Day 240 - The Truth Behind The No World Order, The Real Disaster Is In The Reporting, Tweet Twerp, The Police Are Doing Some Landscaping, "Would You Like Life Support With That?", James Bond Will Need Some Gardening Gloves, A PhD in Broom Science, and "O The Month Of ... The Merry Month Of ..."

Mr. Silver

Alex Jones...what a moron...

7:47 AM Mr. Green

That man is off his rocker... serious mentally ill.

7:48 AM Mr. Silver

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/05/20/alex-jones-democrats-stole-election-want-to-legalize-the-30-million-illegals/

7:52 AM Mr. Silver

“They stole the election. That’s what I’m worried about, Larry,” Jones told Pratt. “There’s so much election fraud now."

7:53 AM Mr. Green

OMG...

7:53 AM Mr. Silver

While there is some...and TONS of it is suppression and manipulation...it's almost all Republican.  The "true horror stories of fraud and conspiracy" they tell to justify their proposed “voter laws” and other voter manipulation/suppression actions are all fabricated.

8:23 AM Mr. Blue

Alex Jones thinks 9/11, the Moon landing and the Boston bombing were perpetrated by a Zionist cabal bent on world domination.  I don't know why anyone even gives him air time.

8:25 AM Mr. Blue

And the semi-mainstream Republicans that link to him and give him air time aren't doing themselves any favors either.

Apparently Drudge Report linked to Alex Jones's site 200+ times in the past year, and he's been on Glenn Beck's show a lot.

Which is fine by me.  Show everyone how crazy you really are.

Jones can't even keep his own conspiracies straight.

8:26 AM Mr. Silver

Zionist cabal…sure… These New World Order groups aren't very good at what they do.

(Evil Mastermind)  "Bwahaha!  We've faked landing on the Moon!  Give me reports, X!  What do we have complete control of now?" 

"Uuuuuhhh....lesseeeee.  (flips a dozen clipboard pages)  Nothing, My Lord."

8:26 AM Mr. Blue

LOL

8:27 AM Mr. Silver

(Years later - Evil Mastermind)  "Bwahaha!  We've successfully taken down the World Trade Center!!!  Give me reports!  What do we have complete control of now, X?" 

"(flips pages) Well...a lot of people are pissed off...millions of American's, mostly.  That's it."

"GOOD!  So we have completed our take-over!  Bwahaha!"

"Welllllll...."

"What is it, X?"

"The skinny from the social analysis team is that we should lay low 'til stuff calms down...like really really low."

8:29 AM Mr. Blue

Like the Boston thing… What’s the end game there by the “Zionist cabal”?

8:29 AM Mr. Blue

Gun control?  Well, the day of the bombing they nixed legislation that called for more stringent background checks.

These NWO groups must move at such a snail's pace that they'll probably have control over the world in about 3000 years.

8:42 AM Mr. Silver

NWO - "No World Order"

8:50 AM Mr. Blue

NWO designed Katzenjammer’s mail dashboard to have "Mail" buttons within a few centimeters of each other, but that take you to completely different places.

8:51 AM Mr. Silver

It's all about control...or something.  NWO agents are specially trained to not be very good at design and stuff.

Imagine the indoctrination!

"Well, my Lord...he's proven to be not very bright or talented, but easily motivated, loyal to a fault, and will not reveal even the stupidest most pointless secrets under torture or when offered alarmingly good compensation."

"Perfect, X!   Put him on web design.  Good...Gooood!"

8:55 AM Mr. Blue

All part of the Zionist cabal New World Order.

8:55 AM Mr. Silver

Yup.

8:56 AM Mr. Blue

Occupy the peoples’ free time with confusing and redundant mail clients so they don't go out and protest or vote or do anything worthwhile.

8:56 AM Mr. Silver

"I wish him well...he reminds me of my start in comic books.  Did you know, X; I was tortured over the color of a rubber duck for my final test?"

"What color was it, my Lord?"

"Ah AH...(waggles finger)"

"Was it yellow, my Lord?"

"(sighs and smiles)Yellow…  The color of control, X...the color of control.  You are a clever agent.  The amber light on the traffic signal is one of our greatest achievements, X"

"Yes, my Lord."

"It makes half of drivers recklessly speed up, and half slow down far too soon.  Some might call that chaos, but not so."

"But that is chaos, my Lord."

"Yes, but it's our chaos, X.  We control all those drivers, at our whim."

9:21 AM Mr. Amethyst

It seems as likely as my car was fine, and then tried to kill me today.

I outsmarted the NWO.

9:22 AM Mr. Silver

An assassination attempt!

9:22 AM Mr. Brown

I won't buy a car from a government-saved car manufacturer. 

Not in the thought process of “they put something in my car”, but that they took money from the government.

9:24 AM Mr. Silver

So...they paid for the new car with your taxes, and then you had to pay for it again to buy it!

"Double dip!  Commies!  Conspiracy!  Marxism!"

9:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

Marxism is a stretch. lol

9:29 AM Mr. Silver

Just throwing out an oft- misused term of conspiracy nuts.  You may substitute any number of them, like Nazism, Socialism, Fascism...they clearly don't really know what any of them mean.

9:30 AM Mr. Amethyst

Oh.  I like Nazism.  Use that from now on.

9:30 AM Mr. Blue

Didn’t the auto manufacturers all already pay the money back, plus interest?

9:30 AM Mr. Silver

Shhh!  Besides, they're Nazis and that's final!

9:44 AM Mr. Silver

Nice chat with Chuck over the tornadoes.

9:44 AM Mr. Silver

Chuck "They say it was like a nuke going off."

Me "Um...that was nothing like a nuke."

9:45 AM Mr. Brown

NOPE

9:45 AM Mr. Silver

Chuck "Not even a small one?"

Me "No.  I mean, they make pretty small nukes, but that comparison is just ridiculous.  Mind you, a middling tornado has more energy than a nuke."

9:45 AM Mr. Brown

Nukes destroy in a wave not a spiral of wind, and there’s no fire or radiation in a tornado.

9:46 AM Mr. Silver

Anyway...later...a reporter in the field has a family standing there, prompting stories.

9:50 AM Mr. Silver

"Hi!  Let me drag you through all the painful memories in great detail so you can give such well-thought out and interesting answers as 'don't know' and 'scared'!"

"How did you feel  when (insert insipid micro-situation)?"

9:51 AM Mr. Brown

Nukado!

9:53 AM Mr. Blue

"It was like a tsunami only instead of water, it was a tornado."

9:54 AM Mr. Silver

"Tsunado! - The latest tale of environmental disaster, exclusively on SyFy!"

9:55 AM Mr. Brown

"Remember that time it rained really hard?  It was like that."

9:56 AM Mr. Silver

Anyway, Chuck and I had to riff on the victim interview.

9:56 AM Mr. Silver

Me "I'd like to see one of them answer 'I feel GREAT!'"

Chuck "That house sucked anyway!"

Me "I hated it!  The neighbors’ house too!"

Chuck "I bought a TON of insurance on it though!  I’m LOADED!"

9:57 AM Mr. Blue

I always like the reporters on scene at a beach or whatever during a hurricane and you have some goofball in some weird costume in the background

9:58 AM Mr. Blue

"The tide is deadly! The winds are brutal! This is a serious situation!" *guy in a bear costume walks by dancing*

10:00 AM Mr. Blue

I loved this guy during Sandy

http://www.google.com/search?q=hurricane+horse+mask&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=zH2bUZXwGK3h0wH8tIGYBQ&biw=1021&bih=526&sei=zn2bUYWJKebM0AH0zIGICA

10:00 AM Mr. Amethyst

LMAO

10:03 AM Mr. Blue

The news reporters tend to scold the person for making light of a serious situation.

"Yeah, right.  And you're exploiting a tragedy for ratings and money...who is worse?"

I probably have more in common with the shirtless guy with the horse mask than I do with the reporter bothering people trying to get a nice sound byte.

10:05 AM Mr. Silver

I remember Hannah Hart from My Drunk Kitchen going out in it for a show.

"We were ordered by the National Guard to stay inside!  So here I am, standing at the crossroads of X and Y, making a cocktail!"

10:06 AM Mr. Brown

Quit shoving that 20 kids are dead.

“20 kids dead!” 

Shut up, news.

10:07 AM Mr. Silver

The death count is down from that, though.

10:10 AM Mr. Silver

(talking head) "The death toll is down to 24.  Earlier estimates have been written off to wishful thinking, and a number of the dead seemed to have recovered and are staggering around complaining about their brains."

10:11 AM Mr. Blue

Heheh.

There is an obvious disappointment in the news' tone when situations end up improving.

10:14 AM Mr. Blue

I even remember that on 9/11, there were reports of a lot of other planes unaccounted for after the initial 4.  Once all planes in the air were accounted for there was disappointment from the news.  Like "Oh darn…no more deaths!"

10:21 AM Mr. Silver

"Commercial jets plowing into targets in San Francisco!  Houston!  Orlando!  Pocatello!  Shanklin, Isle of Wight!  ... Wait...this just in...  Commercial jets NOT plowing into targets in San Francisco, Houston, Orlando, Pocatello or Shanklin, Isle of Wight!"

10:22 AM Mr. Silver

"Terrorists fly a commercial jet through the Sun!"

11:16 AM Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2328397/Trainee-accountants-Twitter-boast-knocking-cyclist-bike-sparks-police-probe.html

11:18 AM Mr. Silver

"Hockley, pictured here with large ears, was not planning to pursue any followup."

"She passed so close, my ear took out her mirror," says cyclist.

11:20 AM Mr. Brown

I can't believe that somebody would hit & run, then tweet about it.

11:22 AM Mr. Blue

LOL Yeah.

11:25 AM Mr. Silver

De-evolution.

Petty fame > self preservation

11:58 AM Mr. Silver

So...what's the skinny on all the cops in front of Katzenjammer?

Did they finally notice someone rolling through the stop signs in this town?

12:01 PM Mr. Amethyst

Cops?

Where?

12:01 PM Mr. Blue

Outside.

12:01 PM Mr. Blue

Minor fender bender.

12:02 PM Mr. Amethyst

Oh, I was about to leave...quickly.

12:02 PM Mr. Silver

"Are they approaching the building in 2x2 formation, with Type 3 or higher body armor?"

"Yeah.  Why?"

"I'm going on break..."

12:04 PM Mr. Brown

I know a bunch of state boys went behind my home one day.

12:05 PM Mr. Silver

"They were carrying something between them wrapped in lawn bags, and had some shovels.  They came back without the bags."

12:06 PM Mr. Amethyst

Probably compost.

12:06 PM Mr. Silver

Compost?  Makes sense, yeah.

12:06 PM Mr. Brown

It was probably 6’ long if it wasn’t kind of bent in the middle. I think it was just grass.

12:08 PM Mr. Brown

I saw a hand fall out but it was probably a decoration.  I think they are making a mannequin garden.

12:09 PM Mr. Silver

Perhaps it’s a haunted trail for Halloween.  Was there any fake blood?

12:10 PM Mr. Brown

Well, I know they took two big bags of lime with them, too.

So, clearly gardening.

12:10 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

10:38 AM Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2329817/Get-ready-McMega-potato-McDonalds-creates-1-400-calorie-fries-dish-half-recommended-daily-intake.html

Should be: Would you like a heart attack with that?”

I can't finish a medium fries, normally.  My body says no.

10:40 AM Mr. Silver

"And could you pour a half pint of secret sauce on those, then 2 slices of melty cheese?"

"Oh...you have a defibrillator here?  Good.  I'd just put it on my tray, honestly."

10:44 AM Mr. Blue

Based on the picture, it seems like they're intending it for multiple people... Like a finger food or something.

10:46 AM Mr. Silver

This is American cuisine, sir.  Expect to see tables of diners with one each to match their Big Macs and Diet Cokes.

10:47 AM Mr. Blue

I’m not sure I’d want to share fries with people.

I’ll just get my own order, thanks.

1:14 PM Mr. Brown

A plant I’ve had to contend with: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle

1:18 PM Mr. Blue

That plant looks familiar, but I don't recall the symptoms.

1:20 PM Mr. Brown

It’s like a bee sting - instant red welts.

I was thinking, if I had an evil lair, how I would protect it in an interesting way.

First line of defense: angry badgers.

Second line is raccoons with lasers.

Third: baboons with machine guns.

Then: Stinging Nettle.

1:27 PM Mr. Blue

I believe I’m immune to poison ivy... I’ve been camping and hiking with people that got it and I never did.

1:28 PM Mr. Silver

(Poison Ivy mother) "Don't touch that human...it's Poison Blue."

 

2:04 PM Mr. Blue

This client claims he worked for NASA, but he can't remember the PW he setup 7 minutes ago.

2:04 PM Mr. Gray

"So when astronauts go up in space and someone has to remember command codes to make sure they don’t die.....that’s not you, is it sir?"

2:05 PM Mr. Silver

"I'm what they call a 'Broom Scientist' at NASA."

2:05 PM Mr. Gray

"Dirt Disposal Specialist"

2:06 PM Mr. Silver

"You know...'It doesn't take a rocket scientist to change a lightbulb...call the broom scientist'?  That's me."

2:56 PM Mr. Silver

"I'm telling you, the pass code is my husband's birthday: 0 16 54."

"And I'm telling you that there is no month 0."

Day 239 - "How Doth The Little Crocodile Replace His Broken Smile...", "I'm Just Bad And Drawn That Way", Sexy Beasts, Beauty Is Only Fur Deep, 6 Degrees Of Genetics, and 1 More Degree To Kevin Bacon

11:23 AM Mr. Brown

I was wondering:  If they figure out how to use this growth that they discovered in crocodiles for growing teeth in humans, what kind of teeth will we grow?

11:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

What?

11:23 AM Mr. Amethyst

What part of that made sense?

11:24 AM Mr. Brown

Crocodiles can grow new teeth - lose one, grow another.  Some researchers found out how that works and are looking at bringing that into our DNA.

11:24 AM Mr. Amethyst

Pass.

11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

I don’t want croc teeth!

That’s my point.

…then again...

11:25 AM Mr. Brown

Well that’s what I mean; they will try to code it for our teeth.

11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

Hmmm

11:26 AM Mr. Brown

But will that still grow our teeth, or croc teeth?

lol

11:26 AM Mr. Amethyst

Can they code the rest of me to be a werewolf?

11:26 AM Mr. Brown

Maybe

11:26 AM Mr. Amethyst

I’m in.

11:26 AM Mr. Brown

Hey, I’m for being coded with some ape DNA: stronger muscle and bone.

11:27 AM Mr. Amethyst

Anyone else in for this genetic pool of misery?

11:27 AM Mr. Silver

No.

 

 

12:46 PM Mr. Amethyst

I’m looking for comments on my discussion topic, and I demand answers.  I’ll repost it:

Old cartoons cause sexual deviancy.

12:46 PM Brent

Well, I can’t say Sleeping Beauty ever made me want to fist anyone, so........

12:47 PM Mr. Amethyst

lol

12:47 PM Mr. Blue

Pepe le Pew was a sexual predator.

12:47 PM Mr. Amethyst

Exactly, and Thundercats - Furrys

12:48 PM Mr. Gray

Olive Oyl was a tramp, leading two guys on...sheesh.

12:48 PM Mr. Amethyst

^

12:48 PM Brent

Minnie was a whore!!!!!!!

And Donald Duck wears no pants!

12:48 PM Mr. Amethyst

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA5CDXP69uYKTPiobiUwpCugNDFqcIBmL6uphI69f7ImK85us5nb9psFk9VtpAK2gdEgbn2IG4sandtysonSfgCPGBEVc1FXsqWLZ9NPkAS2PkBTArKNvMFV8cl2w5FA0RzO9x70HokOf8/s1600/mickey+%2526+minnie+mouse+for+Grand+Rapids+Milk.jpg

Mickey getting frisky.

12:49 PM Mr. Brown

lol

HAHAHAHAHAHA

12:49 PM Brent

Huh!  Well, then!

12:49 PM Mr. Silver

How long did it take Mickey to fill that?

12:49 PM Mr. Amethyst

See.  It’s a valid point.

Smurfs, even.

1 woman in the entire village.

12:50 PM Mr. Silver

Eh...Smurfette isn't a Smurf.

12:50 PM Mr. Amethyst

Ok, she was made by Gargamel, but still.

Even “Space Jam” --- Babs Bunny with giant tits...Boobs Bunny.

12:51 PM Mr. Brown

They always sex it up in any cartoon.

Makes you watch it. 

I mean; adults are who make them in the first place, that’s why there are boners hidden in Disney films.

12:53 PM Brent

Then there’s hentai.  Pretty tame by comparison, but I think there a few innuendos there if you know what I mean.

12:53 PM Mr. Amethyst

So many tentacles…

Let’s summarize:  Cartoons have taught children to be rapists, stalkers, body worshippers, and fetishists.

12:54 PM Mr. Brown

No, they taught me to get something very heavy and drop it on my enemies.

 

 

 

4:12 PM Mr. Brown

I find it odd that people get sexual gratification by doing it with animals.

4:13 PM Mr. Amethyst

A warm wet hole is the same no matter what’s attached to it.

A toothless snake would probably be amazing

4:14 PM Mr. Silver

There was the guy who found the wasp nest appealing this week.

How much E does a person have to take?

4:14 PM Tommy

A LOT!

4:15 PM Mr. Brown

I would f fruit before a animal.

4:15 PM Mr. Amethyst

Well, yeah.

4:15 PM Mr. Silver

Fruit starts with F...Animal starts with A.

4:16 PM Tommy

D as in Donkey.

4:16 PM Mr. Silver

Wait...do you mean "fruit" like watermelon...or "fruit" like Liberace?

4:16 PM Mr. Blue

How sexy of an animal are we talking about here?

4:17 PM Mr. Brown

Depends on the things considered animal

4:19 PM Mr. Amethyst

Animorphs Mr. Blue, think Animorphs.

4:19 PM Mr. Brown

That was a show wasn't it?

4:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

No.  Books.

4:20 PM Mr. Silver

"It's not really Furry Fetish if they're therianthropes."

4:20 PM Mr. Amethyst

HAHAHAA

SEE!  Old kids’ stuff causes sexual deviance!  Exactly what I was talking about!

 

Mr. Amethyst

So I’ve been drawing a lot as of late, and I drew a character: half human, half dog.  Mrs. Amethyst gets all goofy.

"Why are you drawing Furries?"

I was like “Well, now that you mention it, I guess it is.”  So I drew one for her. 

She said "That’s actually pretty cool.”

Well gee, thanks.

10:32 AM Mr. Silver

"Drawing Furries isn't creepy, right?  It's just drawings, right?"

It's an ancient thing...people have always wanted that totemic bond.

10:33 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

10:34 AM Mr. Silver

Heck...my main power animal is a crane...explain that?

I don't plan on dressing as one anytime soon, though.

10:35 AM Mr. Amethyst

How would you, even?

10:35 AM Mr. Silver

(looks)

https://www.google.com/search?q=crane+costume&client=firefox-a&hs=90O&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=vJGXUfH5NO2x4AOZ94GQDA&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1123&bih=676

Hehe

10:39 AM Mr. Amethyst

HAHAHA

10:40 AM Mr. Silver

My shaman side has always wanted a feathered cloak, I tend to dance for/with Mrs. Silver at odd times, and I occasionally catch myself spreading my arms way out when walking, or stretching them way up high...generally when I'm in a good/playful mood.

10:41 AM Mr. Amethyst

Well thought out.  A feathered cloak would bug me; I hate feathers.

I’m partial to Xazax, the wolf hybrid - black and grey fur, blue lines that extend down his arms to the tips of his middle fingers, red Mohawk-like hair, and red and orange on the underside of the tail.

10:49 AM Mr. Silver

'course Xazax wouldn't be an actual totem.

Valid spiritform?  Sure; all kinds of stuff out there.

Oh...and I have excellent balance on one leg...I forgot that one.

10:57 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL

I said to Mrs. Amethyst, "I think I’m a closet Furry.”

She said “Whats that? Oh wait; isn’t that where people dress up as animals and have orgies?”

“I’d imagine some people do, but that WAY beyond my scope.”

At any rate, I got some nice drawings out of it.

11:01 AM Mr. Amethyst

I’d probably get a suit made if it wasn’t like $3000.

I need to start an "Amethyst's mess-with-people-suit fund".

11:01 AM Mr. Silver

Heh

11:02 AM Mr. Amethyst

I thought about dressing up like a raccoon and messing with peoples’ trash, then when they come out flip ‘em off and run.

11:03 AM Mr. Silver

"This Kickstarter is rather unique...

11:05 AM Mr. Amethyst

lol

11:06 AM Mr. Silver

"Would you like to contribute to my Furry Fund?"

"You mean like for a cure for those weirdos?"

"Not...precisely..."

11:07 AM Mr. Amethyst

lol

11:20 AM Mr. Silver

I knew a guy that had "werewolves" inked on each arm...male and female.

Looked pretty Furry to me. 

11:21 AM Mr. Amethyst

lol

11:21 AM Mr. Silver

"Sure they look fierce...I just don't believe the body parts."

11:22 AM Mr. Amethyst

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been interested in anthropomorphic animals.

11:23 AM Mr. Silver

Blame Disney?

11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

I blame Thundercats.

And Swat Cats, and other cartoons.

lol

11:25 AM Mr. Silver

https://www.google.com/search?q=disney+maid+marian&client=firefox-a&hs=U74&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=S52XUePFOqOT0QGEoICACA&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1123&bih=676

11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

LOL Robin Hood!

11:25 AM Mr. Silver

"It was all over when I saw Maid Marion’s eyes."

Hehe

11:25 AM Mr. Amethyst

Haha

11:26 AM Mr. Silver

She danced well too...of course, they stole the animation sketches from Snow White.

11:26 AM Mr. Amethyst

Really?

11:26 AM Mr. Silver

Yeah.  They’d reuse good sequences.

(Here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWKo5veKjVU - Mr. Silver)

11:26 AM Mr. Amethyst

I didn’t know that.

That’s pretty cool actually.

11:30 AM Mr. Silver

Thinking about it, I can't think of any Furry-er character Disney has done.

She's a human in a fox costume.

11:31 AM Mr. Amethyst

Hahaha

I was doing research on that whole sect of society, and found some amazing art/suits at pictures of cons

Mr. Silver

Heh...looked it up...Disney's “Robin Hood” is cited as a major early influence of Furry Fandom.

(poses victoriously) The team anthropologist is hot!

2:52 PM Mr. Amethyst

LOL Nice!

 

 

 

10:19 AM Mr. Mustard

Are you related to Bill and Judy on Kiester Avenue?

10:20 AM Mr. Silver

Nope.

10:21 AM Mr. Mustard

Me neither.

10:25 AM Mr. Silver

It turns out I'm not related to most people.

At least as far back as we've looked.

10:33 AM Mr. Mustard

Same here.

Just an ape named Bobo.

10:44 AM Mr. Silver

Heyyyyy!  Good ol' Uncle Bobo?  We're cousins!

10:44 AM Mr. Mustard

I thought we might be!

 

Mr. Brown

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2327615/Restaurant-called-Bacon-Bacon-forced-close--complaints-overwhelming-smell-bacon.html

They’re filled with bacon.

2:50 PM Mr. Brown

If you put bacon bacon in for images on Bing, you find a picture of Kevin Bacon made of bacon.

2:51 PM Mr. Blue

Someone shut down the sewer authority place.  You can smell it from a mile away, and it sure isn't bacon.

2:53 PM Mr. Silver

I'm sure a lot of it was bacon.