in the ghost one...not sure...I was watching Catherine move and talk.
3:00 PM Mr. Blue
This guy's name is "Ron Solo".
3:01 PM Mr. Blue
Han's less impressive older brother?
3:02 PM Mr. Blue
"My brother flew the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs. I make a pretty good pot of coffee down at the office."
I love the possibilities of this.
3:03 PM Mr. Silver
(Greedo) "Going somewhere Solo?"
"Huh?"
"Jabba put a price on your head so low that only I'd take the job."
"Look, even I lose a dog on a walking job sometimes. You think I didn't chase it?"
3:10 PM Mr. Brown
Chewblaca (sic - Mr. Silver)
We could make a whole movie about Wookies.
Nothing but a bunch of “Gloooorraaa! Garrrrrrra!” sounds throughout it.
3:11 PM Mr. Blue
They did that in the Star Wars Christmas Special. Entire scenes of Wookies talking without any context whatsoever. Probably the first clue that George Lucas is a madman.
3:12 PM Mr. Brown
I’m talking about a whole movie.
3:14 PM Mr. Silver
I love the title...great typo! It's gold!
"Chewblacka"
3:15 PM Mr. Brown
What do you see when you hear that title?
3:15 PM Mr. Silver
(singer) "Who's the Wookie private dick that's a sex machine to all the wook's?"
(girls) "CHEWBLACKA!"
"You're damned right."
"I hear Chewblacka is one hairy mutha-"
“SHUT YO MOUTH!"
"I'm just talkin' about Chewblacka!"
"We can dig it!"
3:20 PM Mr. Silver
I feel this film should feature a character in a full-body Afro.
3:20 PM Mr. Brown
Yesssss!
3:21 PM Mr. Gray
Body Afro? Now that’s frightening.
3:21 PM Mr. Blue
So you could have a body Afro, body Cornrows, body Jheri Curl?
3:21 PM Mr. Silver
It'll start in a cantina with some hicks that need a ride away from The Man.
His buddy, Solo, translates the language the hicks speak for him.
The buddy, though just tragically human, can at least talk some jive.
3:23 PM Mr. Silver
Chewblacka flies the ship through a blockade.
3:23 PM Mr. Silver
Chewblacka beats some machines at chess to show he's an intellectual, too.
3:24 PM Mr. Silver
They end up trapped in a giant battle station...They have to get some SWEET little princess ass outta trouble.
3:25 PM Mr. Silver
He goes into the jail level so smooth he wears handcuffs to throw off The Man.
3:26 PM Mr. Blue
I dig.
3:26 PM Mr. Silver
"How did you catch Chewblacka, man?"
"Yo, prisoner transfer, we never coulda caught this guy on our own."
"Shee-iiii... Lemme call that in."
3:26 PM Mr. Blue
LOL! Any space opera with "Shee-iiiii" in it is an instant gold mine!
3:27 PM Mr. Silver
Chewblacka throws off the cuffs and cold cocks some cops and opens fire! Alarms start going off - "Chewblacka's in the detention level! Chewblacka's in the detention level! All troops get on down there!"
3:27 PM Mr. Blue
The Dark Side would actually be the All White side.
3:28 PM Mr. Silver
They already are, except Darth Vader.
"Vader is the only brother workin' for the Man I can dig, man."
3:28 PM Mr. Blue
"Honkies always try'n ta keep Chewblacka down!"
3:29 PM Mr. Silver
In the end he knows the kid and princess can't win against a brother, Vader, so he turns his ship around to win the big fight for them.
3:29 PM Mr. Silver
And at the big award ceremony, what does he do? He disses the princess...doesn't even come all the way up the stairs, man!
"I don't need your F-in' dog tag, bitch...I'm Chewblacka! I'm gonna reward you...at my place."
(music, credits)
3:30 PM Mr. Blue
Wacka wicka chicka bow wow!
3:30 PM Mr. Silver
I love this project.
3:30 PM Mr. Blue
I guess Billy Dee Williams can just reprise his original role.
3:30 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
3:31 PM Mr. Silver
"Hey Chewblacka! You still hangin' out with this loser?"
3:31 PM Mr. Gray
You do realize that if you actually took the time to do a short film and put it on Youtube, it'd be a hit, right?
3:31 PM Mr. Silver
Absolutely.
3:59 PM Mr. Brown
Instead of sssssssh for the light saber turning on, you could do something cooler or funnier.
4:00 PM Mr. Silver
Yeah, I'll put that in the script as direction notes: "Do something cool or funny here."
