Day 90 - No I Can't Explain My International Successes, I Suppose He Might Shoot The Sheriff But The Deputy Has Nothing To Worry About, The Fastest Thing In The Universe, Draws Ratings Like Fresh Poop, His Brain Worked Until The Hormomes Kicked In, A Clockwork Faith, And Hot New Categories of Scattergories

7:15 AM Mr. Silver

I can't understand my own blog traffic

I might have to get some new analytical tools

I have a little giggle over all the stuff I do to put it together, only to get maybe a hit or two a day. 

I put in something a few days back...no hits...

Wake up next morning and just in the "today" range there was suddenly 4 hits from the US, and 4 from Russia?

(shrug)

7:18 AM Mr. Yellow

*shrug*

7:19 AM Mr. Silver

Makes me wonder what they could have searched.

Like the one day I suddenly had 10 from France.

And then never another from France.

7:21 AM Mr. Yellow

Were you talking about surrendering to anything?

“Resistance is exhausting”

7:24 AM Mr. Silver

Perhaps the description of my visit to the famed ‘Arch De Capitulation’

7:24 AM Mr. Yellow

LOL

In Dr Who they have a alien race that is famous for their capitulation to the other races that invade their planet and the best line was  "resistance is exhausting".  I laughed my ass off.

7:29 AM Mr. Silver

Heh

I decided it was something to do with the discussion of a guy's "Golf GPS" and how little sympathy I had for his issue, but I don’t know.

8:07 AM Mr. Gray

I need to go to the to the courthouse to renew my carry permit for my gun.

Which reminds me, can I use you and Mr. Green as references?  I’ll need your street address and phone number.

Hasn’t been renewed since 2004, but that limits my carrying it even for target shooting.

8:09 AM Mr. Silver

Suppose so

You need plain-human references for that?

"I certify that Mr. Gray is largely a responsible person.  Yes, he's flown off the handle and shot up some stuff before, but only when he was sober...so he'll be alright."

"He takes great pride in his collection of weapons and ammunition, especially his prized case of Teflon coated bullets.  I'm glad he's finally taken steps to get a permit for one of them."

"A valued member of the community, he's always happy to help the local kids file down a firing pin properly or assist with a full-auto conversion kit."

8:13 AM Mr. Gray

Perfect!

LOL

8:16 AM Mr. Gray

Sheriff's office will probably contact you just FYI. They usually check those things

8:16 AM Mr. Silver

I'll try to not be "funny"

8:16 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

7:38 AM Mr. Silver

This, BTW, is no surprise to me: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/09/neutrinos-faster-than-light/

8:19 AM Mr. Yellow

I would not be shocked to learn that light is not the fastest thing in the universe.

8:20 AM Mr. Silver

That distinction goes to Mary Alice from my highschool.

 (ba-doom CHISHHHhhhhhh!)

8:20 AM Mr. Gray

LMAO

10:50 AM Mr. Gray

“JACKSONVILLE, Ark. (AP) — A couple featured on the first season of the MTV reality show "16 and Pregnant" have lost their child to the state and face criminal charges after officers serving a search warrant found their home was filled with feces, flies and maggots, police said Thursday. “

MTV sure picks the winners

10:56 AM Mr. Yellow

Sounds like most of the homes in (town)

10:57 AM Mr. Silver

heh

"MTV has retitled the show "Oh, This Will Go Well"

10:58 AM Mr. Gray

LMAO

Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_James_Sidis   Sad...

2:09 PM Mr. Silver

Sad?

Hatin' on the IQ?

2:12 PM Mr. Blue

Nah, the way people treated him

Mr. Silver

“The paper reported Sidis's vows to remain celibate and never to marry, as he said women did not appeal to him. Later he developed a strong affection for a young woman...”

"Women did not appeal to him...and then he turned seventeen...

2:26 PM Mr. Blue

heheheh

2:26 PM Mr. Silver

"His 'Sidis Cootie Principle' is still cited by students to this day."

Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Druze

2:51 PM Mr. Silver

This wiki layout is rather interesting.  More than half devoted to piles of history before actually discussing the faith.

2:54 PM Mr. Silver

"My article on Catholicism will begin, naturally, with an extensive look at the architecture and art of Rome."

2:54 PM Mr. Blue

I didn't get to the end yet but I’m just guessing that not much of the actual faith is known.

Either that or it's evolved too much.

There doesn't seem like there's much of a set doctrine, and it was mostly secretive early on.

3:02 PM Mr. Silver

Eh...plain ol’ mystic stuff so far.

3:03 PM Mr. Blue

Darn, thought maybe it was the ticket

3:07 PM Mr. Silver

"#3. Renunciation of all forms of former worship "

Bit redundant since it's not permitted to convert in.

3:12 PM Mr. Silver

(slow zoom in on a bunch of moustachioed holy men)

“There was me, that is Hamza, and my three druze. The Karova Cafe sold coffee plus...cinnamon, hazelnut...which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-piety.”

Wonder if you gain bad karma for mixing a secretive faith with “A Clockwork Orange”

3:14 PM Mr. Blue

If there is a god he probably has a sense of humor

Mr. Blue

I guess now Ms. Rosebud wants me to come over and play “Scattergories”.

Not my idea of a good time.

1:32 PM Mr. Silver

That'd be a euphemism.

1:33 PM Mr. Blue

A euphemism for a lame date.

1:33 PM Mr. Silver

Probably a euphemism for playing “Scatterpanties”.

Say anything else?

1:38 PM Mr. Blue

She said her friend Beth plays too.

<<not an orgy guy

err ^^^

1:48 PM Mr. Silver

“Scatter-orgies”!

Pleeeeease can I post these? 

1:54 PM Mr. Blue

Of course.

1:54 PM Mr. Silver

Heh

Day 89 - Simple(ton) Instructions 2, Fortunately Frodo and Samwise Were Track & Field Stars, Space Trash, Extreme Hangman Apocalypse, And A Religious Holiday For Everyone

Mr. Silver

"Pull the thinner black cable out." 

"The yellow one?" 

"...Yes, pull out all the black cords that are yellow." 

"There should be approximately 30 of those."

"Take special care to grab all the black cables that are green, blue and red too."

Mr. Gray

Today In 1937,"The Hobbit," by J.R.R. Tolkien, was first published.

9:09 AM Mr. Silver

Yay hobbits!

9:22 AM Mr. Silver

I was discussing them the other day with Mr. Blue and Jack.

How they were too small for the books to work and J.R.R. didn't notice.

Well..."The Hobbit" was fine...closer proportions.

It's the legs...hobbits are too short to cover the distances in the books unless they ran the whole time, every day.

9:35 AM Mr. Silver

Just one of the perils of spending too long studying things like stride-length vs speed and agility for gaming.

9:36 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

Understand. I notice those things too

Mr. Brown

Mr. Blue and I were trying to come up with ways to get rid of space trash.

10:34 AM Mr. Blue

My best suggestion was a big ol' magnet, since most of the junk is probably metal.

10:35 AM Mr. Brown

We thought about sending everything into the sun.

But then I was thinking that we might kill the sun doing that.

10:37 AM Mr. Silver

Pfft

You could throw the entire Earth into the Sun and it'd barely notice.

Alien astronomers would notice a slight change in the solar system gravity characteristics.

"I think a planet or two slipped orbit."

"Hmm...well make a note."

Mr. Brown

So we should send all our space junk to Pluto so it can be a planet again.

lol

2:06 PM Mr. Silver

Heh...interesting plan.

2:07 PM Mr. Brown

If we make it bigger, it will feel important again.

2:08 PM Mr. Silver

Now it's a planetoid with a landfill! 

Kind of a super cold mini-Earth!

Mr. Silver

So this is how exciting the chat is today...

On the other side, the guys are discussing their Solitaire scores and how to get higher scores.

After watching this a bit I hit on this notion:

I'm picturing an "Extreme Solitaire” for "the kids" with a booming voice that announces things like "Black 7! Red 8!" and "Comboooo!"  "Super Combooooo!" and the like when you move the stacks around.

Perhaps throw in the anime Three-pete screen cut if you flip an ace.

"Schingg!!!!  Chhhh-Chhh-Chhhinnnnng!!!"

2:52 PM Mr. Blue

There's an app on my phone for a hang-man like game; it's a multiplayer type deal. Obviously geared for families and kids. One day the game didn't load properly and all I could see was the background, and I noticed that it's made up of skulls and crossbones, bombs, knives and brass knuckles for some reason.

2:53 PM Mr. Silver

Hints at unlockable content!

“Conquered Hangman?  Unlock Bombman! Unlock Stabman!”

2:58 PM Mr. Silver

“Zombie Apocalypse Man!”

3:00 PM Mr. Silver

I kinda like “Zombie Apocalypse Man”

3:03 PM Mr. Silver

Each wrong answer you draw a dis-stick-figured walking corpse grabbing or biting down on a section of the fleeing horrified victim.

3:31 PM Mr. Silver

Oh, tomorrow is "International I'm Not Gonna Be Here Day" for me.

3:34 PM Mr. Blue

Sweet

3:34 PM Mr. Pink

I must not observe that holiday.

Mr. Silver

Well, it's a religious thing.

Can I come over to your place with pamphlets and drone on about it for several hours?

3:42 PM Mr. Pink

haha

Day 88 - Simple(ton) Instructions, Even Monsters Don't Believe In Werewolves, Hot Patootie Bless My Soul...Sex Drugs And Buttered Rolls?, Too Perky To Be Safe, And Mr. Gray's Dream Home

7:15 AM Mr. Green

morning

7:16 AM Mr. Silver

morning

(battery panel...several descriptions in) "All right, hold on, I'll see if I can find it." 

"Okay.  Try this - it's in the completely unmissible location I've been describing.  Check there." 

7:17 AM Mr. Green

lol

Mr. Brown

I’ve always been a werewolf kind of fan

8:23 AM Mr. Silver

Well, the werebeasts are, I suppose, more “natural”.

There's no abominable living-dead stuff going on there.

The irony is that there's more evidence for ghosts and such. 

Vampire "I watched this great werewolf movie over-day...couldn't sleep.  Worth it though."

Demon "Eh...never got into made-up monsters.  That live shape-shift stuff by mortals is just silly."

Alien "My people do it.  What's the problem?"

Vampire "Yeah? Not like it's not done."

Demon "Yeah, but your people evolved for that...you have an amorphous body.  The human skeletal structure just can't DO that stuff." 

Ghost "Hey guys...what we talkin' about?"

Alien "Pazazael here doesn't like werewolves.  Thinks they're silly."

Ghost "So are sparkly vampires..."

All "LOL"

9:14 AM Mr. Silver

"Rocky Horror Picture Show" was on last night.

Terrible film.

Mrs. Silver "What are you shouting at the TV for???"

me "Just remembering all I can, which isn't much."

(on screen) "Janet!  Dr. Scot!  Janet!  Brad!  Rocky!" 

"Bullwinkle!!!"

(had to explain that one to her)

9:17 AM Mr. Silver

Mrs. Silver "Are you shouting 'BullSh-' at the TV?  You're going to wake up Silver Jr.!"

9:23 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

9:27 AM Mr. Yellow

LOL

I remember quite a few call back lines but no where near as many when I used to go every Saturday night

9:27 AM Mr. Silver

Yeah, me too.  I had a lot of "Uh...something goes there" and half starts.

Mr. Silver

Really happy...or has a knife behind her back.  You make the call - http://www.doctoroz.com/expert/nancy-schuessler

Mr. Silver

Mr. Gray!  Found you a place!

http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/09/20/buy-this-house-get-a-thousand-dollar-bar-tab/

3:04 PM Mr. Gray

Uh huh

3:04 PM Mr. Silver

Might wanna negotiate a bigger credit though...  

"Well...$1000 is pretty good..."

3:05 PM Mr. Gray

$1000 would be like 10 trips to the bar LOL

3:06 PM Mr. Silver

Not if you weren't such a lightweight :-p

(had to...was waitin' for you to walk in)

3:08 PM Mr. Gray

:-P

Day 87 - Wee Award Winner Woot, (Blank) Chip Cookies, Starvation-Level Luxury, The Crew Has No Balls, How Much Cow Could A Cow-Killer Kill If A Cow-Killer Could Kill Cow?, And Porn For Psychopathic Vegans

7:11 AM Mr. Yellow

ok Peter Dinklage won best supporting actor.

or woot

7:27 AM Mr. Silver

Or?

7:28 AM Mr. Yellow

Woot instead of ok

7:28 AM Mr. Silver

Ah

Woot for wee winner

7:32 AM Mr. Yellow

lol

(Ware...D&D geekiness incoming – Mr. Silver)

11:00 AM Mr. Yellow

So I was looking at a book on Waterdeep's noble families. From what I can tell this is going to be a bit costly for me as I will have to give 1% of my annual income to the city. But I so want the Lord title. And the manor, and the ability to have 70 armed troops in the city, a coat of arms and all my soldiers dressed up like musketeers with my crest on their tabards.

It is worth every penny.

11:03 AM Mr. Gray

LOL True!

11:04 AM Mr. Silver

Besides, as a lord, you are forgetting that the kickbacks, bribes, special considerations, social contacts and other fringe is going to be worth far more side income than the 1%.

11:04 AM Mr. Yellow

They had a better description of the Dung Sweepers guild as well. Wow! They are one of, if not the, poorest guilds. Good thing my father is also a cleric and got money from the church.

11:04 AM Mr. Yellow

I will have to throw a major party in my noble villa.

I get to meet with the lords as well, and I actually get to speak a bit and have my ideas considered. Well...I get to meet then when they are masked.

I do not necessary get to know who they are.

Hmm. Maybe I could even become one... nah, too much work.

11:13 AM Mr. Silver

Masked lords?

Just show up in a mask and talk anyway.

"Yeah, turns out I had a chance to pay 1% of my income a year for this thing, but I saw a kid in a shop trying one on for a copper piece, so..."

11:19 AM Mr. Yellow

Seriously, there are going to be some great parties going on. Might be a good way to start an adventure. I would have to invite all my old dear friends to come, and there is a temple of Gond in the district.

11:28 AM Mr. Silver

(Nobel at the party) "What ARE these cookies, Lord Derek? The brown chips...so strange but they're delightful!"

(Lord Derek) "Ah, well it's a gong farmer secret, of course, but I can tell you...the chips have a 'cookie-load' of sweetener in them to make them taste good...wink wink."

(Nobel) "Baaaaaaarfffff!"

(Derek) "Yes, that's why I don't eat them."

11:29 AM Mr. Yellow

LOL

12:24 PM Mr. Silver

http://www.rawstory.com/rawreplay/2011/09/tea-party-rep-only-400000-left-after-i-feed-my-family/

Hehehe

12:26 PM Ms. Amethyst

Wow, must be nice!

12:27 PM Mr. Silver

Whatever will he do, only being able to fund a few Harvard educations a year?

12:28 PM Ms. Amethyst

A few? Try like 5-6.

12:28 PM Mr. Silver

Well he has to eat, too.

Note that he also implied he spends $200k a year on groceries.

That's only $547.57 cents a day!

12:43 PM Mr. Gray

OMG how can they survive?!

8:09 AM Mr. Silver

So apparently today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day

8:09 AM Ms. Amethyst

Haha! Oh really now?

8:09 AM Mr. Silver

And though it is a subject near and dear...

Honestly, I believe the privateer I was in a past life probably didn't talk like a Treasure Island fugitive.

8:13 AM Mr. Silver

I blame Disney...1950

8:13 AM Ms. Amethyst

And why is that?

8:14 AM Mr. Silver

Robert Newton's portrayal of "Long John Silver"

8:14 AM Ms. Amethyst

Ahh ok

8:18 AM Mr. Silver

"ARRR Jim lad! ARR! BY THUNDER ARRR!"

8:27 AM Mr. Silver

He's the "gargles with vinegar and gravel" pirate.

8:27 AM Ms. Amethyst

lol

8:27 AM Mr. Silver

Charlton Heston's Silver was rather good, as I recall.

8:32 AM Ms. Amethyst

Never saw it.

8:54 AM Mr. Brown

Captain, we don't have any more cannon balls!

What should we do?

8:55 AM Mr. Brown

Well, Pete has a peg leg; shoot that at them!

lol

8:55 AM Ms. Amethyst

lol

8:55 AM Mr. Brown

Then get all the utensils and shoot them too

8:55 AM Mr. Silver

heh

8:55 AM Mr. Brown

“What will we eat with later?”

“Our hands, idiot!”

8:56 AM Mr. Silver

AUGH! Grab anything left!

8:58 AM Mr. Brown

“Oh nooooooo! I've shot all the things!!!”

8:58 AM Ms. Amethyst

What are we gunna do!!!!

8:59 AM Mr. Brown

Well we still have the big stick that we use to put the stuff in the barrel right?

Shoot that too!

9:00 AM Ms. Amethyst

Nooooo we need that to stuff the stuff in the barrel

9:01 AM Mr. Brown

“Well do the smaller cannons fit in the bigger cannons?

9:02 AM Ms. Amethyst

Ummm, no

And if we shoot the little ones we have less cannons

9:09 AM Mr. Brown

How many musket balls do we have left?

9:09 AM Ms. Amethyst

UNO!!!!!!!!

9:14 AM Mr. Silver

"I am NOT loading a long nine with ONE musketball, sir!"

9:15 AM Mr. Brown

Well what kind of food do we have left?

Anything hard?

9:15 AM Mr. Silver

"The biscuit! Break out the biscuit boxes!"

That'd be an embarrassing loss...sunk by a broadside of hardtack

9:31 AM Mr. Brown

Ok, I think we got them! Move in close, we will board the ship!

9:36 AM Mr. Silver

"Uh...we shot all the cutlasses, knives, spare belaying pins, pistols, boarding axes and gaffs in the last few rounds of cannon fire, captain."

9:39 AM Mr. Silver

"Right...every man jack of you take two hands full of black powder, and when we board...punch your opponent as hard as you can."

9:54 AM Mr. Brown

http://www.insectidentification.org/insect-description.asp?identification=Cow-Killer

I do not want to get stung by this.

9:56 AM Mr. Silver

Genus: Baddus Species: Assus

9:57 AM Ms. Amethyst

lol

Yeah, I would say so

10:13 AM Mr. Silver

So has anyone tested this on a cow?

10:14 AM Mr. Silver

It's Texas...nobody tried it?

10:14 AM Ms. Amethyst

I doubt it

10:15 AM Mr. Silver

"That there's a cow killer, pard."

"They can kill a cow???"

"Don't rightly know."

"So why is it called a cow killer?"

"... ... ... uhhhhhh. Hmm...We just...kinda tip 'em round these parts. And throw their poop as a game."

10:16 AM Mr. Silver

Perhaps it's based on brain quality

"Clint was brought down hard by one of 'em, but he's smarter'n a cow, so he's ok."

10:20 AM Ms. Amethyst

lol

10:24 AM Mr. Silver

No Texan was ever bored enough to shake one in a jar and drop it on a cow? Amazing.

I'm sending that one in to Mythbusters.

10:25 AM Ms. Amethyst

ok

Let me know how that turns out.

10:27 AM Mr. Silver

Probably have to dump it due to that whole "killing a cow" thing.

10:27 AM Ms. Amethyst

lol

We wanna know if it actually kills a cow though.

10:30 AM Mr. Silver

You know how they go on that show though...by 40 minutes in, the voiceover will say "But we know the Mythbusters...they're nothing if not completists. So their next question is, 'Just how many Cow Killers does it take to kill a cow?'"

10:30 AM Ms. Amethyst

Exactly

10:43 AM Mr. Silver

"MOOOOO-OOO!!!"

(Jamie) "We're 30 stings in now and though our 'Myth-Cow' is foaming, she's still up and kicking."

(Adam) "Yeah. At this point I'm thinking she'll just beat herself to death, but I have the next set of 5 ready to dump on."

10:49 AM Mr. Silver

Headlines: "Mythbusters Off Air Pending Animal Cruelty Trial"

Blurb lower "PETA takes all their clothes off in usual gesture again.

12:47 PM Mr. Silver

Back onto that topic...

Rule 34 -  

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/09/19/peta-to-launch-porn-site-in-name-of-animal-rights/

I can just see the psychopathic endorsements.

"Finally a site that caters to ALL the things that turn me on."

12:49 PM Mr. Gray

LMAO

2:29 PM Mr. Yellow

Since I have been married I have watched more porn films all the way through instead of just 5 minute clips.

2:30 PM Mr. Silver

lol

Pre-marriage "...skip...skip...skip...backup...skip...skip..."

Post marriage "This dialogue and acting is awful."