Day 244 - Why Is There No Statute Of Limited Indignation?, Everyone Should Have A "Drunk List", Bad Smoke Bad Fire Bad Steak Just-Stupid Neighbors, The Mistakes Of Snakes, and Not All Mutts Are Adorable

12:57 PM Mr. Brown

Cool

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/investigations/exclusive-feds-to-dig-in-oakland-township-today-for-remains-of-jimmy-hoffa/-/1719314/20594416/-/n7hfla/-/index.html?hpt=us_bn9

1:01 PM Mr. Silver

That’s the second Hoffa “aging-mobster” tip in this past year.

1:17 PM Mr. Blue

Why are they still looking for him?

1:18 PM Mr. Silver

Why are they still looking for Nazis?

1:18 PM Mr. Blue

Because they're still alive.

1:19 PM Mr. Silver

I had a brief chat about this with Mr. Mustard.

They caught a Nazi living in the US last week.

1:22 PM Mr. Silver

I'm looking at it and thinking "It’s not really confirmed, but he probably did bad stuff…while in a war...for a few years until the war ended when he was 26.  He's kept his nose clean and has most probably been a productive non-atrocity-committing person for 68 years.  He's 94.  Almost all of his contemporaries that survived, and even the majority of their kids, are long dead.  Maybe...just maybe...we could let it slide."

1:23 PM Mr. Blue

It’s not like people were jumping for joy to join the SS

Most were conscripted, most were just following orders.  If they hadn't followed orders they would have been imprisoned or killed.

1:24 PM Mr. Silver

The clear difference is that no war crimes or atrocities were perpetrated by any American, French, British, Russian or other allied troops during WWII.

...

(SNERK!)

Haha! Sorry!

1:25 PM Mr. Blue

Right!

The question then becomes: "if your orders are to commit heinous crimes, how culpable are you if you follow them?"  Well, based on what our own soldiers did in places like Vietnam and Iraq and Afghanistan by just 'following orders', apparently not at all culpable.

12:37 PM Mr. Silver

"Depardieu Nearing Completion of Drunk Bucket List" 

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/21/french-actor-depardieu-banned-from-driving-after-drunken-fall-from-scooter/

12:38 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

12:38 PM Mr. Gray

LOL

12:39 PM Mr. Silver

"His shortlist includes falling into pigsty while chugging a bottle of Cabernet, and peeing on a president, monarch, or prime minister."

12:50 PM Mr. Brown

Depardieu is somebody to party with, like Rick James

12:51 PM Mr. Amethyst

Depardieu, Johnny Depp and I walk into a bar…

12:51 PM Mr. Silver

Fall...fall into a bar. 

12:52 PM Mr. Amethyst

Oh... Yea… Well, you know.  LOL

12:52 PM Mr. Silver

If you're gonna tell these stories, details count.

12:52 PM Mr. Brown

Well, to get it completely right:

Depardieu and you fall into a bar, and Depp walked into the wall until he found the door.

12:53 PM Mr. Silver

He has a point, Mr. Amethyst.  Rewrites are in order.

Mr. Silver

So...3 lessons from yesterday.

Starting with #3...someone in my neighborhood is panic prone.   

12:56 PM Mr. Amethyst

Mrs. Amethyst?

Wait.

Go on.

12:57 PM Mr. Silver

I fear it may cost me money, but we'll see.

12:59 PM Mr. Blue

Why?

1:01 PM Mr. Silver

Lesson #2 - Anyone that puts out a full web article explaining how short-rib meat makes the best steak for grilling in the world and writes it eloquently enough to trick me into trying it needs to be sat down in front of a real steak so he can experience what food tastes like.

1:02 PM Mr. Brown

LOL

1:08 PM Mr. Silver

I don't throw out beef lightly.

Even if the cut is a disaster, you can usually make something of it.

But of the 3 pieces, 1 3/4 is bagged in the fridge waiting for garbage night.

1:09 PM Mr. Silver

So...lesson #1

1:10 PM Mr. Silver

While enjoying a beer and enjoying a relaxing fire in your backyard chiminea, don't put in a large cardboard tube.

1:11 PM Mr. Blue

What’d the cardboard tube do?

1:13 PM Mr. Silver

Smoked for 2-4 minutes until it hit flashpoint and burned normally.  Long enough for the neighbor in lesson #3 to call the fire dept.

1:14 PM Mr. Blue

Nice.

1:14 PM Mr. Silver

Who arrived in the neighborhood and had to search all over for the deadly inferno which was long gone.

However I was told that every time you have a fire like this, you have to get a permit.

I was in total compliance except a signature and a tube.

The spokesman even tested the heat against my fence "That's too close!  Wait… No... Nevermind."

1:20 PM Mr. Blue

So if you burn tubes you need a permit, or if you have a chiminea thing you need a permit?

1:20 PM Mr. Silver

If you have a “recreational fire” in town.

1:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

Who told you that?

If you go on the local website, it says a recreational fire after 5:30pm requires no permit.

1:21 PM Mr. Silver

The fireman in my back yard mentioned it.

1:21 PM Mr. Amethyst

He's retarded.

I burn all the time.

Oh wait...maybe I'm township.

1:22 PM Mr. Silver

Probably. Anyway, he said it wasn't a big deal, really.  Safe area, regulation seasoned wood.  Properly attended.  Hose in range. 

1:23 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice.

1:23 PM Mr. Silver

But, get a permit next time and no cardboard tubes.

1:23 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

1:23 PM Mr. Silver

"Well, it was the only one I had."

"What was it?"

"Big one from a butcher paper roll."

"Ah. I do need your name address and phone for the record."

"K, come on in."

Mrs Silver - "Sweetie?  I'm stuck on this game."

"I'm busy with the fire department."

MS - "Where are they?"

"In the house, Sweetie...in the kitchen."

"Evening, ma'am."

MS - "Augh!"

So...

I'm wondering if Lesson #3 is going to get me nailed with a nice big 'False Alarm' fine even though the guy told me all was cool. And how bitter I'll get to be considering I know there's other firepits in the neighborhood and they don't get calls.

(or permits)

1:30 PM Mr. Blue

I doubt it. It's not your fault some idiot called the fire department for no reason.

1:30 PM Mr. Amethyst

Mhm.

My neighbors know better.

1:30 PM Mr. Blue

I’m guessing your neighbor isn't paranoid as much as he's a dick that doesn't like smoke.

1:31 PM Mr. Silver

There was no wind; its not like it was blowing on them.

1:32 PM Mr. Blue

It's (town).

1:33 PM Mr. Amethyst

^

1:33 PM Mr. Blue

When I was 6, I was playing catch in someone's back yard with a Nerf ball and it rolled into the neighbor's yard and they called the police.

1:33 PM Mr. Silver

I've seen full blown conflagrations ignored in this town.

1:36 PM Mr. Silver

Gray, Green and I drove past 12' tall walls of orange fire and black smoke across from the convenience store on the south side of town.  Super busy time of day. We saw no one in attendance or even watching. It filled the sky with smoke that was visible from the other side of town.  Not a peep from the fire department.

1:41 PM Mr. Silver

Another time, opposite end of town, I saw a guy's woodpile burning hotly and working up to a huge blaze.  I pulled over to get out to warn them since it was under trees and right next to the house. He hadn't seen it til I pointed it out so it couldn't be a hoax, and he saw me get out of the car, so I obviously hadn't set it. Reaction? The guy talked to me like I was intruding on his private business.

1:41 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

1:41 PM Mr. Silver

(back in the car)  Mrs Silver - "What did he say?"

"He was an asshole.  I hope his house burns down."

1:43 PM Mr. Blue

Maybe he had a permit.

1:43 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

Thank you, Mr Blue. Got me laughing!

1:43 PM Mr. Blue

Hahaha

1:46 PM Mr. Silver

LOL!

Mr. Silver

Morning

9:10 AM Mr. Amethyst

Mrning

9:23 AM Mr. Silver

Not a single o was given...

9:24 AM Mr. Amethyst

LMFA-

Miss Amethyst met her first snake yesterday.

9:24 AM Mr. Silver

Did she go all Hercules on it?

9:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

She grabbed a log off the wood pile and there was a 3 ft watersnake. It was rather large and struck at her; he didn’t make it after he struck at me.

9:28 AM Mr. Silver

Yup...what did it expect, eh?

9:28 AM Mr. Amethyst

Yeah. LOL

9:31 AM Mr. Silver

"Hiss!  Stay away from me, pink frilly giant!  Stay aw-HOLY CRAP IT'S A BIGGER ONE (splatch)"

9:32 AM Mr. Amethyst

Hahahaha

I felt bad but he wouldn’t leave. It kept following me around and striking. I’ve never seen a snake go after something that’s my size instead of trying to get away.

9:34 AM Mr. Silver

You missed the "Hey guys, watch this" he hissed to the other snakes giggling in the woodpile.

9:35 AM Mr. Amethyst

Right

Mr. Gray

http://www.armstrongmywire.com/news/read/category/Top%20News/article/ap-beagleboxerbasset_wins_worlds_ugliest_do-ap-2

Looks like a Chinese crested to me. They are all ugly.

3:34 PM Mr. Silver

What's wrong with Walle?

3:35 PM Mr. Gray

I don’t see it. Rascal is far uglier.

3:35 PM Mr. Silver

Walle is the most normal looking one I've seen so far, and he won.

3:35 PM Mr. Gray

http://www.google.com/search?q=Walle+ugly+dog&client=firefox-a&hs=kjp&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=ivnsu&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=f_zFUYznMdKC0QHsj4G4Bw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ

3:35 PM Mr. Silver

"World's Ugliest Dog: Blind Judges Edition"

3:42 PM Mr. Silver

Sorry...Walle is just not ugly.

There's a much uglier one in my neighborhood.

It's a mutt mix of a toy poodle, and a Welsh marsh tick, and a Vietnamese “blech”.

3:43 PM Mr. Amethyst

I didn't read blech. I thought that said “bitch”.

3:44 PM Mr. Silver

This dog is about the size and consistency of a loaf of bread.

It's vaguely egg-shaped with the point forward and the round end in back.

It has stubby little legs and a goat tail.

A rat head with poodle ears.

And the overall fur effect is that it's body is made of soft white foam with curls of balding old-man hair and fuzz that looks glued on.  Its like the shape was coated with Elmer's Glue, and then the dog was dropped into a box of hair, and then it was all roughly patted down flat to the body.

Day 243 - It's As Safe As Bobsledding, "But The Middle-Sized Galaxy Was Too Cold...", Cosmopolitan's Best Hair & Makeup Tips For Hand-To-Hand Combat, and IT For Existential Dilemmas

2:44 PM Mr. Silver

http://www.wired.com/autopia/2013/06/flying-bike/

2:46 PM Mr. Silver

"After the first head-on crash with an obstacle, the EMT responders dubbed the vehicle "The Arm Shredder"...a nickname it retains to this day."

2:51 PM Mr. Gray

The next step should be jets and a motorcycle.

2:52 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

2:52 PM Mr. Blue

Wake me up when I can teleport anywhere on Earth.

I’m sick of using locomotion.

2:52 PM Mr. Amethyst

Yup.

2:53 PM Mr. Silver

Not even a hyperloop?

In May 2013, Musk said that the hyperloop would be like a "cross between a Concorde and a railgun and an air hockey table",[7] but no further details have been released.

Sounds safe.

"How do you stop?"

"Well...I still have to sort that out..."

2:56 PM Mr. Blue

Stuff me in a red, white & blue cannon and shoot me to my destination.

2:56 PM Mr. Amethyst

'MERICA!

2:57 PM Mr. Blue

How would a human be able to withstand the G forces that hyperloop thing would create?

2:57 PM Mr. Amethyst

Flight suits?

2:58 PM Mr. Blue

Would there be a way to like pressurize the cabin enough that the outside would be moving but the inside it'd feel like it you're sitting still?  I think I’ve already put as much thought into it as that Musk guy has.

3:01 PM Mr. Gray

Bet he got a grant for that idea and is kicking back on a beach somewhere doing "research" thinking about it.

3:02 PM Mr. Blue

Yeah

3:34 PM Mr. Silver

"Picture an elevator in Los Angeles going to the top of a BAM coated slide that is 30 stories high.  You push off, lie back, and relax...or alternately scream...all the way to San Francisco in under a half hour."

3:54 PM Mr. Silver

http://science.time.com/2013/06/13/meet-the-itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-galaxy/?hpt=hp_t5

4:07 PM Mr. Blue

Mr. Silver, is a normal galaxy so chaotic in the denser parts (like the middle of the Milky Way) that it'd be unlikely to support life?

4:10 PM Mr. Silver

The middles are full of black holes…plus all that radiation from so many systems…  We're safer out here, yes.

4:11 PM Mr. Silver

Expanding the "Goldilocks Zone" concept of a solar system to the scale of a galaxy, we're in a good spot.

4:11 PM Mr. Blue

So a smaller galaxy like that one might have a better chance of supporting life?

4:11 PM Mr. Silver

Not too shabby.

4:11 PM Mr. Blue

Cool

4:11 PM Mr. Silver

However, one good supernova in the wrong place…fry.

Mr. Yellow

I was telling Mr. Silver that I messed up my own story idea for Heroes Unlimited because I let the players roll randomly for their super heroes, so have to change my idea around.

It's not a huge deal; I just liked my first story line idea.

2:07 PM Mr. Silver

"Everyone's character's ready?  OK...you're all asleep in the Fortress of Heroes when a glowing pink asteroid hits and makes the following changes to your characters so they'll fit my story."

2:11 PM Mr. Gray

"Ok....first of all, since it was pink...you all have the ballet skill.....next, fashion sense.....oh, and don’t forget the interior decorating skill too!!"

2:12 PM Mr. Silver

"OMG...this asteroid...was it also cute and sparkly?!?"

2:12 PM Mr. Yellow

Haha

Hahaha

2:12 PM Mr. Silver

"Why...yes...the crater does seem to have a lot of glitter in it too."

2:13 PM Mr. Yellow

The people who made random rolled aliens, rolled the reason they were coming here is as champions of good. So they are intergalactic cops.

2:13 PM Mr. Silver

Space Fuzz on Earth

2:14 PM Mr. Yellow

So I'll have them chase a fallen Cosmo Knight. Both ships will crash into the mall where our wannabe heroes are shopping

2:14 PM Mr. Silver

"Saving the Earth, one fashion closeout sale at a time."

2:15 PM Mr. Yellow

Well, saving their waistlines when the food court is destroyed. I'm hoping to kill off some friends of the characters with the fiery explosion.

2:15 PM Mr. Silver

"Cosmo" Knight...a super warrior who gives beauty, relationship, diet and sex tips between attacks.

2:17 PM Mr. Silver

"Before we fight, little Earth heroes, we should take this 100 point test to see how compatible our fighting styles are!"

2:19 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO Mr. Silver.

"...this guy in tights runs up and calls you fat and shatters your self esteem. You'll never recover and will spend years in therapy. What are you going to do now, hero?!"

2:21 PM Mr. Silver

"So!  My lipstick strike was not enough to slow you down!  Well, here comes a move that would thrill your man in the sack if I wasn't going to destroy you with it!"

2:23 PM Mr. Silver

"Ha!  This simple diet food will make you go from Cow to Wow!  (hypersonic pomegranate juice blast!)"

2:25 PM Mr. Gray

LOL

Still laughing about the "Cosmo"knight

2:26 PM Mr. Silver

(Hero huddle.  Captain Epic) "This 'guy' is starting to creep me out."

2:26 PM Mr. Yellow

lol

2:26 PM Mr. Silver

(Miss Wonderful) "I'm taking notes, myself."

2:27 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO

2:46 PM Mr. Yellow

It should be an interesting first night.

3:31 PM Mr. Yellow

If the players defeat the fallen Cosmo Knight, then the current one will pay them the large reward for his death or capture and return the corpse and his sword to wherever.

That would give the group money to start their own organization:

“The Cleveland Steamers”

3:38 PM Mr. Silver

That sounds like a euphemism for something you're required to carry a baggie for when walking your dog.

3:39 PM Mr. Yellow

No, it is taking a big old dump on the person's chest!

“The Rusty Trombones”?

If they form an organization I am sure their name will be "interesting". If they do not just split the cash and go their own ways, that is. So I'll have to keep trying to get them together every game.

3:43 PM Mr. Silver

"Cower, evil-doers, before the might of 'We Didn't Do It'."

"That's a strange team name."

"It helps with the authorities after mass destruction if they question Bastian of Truth over there."

"Clever."

"I don't like the name!"

3:48 PM Mr. Yellow

Hehe

3:49 PM Mr. Silver

"Of course you don't, Bastian...you're so uptight you won't even spell your hero name with an O."

"That would be LYING!"

"Um...good guys..."

"Bastian and Bastion sound the same and your hero name makes more sense with the O...using your real name is just dumb."

"But TRUTHFUL!"

"Could we fight please?  We have a death ray to steal and you guys are in the way."

"Oh...yeah.  Prepare to face 'We Didn't Do It'!"

3:53 PM Mr. Yellow

Haha

2:48 PM Mr. Silver

"Hi, for some reason this is Milton Brown. I don't know if my laptop just crashed or what.  Could you check please?"

2:49 PM Mr. Yellow

Haha

2:49 PM Mr. Gray

For some reason?

LOL

2:49 PM Mr. Yellow

:-D

2:49 PM Mr. Silver

Yup...word for word.

Day 242 - As Well As All Other Scenarios Including The Control Group, I Invoke The Right To Use No Bear Puns In This Title, "Kiss Me You Don't Exist", Can't Fold Can't Color, Sanguine Sports For The Bloodthirsty Knight, Adventures Of Miss Amethyst, and The Spirit World Wants To Get You Naked

11:00 AM Mr. Silver

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-06/sleep-deprived-men-are-really-bad-judging-who-wants-sleep-them

"This down from 'generally bad' when fully awake and aware."

"On a related note, one or two bracing drinks can plummet the ratings into the 'downright awful' range."

11:02 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

11:05 AM Mr. Silver

"Researchers found that even when test women were instructed to approach and tell a man they were interested, 90% of men were confused, and a full 50% asked if it was a gag."

11:09 AM Mr. Silver

"I dunno, it was just...weird...you know?" reported Vincent A, one of the test subjects. 

11:23 AM Mr. Silver

Nice topic...let's see how Mr. Blue's bear rates:

http://www.popsci.com/science/gallery/2013-06/bear-species-order-quality

11:25 AM Mr. Gray

“The American black bear.  The friendliest of all bears.”

That explains why he likes to check in on Mr. Blue so much

"Hey Human!  How ya doing?  I smell something tasty around here!'

11:26 AM Mr. Gray

“It's no danger to humans at all, really; it tends to run away when surprised. At worst, it might yell, which is scary, because it's very big, but not dangerous. It also likes to get drunk, which is an endearing quality in a bear.”

There ya go, Blue ....have a brew with your pal.  Set one out as an experiment and see what happens.

11:27 AM Mr. Blue

I got right between the mom and its cubs and the mom just ran away.

11:28 AM Mr. Amethyst

Going to get its gun.

11:33 AM Mr. Silver

“Yet in the wild, sloth bears are highly aggressive; they'll attack humans without any real provocation, though they typically don't hunt or eat them.”

11:47 AM Mr. Blue

They’re goofy looking.

11:54 AM Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ursus_thibetanus_3_%28Wroclaw_zoo%29.JPG this bear literally looks like a man in a costume.

12:20 PM Mr. Silver

Yeah...The elusive "Ill-Fitting-Bear-Suit Bear"

12:35 PM Mr. Blue

It looks like one of those Frankenstein costumes where the eye holes are low, like down in the white area on the chest

I think I can see a zipper on this bear.

12:04 PM Mr. Mustard

I'll have to stop in an Irish Bar, and say to the first lady, 'Kiss Me I'm Irish!!!'
and see if I get beaten up.

12:05 PM Mr. Silver

"Kiss me I'm German" doesn't work...something lost in translation, apparently.

12:08 PM Mr. Mustard

We need new translators then.

12:11 PM Mr. Mustard

"Kiss me I'm Elvis" didn't work either.

12:11 PM Mr. Silver

It's all about the hair and rhinestones. You needed to prep.

12:56 PM Mr. Silver

Hmmm...there are no cowboys made out of rhinestones on Google image search.

12:56 PM Mr. Mustard

Poor Glen.

12:57 PM Mr. Silver

That song makes no sense...unless it's some sort of solipsist commentary.

1:04 PM Mr. Silver

(sings)

"There's been a load of philosophizin'...”

“Truth is on the horizon...”

“But I'm gonna see that reality is a lie...”

“Like a Rhine-stone COW-boy!"

1:13 PM Mr. Silver

Poor Glen.  I had no idea.

2:31 PM Mr. Silver

You can't invent a paper airplane without crushin' a few sheets of paper in frustration...

2:32 PM Mr. Amethyst

Same reason I can’t color eggs.

2:32 PM Mr. Silver

The "One Big Bowl" method failed again this year?"

2:32 PM Mr. Amethyst

Yeah, lol

I use wax and color.

2:33 PM Mr. Silver

"I don't get it...all brown again!  I distinctly put red, blue, green, yellow, orange, pink and purple in this...It's just BS.

2:34 PM Mr. Amethyst

"I can’t color!!!"

2:35 PM Mr. Silver

I'd not mention that when offering tattoo work.  It would just cause a fuss.

2:57 PM Mr. Silver

I’ve made so progress on the plane, looks like.  I need to set up a wind tunnel.

2:59 PM Mr. Silver

I wish Mr. Brown was here so he could talk at it for a while.

2:59 PM Mr. Amethyst

Haha

3:18 PM Mr. Silver

I still want to see a game of "Battle Standard" played.

3:19 PM Mr. Amethyst

Of wha?

3:19 PM Mr. Silver

A game I thought of for SCA fighters.

3:19 PM Mr. Amethyst

OH

3:20 PM Mr. Silver

Football-like, but there’s no ball.  There is a battle standard and end zones though.

3:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice, capture the flag?

3:20 PM Mr. Silver

You score if you can get it across your line, yes.

3:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice!

3:21 PM Mr. Silver

It’s walking speed.  Lateral passes of the standard by hand or throw.

The flag can't touch the ground...dead play.

And, of course, armor and weapons.

Stay in bounds.  Standard bearer can't fight.

3:25 PM Mr. Amethyst

That sounds fun, team size?

3:28 PM Mr. Silver

Not sure.  10-10/15-15/20-20?  It's experimental.

Field size would a factor.

Oh...there's also a resurrection bench, and play doesn't stop until the play is dead or a marshal calls a hold.

3:31 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice.

Penalty box?

3:31 PM Mr. Silver

Oh.  Killing the standard bearer suspends play to pass the standard and form up. 

Interceptions and steals permitted.

3:32 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice.

3:32 PM Mr. Silver

Penalties are possible, yeah.

But putting a team down a man is probably not as good as advancement or passing the standard to the other team.

3:34 PM Mr. Silver

If you think you can get a big enough signup, I'll write up the rules.

Just get someone to film it.  Heh

And on THAT note...

One battle event I got a group of fighters grinning for was the "Bannockburn Bloodbath".

Your team choices: Blue Blooded English, Red Blooded Scots

Standard injury rules are waived.

3:46 PM Mr. Silver

Each fighter has red or blue blood bags attached as follows: crown, left cheek, right cheek, both shoulders, upper arm(side), forearm (side), left and right flank, chest, abdomen.  Shield fighters forfeit locations based on size/handedness. 

You stay in until you lose all hit locations, quit, or someone wins.

3:46 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice.  How about us two-sworders?

3:46 PM Mr. Silver

Two-sword fighters have parts to cut off just like singlestick.

3:47 PM Mr. Amethyst

Nice.  That sounds fun!

3:48 PM Mr. Silver

The idea, of course, is to make a horrifying mess

3:50 PM Mr. Silver

The alternate is all red paint, but the "blue" is a good gag and could placate the Goodtime Slayers who'd bitch it's too "real". 

3:51 PM Mr. Amethyst

Yea, I never understood that.

If you’re hitting me with a stick, it is real. lol

3:56 PM Mr. Silver

We wouldn't want to disturb anyone with realism... Not in a recreation society.  Everyone knows that in the Middle Ages, everyone who was injured in battle laid down quietly and cleanly, or waved their hand and walked off the field to the waiting mass grave hole and climbed in.

4:02 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

1:46 PM Mr. Amethyst

So I’m starting a small comic "Miss Amethyst's Adventures in Mediocrity"

Kind of a mix of Garfield and Calvin and Hobbes

2:05 PM Mr. Amethyst

My front page so far is just her in the highchair - thought bubble "This is bullshit."

2:09 PM Mr. Silver

Good opener.

3:52 PM Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2339579/Maureen-Kelly-missing-Washington-state-forest-going-naked-spiritual-quest-fanny-pack.html

      (I'm still following this story.  :-(  - Mr. Silver)

3:52 PM Mr. Brown

So… took a fanny pack, hmm?

That’s not naked.  Do it right, woman!

3:59 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

3:59 PM Mr. Brown

It’s also not good to do that in general. 

Some horny guys probably took her away.  

Your spiritual journey has taken you to Hank's garage.

4:02 PM Mr. Silver

She could, in fact, still be on the quest...

4:02 PM Mr. Amethyst

For the Hairy Grail?

4:03 PM Mr. Silver

On the other hand, the headline "Bear found with nothing but fanny pack, Swiss army knife and compass in stomach" comes to mind.

4:03 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

4:04 PM Mr. Silver

Having completed a non-nude spirit quest that took a year of prep...well...I hope she makes it.

4:04 PM Mr. Amethyst

I need one of those.

4:05 PM Mr. Silver

"Lost in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest, the search has expanded to the neighboring Bronson Pinchot State Forest and the French Stewart Township Park."

4:06 PM Mr. Brown

I don't understand a naked spirit quest.

I mean, I think Native Americans still took clothes.

lol

4:07 PM Mr. Silver

As you've never been called on a spirit quest, how could you understand it?

4:08 PM Mr. Silver

We had a woman at a previous job that just stood up, declared she'd had a spiritual vision and walked out.  She disappeared for all we knew, but she ended up in Portugal.

4:08 PM Mr. Brown

I’ve gone on lots of drives to no particular place.  I just kept driving.  I have always wandered through the woods as a child.

4:10 PM Mr. Silver

And yet, Mr. Brown, that's not God, angels, loas, totems, ancestors, or other denizens of the spirit world calling to you with instructions.

That's “wandering about”.

4:11 PM Mr. Brown

Well, I’ve always been called to the woods.

4:11 PM Mr. Silver

(sigh)

Does that allure include voices or visions or messages or compelling synchronistic elements compelling you to take action or impressing urgency or great importance?

I've always been attracted to the tops of wooded hills and mountains - never had a vision about them

4:12 PM Mr. Amethyst

I’m always called to my couch.

4:12 PM Mr. Brown

Yeah, I just always feel like I need to be in the woods.  No visions other than thoughts of wolves.

4:13 PM Mr. Silver

"Amethyst...Amethyst...this is the Angel of the Lord!  Be not afraid!  Turn to Comedy Central...'Half-Baked' is coming on."

4:13 PM Mr. Amethyst

Psh!  Always Animal Planet – “River Monsters”.

4:13 PM Mr. Silver

"Get two beers before you go...so commandeth The Lord."

4:13 PM Mr. Amethyst

Haha!

4:14 PM Mr. Silver

Try this on Mrs. Amethyst.

You'll meet God right afterwards.

4:14 PM Mr. Amethyst

Right.

Sometimes I consider slipping her LSD.

4:14 PM Mr. Brown

“God told me that BJ's are how you get to Heaven, dear.”

4:14 PM Mr. Amethyst

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

4:15 PM Mr. Silver

Sadly, I’m guessing that line has been used in some cult situations.

4:17 PM Mr. Brown

I wish that line would work for my wife.

LOL

It seems like as soon as a girl gets married, bye bye BJ.

Gray, Zane

Seems pretty...evil, though.

4:17 PM Mr. Amethyst

If you believe the invisible man in the sky will cure your child’s dysentery and medicine is evil, then exploiting faith to gain blowjobs is a good business plan.

4:18 PM Mr. Brown

LOL

4:18 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO

Agreed!

4:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

11th Commandment "Thou shalt open thy mouth, close thine eyes and thou shalt get a big surprise."