Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Day 279 - Dog Third, Beans Beans The Magical Shoot!, An Eye For An Eye Don't Think So, Damned 'Merican Lovin' Bastards!, Homo Homogenous, Bad Boys & Dangerous Women, Otherworldly Health, and Reviewing Rick's Floppy Candle

Mr. Silver
"I'm Thomas Little, the 3rd."
Friggin’ “Thirds”.
I have no issues with Sr, Jr, 2nds, 4ths...
Thirds...always seems to be something wrong with declared "The Third"s.
8:59 AM Mr. Brown
Like a Middle Child
Always something wrong with them.
8:59 AM Mr. Silver
Or a Meta Middle Child, in this case
8:59 AM Mr. Brown
Right.
Call it Meta Middle Child Syndrome.
9:01 AM Mr. Silver
"You don’t know what it’s like, being the Middle Lineage Heir!"



Mr. Green
9:06 AM Mr. Silver
"Local Beans Call for Justice"
9:06 AM Mr. Green
Heheh
Mr. Silver
I'm a little doubtful of his story.
9:07 AM Mr. Green
How could you just finish shopping and walk out?
9:08 AM Mr. Silver
If a bump from a bottle could set it off, the thing isn't safe.
Officer "I see...and did you cock the weapon, take off the safety and put your finger on the trigger before repeatedly pounding on your hand with the bottle, sir?" 
"No."
Office "Is 'Bottle' the name of the person who fired it?"
"No."
Officer "Was there a reason the gun would have been wedged in your pocket in such a way that it would be pointing forwards instead of down, so the bullet could enter the shelves instead of the floor?"
"It was pointed normally.  I was...uh...lying on my back on this other shelf?"
Officer "I can see that. Ok...you can go."



12:53 PM Mr. Brown
Dumb dumb dumb
1:01 PM Mr. Silver
"I'm going to take scissors and make a little incision and try to divide..."
"Doctor, you just lost me at the word 'try'."
1:02 PM Mr. Amethyst
Right.
1:05 PM Mr. Silver
"I thought about it all night over a couple neat whiskeys, and I think we'll be good with the ol' 'stab your eye and hope' technique."



2:15 PM Mr. Brown
This guy called Walmart “Jap loving bastards”.
2:15 PM Mr. Silver
I wonder where he got that. 
2:16 PM Mr. Brown
LOL
I would say from a father figure, or he was in Japan
LOL
2:17 PM Mr. Blue
What decade is this? The “Japs” are allies and their labor is well-paid.
Maybe he should say... “Chinese-loving bastards”?
2:17 PM Mr. Brown
My grandpa is like that.
2:17 PM Mr. Blue
Racist?
2:17 PM Mr. Silver
A Chinese-loving bastard?
2:18 PM Mr. Brown
Against the stuff they make.
2:18 PM Mr. Blue
My grandpa was one of the first people in the area to drive a German-made car after the war.
2:18 PM Mr. Brown
You should have heard my grandpa working on lawnmowers.
He'd get something that had a part that should have been metal, and the Chinese decided to make it out of plastic and its the part that broke.
LOL
2:28 PM Mr. Silver
Yes. No American engineer was ever asked to design a lighter cheaper plastic part...
2:29 PM Mr. Blue
You get what you pay for.
If you buy the all-metal one, it'll cost you more.
It might even last longer.
2:37 PM Mr. Silver
If the Chinese were making metal parts and we were making plastic, that type of complainer would be irritated that the Chinese were so technologically backward.
"Pfft...the Chinese are still using steel for this? Welcome to the 19th century guys!"
2:39 PM Mr. Blue
Heh



Mr. Brown
So scientists are saying there was a bunch of hominids that all interbred back in prehistoric days to bring us to be.
Well, they believe it.
9:36 AM Mr. Brown
Hominids of different makes and sizes that all interbred to become what we are now, and that’s why we have Neanderthal DNA and others.
It could explain the disappearances of groups. They just melded.
LOL
9:39 AM Mr. Blue
Weird, though, that we're so unmelded today with African, European, Asian and other groups, each very distinct.
10:08 AM Mr. Silver
I'd just like to interject that we're all homo sapiens sapiens.
The variations are almost entirely cosmetic
Native Americans have slightly different teeth shapes...
Aborigines in Australia are a smidgen older, genetically.
That theory is that we are a mix of variant cosmetics or very closely related species, and they were never very different. Close enough to not produce mules, therefore nearly the same.
10:13 AM Mr. Silver
Unfortunately, for that to be reasonable, the anthropology community would have to admit that a lot of those species probably aren't distinct, as they truly want to claim.
10:13 AM Mr. Brown
Right.
Superficial differences.
10:16 AM Mr. Silver
Researchers like that don't like their “great discovery” chucked into a box with all the rest.
"Homo Proto?  Are you mad?!?!  I'll lose my place in history!"
10:21 AM Mr. Silver
Its really funny when you consider the variety in dogs, but no one calls any of them "not dogs".
We are mutt amalgams of a lot of breeds of essentially the same thing.
10:22 AM Mr. Brown
Yep.
Where did the Aztecs go? They mutted up.
10:26 AM Mr. Blue
"The Spaniards banged the Aztecs and turned them into Mexicans."
10:54 AM Mr. Blue
Most of the differences today are fairly superficial.
It's not like Chinese people have a different heart or black people have carnivore teeth.
10:59 AM Mr. Blue
There are cultures that basically run marathons for survival, chasing animals over tens of miles.
11:30 AM Mr. Silver
Meanwhile there are people adapted to living in the dark and cold of Scandinavia.
“Run?  Heck no...burns too much energy.  Sit and fish.”
“And get fat. You'll need it because it's friggin' cold and dark.”
“You'd better turn off the skin pigment too...soak in all the little sun you can.”
“Blonde hair?  Sure...double the follicles per square inch compared to a raven haired Mediterranean person. It's cold! That head needs it a hat, not a decoration.”



Mr. Brown
Did you see that somebody is marrying Manson?
12:49 PM Mr. Blue
Yes, some attention whore.
12:50 PM Mr. Brown
Yep
12:54 PM Mr. Silver
What happened to Dita? 
(says the guy who pays no attention to Manson's relationships)
Or do you mean Charlie?
Which Manson? 
12:57 PM Mr. Blue
Charlie.
12:57 PM Mr. Silver
Oh. is it that "Starr" girl?
Pretty clever, going for a 79 year old lifer-psychopath.
12:58 PM Mr. Blue
She's probably not the only one
1:02 PM Mr. Blue
I guess that's a pretty big thing...women wanting to meet violent offenders in prison.
1:03 PM Mr. Gray
Women like bad boys.
1:09 PM Mr. Blue
How do I become a bad boy?
1:10 PM Mr. Brown
Be very very stupid.
Very stupid and don't give a shit
1:10 PM Mr. Gray
If you have to ask...don’t try it, you'll only get hurt. LOL
1:10 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
1:11 PM Mr. Gray
Stupid isn’t a requirement...the not giving a shit is a requirement.
Attitude.
An element of danger.
Risk.
You have to be a challenge.
Nice guys aren’t a challenge, and usually equal boredom to a woman. Now keep in mind, these aren’t "keeper women" we're talking about. LOL
1:13 PM Mr. Blue
Hahaha! That's true.
1:13 PM Mr. Silver
Right...there are rules on both sides.
"A woman like that could ruin a man...if he was lucky." - Benny Hill
1:14 PM Mr. Gray
;-)



12:37 PM Mr. Brown
What is that growing on your arm, sir?
12:40 PM Mr. Amethyst
That’s Lemmys mole on vacation.
12:43 PM Mr. Silver
"Alien parasite survives on processed food toxins, invigorates delusional host human."
12:44 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
12:53 PM Mr. Silver
"Oddly enough, if I skip a meal, I start feeling pretty poorly pretty fast.  Once when I was really sick, I woke up on the kitchen floor, nearly paralyzed, with the broom in my hand waving feebly at a box of Ding Dongs up on the counter.  I don't even know how I got there from the bedroom."
"Somehow I had enough strength in my one arm to knock them off the counter, tear the package open and hold the cake to my face and force it in.”
"I ate the whole box and felt great afterward."



2:01 PM Mr. Silver
Nice reviews
2:06 PM Mr. Blue
I had high hopes for a Rick Santorum-produced Christmas film.
It must  be the same studio making all these Atlas Shrugged movies, despite their huge losses.
2:13 PM Mr. Silver
Just look at all these reviews!
"A box-office cash-less holiday film for the whole $3 DVD bin at FYE" – San Francisco Chronicle
"The feel-nothing hit of the Christmas season." - New York Times
"Napoleon Dynamite with fewer laughs, snow, and set in a non-existent place in England this time." - Boston Globe
2:18 PM Mr. Silver
"I'd use the candle to wish for a good Christmas movie."
2:18 PM Mr. Blue
"I'd wish for a better cast + different script."
2:19 PM Mr. Silver
"Produces films like he qualifies for the presidency, with world-class singers Susan Boyle and Samantha Barks cast in non-singing roles." - Michael Medved Show
2:27 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
2:34 PM Mr. Silver
Sigh...guess that game is over.
2:35 PM Mr. Blue
Samantha Bark shows a lot of cleavage on the red carpet.
I wonder why they agreed to cast such a hyper-sexualized actress for a family film.
2:38 PM Mr. Silver
It was Santorum's "magic candle" talking.
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