Saturday, April 18, 2020

600 - A Particular Set Of Retirement Skills, Un-Credible Religious Stories, and Tarpsquatch

[2:36 PM] 
So
Liam Neeson
(Mrs. Silver) "He should have never said anything."
"I already told you my theory."
"What?"
"Someone was trying to blackmail him or said they were going to release it so he was beating them at their own game."
"Oh"
"My guess anyway.  Clever as he could be about it...get it out in his version asap."
[2:43 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Just a unique way of retiring
Maybe insurance reasons
If he commits career suicide instead of announcing retirement he gets some kind of insurance money or studio bonuses
I mean, I see what he was going for
[2:45 PM] 
Interesting
I think he's actually tried the "never again" retirement before.
Maybe he sees this as the guarantee studios will stop sending him scripts
[2:47 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I think if he left out the part about marauding through a black neighborhood trying to provoke someone to attack him so he could kill them, he'd have been fine.
"Something bad happened to a friend... And these horrible, prejudiced thoughts entered my head.  I felt ashamed.  I fixed myself, and now I'm a better person."
Because that's relatable for anyone
[2:49 PM] 
Nah...they'd doubt he was Irish if he did it normally.
;)
[2:50 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[2:51 PM] 
(Bar friends sneer as he walks in)
"A real man woulda burned a buildin' down, boyo.”
A crowbar says he."
"Barkeep!  Get this little missy a water.  Not too cauld...she probly co'on’t taik it."
[3:57 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Why din ye hit'em with a tater?
[4:12 PM] 
heh
[3:19 PM]  Mr. Yellow: 
I am not sure what that was about
NM, I found the article
hmm. I really have no issue with his statement as a whole
He wanted someone to have a go at him so he could get revenge but realized how stupid that was
so people are on his sh#t about being honest about feelings he had
He was angry like we were when we decided as a country to declare war in Afghanistan and Iraq.
We wanted revenge even if innocent people got harmed
[3:32 PM] 
Oh, I would have been violently steamed too
I had my dad lecture me when I was heading out into the neighborhood with a cavalry saber to get "revenge" once
[3:38 PM]  Mr. Yellow: 
It never pays to tell too much of the truth. Sometimes we give away too much information.
Yes I wanted revenge once so bad. It was when my friend was raped.
Or like when a supervisor offered for people to go home early and I asked to go to spend time with some friends at X. I was rejected because I was going to a bar not to a family gathering. It was freeking 10pm
[3:41 PM] 
"Why yes, I'll leave early...I'd like to hit the church on the way home."
[3:47 PM]  Mr. Yellow: 
yep



[9:34 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
[9:35 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
but Jesus wasn't born in Anatolia
[9:37 AM] 
They are both depicted as having long beards”.
Amazing, huh?
Almost like shaving your beard was banned in Leviticus
[9:37 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
With upward gaze too
[9:38 AM] 
I know!
"And...get this...both are male"
[9:39 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
They both have amazing abs
The article talks more about how lame it is
lol
Like the people did no real research
[9:45 AM] 
Hate to say it, but...there's really not a whole lot that is unique about the Jesus cycle if you look at ancient and indigenous mystic stories
(See: "How to start a fight with a Baptist")
[9:49 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I mean wasn't Jesus just one of many supposed prophets even in his time and place?
Lotta guys running around claiming crazy stuff
[9:52 AM] 
I meant more general than that
Prophesy of the coming hero.  Divine conception.  Miraculous birth.  Uncanny knowledge.  Trials.  Healings.  Raising the dead.  Persecution, death, resurrection.  Trips to the underworld. 
Will return any day now.
...the long tradition of merging characters' acts or cutting and pasting from other stories...
[9:58 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
yes
[10:01 AM] 
Let us grant the man was real - I'd like to meet him - shamanically I already have. 
But a whole lot of stuff written about him just wasn't anything he did. 
People have been separating out forgeries and fiction and ID-ing embellishments for centuries.
Its why there is an Apocrypha.  And even that isn't complete at all.
"Jesus created bats when he was a kid!  He liked birds and so he took up clay and-"  Slam...right in the BS pile. 
And that edit decision came from people who thought the earth was only thousands of years old.
[10:09 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
That's from the discredited infancy gospel right?
[10:10 AM] 
Not sure...
[10:10 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I think if it were me, and I was either God or the Son of, and I was intending to convince everyone of my divinity, I'd change the color of the sky.
Or, like, literally flip colors on the spectrum... like blue goes to where yellow is and yellow to blue
[10:11 AM] 
That's the sign?
[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yes
The whole world would see it obviously
[10:12 AM] 
But...
[10:13 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I mean permanently
[10:13 AM] 
Woo!
[10:13 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Thou must remember blue did not exist for a long time
hehe
[10:14 AM] 
I remember someone in the 70s telling me the Deluge was such a surprise because it had never rained before.
Stuck with me
(obviously)
"You don't really believe that, do you?"
"It's the first time rain ever happened."
Can you imagine the known world panic if water started coming out of the sky and no one had ever seen it before?  You wouldn't even have to have destroyed the world. 
"Listen you evil pinheads...I can DO THIS!  Shape up!"
Between that and the entire surface of the planet being...well...devoid of life without it.
I kinda doubt that was the first time it rained.
"Before that, everything got it's moisture from fog."
(Genesis 2:6)
[10:16 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Must not have been any lakes or rivers then. Or clouds.
[10:20 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Maybe the definition did not exist
It was just something that happened
MOISTURE
[10:47 AM] 
"And THE LORD returned to The Garden, and did not see the man and the woman.  Why do you hide from ME? He said, and the man and woman replied we are like 10 feet away over here in this mist stuff."
[10:47 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[10:48 AM] 
"And the man asked you think You could move this somewhere else, we keep bumping into stuff."
[10:49 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
"or give us special eye powers to see through it. Yes we need special powers"
[10:53 AM] 
"And Eve smacked her shin into a tree as she ran to greet THE LORD, and the bark roughed it up badly, and Adam who was tasked with giving all things names, could only come up with She barked her shin."
"So it's his fault we still say it"
And THE LORD did roll his eyes.”



[1:42 PM] 
[1:44 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Looks like a bear
[1:44 PM] 
Looks like a fake
I'll submit it to you this way:
1. If I spotted a Bigfoot and could film it, I'd burn battery til it left.
"This guy is boring.  Let's get some coffee or something."
2. Known to be the most elusive giant hominid cryptid, this Bigfoot just stands in the open turning around in place
[1:49 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[1:49 PM] 
3. None of the others had a cell with a camera.  Back to #1. "You watch it here...I'm going to keep filming and walk up there.  If it runs, try to follow it and I'll see what I can find." 
[1:50 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Thats what i would have done
[1:50 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Looks like something blowing in the wind
Like a tarp got snagged on a tree or something
[1:51 PM] 
Tarpsquatch
"And then the wind picked up and Bigfoot started to fly!"
[1:52 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
I could hear it rustling in the night, with a light plastic smell on the air
[1:52 PM] 
"It has to be big!  Look how far away it is!"
Silver Jr. and I walk farther and steeper than that in our own neighborhood.  Go up there!
[1:54 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Running up there
getting closer and closer
Holy shit
holy shit
holy shit
Ah damn, it was a tarp
[1:55 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
It looks like something blowing around... The base seems to stay stationary but the top is swaying back and forth
[1:57 PM] 
(5 minutes after they left, a little old lady climbs up to retrieve the cover for her patio table)
[1:58 PM]  Mr. Brown: 
Damn it tarp that's not funny, you gotta stop tricking these people”