Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Day 251 - Schmoblesse Oblige, Reporting On The Spanish Casualty Economy, Big Bucks In Beanie Boobies, The Names Share A Very Similar Timbre, "I've Also Discovered Your New TV Has A Virus Too", "Holy Moke!", Spammers From Mars, Mr. Gray Proposes A Fishy Experiment, and The Eighth Deadly Sin

2:22 PM Mr. Gray
2:23 PM Mr. Blue
Yet some doctor is allowing her to have radical cosmetic surgeries.
Whoever that is needs their license to practice medicine revoked.
2:23 PM Mr. Gray
Yep...welcome to LA
2:24 PM Mr. Blue
She's nuts on Twitter.
She claims every picture of her isn't her.
"That's not me! I don't wear wigs."
2:24 PM Mr. Brown
Also everybody is ugly.
2:24 PM Mr. Gray
I've seen some of those posts....yep, not her at all. LOL
2:24 PM Mr. Blue
I didn't like her much when she was sane.
Her characters on “All That” were unfunny.
2:26 PM Mr. Gray
America needs to stop making stupid people famous.
2:26 PM Mr. Amethyst
Never gonna happen.
There are too many of them.
2:28 PM Mr. Silver
American people, stupid people, famous people, or all permutations?
2:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
Stupid people.
2:29 PM Mr. Blue
People like the Kardashians and Bynes are just our noble families.
Our lives suck so bad that we have to live through someone else, and then throw them under the bus to make ourselves feel better.
2:32 PM Mr. Blue
Ultimately you really shouldn't care. It's understandable to care about a celebrity if like... they're famous for a reason.
2:32 PM Mr. Amethyst
Yup.
2:33 PM Mr. Blue
If Tom Cruise burned down a city block, I’d be interested in that because I've watched his movies for most of my life.
2:33 PM Mr. Amethyst
Right LOL



8:47 AM Mr. Silver
Wow...nice juxtaposition: 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/ (Unfortunately there was no way to reasonably save the page – Mr. Silver)
"Spain train crash death toll mounts"
Then lower down
"Spanish unemployment rate falls"



Mr. Brown
Ouch
1:48 PM Mr. Blue
How exactly were they planning on getting a return on that investment?
Beanie Babies aren't stocks or shares.
Did they think they'd be able to turn around and re-sell them later for more than they paid? Why?  They're not rare and they haven't been around that long.
In the end they'll make out. They did something so stupid that it'll make an interesting documentary and they'll get money from that.
1:55 PM Mr. Silver
They used to put out lists projecting the values of those stupid things.
Thousands of dollars projected. Practically none of them worth anything now.
1:57 PM Mr. Brown
Yep
1:57 PM Mr. Blue
Nice racket by Ty then.
1:57 PM Mr. Brown
Like all collectables, once nobody wants it, its not worth anything.
2:06 PM Mr. Silver
1995 "This tiger with a peppermint stripe and the sewing error on it's ass will be worth $6000 in 10 years!" 
2:07 PM Mr. Blue
"...assuming inflation is 6000%"



Mr. Amethyst
Love this
12:24 PM Mr. Blue
When I first saw it was produced by Burton but directed by some guy named Timbur Bekmambetov, I thought that was a pseudonym of Burton's.
But I guess it's a real person.
12:28 PM Mr. Silver
(Burton) "I hired him because his name starts "Tim Bur"."
12:28 PM Mr. Amethyst
Yup
Fate
Well. I suppose fate would be if a tree fell on him.
12:29 PM Mr. Silver
Were there a lot of tree-felling scenes with Lincoln shouting "Tim Bur!" and winking in it?
12:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
12:41 PM Mr. Blue
Wouldn't it be funny if someone made an award winning movie but trashed the ending?
12:41 PM Mr. Amethyst
I just saw one like that.
12:41 PM Mr. Blue
Like, if at the end of Forrest Gump, if he looked at the camera and winked and then the entire cast joined him and they started dancing to a 90's ska band.
12:41 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hahaha



Mr. Amethyst
"Its just a virus" was my answer to everything she was saying. Rather than pay someone to remove the virus, she's just going to buy a new PC.
3:21 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe. I love hearing people talking like that.
3:26 PM Mr. Silver
"Excuse me, do you mind if I have a look at that computer you're throwing out? Thanks. (check specs) And what night are you putting this out for trash?  What was your address? Thank you. You know, I think you're right; buying a new one is a fantastic idea."
3:27 PM Mr. Amethyst
Right! LOL
3:35 PM Mr. Blue
I’ve replaced computers for less.
"Hmm, Pentium logo is starting to peel off..."
3:35 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
3:35 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
3:38 PM Mr. Blue
I’ll wear underwear until they completely disintegrate though.
3:38 PM Mr. Silver
There was a Bloom County strip.  The hacker kid is watching TV and the ad for the Banana Jr 2.1 has come out. "Now with tint control!" He packs up his Banana 2.0 and puts it in the trash.
"Hackers, as a rule, don't deal with obsolescence well."
3:38 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
3:39 PM Mr. Blue
I broke a lace on my rollerblades, so I bought new rollerblades.
3:39 PM Mr. Amethyst
47 holes in these boxers? Why not wait til 50?



Mr. Silver
(crickets)
Wake up!
10:43 AM Mr. Amethyst
Very nice.
10:44 AM Mr. Silver
Not sure where that came from...someone's typo years ago...
Someone wrote “Holy Moke”, I searched it, and she came up.
10:45 AM Mr. Amethyst
As in, you typed “surfer girl woohoo”?
10:45 AM Mr. Silver
No...she's a moke
"Anyone (Usually of Hawaiian ancestry) who actively participates in one or more of the following “moke” activities- Surfing Bodyboarding Bodysurfing" -etc 
10:47 AM Mr. Amethyst
She needs moked.
10:47 AM Mr. Silver
Agreed.  However, since she's completely unavailable, I just click the link for a pick-me-up.
11:20 AM Mr. Silver
I found a few other pictures of her, but only kept the one.
11:25 AM Mr. Silver
I figured a folder of links to my "Holy Moke" would be considered a little weird.
11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
11:26 AM Mr. Silver
"What is this?  A porn folder?  At work?"
"Not...really...it's hard to explain.  It all started with a typo..."
11:29 AM Mr. Amethyst
"Did Mr. Amethyst have something to do with this?"
"No. He didn't even work here when I found her."
"Uh huh..."



11:30 AM Mr. Mustard
This agent wanted her old email address back. I told her “A person from Mars has it” She got really concerned.
“A Martian took my E-mail?”
“Yep!”
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
"Mars Needs Email!"
11:31 AM Mr. Mustard
Indeed
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
(cue weird theremin music)
(splash screens!)
"Unimaginable Horror!"
"From the RED PLANET!"
"Alien Fiends!"
"Spam!"
"No email..."
"...is safe!"
11:41 AM Mr. Silver
Starring Telulah D. Vine and Brad Bracket!
(trailer cuts to lab full of "science" junk)
Barbara "What is it Dr?"
Dr. "It's...an attachment!"
Barbara "Is it serious?"
11:43 AM Mr. Mustard
OMG!
11:43 AM Mr. Silver
Dr. "Yes, my dear.  Perhaps more serious than anything our Earth has ever had to deal with before...  It's an alien attachment.  You've read my work on flying saucers, haven't you?"
Barbara "Of course! But what does it all mean? Have you clicked on it yet?"
Dr. "Barbara...there are some attachments Man was never intended to click on."
11:46 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL



12:15 PM Mr. Gray
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-07/fyi-how-long-would-it-take-piranhas-eat-person
Willing to help us test a theory Mr. Brown?
12:17 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hmmm
We could put a hook in his butt and see how many we can catch.
12:18 PM Mr. Gray
I was thinking a rope around his shoulders, since the skeleton would still be mostly intact afterward, and then a couple small cuts to attract the fish. Or we could just chum the water.
12:24 PM Mr. Brown
You have to instigate the frenzy, because you can swim with them and they won't attack you.
12:24 PM Mr. Gray
Cuts and blood in the water should work.
12:25 PM Mr. Brown
Right.
Then it depends on how many there are, because they only eat so much per body weight.
12:26 PM Mr. Amethyst
Correct, but a person - say you - thrashing might attract others. Not only that, but the candiru asu would likely light you up.
12:28 PM Mr. Amethyst
OH COME ON NOW! I search candiru asu and I get vasectomy images! Damn it Google!
12:28 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
12:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
I searched “30 pound gummy bear” earlier and got boobs.
12:29 PM Mr. Amethyst
Google images is going down hill. Well, up hill depending on whether I'm searching from here or home.



Mr. Amethyst
You know, I’m not big on religion, but the new pope gets my approval.
"If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?" Francis asked. "We shouldn't marginalize people for this. They must be integrated into society."
2:02 PM Mr. Brown
Yes, he's got his head on straight.
2:03 PM Mr. Amethyst
Yup
2:04 PM Mr. Silver
Yup...certain elements of the church aren't very "happy" about his anti-medieval stances on reality.
2:04 PM Mr. Amethyst
Isn’t being happy a sin?
2:04 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah, if you're doing it wrong.
2:05 PM Mr. Silver
“Right”, Mr. Brown...it's a sin if you're doing it “right”.
2:06 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
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Monday, July 29, 2013

Day 250 - Mr. Mustard's Soylent Stew, Half Of What I Learned In The SCA Was Taught By Terry Gilliam, The Big Shoe Hunter, Brown Hulk Need Nicotine Smash!, Tom-Poo-Lery, Male Pattern Royalty, and Lama Hair Sweaters

Mr. Mustard
"My roommate was a person who fed his girlfriend to homeless people,"
12:24 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
Cannibal Soup Kitchen
12:25 PM Mr. Mustard
Yeppers.
Long-pork for the homeless.
"What are we having for dinner?"
"Joe.  Gave him a fifth, and he is sleeping it off in the bar-b-que pit."



Mr. Silver
So..."Jabberwocky"
I'm thinking the black knight at the end was a kid in an identical costume to make the monster look bigger.
10:23 AM Mr. Amethyst
What?
10:24 AM Mr. Silver
You've not seen "Jabberwocky"?
10:24 AM Mr. Brown
I have not.
11:02 AM Mr. Gray
Wow...hasn’t seen Jabberwocky.  Sad.
11:20 AM Mr. Silver
Hangs with the SCA too...shameless.
11:26 AM Mr. Gray
SCA people in our day would have laughed at him for that.
11:26 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
Silly people.
11:27 AM Mr. Silver
He probably hasn't watched “The Lion in Winter” until he's sick of it either.
11:27 AM Mr. Amethyst
Nope.
11:29 AM Mr. Brown
The only movie like that I have at home is Holy Grail
11:29 AM Mr. Silver
Please say you've seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
11:30 AM Mr. Amethyst
...In Minecraft I have a fort.  Its name is "Fort Exile".  It has a big sign ... "NONE SHALL PASS...unless you give me a shrubbery"
11:30 AM Mr. Brown
Have you seen “The Life of Brian” or “The Meaning of Life”?
11:31 AM Mr. Amethyst
I’ve seen Meaning of Life.
11:31 AM Mr. Silver
You’re changing the subject!
11:34 AM Mr. Amethyst
I did not.
Mr. Brown did.
11:49 AM Mr. Silver
I was yellin' at Mr. Brown!
11:49 AM Mr. Amethyst
Oh
That’s ok then.



12:15 PM Mr. Mustard
Kind of says it all”
“Guinness record holder for shoes killed in Calif.”
“How many shoes did you kill in California last week?”
“About 2 dozen , give or take, but it was in Self-Defense, you know."
12:47 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
12:48 PM Mr. Silver
"There's nothin' more dangerous than a wounded patent leather pump, son."
12:48 PM Mr. Mustard
"First they bite your arch, then they go for the heel."
12:50 PM Mr. Blue
Puts new meaning to the "STAND your ground" law.
*pulls at collar*
12:54 PM Mr. Silver
:-)
12:53 PM Mr. Mustard
“My floor looks like Swiss cheese!  Dem varmints just walked over there like they owned the place.”
12:54 PM Mr. Silver
"You leave a pair of 'em alone in a closet and it's not too long before there's a dozen of them in there.  People just should never be allowed to take home a mated pair."
12:55 PM Mr. Brown
They are very smart. They are able to untie any knot you tie in them and can tie knots you can't get loose.
12:58 PM Mr. Silver
To trip the unwary, yes.  
"You can outrun boots; they're made for walkin'" 



Mr. Brown
I need an endorphin rush.
I’m in a bad mood for some reason.
8:16 AM Mr. Silver
"Brown Hulk emotionally smashed..."
8:17 AM Mr. Brown
Its like I’m snappy today.
8:31 AM Mr. Brown
OK, I think I figured out my mood issue - no cigs.
LOL
8:32 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Gray switched to a Blu.
8:33 AM Mr. Blue
If you get one of those, you can just smoke at your desk.
8:33 AM Mr. Brown
No you can't.
8:33 AM Mr. Silver
I suppose...it's just water vapor, flavor and nicotine; it doesn't even smell.
I think it's just water vapor anyway
8:46 AM Mr. Brown
I bummed a cig to curb my craving, so no more after that one.
For sure.
I think I came off them too cold turkey. I know sometimes you can drop the nicotine too fast.
8:57 AM Mr. Blue
I’m too lazy to get addicted to anything.
8:57 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
8:58 AM Mr. Silver
Addicted to laziness.
8:59 AM Mr. Blue
Like, even if I wanted cigarettes, I wouldn't have the energy or motivation to keep buying new packs.
9:00 AM Mr. Silver
"I'm dying for a cig. Oh yeah...forgot to get any.  The convenience store is next door but I'd have to put on shoes.  I'll get 'em tomorrow."
9:13 AM Mr. Silver
Morning guys
9:13 AM Mr. Amethyst
Blarg
9:13 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Blue says he's too lazy to get addicted to anything. 
Any suggestions?
9:14 AM Mr. Gray
Heroin?
9:14 AM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
9:14 AM Mr. Gray
Kinda just lay there...Opium too.
9:14 AM Mr. Amethyst
Minecraft too.
9:15 AM Mr. Brown
I was addicted to sunflower seeds for a while
LOL
9:31 AM Mr. Blue
Hey, if someone brings it to me, I'll do it. And doesn't charge since I won't have a job.
9:32 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
9:32 AM Mr. Gray
If someone brings it to you, you'll do it? Heroin?! Wow...
9:32 AM Mr. Amethyst
NOPE!
9:32 AM Mr. Brown
I’ve changed my way of quitting.
Instead of saying I’m trying, I'm saying I’m quitting.
I'm adjusting my mental state to that.
9:32 AM Mr. Blue
Uh huh.
Just stop buyin' 'em.
Or is Mrs Brown still smoking?
9:33 AM Mr. Brown
She still smokes.
9:34 AM Mr. Blue
Like I said before, you won't be able to quit if she's still smoking



Mr. Brown
I was thinking that it would be funny to go sit in a stall in the bathroom, then when somebody walks in yell “IT'S ESCAPING!!!!”
10:59 AM Mr. Blue
And then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet.
10:59 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
Even better!
11:00 AM Mr. Blue
My friend would do that prank at the mall: go into a stall when the bathroom is really busy and start screaming, drop a bunch of oranges or something into the toilet, then he'd yell as loud as he could "IT FEELS LIKE RAZOR BLADES!!!"
(As long as this day features Terry Gilliam... Here, enjoy- Mr. Silver)



Mr. Silver
SHOCKED I am!  SHOCKED!  SCANDALIZED!!!!
1:23 PM Mr. Silver
A British princess in public without a hat!?!?
1:23 PM Mr. Blue
I don't understand the appeal of the royal family even for British people, let alone Americans.
Pretty stupid, to be honest.
1:27 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah. Thank goodness these robust genetics have been passed on. Bravo sir. Stop the presses. http://vickiessex.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/prince-william-balding.jpg
1:28 PM Mr. Silver
Nice dental work in the lower jaw too...how old is he?  I'm in my 40s with no dental work and all my wisdom teeth. 
1:30 PM Mr. Brown
He is actually a cool bald guy.
He clearly doesn't worry about it.
LOL



1:38 PM Mr. Brown
1:50 PM Mr. Silver
Yum
2:04 PM Mr. Gray
So if that's how the bodies of those who aren't llamas are disposed of, what do they do with the llamas?
2:05 PM Mr. Silver
Make sweaters out of them?
(It's “lama”, BTW.)
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