Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 246 - Where The Pain's At, "Average Barbie" Isn't Fostering A Positive Body Image Either, Holy Water-Of-Life, "Who Was That Masked Idiot, Anyway?", Boycott The Boycotters!, "And The Meek Shall Inherit 86% On Rotten Tomatoes", and "What State Is Scotland In?"

Mr. Blue
I liked this. Nobody was around to enjoy it, so I saved it
    11:36 AM Brian
   If Beck with THE RENAL GROUP calls in, please let me know. 
   11:36 AM Mr. Blue
   ♫ I got two turn-tables and a kidney stoooone 
9:02 AM Mr. Silver
lol
Excellent!
9:03 AM Mr. Blue
Thanks!



Mr. Silver
So while, yes, I'd prefer the average...
I'm not really getting their “average”... Is this doll the reasonable section of a bell curve, or the completely-averaged Barbie with no outliers removed? 
11:37 AM Mr. Amethyst
Yeah, that's odd lookin'.
11:39 AM Mr. Silver
How much fat were we mixing with how much thin? What does average 'fit' Barbie look like?
11:39 AM Mr. Blue
It's not like GI Joes and stuff are proportionate.
Or Ninja Turtles.
Still, I didn't grow up with body image issues
11:40 AM Mr. Silver
No body issues...just an urge to fight things with lethal weapons yet not kill anyone.
11:41 AM Mr. Blue
Heheh
11:41 AM Mr. Silver
"GOOOO JOE!"
11:42 AM Mr. Blue
At least no negative body issues.
11:42 AM Mr. Silver
"I might be a slob, but I can take you out with a sword."
11:42 AM Mr. Blue
I had a Beetlejuice toy that you could swap its head for a smaller head that the witchdoctor gave him... I didn't want a smaller head in real life.
Barbie does need to change though...it's such an old-fashioned concept. Even the name has a negative connotation. Anybody named "Barbie" you automatically assume is a moron. Or at least I do.



Mr. Silver
An old story came to mind...
1:56 PM Mr. Amethyst
Oh?
1:57 PM Mr. Silver
The town priest was a teetotaler, and was always hassling the men about the evils of hard drink.  One night he enters the bar announcing that he has proof of the will of God regarding everyone's favorite sin.  He orders up a glass of water and a glass of whiskey.  Then he produces 2 earthworms and has the men gather round. 
Plop...one in the water.  Plop...another in the whiskey. 
The water one swims about happily.  The whiskey one soons stops struggling. 
"There!  Now, what does that tell you about God's will and hard drink?"
One pipes up "God wants us to drink whiskey so we won't get worms!"
1:58 PM Mr. Amethyst
Hahahah
2:22 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh
or "Drink whiskey...meet God sooner."
2:33 PM Mr. Silver
On that note...
"Allah ak-beer!"
2:33 PM Mr. Amethyst
I wish.
2:33 PM Mr. Silver
Look'a that derpy face.  I imagine him talking like a clown.
2:35 PM Mr. Amethyst
Jesus! LOL
2:38 PM Mr. Silver
(Finishes reading, shakes head)
2:40 PM Mr. Silver
I kind of like Allah Ak-Beer
"The only light, crisp ale that comes with a fatwa."



2:57 PM Mr. Silver
"Historical Accuracy Provides Another Unexpected Reason Not To Go See 'The Lone Ranger' " 
3:00 PM Mr. Silver
Dr. Baehr - "For some reason the pagan character is not Christian! And he opposes the efforts at the genocide of native Americans that good Christian people like robber barons, the US Army, and President Lincoln promoted."
"Who wants to see the futile struggling and psychological death agonies of an oppressed minority, as personified by someone damned by his pagan traditions, much less let see him occasionally succeed in the face of the inevitable? It's not right! There were plenty of doomed Christian Native Americans, too. Why wasn't Tonto modeled after them"
"Bowing to Christian backlash, the sequel - 'The Lone Ranger and Tonto go To Church' is expected to make 15 million it's opening weekend."
3:01 PM Mr. Blue
LOL!
I was reading about the original Tonto on Wednesday. I remember watching the old show, but don't recall much of it. He seems to have been a pretty positive portrayal for its time.
For starters the fact that he was actually played by a Native American, and he wasn't a villain or a servant.
3:02 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
3:02 PM Mr. Blue
But people didn't like his pidgin accent.
I don't see a big deal there. I'm pretty sure a lot of Native Americans didn’t speak perfect English in the late 1800s.
3:10 PM Mr. Silver
Hell, plenty of Americans can barely speak it now.
My favorite thing about Tonto when I was a kid was discovering Tonto is the Spanish word for idiot.
3:12 PM Mr. Blue
LOL Yeah.
3:13 PM Mr. Silver
"You no call me The Moron anymore, Kemosabe.  I learn what name mean."
"Ok...how about Tonto?"
"Tonto...hmm...sound strong. It good!"
"...Yeah..."
3:19 PM Mr. Silver
(later with the natives) "Did he figure out what Kemosabe means yet?"
3:20 PM Mr. Silver
"'Clueless One'?  No, he's an idiot."
3:20 PM Mr. Blue
I guess they change it to Toro in Spanish versions.
3:24 PM Mr. Silver
The Clueless Guy and Bull
Eh...works



9:44 AM Mr. Silver
9:46 AM Mr. Silver
I'm not boycotting a movie over crap like that.
9:50 AM Mr. Silver
There's a different group bitching, apparently, because there's a transgender character in it. 
9:52 AM Mr. Blue
If I only chose to watch movies written, directed and starring people I agreed with politically, I wouldn't be able to watch anything.
9:53 AM Mr. Silver
Exactly.
9:55 AM Mr. Silver
"Don't live in Pennsylvania!  Don't buy their maple syrup!  Don't go to movies made in Pittsburgh there!  There are ANTI-GAYS there!"
(Alt) "(all the above but) GAY people live there!"
FFFFFFFF
UUUUUUU
Come on, let's see that philosophical purity extended to anything real, you dorks.
9:57 AM Mr. Brown
I’m against myself being gay, is that in there?
lol
9:58 AM Mr. Silver
"Don't read the Bible!  There are GAY people in it!"
And murderers...fornicators...incestuous relationships...rapists...traitors...blah blah...
9:58 AM Mr. Brown
Yep yep
9:59 AM Mr. Silver
With that many writers, I'm sure some of them had something for modern losers to protest over. 
"Good Christians, and anyone with morals, ethics, and a conscience should boycott the Bible, I say!"



Mr. Blue
I watched a movie called “Meek's Cutoff”; an indie film, but it has a pretty recognizable cast.
It's kind of a western, but no guns a blazin' or anything. Its about a wagon party that gets lost. It's not terribly exciting, but its interesting to watch. I'd say it was very accurate to what people back then actually went through.
Its based on real events, supposedly.
Some guy called Meek was a trapper who claimed to have found a shortcut for the Oregon Trail. He got a bunch of people lost, and some died.
11:05 AM Mr. Silver
"And the Meek shall inherit all the sucker pioneers' earthly possessions."
11:07 AM Mr. Blue
To Meek's credit he could have just left them to die at any point, but he stayed with them.
11:10 AM Mr. Blue
I can imagine it was pretty hard. Finding a route by yourself on horseback is easy, but making that same route manageable with a bunch of huge wagons is another thing.
11:11 AM Mr. Brown
Dang it! I left crumbs on this path, where they go?”
He was probably a poor map maker, I’m guessing.
Um. There was a tree here, I thought, that pointed to the west.”
11:12 AM Mr. Silver
"I know a shortcut!"
"Any scouting credentials?"
"Not a one!"
"Are you cheap?"
"Yessir!"
"Lead on!"
11:13 AM Mr. Blue
11:21 AM Mr. Blue
Maybe it was a rumor started by Meek to literally blaze his trail. It would be cool to find though, huh? Gold just sitting there...don't even need to dredge or pan.
I'll tell you what though, those wagon train people weren't particularly prepared for the journey either. I mean, they brought rocking chairs and stuff with them, and the women were dressed for Sunday church.
11:27 AM Mr. Silver
I'd rather have their experience heading west than mine...
11:27 AM Mr. Blue
Yours? Or mine as in mining?
11:30 AM Mr. Silver
As in my own knowledge and skills and physical fitness.
11:31 AM Mr. Blue
Oh yeah.



3:38 PM Mr. Silver
Oh! I forgot about this from yesterday, but I left myself a note. 
As I was signing out for lunch, a voice drifted across the cube wall...
3:40 PM Mr. Silver
"I'm sorry, I'm not finding an entry for Scotland.  Is that part of Ireland?"
(pause)
"I said I don't see a listing for Scotland.  Is that Ireland?"
(pause)
"Well is Scotland part of some other country, I mean."
3:40 PM Mr. Blue
Heh
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
The thing about the tone, pauses and responses were that it really sounded like neither one had any idea.  It was amazing to me.
I wanted to keep listening to it but I decided using up my lunch time for that was silly.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Day 245 - "Harry Potter And The Unsustainable Population", Windows 8 Explained, Wakizashi, and The Strange Doom Of Mr. Blue

Mr. Brown

LOL They are hiring trainers for Carrie and Mark for the new Star Wars movie.

9:06 AM Mr. Gray

I want that job.

"Mark....do what you did before"

9:06 AM Mr. Silver
"This is called 'brisk walking'...you may remember it from 20 years ago."
9:06 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL
9:07 AM Mr. Gray
Ohhhh...PHYSICAL trainers. Yeah, that’s different.

9:07 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

9:07 AM Mr. Gray

I think he needs to go all Dark side and break into the Joker laugh.

9:07 AM Mr. Silver
That would be great!
"Cut! Mark! Stop calling him 'Bats' in your lines, please."
9:09 AM Mr. Gray

He really did do an excellent job voicing the Joker. All the toons I've seen since with other people just don’t compare.

9:11 AM Mr. Brown

Didn't Luke go Dark side for awhile Mr. Gray?

9:13 AM Mr. Silver
He went Dark side for a while, yes.
9:16 AM Mr. Silver
Perhaps they'll run him like Yoda and Palpatine should have been in episodes 1-3.
"Screw sabers...I'm a grand master. Sabers are for dispatching chumps with blasters."
"Watch this, you Sith wannabe (Luke snaps fingers, villain's brain turns off and he collapses.  Snaps again.)
"Oww! My head hurts! What just happened?"
9:19 AM Mr. Brown

You are not the one you are looking for.” (wave hand)

Man stands there, very confused.

9:21 AM Mr. Blue

So these new Star Wars movies come after episode 6?

9:21 AM Mr. Amethyst

Yea

9:21 AM Mr. Blue

So no Darth Vader then? Or did he live?

9:21 AM Mr. Amethyst

He died.

9:21 AM Mr. Brown

Yeah he's dead.

9:21 AM Mr. Amethyst

Unless the Sith got into necromancy, and in that case I HAVE to watch it.

9:23 AM Mr. Silver
They certainly got into necromancy.
(Undead Vader) "I told you, you don't know the power of the Dark Side."
9:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

9:26 AM Mr. Silver
I still want to see Darth Jar Jar
Mr. Brown

I still wish they could go way back on a Star Wars movie to the time of original light sabers.

9:59 AM Mr. Silver
"Early lightsabers" is a surprisingly long and convoluted topic.  Like hundreds/thousands of years.  No one would ever pursue it as a technology.
10:02 AM Mr. Silver
As an anthropologist, I'm skeptical of their hinted origin stories.
10:03 AM Mr. Amethyst

A fanthropologist.

10:04 AM Mr. Silver
Nice word!
Having the anthropologist POV can do strange things to fandom of stuff.
10:04 AM Mr. Silver
The Lord Of The Rings, for instance.
10:07 AM Mr. Silver
The heroes are either total snobs who ignore common folk, or the population of Northwestern Middle Earth is so low there that there's something seriously wrong.
There's evidence for both.
10:07 AM Mr. Amethyst

Mhm

10:08 AM Mr. Amethyst

Do Harry Potter next. What's going on there?

10:09 AM Mr. Brown

Huh?

10:10 AM Mr. Amethyst

He commented on Star Wars and LOTR as a skeptical anthropologist. Time to do Harry Potter.

10:11 AM Mr. Silver
Harry Potter didn't have a sustainable society until like book 5-6
There were just not enough people in the wizarding schools. Certainly not enough to explain the wizard/witch crowd.
10:12 AM Mr. Silver
There are only 3 wizarding schools mentioned, and they are talked about as THE ONLY 3 wizarding schools.
10:13 AM Mr. Amethyst

None of the 3 are American either.

10:13 AM Mr. Silver
In working on a roleplaying game and going through books, I generously put each "class" of students (split into 4 houses, and boys and girls) at something like 50 per year based on numbers mentioned. Each house gets a table. Even in the movies if you split the great hall into different years, the “big crowd” is tiny.
10:14 AM Mr. Silver
Fortunately, by the time you get to Tom-Riddle-origin hunting, it turns out the garden variety common wizard/witch was trained at home by the parents, so there's room for plenty more who couldn't go to a fancy public school.
Ghastly scenario before that though.
10:15 AM Mr. Blue

I never saw or read any Harry Potter stuff...doesn't interest me. It seems like it's geared for kids, and I’m not one.

10:16 AM Mr. Silver
Kids?  Eh...well, it ramps up through appropriate reader age with the kids.
10:16 AM Mr. Amethyst

Its actually pretty intense.

10:17 AM Mr. Silver
Hell...Harry kills a villain in the first one.  The adults pussyfoot around that fact.
10:18 AM Mr. Amethyst

Mhm

Turns him to dust with his bare hands.

10:18 AM Mr. Silver
Dumbledore - "Uh...your mom's love...hurt him."
"But he disintegrated, headmaster."
"Well...Lily always was a bitch, really."
10:19 AM Mr. Amethyst

Haahaha

10:19 AM Mr. Silver
"I don't understand."
"Just be happy she died before she could spank you growing up, Harry."
10:22 AM Mr. Silver
By the time Voldemort killed Cedric in Goblet of Fire, I kinda jumped...I think everyone reading it did.
10:22 AM Mr. Amethyst

Jumped?

Like "Sweet, he's dead?"

10:26 AM Mr. Silver
No, more an "Oh my God, the trump suit is open!" jump. 
Child murder isn't exactly common in most books, and up until then, death was alluded to, or was “escaped” through questionable luck.
And with Cedric, it was just Voldemort coldly saying “I don't need that one” and dropping an instant-death curse on him.
10:28 AM Mr. Silver
This scene was immediately followed by menace, torture, desperation...
10:30 AM Mr. Silver
So yeah...the series starts with kids and kids' issues and juvenile literature close calls versus a bogeyman...but it ends in death, horror, destruction, misery, torture, malice, living hell...
10:33 AM Mr. Amethyst

I haven't seen or read the last two. Are they good?

10:33 AM Mr. Silver
With those tags? Yes!



Mr. Blue

How is it even possible for Windows 8 to be this bad?
1:11 PM Mr. Silver
Well, there was this programmer walking down the road with a guitar and he got to this crossroads.  And a guy standing there got to talking to him and told the programmer that he could make him famous with a guitar.  And the programmer said that he was just carrying the guitar for a friend.  So the stranger said well what do you got?  And the guy said he was a programmer for Microsoft...so, they worked out a deal...

1:12 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol



Mr. Blue

How much would a wakizashi run? I want it to be pre-war at least.

3:07 PM Mr. Gray

In that case.....a lot.

3:08 PM Mr. Brown

About $20,000.

I figured I would throw in a big price.

LOL

3:08 PM Mr. Silver
A wakizashi would run about 2.5 feet into a human abdomen and out the other side.
More or less depending on the design, angle of thrust, and the skill and strength of the swordsman.
3:09 PM Mr. Brown

Yeah you hit that backbone and oh boy.

3:11 PM Mr. Blue

Here's one, pre-1900, for $5000.

3:11 PM Mr. Brown

Yeah that's more like it.

3:11 PM Mr. Brown

Well, an actual famous/famous-owner one would go for 20,000.

3:12 PM Mr. Blue

Did Abe Lincoln own any wakizashis?

3:15 PM Mr. Gray

No, he was an axe man...didn't you see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? Sheesh!



Mr. Blue

Do you know anything about like.. lumber or timber prices Mr. Amethyst?

Like how much is a tree worth to a tree cutter if it's a cherry or oak and pretty old/large?

10:59 AM Mr. Amethyst

No idea. I used to know stuff like that.

10:59 AM Mr. Blue

Hmm

I want to buy 2 acres next to ours. It's unbuildable, but I don't know what the timber would cost.

What say you, Mr. Silver?

I don't know what kind of offer to even make on it. It's just sitting there and it's been untouched since I was born, and I don't want anyone to mess with it or clear it.

11:20 AM Mr. Silver
Land grab, eh?
What's unbuildable about it?
11:26 AM Mr. Blue

There's an old mine on the edge of the property and a stream that runs through the middle of it and no utilities.

11:27 AM Mr. Silver
So 50,000 tons of fill and it would be nice.
11:27 AM Mr. Blue

That and re-routing the stream.

It's kind of rectangle shaped, and the stream runs the long-way through the middle. That is fed by a pond, so it's always running.

11:34 AM Mr. Blue

(sends drawing) Like so. The L-shaped property is mine right now.

11:36 AM Mr. Silver
I see the mine as a vast hole that was dug for mithril until it hit a balrog.
11:36 AM Mr. Blue

It's weird.

It is just a big hole. I thought it was just a strip mine that needed filled in, but we found rails that go into it, and a neighbor said that it went pretty deep into the hillside.

11:37 AM Mr. Silver
(“Lovecraft Alert” starts flashing)
11:37 AM Mr. Blue

And nobody knows if they properly filled it in, or just covered the entrance. Probably the latter. It's heavily wooded now; the trees are 50 years old at least, but it was cleared out at one time.

11:45 AM Mr. Silver
So...just curious...do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, dreaming that you heard singing and ancient instruments, but when awake you just hear the normal sounds of night though you swear you think you see lights glowing out by the mine?
11:46 AM Mr. Amethyst

Once after drinking about half a bottle of absinthe for me...

11:46 AM Mr. Silver
Mr. Amethyst - "And I don't even have a mine."
11:46 AM Mr. Amethyst

Exactly.

11:47 AM Mr. Silver
By the time Mr. Blue is in Bellevue Psychiatric and the cops go out, they'll find no trace there ever was a mine.
11:57 AM Mr. Blue

Across the lane was a kosher pig farm. And the barn thing they kept the pigs in stood until a few years ago. Though I think the pig farm stopped operating at least 75 years ago.

11:58 AM Mr. Silver
(“Lovecraft Flags” go up)
Narrator "Oh, the tales about that land go back to the 1600s, and if the diary of Van Blauw is to be believed, the redskins would tell tales of it that their grandfathers grandfathers would only whisper. To be sure, no savage would settle there, or stay overnight..."
11:58 AM Mr. Blue

I found a gully with a bunch of old, old large glass bottles labeled Clorox. I assumed they used it to clean/sterilize?

12:00 PM Mr. Silver
(“Lovecraft Rockets” launch and burst)
Oh yeah...you're F-ing doomed.
12:00 PM Mr. Blue

And before *that*.. it was just a run-of-the-mill Indian burial ground. ;-)

12:01 PM Mr. Silver
"Young Mr. Blue scoffed at the so-called curse, of course. What man of reason wouldn't?"
"And yet, his obsession with that little stretch of land with its strange tree, as large as an oak but strangely more phenotypic of a cherry, could not be sated."
12:24 PM Mr. Silver
"The tree.  That curious tree.  Blue destroyed it at the end, as he collapsed into madness, screaming of unearthly things and cursing "the old red man" as he dismembered it with a chainsaw."
12:24 PM Mr. Amethyst

I want to read that story.

12:25 PM Mr. Blue

Is this based on the “Colour Out of Space”?
12:33 PM Mr. Silver
@Amethyst Working on it.
@Blue No...whole cloth after reading all his stuff for 25 years.
12:34 PM Mr. Blue

Ahh

12:39 PM Mr. Silver
"That the tree was his to destroy, there can be no doubt.  The property was his, bought and paid for. And though he was loud in his cursing, well then so was the chainsaw.  It was the smell that brought the police.  Downwind, the odor of chlorine had become miasmic.  And in combination with the brash theft of several cases of bleach from a shop the night before, the conclusions of the local police were, unfortunately, inevitable."
12:47 PM Mr. Silver
I was rather enjoying that...too bad it's a crap day for writing.

12:47 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL