Sunday, August 4, 2019

553 - NASA Lacks The Gumption To Land On Venus, Modern Love, "The Referee Has Ejected The Romainian Captain On A Match Penalty For Insert-Sticking!",

[8:05 AM] 
Failed to finish "First Spaceship on Venus" but started too late.
Amazing the laissez faire attitudes major spacefaring operations have in movies vs the real world.
[8:08 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
i know I've seen that
[8:17 AM] 
They started having radio contact problems through open space to the Moon because of interference from Venus fairly early in the trip and kept going. 
By day 21, with a week to go, they'd lost all contact. 
"Should we turn around?" 
Everyone votes to go on.
Meanwhile...in reality...
(CNN showing newest spaceship on the pad...news voice) "And we're receiving a last minute decision here, viewers...just a moment. And NASA has decided to scrub the launch because it's 1 degree too cold and they don't like that cloud over there that kinda looks like a duck."
[8:33 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
A rescue mission?
[8:56 AM] 
No...NASA in the real world taking no chances at all vs movie experts saying "What's that?  We'll basically be lost in space at least 2-3 weeks?  Go for it!" 
(icing...they translated the alien message just before losing final contact and it said Venus was coming to wipe out the Earth)
[8:58 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
ah
[9:03 AM] 
But the message was from a ship that crashed in 1908 (Tunguska), and this is the far future in the 1980s
(scientist) "We have no idea what their timetable might be like." 
80 years from a scouting mission...so far? I'm thinkin' it's scrubbed, folks.



[3:45 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
This client just said his wife is out with her boyfriend
[3:45 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
open marriage
lol
[3:45 PM] 
Relationships are changing...
[3:45 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
he sounds like an old guy
[3:46 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
sometimes old people say that about close friends
lol
[3:46 PM] 
"HAHAHA!  I mean the dog!  I call her dog her boyfriend!"
(modern youth) "...so...is it really her boyfriend, or...?"
[3:47 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yeah i think the wife just might be out with a friend
he's jokingly now saying that she might not come back



[2:23 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
that's the player the Penguins need
lol
[2:27 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
they always let him score a bunch
The videos make Putin look... okay
You can tell he started playing at a young age
but you can also tell he doesn't play regularly and he's a creaky old guy
[2:27 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Yep
If i was the leader and i really liked hockey, i would make them play for real
and if they don't then i would kill them
lol
[2:34 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
harsh but fair
[note to self: never vote for Mr. Brown]
[2:34 PM] 
Vlad Tepes Hockey
"Great game!  I scored a lot!  ... Impale them all for cheating to let me win."
[2:35 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
impaled on hockey sticks, no doubt
hmm.. wonder if there's ever been a Romanian NHLer
I do not think so
Back on Vlad.. i question the historicity of the forest of the impaled
It woulda been insanely time consuming and even costly to rig up so many pikes
[3:10 PM] 
yes, that's a lotta posts
[3:10 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Probably closer to a field worth
[3:10 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
There seems little doubt he did it but... 20,000?
Maybe he just lined a road with a few dozen or hundred
[3:11 PM] 
Put on new ones over a week? Or stacked riders?
Maybe that's where "Shish KeBab Field" got it's name over there.
(Vlad) "For God's sake...put a melon or something between each body for variety."
[3:11 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Or maybe to make it easier the "forest" was pre-prepared... like they were felling trees already to build stuff and he just said "make the stumps pointy and about yay high, i have an idea for later."
But is there any archaeological evidence?  You'd think there would be. Nobody is going to dismantle 20,000 impaled bodies. You're just going to leave that as is.
But each impaled person would need a couple people to impale each one... a certain amount of time to impale the person correctly, and a hole deep enough to hold the pike
[3:13 PM] 
"Run as fast as you can towards the point, please."
[3:13 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
All we know of Vlad was written by his enemies so they could've exaggerated or fabricated all of it
Apparently it was mostly done longitudinally (through the anus) which would also involve pulling their legs apart first
possibly with horses?
[3:16 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
If you beat them up first you can sit them on a pike
[3:17 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
If they're not up in the air it's not a "forest" though
It's not an auditorium of the impaled
I think it'd take 2-3 people at least an hour or two to impale 1 person
[3:18 PM] 
You could, as noted, reuse the posts.  You can also reuse the post holes. 
That's what I'd look for
[3:18 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Also does not have to be live people - just put your dead enemies on the posts
[3:18 PM] 
Lay e'm on a cart...drive 'er in...Tip it up...drops about a foot...
Move to the next slot.
[3:18 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yes
[3:19 PM] 
About 4-5 mins per, not counting several minutes with an auger and chopping, cleaning and moving suitable saplings. Romania has a couple tall straight species. An impressive display could be done.
[3:19 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
it would've definitely been an undertaking.
I guess i'm picturing thick spears that need thick holes dug
It coulda just been poles
i *want* to believe it's real
it kicks ass
[3:21 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
True needs to be just big enough to fit in the anus and support weight
lol
[3:22 PM] 
Pft...didn't need to FIT at all.
[3:22 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Can't be too narrow cuz they'll just slide down it to the ground
Can't be too thick or they won't slide at all
Gotta support their weight
[3:24 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
ah
Small at top to big at bottom
[3:25 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yes
[3:26 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Pictures of it show just sticking them on a post, no special way
[3:26 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Those pictures were probably made after his death though, and they were commissioned by the people that hated him, probably just based on 2nd or 3rd hand word of mouth
The pictures are woodcuts from Germany commissioned by Transylvanian Saxons, who hated Vlad
[3:26 PM] 
As far as struggle, I imagine it ended with passing out for most of them and some just had cardiac arrest before they even started started tilting up
[3:27 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Just the head on a pike
that was something
could do a lot of those
[3:28 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yeah
gibbets seemed popular
many cities still have them hanging around (but nobody in 'em)
[3:29 PM] 
Pity...
I like the wheel one...
Not crushed under... Up on top of. 
[3:29 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
breaking wheel?
[3:29 PM] 
Riding a rail sounds awful
I'll find a pic of the wheel one.
Hear we are... Flayed, boiled and broken on a wheel
--
So creative.
Pooh pooh to mere Impaling.
ANYone can put a fellow on a plain old STICK
[3:33 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
How about flaying, boiling and braking someone on a wheel and then attaching that wheel to the carts of your army brigade as you march into Ottoman territory
[3:33 PM] 
Ohhhh
Icing
nice



[8:12 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Red Sonja last night.  About what i remembered
It's fun
[8:16 AM] 
Yes it is fun.
The Conan who isn't Conan Movie
Were you here when we were talking about it before?
[8:25 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yeah
[8:27 AM] 
"I can't kill it!"
That must have been a traumatic thing for Not-Conan, really.
"I don't understand! I can kill anything and this won't die! (angst)"
[8:29 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
"How do you know?"
"It won't bleed!"
[8:31 AM] 
(race memory...2000 generations forward to Central America)
(Major “Dutch (Genus Conan)” Schaefer) "If...it bleeds...we...can kill it."
"What?"
"If it bleeds we can kill it."

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