Sunday, June 30, 2013

Day 241 - Natural Flavoring For Unnatural Tastes, A Half Dozen Plasma Glazed, Drinking Problems Are So Passé, Unholy Fools, Machine Gun Ma Hoover, Your Hard Drive Might Be Eaten By A Grue, The Trick To The Easy-To-Remember Password, Abominable Snow Deaths, and T(its) & A(magotchi)

3:11 PM Mr. Gray
So why do they bother putting "natural flavor" on a drink. I mean I'd be more concerned about unnatural flavor. "Why...why does this taste like pork?"
3:13 PM Mr. Blue
Yeah… And it's not like gross things can't come from nature.
Naturally flavored!” (in small print) “With trichinosis and mercury”
3:15 PM Mr. Gray
LOL good point
"And other natural flavors!"
"Umm....pumice?"
3:21 PM Mr. Gray
I bet if you made a bacon soda it would sell
Then could even put "Natural flavor" on the side for a laugh.
Definitely not a 0 calorie product
3:22 PM Mr. Brown
It already exists
3:23 PM Mr. Gray
Dammit....once again, a good idea swept from beneath me.
3:24 PM Mr. Brown
Um.  Scary flavors.  Ranch dressing soda, buffalo wing soda, peanut butter & jelly soda.
I want to try these, although I may throw up on the ranch dressing.
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
Gross.
3:44 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah.
I would have to try it, but I probably won't like it.
Hehe



3:51 PM Mr. Silver
"Military to fund plasma 'Death Donut' launcher."
"This could revolutionize projected energy weapons research...and maybe produce commercial energy."
3:55 PM Mr. Silver
"When we were brought in to see something about the future of limitless energy...or something...it was egghead talk...they shot this energy donut thing.  And our first thoughts were 'Hey!  Remember the machine gun thing that shot little light rings near the end of Flash Gordon?'  We were very excited!"
3:58 PM Mr. Gray
LOL



1:53 PM Mr. Brown
2:06 PM Mr. Silver
Sounds like my Misto plan.  Did I have that chat in here when anyone was working? 
2:14 PM Mr. Blue
It’d be safer for him to butt chug it.
2:15 PM Mr. Brown
Yes.
LOL
2:15 PM Mr. Amethyst
WTF?
What is going on?
2:16 PM Mr. Blue
It’s an article about some guy that vaporizes his alcohol with dry ice and inhales it so he doesn't have to drink calories.
2:16 PM Mr. Amethyst
That makes no sense.
Wow
2:17 PM Mr. Blue
Mr. Brown has been a butt-chugger since way back.
2:20 PM Mr. Silver
I wouldn't vaporize it.  My scheme was a couple shots in a Misto sprayer and you just spray it in.  Breathe it?  Ick!
2:20 PM Mr. Silver
I decided to call it a "Buzz Freshener".
2:21 PM Mr. Blue
Wouldn’t that take a while to spray it in?
2:21 PM Mr. Silver
No.  A Misto is pressurized.  You pump it up.
So it makes an aerosol, not a vapor, of the hooch and spreads it around in your mouth when you push the button.
2:22 PM Mr. Amethyst
Not a bad idea.
2:23 PM Mr. Silver
Instead of swallowing and processing it through your tummy, it’ll just absorb right into the capillaries in there.
You drink a lot less, shorter duration, and quicker action...theoretically.
2:24 PM Mr. Blue
Wouldn’t it become unpressurized when sprayed out?
2:24 PM Mr. Silver
Yup...then you pump it again.
2:24 PM Mr. Blue
So you're still only spraying a small amount of alcohol mist in your mouth.
2:25 PM Mr. Silver
Right.
And you are not vaporizing it and breathing alcohol air.  That guy is a loon.
You get to taste it too...assuming you like the tastes of your booze.
It strikes me it would be very hard to have too much unless you, like, unscrewed it and drank it from the Misto.
2:37 PM Mr. Brown
Great picture of Megan McCain.
LOL
2:43 PM Mr. Silver
Yup...classy.
2:45 PM Mr. Silver
"They said I couldn't pound down one of these bottles in the promo shots.  But as soon as we're done, it's Drunk:30!"



Mr. Silver
I told Mr. Green when he wanted to play an evil character, that it is evil in a lesser sense, and the general guide is: "The 7 deadly sins are a good Friday night out for you.  Fight, binge, stiff the waitress, seduce the innkeeper's wife...good times." 
1:17 PM Mr. Silver
"As for being a True sociopath?  Well, you'll end up dead or in jail very fast if you don't have the power/position to back it up, and you 'graduate' the character to NPC villain."
Mr. Silver
The last seriously Evil character with any staying power that I recall was a Paladin of Violence.  He remained viable in the group for 4-5 sessions.
1:21 PM Andy
Heh
1:22 PM Mr. Silver
He was great.  "All problems can be solved through the power of Violence"
As the hand and voice of that god, he would prove his faith in creepy ways; the god granting the special effects, of course.
They could never really grasp how he would do some things.
Andy
Such as?
1:25 PM Mr. Silver
They wanted to set a building on fire.  While they were discussing it, he started beating on the walls with his weapon screaming "BURN!  BURN!" at it.
"You hear him stop screaming.  When you turn to look, he's panting heavily with an insane look on his face, but the coach house is blazing."
Mr. Silver
He slapped around an old lord till he got up the gumption to put on his armor and lead a resistance.  Then later killed the same lord to express his irritation about something else he should have done. 
"You shouldn't have killed him!"
"He needed to learn!"
"Well now he's dead!"
"He's not getting away THAT easily!"
And then he started beating on the corpse "LIVE!!!  LIVE, YOU BASTARD!!!!  LIVE!!!"
It would have worked...
Except the party had had enough and they tried to take him out.
They beat on each other for a while and he ran for it.
Last they saw him he was standing in the river, beating on the water and screaming at it to heal him.
Love a good monomaniac/holy fool in a party.   
Granted they aren't all so flamboyant.



12:07 PM Mr. Mustard
 “fired gunshots at her sons' feet when she was angry, and would often remind people that she shot and killed a man who broke into her home in 2006. She claimed self-defense and was never charged in that killing.”
Mr. Silver
(voiceover) "Another legend of the ‘Moms of the Old West’.  Wait!  This was in the 2000s???"
What's this story from?
12:08 PM Mr. Mustard
http://www.armstrongmywire.com/news/read/category/Top%20News/article/ap-apnewsbreak_prayers_before_sc_woman_kill-ap
12:08 PM Mr. Mustard
MaMa knows best!
12:10 PM Mr. Silver
There was a prohibition Machine gun "Ma" something, wasn't there?
12:10 PM Mr. Mustard
'Ma Barker' I think.
The Death of Ma Barker
It's believed by many that the Ma Barker image was originated by J. Edgar Hoover's FBI in an effort to justify the killing of an old lady. She has been portrayed as ...”
Good ole Hoover.
12:16 PM Mr. Silver
"It's believed by many that the Ma Barker image was originated by J. Edgar Hoover's FBI in an effort to justify the clothing he'd wear in private."
12:16 PM Mr. Mustard
Heh heh. “With his buddy Truman Capote.”
12:19 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh



4:09 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe... Scareware on this agent's computer warning him to scan now because he's "about to be attacked by a grue."
"Seriously?  G-R-U-E?"
"Yeah."
4:10 PM Mr. Yellow
Hahaha
4:10 PM Mr. Silver
"A grue is a monster from an old computer game series named Zork.  Wow."
"Seriously?" 
"Yeah!” (I avoided saying things like "ballsy", and "smart asses" at this point)
4:10 PM Mr. Yellow
Yes!  I played Zork!
4:11 PM Mr. Silver
Funny.
4:16 PM Mr. Yellow
Better defeat that grue so you can go home.
4:16 PM Mr. Silver
Just turn on a light.
Hehe
4:17 PM Mr. Silver
"Ok.  Click Start...then Run.  In the open line type "light torch" and hit enter.  Ok.  You should be fine now."
4:19 PM Mr. Blue
Nice.



8:50 AM Mr. Blue
Who the hell writes down a password on a piece of paper and forgets it?
8:52 AM Mr. Silver
Heh
8:54 AM Mr. Silver
"I'll make it something easy to remember, like the 1st, 3rd, 9th and then 6th letters of 'excelsior' spelled out on phone keys."
8:55 AM Mr. Blue
LOL



Mr. Gray
Mauled by a yeti is not listed.  I’m disappointed.
2:17 PM Mr. Silver
You would think it would be there.
Perhaps the yeti just picks people up and hurls them off and nobody sees it.
22 “unknown”, 15 “disappeared”, 48 "fall", 51 "avalanche"
2:20 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL 7 "fell into a pit".
2:26 PM Mr. Gray
Unknown = Yeti
No witnesses, so...
2:29 PM Mr. Silver
"You say a 9 to 11' tall muscular ape-man ran at him, howling, picked him up and threw him 20 yards up and out before he fell 3000' to his death?"
"Yes!"
"Photos?"
"Well...they're kind of blurry...(hands over)"
"(looks) That’s a man in a suit.  Soooooo…Hoaxing us, eh?" 
"A 10’ man in a suit?!  On the slopes of Everest!?!?  Are you insane!"
"I'll put down 'Unknown'."



Mr. Blue
Technology is a wonder.  I love how anytime a new medium comes along, one of the first things that happens is someone makes porn for it.
3:41 PM Mr. Amethyst
Well yeah!
What else is the internet for?
3:41 PM Mr. Blue
Honestly, that's cool.  We all like it.
3:41 PM Mr. Silver
Heh
So we should look for untapped technologies and make porn for it. 
3:43 PM Mr. Silver
"List of computer/internet techs not used for porn yet"
3:43 PM Mr. Amethyst
Strippagatchi”
It’s a keychain game where you grow your own stripper.
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
Feed the plain stripper money and shine lights and stuff, and she gets fuller and dirtier?
3:44 PM Mr. Amethyst
Yup.
3:45 PM Mr. Silver
"Oooh!  Look!  I did it!  It's only day nine, and I was able to get her a pole to swing around on!  (Beep!)  Aww, she got a happy heart."
3:45 PM Mr. Amethyst
lol
3:46 PM Mr. Silver
(Looks over shoulder) "She blonde yet?"
"NO!  I won't let her have the bottle."
"Why?!"
"Honestly I like brown.  Working up to long and curly though."
"Oh, that'll be nice."
3:49 PM Mr. Blue
If you neglect your stripper she gets bruises and track marks and lower back tattoos.
3:50 PM Mr. Silver
"Um...WTF is this?"
"Hmm?"
"There's like a missionary or something waving a bible at her or something and she's crying!"
"Pfft!  Might as well hit the pin reset."
3:53 PM Mr. Amethyst
lol
3:54 PM Mr. Silver
"No way!  I worked on her too long!  As soon as he leaves I'm going to see if she'll take the "art film audition" ad.”

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