Wednesday, January 1, 2020

582 - Is It Really Robbery If You Stole It To Put It Back?, and Turns Out We've Been Having Annual Bigfoot Festivals For Millennia

[12:17 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I'm guessing most hidden pirate treasure was plundered before all the pirates that knew about it even died
Either by the pirates or their friends or someone they sold the info to
[12:43 PM] 
I know I wouldn't have left it sitting
Oak Island was probably emptied for the most part in the early 1700s
[12:46 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
i remember reading how when they "discovered" the tombs in the pyramids and there was nothing left except the gear the looters left behind, which itself had become historically significant
[12:51 PM] 
I always found that interesting for a different reason.
[12:59 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
What's that?
[1:39 PM] 
Considering what it takes to get in to most of those places...and the really major ones having their own priesthoods and funerary temples and basically towns of devotees.
How many of those impregnable piles were emptied before they were even sealed up?
[1:40 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
yes
[1:40 PM] 
"Leave some mallets and chisels around."
Those granite drop walls alone. You'd basically have to chip through them without anyone noticing for...weeks?
Months?
With copper tools?
In the dark?
Breathing old carbon dioxide air, or with a lamp breathing carbon monoxide?
There are either side doors no one ever found or talked about
Or all that stuff was paraded around for show.
And the latter is the 99.99% more likely option since we've found no side doors.
Either the treasure never went in at all, or was brought right on back out after the official witnesses were satisfied.
We never find any un-looted tombs because the priests were recycling it
[1:55 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
That would be interesting
And they could claim the gods are rewarding them with the loot
[1:56 PM] 
"The Pharaoh is dead.  Get out the ol' "eternity loot" kit."
Or
“Ok, show is over, mourners are gone.  Get it all back out.”
"What if someone goes to look?  What if we get caught?"
"Like if the family breaks in to check? Leave some mallets and chisels around."
Oh, I don't think the priests were stealing the stuff to keep
Being exceptionally intelligent people with a magical point of view, I'm guessing they knew full well the drawings on the walls were more than enough to satisfy the soul's needs in the afterlife
...because they would be...
So make it look like they were robbed, put the stuff back in storage or circulation, or give the materials to artisans to make new stuff, and the palace isn't suddenly poor every time some pharaoh dies.
Gold wasn't even valuable to them, if I recall correctly.
Not the same way
Was Tut's tomb a mistake?
Reports were that it was partially looted
Why partially?
Did some young go-getter acolyte close up the inner chamber before they could stop him? 
[2:30 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Maybe the tradition was somehow lost temporarily
Something close-guarded Tut and his handlers weren't aware of it
[2:36 PM] 
Check out that haul that the tomb robbers missed out on! Wow!
[2:40 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
"tunnels built by looters"
[2:41 PM] 
Ever see "L.A. Story"?
[2:41 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
no
[2:41 PM] 
There was a scene of people going out for the night queued up at an ATM to get cash.  There was a second queue. 
"Good evening, I'll be your mugger for the evening."
"Oh hi!  Just a moment."
"Take your time sir." 
"Here you go." 
"Thank you sir.  Have a nice night."
"You too!"
I'm just picturing the line of treasure bearers and the second line of tomb robbers
"Ok, everything is packed in!"
"Thanks your Eminence.  Ra bless you."
"No problem.  (winks, whispers) Best stuff not on the "return" list is on the left."
(winks back, looks around at line furtively) "Great...see you next burial, eh?"
[2:56 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heheh



[8:15 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
morning
[8:22 AM] 
(reads)
I pronounced it right...nice
“Bulgaria is very rural; it has a weird, quirky, post-Soviet charm,” Klein says. (Although socialist Bulgaria was a primary ally of the U.S.S.R., it was never a Soviet state itself.) “The people are incredibly friendly...because it was never a Soviet state.”
[8:29 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
so Soviet State folks are unfriendly?
[8:29 AM] 
heh
I added the zinger at the end
[8:30 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
ahhh
Bulgaria is weird... one of those tug-of-war regions that were constantly fought over by Turks, Austro-Hungarians, soviets
[8:30 AM] 
“You dressed up for the festival?"
"What festival?"
[8:30 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
lol
"dress for the job you want."
[8:31 AM] 
17 and 18 are great!
I wonder about "Time Bandits" looking at some of these
[8:33 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
ah yeah
to me they remind me of Ewoks
They probably would've fared better against the Ottomans if they posted the Kukeri with the 6 foot heads at their borders
[8:38 AM] 
heh
"We got 10 head shots on it, we swear sir, and it kept charging!"
hmmm
Where's Mr. Brown when you need him...There's a thing going on in my head he'd like.
sec
Anthropology...folklore...something is starting to click...
Why bells, and why so frequently a stick?
Look at the bells they use. 
Totally impractical. 
No farm animal could wear them and they are a huge waste of metal
...Next...
Bells are not intrinsically scary...like...ever.
I mean unless it's a ghost sound in your house.  Even the Tinkerbell dings in my house didn't spook Mrs. Silver and she can be an easy spook.
There's easier, less labor and material expensive, noisemakers to make
Why bells?
...Switch direction...
These bogeys are supposed to be scary, to fend off the demons of the world. 
These bogeys are deep seated in nature, and have become associated with vitality.
Proposition:
They've been bastardized over the centuries, but these costumes look and sound as close as traditional people could make them “accurately” look and sound....
Big, hairy, club-wielding forces of nature who are easiest seen in the winter and can make clunking noises. 
They're Eurasian giants and people have been talking about them, drawing them, and having festivals starring them thousands of years.
[9:23 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
And they eat spam
[9:23 AM] 
Well it's tasty
[9:23 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
spam spam spam eggs and spam
[9:26 AM] 
I didn't think about the bells thing til this morning with Mrs. Silver talking about the metal clunking before the roar in North Carolina, and me telling a Bigfoot researcher about it and him saying the metal clunks are starting to come out in the reports as a noise witnesses heard but didn't associate with their encounter.
[9:38 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
Wild Men
That been a thing in Native American culture too
The shamans out doing their thing covered in fur and moss
lol
[9:39 AM] 
Well yes, and considering they would have had to come to the new world the same way from Asia...
My point is, cultures are packed with huge hairy humanoids
[9:40 AM]  Mr. Brown: 
yep
[9:41 AM] 
And they carry clubs or branches and can make what comes off as metallic clunking sounds
Australian aborigines spent 50000 years separated.  They have giants too.
[9:42 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Australopithecus?
Prehistoric memories that stayed in tradition?
Like dragons
[9:46 AM] 
These are unusual stone tools archaeologists have found.
hehe
The one by the guy's hand is normal
[9:48 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Giant tools to kill giant animals
[9:48 AM]
Despite the common name “hand axe”, they are butchering tools – they are totally impractical for hunting or fighting.  And also useless for butchering at that size unless you, yourself, are gigantic.
[9:48 AM]  Mr. Blue:
Status symbol stuff... Like the sports car of the stone age.
[9:50 AM]
"Hey babe.  Like the huge hand axe?  Chicks dig giant hand axes."
Considering they stopped using them sometime after 300,000 BC and there's no cultural hints to support any social value to objects for like another 250,000 more years...no...
Want another funny cultural link out of the folklore of old Europe?
Oral and written tradition keeps claiming that "giants" placed megaliths and built stoneworks.  
Even medieval tales have saints conquering the local giant/ogre and having it help build the local church.
[9:51 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Acromegaly was probably a thing
[9:51 AM] 
Could be
Doesn't seem to make your grow hair though.
People aren't just plain stupid about their local world though.  They know what is human and what isn't, really.
Easily fooled?  Perhaps.
And that's a pretty powerful tool for the local smart guy, like a shaman
[9:57 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I'm just saying any reference to wild men or giants in history was just Bulgarian explorers in kikuri costumes.
No, I'm not serious
[9:58 AM] 
lol
(Bulgarian kikuri) "I'm so damned lost.  I can't see a thing in this costume.  Excuse me? Where is the festival!  WAIT!  PUT THE TOOLS DOWN!  STOP SCREAMING!  (flees into woods)"
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581 - Women Are Too Clever For Wikipedia, 19000 Year Old Lodge, Supernatural Killers Are Attracted To The Chase, Lowly Finns In Russia, Stereotypical Cultural Projection, and Hottie Handicap

[3:50 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
there was a story recently that the lady that won the Nobel prize didn't have her own Wikipedia article. Someone tried to create one but a mod declined it.  No big deal, they resubmitted and it was approved. But that opened up some new criticism because only about 16% of articles on Wikipedia (about actual people) are for women
But if men keep finding creative ways to murder women that percentage will go up
[3:51 PM] 
Most articles on Wikipedia aren't about humans
[3:51 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yeah. Of the ones that are about people 16% are women and the rest are men
[3:51 PM] 
true
[3:51 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Which they hinted was evidence of sexism
probably partly the case
[3:52 PM] 
What it hinted is that men write Wikis about themselves
;)
[3:52 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
As long as men occupy *both* the very high end and the very low end of the intelligence spectrum, men will probably dominate in terms of being "historically noteworthy" in my opinion
Both for doing great things and for doing absolute dumbass things.
Meanwhile women mosey along contributing just as much but being too middle-ground for recognition
( >:-( - Mr. Silver)



[1:47 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
[1:54 PM] 
"Archaeologists found the Neolithic site in pristine condition."  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meadowcroft_Rockshelter#/media/File:MeadowcroftRockshelter.jpg
"The natives who built this really had an eye for material selection and architectural composition.  This is very exciting."
(Camper in turtleneck drinking coffee by the fireplace)  "Really?  19000 years old, you say?  Huh?"
[2:03 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
wow.. neolithic peoples had steel i-beams and corrugated metal sheeting
Neolithic rolling mills



[12:31 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
You know how movie monsters like Michael Myers or Jason are always somehow disappearing when you turn your back and then reappearing like right behind you in seconds?
It'd be funny if they showed them, like, sprinting when you turn your back or look away
[12:33 PM] 
Wheezing to keep up with a 17 year old
[12:40 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heheh
Jason gets pretty ridiculous in the sequels
and people act like F'ing morons
they always run way too far ahead of the killer
lose him, then turn around looking for him, then he appears in front of [now behind] them
just walk at a good pace in front of him directly to the police station
Or the classic.
You run indoors... close the door, lock it, and then lean up against the wall right next to what looks like a window made of cellophane (usually camera also pans so window is curiously centered in the frame)



[3:12 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
damn this is a real dig...
“House for the poor Finns”
Дом для бедных финнов 
Historical Landmark
[3:14 PM] 
?
[3:14 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Just some building called "House for the poor Finns"
Something at a monastery in Russia
[3:14 PM] 
Is Poor the polite translation of something else?
“House for Finn Losers”
[3:15 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Probably.. seems like they named it as a shot at Finns
[3:15 PM] 
“Finnish Bum Flophouse”
[3:16 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
“Finns Smell and are Stupid Park”
[3:16 PM] 
“Finn House: This is how poor they live”
Moscow Zoo presents “The Finn House”
(sign outside) "Do not taunt or feed the Finns.  They can't man up to the first and are used to starving."



[8:13 AM] 
[8:16 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I remember that story
[8:17 AM] 
Leaving the H off of Pittsburgh
[8:17 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yeah, nice spelling
[8:19 AM] 
Also I understand a sense of the dramatic, but not many people in the world would call the guy's dagger a saber
[8:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
According to the museum. the artistic style evident in the piece can be viewed as a stereotyped, colonialist misrepresentation of North Africa and the Middle East. 
I assume Bedouins and Berbers rode camels and probably occasionally had to fend off lions
Probably *still* do
[8:23 AM] 
Yeah...it think it's rather a hyperbolic claim. 
Did it happen much?
Probably not so much
Is it a misrepresentation? 
[8:25 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
if we wanted to be accurate and culturally sensitive we'd have him sitting in a tent eating dates and studying the hadith, but nobody wants to pay to see that
[8:26 AM] 
And we could include a series of colonialist stereotypes that feature lions used to people in cars
"Off Duty Arab Courier Fends Off Mosquitoes, Enjoys Couscous At Street Vendor"
All these IT calls really mess up my true work
heh
[8:36 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
[8:42 AM] 
Here...
[9:22 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
he looks so happy
[9:22 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
that exploitive tourist looks rather Ay-rab to me
[9:22 AM]  Mr. Brown.:
hehe
[9:24 AM] 
"Brandishing his two-handed scimitar, the brave man shouts his battle cry 'Please get off of those!' - a tableau scene from the Cargenie Museum in Pitsbruge." 
[9:24 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Very racist Arab diorama of a Arab holding a lamp
[9:26 AM] 
It was interesting, Mr. Blue, in that while I was looking for that image, a lot of tourists seem to look like a lot of them probably have family round those parts.  Makes sense I suppose.  People go to Europe because some great grand-mother came from there.
Thoughts of European Vacation with the Griswald's just piling into "the relatives'" house when they had no idea who these people were
[9:29 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Probably the city folk in Algiers take their kids to the sticks to get pictures of them on camels
[9:30 AM] 
The lad on the camel MUST have some bloodline...he's able to walk on that sand in bare feet.
Mom and daughter are probably going to be glowing crimson in about 5 minutes
[9:32 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Look at those bowed legs too.  That guy was engineered to ride camels
[9:32 AM] 
heh
Look close... the girl's toes are reflexively curled back as tight and far as possible on the flip-flops to keep them from cooking off.
Can one make a fist with toes?
So basically, Mr. Blue, your theory is that parents from the city take their kids out to Bedouin dude ranches?
 (Looks up)
Well...there appears to be two of them
Weird bit?  They are American West themed
LOL
Here we go
Note they have free parking
"Uh... (waves arm around) anywhere.  Here's your ticket."
[10:11 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
Ok pardners, we’re gonna go frog gigging in the oasis before the goat roundup.
lol
[10:15 AM] 
How about "Experience a real American style rancher feud in full costume.  Period costumes, weapons, and ammunition will be provided.  Rivalry teams by lot.  Pre-register your own vendetta with 14 day notice.  Groups up to 25 per side permitted."
[10:22 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Riding a lumpy slow animal and sitting in the hot sun.. cool
[10:24 AM] 
(Vacationer sitting on the sand with a bunch of Bedou)  "So what do you fellows do out here for fun?"
(translator back and forth) "This is it."
"Ah."
"They're offering to walk you to the Big Rock to sit."
"How far is that?" 
(translator back and forth) "10 mile walk..."
"Nice view?  Big vista of the multi-colored desert?  Oasis or something?" 
(translator back and forth)  "It's like this but up on the Big Rock." 
"I'm good."



[10:44 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
did i mention the weird bathroom story i overheard?
A guy was telling someone else that he has peacocks
one day a male peacock just showed up at his house and never left... then sometime later a female showed up. and now they're his
I wasn't sure if he was goofing or not
[10:46 AM] 
...some people drop stray cats at a place...
"...and one speck in Western PA"
[10:50 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Probably escaped from Living Treasures or something
[10:52 AM] 
For some reason after the hen had chicks, no one in the neighborhood responded to the cardboard box in the yard they wrote "Free Peafowl" on. 
Even after they added "Cute!     Cuddly!"
[10:55 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
the evolutionary theories on why they look the way they are is interesting
there was one theory i read called something like "handicap selection".
The big bright plumage is a handicap to their survival, therefore showing how *fit* the male with the brightest plumage is for being able to survive in spite of its handicap.. hence the reason why it's been selected
so it'd be like women choosing a man with a ball and chain around his neck over a man without one
I guess my explanation of it isn't exactly correct
at No comments:

580 - "Stuff Ship, Man", Bad Bum-Bum, Hipsterville, Hostile Landscaping, Amazingly Awful Murders, and Extra-Dimensional Architecture

[1:27 PM] 
Rare word popped in my head.  I finally remembered it long enough and was at a computer to look up where the heck it comes from
“longshoreman”
I knew it was a ship thing - loader/unloader. 
[1:27 PM]  Mr. Brown.: 
longs horeman
hehe
[1:27 PM] 
"Fine...where does it come from?"
It was derived from “man-along-the-shore”
Bloody Americans...
And Canadians.
Proper Queens English is to properly misspell the Spanish word as "stevedore"
which...
Means...
"a man who stuffs"
Bloody sailors...



(https://www.bbc.com/pidgin – Mr. Silver)
[8:59 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
From the pidgin hot pages...
“Anoda woman don die afta 'Brazilian bum-bum' to add extra ikebe”
[9:01 AM] 
Can you tell what ikebe is?
[9:02 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
Butt, i think
[9:02 AM] 
Nod
The headline on the home page was different than the article
She don go get big bum bum an die
My finest pigin
I think you need to be a young, fit, attractive Brazilian woman for that to look good.
Just sayin'.
[9:07 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
And i think if it doesn't come naturally the surgery is worthless
[9:08 AM] 
Granted a flat tush isn't generally considered appealing on anyone, but going for an artificial bubble butt is...
Yes.  Takes genetics just like anything else.
“Before we slap a layer of fat on your ass and hope for the best, would you consider this recording of the "Buns of Steel Workout" one last time?  'Cause really...I mean... (points at Brazilian babe photo) ...that... isn't fat."



[9:27 AM]
Agent address
535 HIPPS TER
TOWNSVILLE  
[9:27 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
heheh
[9:27 AM] 
"You probably won't be able to find the house...it's kind of obscure."
[9:28 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
A whole street of baristas and micro brewmasters with gender studies degrees
[9:28 AM] 
lol
"I going to need a higher upload speed at home...after hours I use it to transmit music from vinyl to my vlog and it's buffering."
[9:31 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
I saw a picture of some guy waiting in line at a Starbucks that was captioned something like "peak hipster". He was wearing onesie pajamas with actual feet in the pajama pants. It had, like, dinosaurs on it



[1:33 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
What's new with your neighbor
Still mowing his lawn obsessively?
[1:35 PM] 
He stopped doing it ... maybe after I pointed out within earshot that his lawn was thin with dead patches and ours looked better
It never did recover, really
I should seed it with something weird when he can't notice.
[1:37 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
you'd think by now we'd have come up with grass that's something other than green.
Like red
[1:38 PM] 
[1:41 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
I guess it's one thing to change the color of a fruit or flower and another to change the color of the leafy part of a plant on account of the chlorophyll and whatnot
That vetiver one would look pretty ugly in patches on someone's yard.
[1:49 PM] 
I was wondering if tumbleweed would take.  That stuff is impossible to get rid of.
[1:49 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
What if you just piled tumbleweed around his house overnight?
[1:53 PM] 
That
Is
AWESOME!
Man!  I'd go to PRISON for importing that!
It's beautiful!
[1:56 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
None of the pictures look real
Looks like a regular picture someone used some kind of photoshop brush on haphazardly.
[2:00 PM] 
This has to be fake...it's from Australia and doesn't kill anyone
[2:13 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
heh
Its not even poisonous
[2:13 PM] 
Too right
[2:13 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Makes me itchy just looking at it
[2:14 PM] 
REAL Australian lawn plants are things like Night Strangler Kudzu
"Just lock yer windows at niaht, sport!"



[2:27 PM] 
It's like the Saudi's watched a Connery era Bond and thought grabbing this Khashoggi guy would go unnoticed.
[2:33 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Yeah this is weird
It's so easy to kill someone, and yet they picked a very noticeable and inefficient way
[2:41 PM] 
I think they just hired folks who forgot people watch every damned thing now.
"We have no idea where he was."
"Well...he was filmed walking in your building with you."
"I mean we have no idea what happened after he walked in."
"Well, he was texting and suddenly stopped answering the instant he walked in."
"... He must have left.  We didn't do anything."
"We know he didn't leave."
"He's hiding?"
"We thought so too, until someone using a Saudi IP from the location sent a film of the torture and murder to a Turkish buddy."
"... ... ... typo?"



[3:23 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
Speaking of doing weird things to journalists... wonder whatever happened to that submarine guy
[3:24 PM] 
Pled guilty I think.  Haven't heard the submarine thing in a while
[3:29 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
So that guy built a freaking submarine just so he could sexually assault, torture and kill a woman and get away with it and he literally didn't even make it back to land without being arrested.
[3:31 PM] 
[3:31 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
lol
[3:43 PM] 
Here's the deal though...just think of the exclusive club we're talking about. 
She is - quite likely - the only woman who will ever be brutally murdered and dismembered on a private submarine.
[3:45 PM]  Mr. Blue: 
she's got a wikipedia article now
[3:46 PM]
I mean... "murdered on a submarine" is probably already an extremely low number compared to nearly every other type of ship
Add "woman" to that
There might be a couple.
And then "civilian"...she's probably alone but future history is long.
Add "Private"
Fine...we'll have maybe one more in the next few hundred years.
"Home built"? 
Good God – Never ever unless a home-built-private-submarine-woman-murder cult is formed.
That's qualifications for a Horrorscope prediction
Extraordinary death circumstances such as these always make me remember the Onion Horoscope "The true circumstances of your demise will be so horrifying that law enforcement will lighten the blow on your family by telling them you were sodomized to death by half of a horse"



[9:49 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
“Bladerunner 2018” https://goo.gl/maps/JfrkGdbeDpw
[9:53 AM]  Mr. Brown.: 
hah
[10:07 AM] 
That's quite the building
[10:11 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
It's a casino
[10:13 AM] 
yep
They have another interesting glass something if you turn around
Not really sure what it's intended to be...drove all around.  Some sort of park with water feature yet stairs going underground?
Just a part of "Hotel Wynn"? 
Ah...clever
You can't get in from outside unless you walk across the lawn.  I assume the intention is you're supposed to walk to it from underground from whatever hotel owns it.
Naturally there's a student-looking fellow taking a shortcut
[11:02 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
the glass things looks like they're to cover mechanical things related to the fountains
[11:02 AM] 
You can see public use designed stairs in each.  They're observation points.  No apparent door out
[11:04 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
oh you're right
it's pedestrian underpasses for the hotels / casinos
what sparked my interest was this picture which i thought was fake.. does look a bit edited but seems mostly real https://external-preview.redd.it/QLTnzubH7ozz8QphDuIquQyJkKC2svrf5uf9SHskMNw.jpg?width=512&auto=webp&s=82cb89ba2eb084e4c54b03d05b988d1bcc6d56bd
[11:13 AM] 
That is a magnificent photo, Mr. Blue
I'd think people not used to it walking down the street would get vertigo and drift left
[11:20 AM]  Mr. Blue: 
lol yeah
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