Mr. Silver's Instant Mess: 8/4/19

Saturday, August 10, 2019

555 - Drinking Like Thor, A Republican Innocent, Misery And Seafood Mama, Ripping Russian Tech

[2:52 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Mr. Silver you know Phillip from the meeting on X?

[2:58 PM]

Do I know Phillip?

Like "do I remember him from the meeting"?

[3:00 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Right

He served me a lot of Yuengling at the mystery dinner on Saturday lol

[3:00 PM]

There was a mystery dinner?

[3:00 PM] Mr. Brown.:

At (restaurant)

Sunday, August 4, 2019

554 - What Does A Killer Whale Drive?, Werewolves Suck As Badly As Vampies, (Jareth) "You Remind Me Of A Maze", Mr. Brown Does Not Get A Participation Trophy

[8:41 AM] Mr. Blue:

“Orca”

I'd remembered the movie being gross and disturbing

I guess with the whale fetus and Bo Derek getting her leg bit off i didn't like it as a kid

It's definitely a low-rent Jaws

Even the "USS Indianapolis" speech was replaced with a 10 second "my wife and child were killed by a drunk driver" spiel

But decent still

It's more believable for a killer whale to be vengeful and spiteful than a shark

I would say it's The Fog of eco-horror films... not well liked in its time and not the best of its genre, but a solid entry. A quintessential one

[8:56 AM]

"They'd dropped me off for work and I saw it...that black and white face behind the wheel...like a panda face...cute, but this was cold and damp. It just plowed into them and kept going. The monster. When they caught the orca, it's blood alcohol level was insane...Killer Whale indeed."

[9:00 AM] Mr. Blue:

"August 14th 1965, my wife and son went into the car, none came out. The whale took 'em all... anyway, they delivered the bomb."

[they're Irish]

[9:07 AM]

Orcas are pro-UK?

"And now, Shamu's rendition of The Cranberries 'Zombie'."

[9:13 AM] Mr. Blue:

Some of the special effects are good, like the burning village in the background and the orca reveling in the foreground

[9:27 AM]

Last night was "Underworld"...split up into like 3 chunks with long pauses.

Heavily flawed with minimal questioning, but still fun.

Also Kate Beckinsale in shiny skin-tight "fighting" clothes

"We've hunted the Lycans nearly to extinction over hundreds of years."

(me) "Well you seriously suck at it then."

[9:36 AM] Mr. Brown.:

It seems like they made lycans deadly to vamps in that movie

[9:37 AM]

They did in the roleplaying game too.

Not immortal but tend to beat the unliving crap out of vampires

Nice balance.

[9:38 AM] Mr. Brown.:

Have you watched the other films yet?

[9:38 AM]

Nope

[9:38 AM] Mr. Brown.:

They go into more detail with a prequel

[9:38 AM]

Lord, I hope so

[9:38 AM] Mr. Brown.:

Well, as detailed as you can get with that series

lol

[9:39 AM]

They appear to be in the same universe as Van Helsing, honestly

[9:40 AM] Mr. Brown.:

The film?

[9:40 AM]

Yes

[9:40 AM] Mr. Brown.:

Yeah, looks similar

[9:40 AM]

They use the same bloodline tale

Use the same centuries-long secret supernatural war trope

[9:40 AM] Mr. Brown.:

It's kinda a cop out, I think, starting with that blood line tale

lol

[9:40 AM]

Kate says they evolved to control the rage over the intervening centuries

[9:41 AM] Mr. Brown.:

The idea of a hybrid was cool though

However most of these stories make vamp blood toxic to lycan and lycan to vamps

[9:43 AM]

Well...Underworld does...

What others?

[9:44 AM] Mr. Brown.:

I swear i saw it in something else but can't think of what

But it is two different curses

[9:47 AM]

Depends on who you ask whether they are curses.

I made a blend for a D&D adventure back in the early 90s. When I got to writing the novel, I went back to folklore and just made the guy a were-hyena

Were-hyenas are already both

[9:48 AM] Mr. Blue:

The last vampire movie i saw that i liked was A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night

[9:48 AM]

That an Israeli one?

[9:49 AM] Mr. Blue:

Farsi

[9:49 AM]

[9:49 AM] Mr. Blue:

But filmed in LA

[9:51 AM]

Therianthropy used to be something you were born with or used magic to get.

It became a transferable disease at some point.

Maybe it was Paramount's fault...might be older.

It was "a gift" of the gods sometimes and not necessarily anything bad either.

Vampires developed over time too.

Used to be some dead relative who just "came home" and wouldn't leave. Naturally this was not to the benefit of anyone's health.

But now there's disease ones and psychic ones and incorporeal ones and non-transferable ones, and curse ones and half ones...

[2:35 PM]

A problem I have with Jackie Chan movies...

They always leave me wanting a character who can do...that...

Parkour + Improvised weapon

[2:39 PM] Mr. Yellow:

*nod*

[2:52 PM]

It's exciting on camera but a chore no one wants to go through in an RPG

[2:53 PM] Mr. Yellow:

True

[2:54 PM]

Like mazes - I've warned aspiring/new GMs many times - "Never ever EVER design a maze. They're fine to play on paper and they are exciting and mysterious on film but your players will hate you for it."

The last person i saw try it was Mr. Green

(facepalm)

(yawn)

[3:16 PM] Mr. Yellow:

It could work if you just make up everything along the way in which no way they go is wrong just encounters you set up

Roll some dice and pretend the encounters are random

[3:17 PM]

Right

That was the lesson

Don't make a literal maze.

You can pretend they are in one...

But make a map? never

It's a pain drawing regular maps sometimes.

(as players)

[3:28 PM] Mr. Yellow:

No need for a map

[3:29 PM]

Not usually.

[3:29 PM] Mr. Yellow:

Yes, I have been in maze games and I have learned what I hate about them.

It should just be like “Labyrinth” - fun around every corner.

[3:30 PM]

A dandy example

A series of encounters in an impossible-to-map “maze”.

[3:31 PM] Mr. Yellow:

yep

[3:31 PM]

Jareth's ability to freely manipulate elements of it pretty much implies that it's not really there, after a fashion

[3:31 PM] Mr. Yellow:

Hmm

Now I want to do one like that.

I may for when i am running 5th edition again

[3:32 PM]

It's like going to a park and calling all the stuff there part of a maze

Sure...i suppose if you want to map bushes and puddles and places you don't want to walk.

But you don't...you just walk around.

Jareth owned a park with a lot of walls. Just wander and enjoy.

His whole game wasn't even "get Toby back before time was up"

He clipped off an hour effortlessly.

She would have lasted as long as he wanted

He just wanted to watch Sarah - the woman he desired - struggle...the ultimate offer and decision was inevitable.

He actually tried twice.

The first was a soft sell, but he nearly had her at the masked ball too

So you want to do a Jareth Labyrinth?

[3:38 PM] Mr. Yellow:

Yeah

It may be how they make their way into the Plane of Shadows

[3:40 PM]

I look forward to hearing how you'll do it. :)

[12:43 PM] Mr. Brown.:

I hate this all-inclusive crap that is going on in the world

There is a reason Nature chose to have natural selection

[12:43 PM]

Chose?

Got an example?

[12:43 PM] Mr. Brown.:

When something is not good at its job it does not do that

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5726163/Fury-inclusive-high-school-let-join-cheerleading-team-no-matter-bad-are.html

This participation trophy bs and stuff like that

[12:44 PM]

Oh.

Some of those cheer teams are more talented than their sports teams and their only job is to make the crowd shout.

[12:49 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Yes

When they work hard and try to be the best to win competitions

You would not include those bad ones in competition

[12:50 PM]

Well...that's not a goal anywhere they take anyone who wants to participate.

[12:54 PM] Mr. Brown.:

If my kid did a good job but lost, that is learning experience

They don't need a trophy for being there

Its like training a dog if they kinda did the trick and you give them a treat we just taught it to always expect a treat for half-assed work

[12:55 PM]

That's actually exactly how that doesn't work

[1:00 PM] Mr. Brown.:

I know what peoples thoughts on this are. They are thinking they are making things better by including all kids. Nothing to make fun of and such.

But there is a better way to teach tolerance

Sorry you can't do this thing. Well let's find out what you can do well

[1:04 PM]

You could make an intensive effort to find out what the kids are talented at before they try anything, for instance.

[1:06 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Right

And if a kid really likes something that they are not good at then explain to them you need to work hard and get better, then you can do it.

[1:06 PM]

Unless they are not capable and all that effort will never make them competitive.

[1:06 PM] Mr. Brown.:

if i just let you on the team you're not learning anything

[1:08 PM]

I can assure you they know they are no good at it. They want to try things and belong in a group.

[1:10 PM] Mr. Brown.:

You should never fully turn a kid away but don't reward them for being bad at something

cause they won't get better that way

[1:12 PM]

Clearly you haven't spent enough time with the Scouts yet.

553 - NASA Lacks The Gumption To Land On Venus, Modern Love, "The Referee Has Ejected The Romainian Captain On A Match Penalty For Insert-Sticking!",

[8:05 AM]

Failed to finish "First Spaceship on Venus" but started too late.

Amazing the laissez faire attitudes major spacefaring operations have in movies vs the real world.

[8:08 AM] Mr. Blue:

i know I've seen that

[8:17 AM]

They started having radio contact problems through open space to the Moon because of interference from Venus fairly early in the trip and kept going.

By day 21, with a week to go, they'd lost all contact.

"Should we turn around?"

Everyone votes to go on.

Meanwhile...in reality...

(CNN showing newest spaceship on the pad...news voice) "And we're receiving a last minute decision here, viewers...just a moment. And NASA has decided to scrub the launch because it's 1 degree too cold and they don't like that cloud over there that kinda looks like a duck."

[8:33 AM] Mr. Blue:

A rescue mission?

[8:56 AM]

No...NASA in the real world taking no chances at all vs movie experts saying "What's that? We'll basically be lost in space at least 2-3 weeks? Go for it!"

(icing...they translated the alien message just before losing final contact and it said Venus was coming to wipe out the Earth)

[8:58 AM] Mr. Blue:

[9:03 AM]

But the message was from a ship that crashed in 1908 (Tunguska), and this is the far future in the 1980s

(scientist) "We have no idea what their timetable might be like."

80 years from a scouting mission...so far? I'm thinkin' it's scrubbed, folks.

[3:45 PM] Mr. Blue:

This client just said his wife is out with her boyfriend

[3:45 PM] Mr. Brown.:

open marriage

lol

[3:45 PM]

Relationships are changing...

[3:45 PM] Mr. Blue:

he sounds like an old guy

[3:46 PM] Mr. Brown.:

sometimes old people say that about close friends

lol

[3:46 PM]

"HAHAHA! I mean the dog! I call her dog her boyfriend!"

(modern youth) "...so...is it really her boyfriend, or...?"

[3:47 PM] Mr. Blue:

yeah i think the wife just might be out with a friend

he's jokingly now saying that she might not come back

[2:23 PM] Mr. Brown.:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5715083/Putin-scores-FIVE-times-ice-hockey-match-Olympic-champions.html

that's the player the Penguins need

lol

[2:27 PM] Mr. Blue:

they always let him score a bunch

The videos make Putin look... okay

You can tell he started playing at a young age

but you can also tell he doesn't play regularly and he's a creaky old guy

[2:27 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Yep

If i was the leader and i really liked hockey, i would make them play for real

and if they don't then i would kill them

lol

[2:34 PM] Mr. Blue:

harsh but fair

[note to self: never vote for Mr. Brown]

[2:34 PM]

Vlad Tepes Hockey

"Great game! I scored a lot! ... Impale them all for cheating to let me win."

[2:35 PM] Mr. Blue:

impaled on hockey sticks, no doubt

hmm.. wonder if there's ever been a Romanian NHLer

I do not think so

Back on Vlad.. i question the historicity of the forest of the impaled

It woulda been insanely time consuming and even costly to rig up so many pikes

[3:10 PM]

yes, that's a lotta posts

[3:10 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Probably closer to a field worth

[3:10 PM] Mr. Blue:

There seems little doubt he did it but... 20,000?

Maybe he just lined a road with a few dozen or hundred

[3:11 PM]

Put on new ones over a week? Or stacked riders?

Maybe that's where "Shish KeBab Field" got it's name over there.

(Vlad) "For God's sake...put a melon or something between each body for variety."

[3:11 PM] Mr. Blue:

Or maybe to make it easier the "forest" was pre-prepared... like they were felling trees already to build stuff and he just said "make the stumps pointy and about yay high, i have an idea for later."

But is there any archaeological evidence? You'd think there would be. Nobody is going to dismantle 20,000 impaled bodies. You're just going to leave that as is.

But each impaled person would need a couple people to impale each one... a certain amount of time to impale the person correctly, and a hole deep enough to hold the pike

[3:13 PM]

"Run as fast as you can towards the point, please."

[3:13 PM] Mr. Blue:

All we know of Vlad was written by his enemies so they could've exaggerated or fabricated all of it

Apparently it was mostly done longitudinally (through the anus) which would also involve pulling their legs apart first

possibly with horses?

[3:16 PM] Mr. Brown.:

If you beat them up first you can sit them on a pike

[3:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

If they're not up in the air it's not a "forest" though

It's not an auditorium of the impaled

I think it'd take 2-3 people at least an hour or two to impale 1 person

[3:18 PM]

You could, as noted, reuse the posts. You can also reuse the post holes.

That's what I'd look for

[3:18 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Also does not have to be live people - just put your dead enemies on the posts

[3:18 PM]

Lay e'm on a cart...drive 'er in...Tip it up...drops about a foot...

Move to the next slot.

[3:18 PM] Mr. Blue:

yes

[3:19 PM]

About 4-5 mins per, not counting several minutes with an auger and chopping, cleaning and moving suitable saplings. Romania has a couple tall straight species. An impressive display could be done.

[3:19 PM] Mr. Blue:

it would've definitely been an undertaking.

I guess i'm picturing thick spears that need thick holes dug

It coulda just been poles

i *want* to believe it's real

it kicks ass

[3:21 PM] Mr. Brown.:

True needs to be just big enough to fit in the anus and support weight

lol

[3:22 PM]

Pft...didn't need to FIT at all.

[3:22 PM] Mr. Blue:

Can't be too narrow cuz they'll just slide down it to the ground

Can't be too thick or they won't slide at all

Gotta support their weight

[3:24 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Small at top to big at bottom

[3:25 PM] Mr. Blue:

Yes

[3:26 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Pictures of it show just sticking them on a post, no special way

[3:26 PM] Mr. Blue:

Those pictures were probably made after his death though, and they were commissioned by the people that hated him, probably just based on 2nd or 3rd hand word of mouth

The pictures are woodcuts from Germany commissioned by Transylvanian Saxons, who hated Vlad

[3:26 PM]

As far as struggle, I imagine it ended with passing out for most of them and some just had cardiac arrest before they even started started tilting up

[3:27 PM] Mr. Brown.:

Just the head on a pike

that was something

could do a lot of those

[3:28 PM] Mr. Blue:

yeah

gibbets seemed popular

many cities still have them hanging around (but nobody in 'em)

[3:29 PM]

Pity...

I like the wheel one...

Not crushed under... Up on top of.

[3:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

breaking wheel?

[3:29 PM]

Riding a rail sounds awful

I'll find a pic of the wheel one.

Hear we are... Flayed, boiled and broken on a wheel

http://www.allthingscrimeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/cath3.jpg

http://allthingscrimeblog.com/2014/04/12/flayed-boiled-and-broken-on-the-wheel/

So creative.

Pooh pooh to mere Impaling.

ANYone can put a fellow on a plain old STICK

[3:33 PM] Mr. Blue:

How about flaying, boiling and braking someone on a wheel and then attaching that wheel to the carts of your army brigade as you march into Ottoman territory

[3:33 PM]

Ohhhh

Icing

nice

[8:12 AM] Mr. Blue:

Red Sonja last night. About what i remembered

It's fun

[8:16 AM]

Yes it is fun.

The Conan who isn't Conan Movie

Were you here when we were talking about it before?

[8:25 AM] Mr. Blue:

Yeah

[8:27 AM]

"I can't kill it!"

That must have been a traumatic thing for Not-Conan, really.

"I don't understand! I can kill anything and this won't die! (angst)"

[8:29 AM] Mr. Blue:

"How do you know?"

"It won't bleed!"

[8:31 AM]

(race memory...2000 generations forward to Central America)

(Major “Dutch (Genus Conan)” Schaefer) "If...it bleeds...we...can kill it."

"What?"

"If it bleeds we can kill it."