Monday, March 10, 2014

Day 284 - Actually I Changed My Mind About Them Meeting In The Desert, Aliens Are Less Green Than We've Been Led To Believe, The Michael Bay Look Is Nothing New, Total Bore Hole, Glenn To Be Frey'd When He Gets Home, Lohan Fears Naked Photos May Not Be Leaked, and "Fun-Because-I-Don't-Know-Them Facts"

Mr. Amethyst
7:47 AM Mr. Silver
My favorite part of the article?
"film critic Drew McWeeny"
7:55 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
I didn’t even see that.
It’s a good movie; I liked it at least. Mrs. Amethyst did too, but I can see where some of the reviews hit the mark: it’s kind of slow, then FAST then slow.
Then BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!! BLOOD!!!  ...”REWIND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  End.
7:59 AM Mr. Silver
I’m only partway through the page after a quick skim.
8:07 AM Mr. Brown
I decided not to watch it.
8:07 AM Mr. Silver
Wait… "The exchange is set to occur in the middle of the desert, with snipers from both sides prepared to fire."
8:08 AM Mr. Silver
Those set ups always go SO well.
(Scumbag #1 on the phone): "The exchange will take place miles out in the middle of nowhere with a lot of open space and easy locations to pre-conceal a lot of gunmen and abandon bodies just in case everything goes horribly wrong and anywhere from half to all of us end up dead or mortally wounded with no chance of medical assistance."
(Scumbag #2): "Actually, I suggest the exchange take place calmly and quietly - surrounded by hundreds of people, guards and cameras - at the airport, after everyone goes through security so that all the guns and crap we both would otherwise try to sneak into the meeting would have to go through a metal detector, screening, possible body searches, and there will be tons of footage if someone decides to be a double-crossing asshole. That way, we both get what we’re promising each other and none of either gang bleeds out in the middle of a stupid desert like morons."
(Scumbag #1): "Oh... Yeah! That’s a lot better! It's a deal."



Mr. Brown
I watched some of this video
11:33 AM Mr. Silver
He said aliens have 'been visiting our planet for thousands of years' and are rather unimpressed with how we live.
Me too.
11:33 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah, same.
Why would they live here if they had the choice of any planet in any galaxy?
"working for the government in Nevada" for what, the benefits?
11:39 AM Mr. Silver
Why did anyone from Europe move to Africa?
Or worse, Australia.
We dumped convicts there to die.
11:40 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:41 AM Mr. Blue
We've been moving out of Africa for millennia.
Even early hominids were like "This place is a dump."
11:41 AM Mr. Silver
Not the euro-colonial movement.
11:41 AM Mr. Blue
Well, because of resources and people that could be exploited.
11:41 AM Mr. Silver
And...there you go.
Who knows...maybe there's a bunch of alien convicts here too.
11:42 AM Mr. Blue
If these aliens are so noble as to want/have no wars or fighting or military, why are they exploiting us?
Could be some fugitives.
11:42 AM Mr. Silver
Depending on which tinfoil hat you ask, there are alien wars aplenty going on.
11:47 AM Mr. Silver
But really, if they are so PO'd about our environmental stuff, they either are no better at fixing it than we are, or they just suck as people.
"We could tell you how to fix your environment and terraform this place to a Gaia world...but nah...you pollute.”
11:49 AM Mr. Brown
Here is a question: Why are they coming here and then being PO'd about it?
They probably messed up their own planets and expected to find another planet with a species on it that did a better job taking care of it and ended up not finding one. They won't share tech because the planet they wanted doesn't exist and they're just bitter.
LOL
11:52 AM Mr. Blue
Heh, yeah.
11:54 AM Mr. Brown
They get to Earth “Ah shit, they messed theirs up too.”
“Hey! Get your act together so we can take your planet and mess it up like our last one!”
All I could think of on the nuke part was the aliens thinking “Oh shit! We need to tell them to get rid of those, because if we try to take over they will blow our asses up!”
12:03 PM Mr. Brown
So, he says the Greys gave us Kevlar.
12:04 PM Mr. Amethyst
Which makes no sense since they want us to stop killing each other right?
"Lets give them body armor. Maybe they'll stop developing armor penetrating rounds."
12:09 PM Mr. Blue
Kevlar started as a material used in racing tires.
Maybe the aliens have a need for speed.
12:09 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
F1 racers of the solar system
12:11 PM Mr. Blue
Most inventions credited to alien tech (like Velcro and Kevlar) don't seem like huge leaps on our current tech. Frankly, I don't know why it took so long to come up with Velcro. Anybody that's walked through the woods could've figured it out.
12:12 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
12:13 PM Mr. Blue
Kind of like the "invention" of gun powder... Kudos to the Chinese, but someone else would've figured that one out eventually.
If the Chinese hadn't invented gun powder, it's not likely we'd still be fighting wars with bow and arrows.
12:15 PM Mr. Blue
The "first" probably ended up blowing up his own face and the guy watching at a safe distance took all the credit.
1:03 PM Mr. Silver
Well...coal and sulfur are already magic because they burn.
And potassium nitrate can be gotten in all kinds of ways...mostly common dirty stuff lying all over the place.
1:04 PM Mr. Silver
All it would take is a Chinese alchemist trying to burn the two on an alchemical dung-bed and 'foof'!
"Hmmm...nice smoke puff.  Maybe if I grind them fine and...'Fwoof'!"
1:06 PM Mr. Amethyst
"MY EYEBROWS!"
1:06 PM Mr. Silver
“It looks like its reacting with this white crystal stuff...(scrape in)... 'BWOOF!' Hot DAMN! I need to call General Bu! This stuff would be perfect...for entertaining him on his birthday!”



1:06 PM Mr. Blue
Michael Bay looks like what you'd expect him to look like if you just watched his movies:
cheesy and stuck in the 80s.
1:08 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
1:09 PM Mr. Brown
Going for that Michael Bolton look.
1:10 PM Mr. Blue
“MacGyver called: He wants his hair back. And also for you to stop making movies.”
1:15 PM Mr. Silver
Tonight's guest star on Miami Vice...Michael Bay.
1:16 PM Mr. Brown
He is constantly waiting for a fan to blow his hair.
1:41 PM Mr. Silver
"Tonight on The Hardy Boys Nancy Drew Mysteries: The Case of Michael Bay's 'Look'." 
Looks about like my look too, honestly...except the collars, jackets, and attractiveness.
1:43 PM Mr. Blue
What was up with collars in the 70s?
Perhaps to match the hair and leg openings.
"No no no, I want my proportions to be cartoonish!"



10:02 AM Mr. Silver
The Kola Superdeep Bore has been dwarfed...DWARFED, I SAY...by two others that are .7% and 1.2% deeper!  DWARFED!
10:13 AM Mr. Blue
Isn’t the crust only about 10 miles thick?
If they breach that, don't they have a volcano on their hands?
10:13 AM Mr. Silver
This article is turning out to be a fun read simply from the abundance of the word “Hole”.
If there's a magma pocket underneath, it'd be a problem, yes.
“I later learned that blind people can ‘hear’ thunderstorms because the low frequency can be sensed in the body,” she adds. “Perhaps this is what is going on.”
Or, perhaps blind people aren't deaf.
10:17 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
10:20 AM Mr. Brown
You would think a small child could hear those frequencies because they have not damaged their hearing yet.  Over time you are able to hear fewer frequencies.
I can still partially hear a dog whistle.
LOL
10:21 AM Mr. Blue
So tie a kid to a tether and send him down into the hole.
"What do you hear Johnny?  Stop crying!"
10:22 AM Mr. Brown
lol
10:27 AM Mr. Blue
"What’s that Lassie?  Johnny’s stuck in a well?  Where is it?  Sakhalin Island?  How deep is it?  10 miles?"
10:25 AM Mr. Silver
"Any response from the kid recently?" 
"Well, after the screaming and groans stopped, it was quiet for another couple 1000 feet, and now we're just getting this bacon-sizzling type noise." 
11:03 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah what's the temp down there?
Probably cold for a couple miles then increasingly hotter.
11:06 AM Mr. Silver
No, starts getting warm pretty fast, +1 degree every 70', generally.



Mr. Blue
Glenn Frey spotted purchasing BBW magazine.
Mr. Silver
"The Heat is on Glenn Frey (At Home)"
12:22 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
12:23 PM Mr. Blue
There was an obscure SNL skit with Will Ferrell as Glenn Frey and Ben Stiller as a womanizer who tries to "land" Glenn Frey in 3 sentences or less at a bar.
12:24 PM Mr. Silver
Weird.
I take it Stiller won.
12:25 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah, then regretted sleeping with Glenn Frey.
12:25 PM Mr. Silver
Hehehe
12:27 PM Mr. Brown
Wait.  Which Glenn Frey?
12:27 PM Mr. Blue
From the Eagles.
12:27 PM Mr. Brown
Ok
12:28 PM Mr. Blue
Not Glen Frey, shoe salesman from Oshkosh Wisconsin.
12:28 PM Mr. Silver
Nor Glenn Fry, prisoner 456730 at Leavenworth.
12:46 PM Mr. Silver
Somewhere out there, hundreds of Glenn Frey fans are scrambling to figure out what magazine he bought so they can get a copy of "Frey's Magazine".
Somewhere out there, hundreds of Glenn Frey fans, successful at acquiring the magazine, will cease to be Glenn Frey fans with comments like "Eww."
And "He's into this?"
And even "This is SO much better than his music.  I think I have a new hobby."



Mr. Silver
Sure, Lindsey...sure...  "Stressed Lindsey Lohan smokes amid fears naked photos from stolen computer could be leaked in extortion plot."
3:47 PM Mr. Brown
She stole it from herself.
3:48 PM Mr. Blue
She was already nude in that The Canyons flick, plus other photo shoots, so we've already seen it.
3:48 PM Mr. Silver
Was it “stolen” by someone hired by your publicist when you left it where he told you to put it?  Were the pictures the best 20 of the 200 you had taken?
I've not see “The Canyons”, or Lohan starkers.
Should I have?
3:49 PM Mr. Blue
Nah.
She has weird nipples.
They are the same color as the rest of her flesh...almost invisible.
The breasts do appear real though.
She’s too freckly, too.
3:51 PM Mr. Silver
A weird coloration, yeah...you don't see that much.  What was it I watched..."Hot Dog: The Movie" or some other 80s ski thing?
The "babe" character was a blonde who was an even-skin-color-all-over like that.
It kind of creeped me out, and I was young, hormonal, and sneaking the movie late at night...so I was up for any goodies.
"All right!  Hot tub scene!  She's awes-... ... kind of…made out of white plastic...ewww."
She needed to eat a sandwich too, as I recall.  Too ribby.
3:58 PM Mr. Blue
It kind of makes you wonder how celebs with bad nipples get to where they are.
I mean don't they screen that stuff?
3:58 PM Mr. Brown
Apparently not.



Mr. Brown
Fun fact: MJF was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
LOL
1:18 PM Mr. Silver
Are you reading ancient news now?
1:23 PM Mr. Blue
That was on the Golden Globes broadcast last night.
"Fun facts" at the bottom of the screen, and that was one of them.
"Fun fact: Michael J Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1991"
1:31 PM Mr. Silver
“Fun For Everyone But Michael J Fox Facts”
1:31 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah… Seems like an innocent unintentional gaffe.
Perhaps "interesting" or "noteworthy" facts would have been more appropriate.
1:33 PM Mr. Amethyst
Yeah, just poorly worded.
1:41 PM Mr. Silver
"Fun Fact: Mariska Hargitay's mom, Jayne Mansfield, was not decapitated as commonly believed, but only partially decapitated!"
1:47 PM Mr. Silver
(Zoom in on Mariska in audience, hiding face in hands)
1:49 PM Mr. Blue
"Scalped, more or less!"
1:53 PM Mr. Silver
"Just a little off the top, please!  And now, to present the award for Best Comedy Screenplay..."
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