Day 189 - Mr. Teal's Eggs, Yucktopus In A Can, Too Buff For Computer Work, Fighting Fire With Teenage Cynicism

9:32 AM Mr. Teal

Hey EVERYONE !

I have 3 chocolate eggs here and need to find them a home.

Yes this is the Grand Prize

9:35 AM Tony

Angie is pregnant and loves chocolate. I gave her my bunny maybe she’ll eat your eggs.

9:35 AM Shawn

...

9:41 AM James

OK, thanks Tony!!!!!!!!  mind just went to the gutter on that comment.

9:42 AM Tony

not my intent

9:42 AM James

that i know

9:42 AM Tony.

keep chat professional please

9:42 AM Mr. Silver

A cornucopia of innuendo and euphemisms, if you think that way

9:43 AM James

my dose of Mr. Silver knowledge for the day, thank you O great one.

LOL

9:43 AM Mr. Silver

LOL

9:08 AM Mr. Brown

I found canned spiced octopus at the farmers market yesterday.

So I got one can to try.

9:10 AM Mr. Gray

You found octopus at the Farmer's Market?!

9:12 AM Mr. Brown

Canned octopus, spiced. In a can kind of like the baby oysters or sardines.

9:12 AM Mr. Blue

The whole octopus, or just tentacles?

9:12 AM Mr. Gray

I love octopus as far as sushi...now you have me curious.

9:12 AM Mr. Silver

Likewise.

9:12 AM Mr. Brown

I'm not sure what's in it yet, I have it with me here but haven't tried it yet.

9:21 AM Mr. Brown

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=reese+spiced+octopus&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1280&bih=917&wrapid=tlif133345896821010&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=H_h6T7ypKenV0QHhtvz-BQ

First picture.

9:24 AM Mr. Blue

I like the 4th picture: The a-bombed building in Japan. Somehow that's related to the search.

9:24 AM Mr. Brown

LOL

9:24 AM Mr. Silver

Now we know what the octopus is spiced with.

9:24 AM Mr. Blue

Yellow cake.

9:25 AM Mr. Silver

"Well...we label it 'octopus', but really we catch it at a site in Japan, on land.  It just kinda comes out of the ground and wriggles there."

It looks like you should have opted for "fancy", because "spicy" doesn't look so yummy.  Let us know though.

(Incidentally, I had a peek and it looked like Vienna Sausages in a gooey brown sauce. I passed. They said they liked it – Mr. Silver)

Mr. Brown

http://www.10news.com/news/30799522/detail.html?hpt=ju_bn6

“Man Falls In Man Hole Then Man Sues Man Who Owns Man Hole”

10:41 AM Mr. Silver

Shenanigans!

"Harris, a computer programmer - Casey said his client is still not fully recovered."

"Here he was healthy, he could exercise, he could play sports"

Shenanigans!!!

10:42 AM Mr. Blue

Heheh!

"Now he's glued to the couch all day, eating Ho-Hos and playing video games"

Mr. Silver

"New Robot Fights Fires When It Can Be Bothered" 

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/04/navy-robot-gym/

2:32 PM Mr. Blue

LOL

2:33 PM Mr. Silver

"All the sighing and snarky comments are built into the AI." says Navy robotics expert.

We continued to watch as Octavia looked from us to the fire in simulated despite.

"So, like, you're just going to stand there and let it burn if I don't put it out...sigh...whatever..." states Octavia, as part of the complex firefighting routine.

"That indicates that she's detected the fire and is deciding if, and how, to proceed.  The next few moments are crucial to determine if she sprays the fluid or just wanders off to watch TV."

2:40 PM Mr. Blue

"I just saw you set this fire, Doctor Howard," accuses the robot.

"We spent over 3 years developing the technology for a robot to detect and combat fires,” commented a programmer, “And another 6 to develop the look of judgment and incredulous demeanor."

2:38 PM Mr. Silver

"Fine!" Octavia proceeds to extinguish the flame - an achievement that has taken 9 years and millions of dollars to develop.  "So embarrassing...I hate this place.  I'm going out." 

"That's the all clear," announces the research team leader.

Day 188 - The War On Freedom From Your Religion, Quease Inducing Quackeries, and Bad News For God At The School's 'Intelligent Design' Fair

Mr. Silver

"Republicans Pin Remaining Chances On Classic Non-Existent Cause."

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/01/republicans-rally-against-war-on-religious-freedom/

“The dim bulbs of our concept of freedom may well go out if we don’t win this election,” the former Pennsylvania senator said, urging supporters to pick a true conservative panderer over frontrunner Mitt Romney.

"This speculative intellectual outcome received cheers from Democratic analysts, though they conceded it the chances of success be as great a fantasy as the so-called 'war'."

9:38 AM Mr. Blue

We *don't* talk about God in schools *because* we have freedom of/from religion.

9:46 AM Mr. Silver

"Freedom of Not Hearing About Your Religion."

9:47 AM Mr. Blue

That lady would probably move to Canada if she knew the true beliefs of James Madison and Thomas Jefferson, to name a couple.

9:51 AM Mr. Silver

In a related headline: 

"Women Realize Republican Patriarchal Blowhards Blow, Hard."

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/01/huge-shift-among-female-voters-gives-obama-lead-in-battleground-states/

Favorite quote, italics mine:

“The focus on contraception has not been a good one for us,” admits Republican strategist Sarah Taylor Fagen, “and Republicans have unfairly taken on water on this issue.”

Really?  Really Sarah?

9:55 AM Mr. Silver

I would categorize using your bailer to pour water INTO the leaky rowboat is mostly unfair to the other passengers trying to get the water back out.

Mr. Silver

Hmmm

http://www.popsci.com/gadgets/gallery/2012-03/archive-gallery-swindlers-quackery-and-snake-oil

11:39 AM Mr. Silver

"You watched the soldiers come home disturbing and the sailors come home all effete.  Now you can be that way too."

11:45 AM Mr. Silver

Interestingly, the inventor of the hair growing hat wasn't wrong about hair roots going dormant.

11:48 AM Mr. Brown

Mine are dormant.

11:49 AM Mr. Silver

It plugs in...I'm assuming it's just a massager.

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

"Don't be like this bald man, pictured here in a Shriner fez only marginally less embarrassing than being bald.  No!  Buy one of my patented fashionable fedora or bowler hats!" 

On second thought, that looks like a lightbulb socket.

11:52 AM Mr. Brown

Having trouble staying awake at work? Are you not able to concentrate? Well I have the product for you! For just five payments of $24.99 you can get the Shocker Hat. You won't fall asleep at work again.

Just hook this cord in the hat to a car battery and wallah! You're alert and awake!

(Warning: Do not use for extended periods of time, do not use near water.)

11:53 AM Mr. Blue

Do not use if you are pregnant or nursing, or may become pregnant. Do not use if you have a functioning heart.

11:54 AM Mr. Brown

lol

11:56 AM Mr. Silver

"Gently cooks the brain under 40 watts of the miracle of 'electricity'."

11:56 AM Mr. Blue

Shocker Hat™ reserves the right to enter your home and take all of your possessions in the event of your untimely demise due to Shocker Hat™

Shocker Hat™ available at Walgreens.

12:05 PM Mr. Silver

The yeast one really bugs me.

#1...He essentially just asked his own sister out on a date.

12:07 PM Mr. Silver

#2...Big brother's use of 'beautiful' for his little sister is similarly disturbing.

12:08 PM Mr. Blue

What are you looking at?

12:08 PM Mr. Silver

Fleischmann's Yeast for Acne

The face full of gangrene is nasty too.

12:10 PM Mr. Silver

"Aw--my face decaying is no reason Jean!"

12:17 PM Mr. Blue

"Physically fit" in those days meant slightly doughy with a barrel chest, and never exhaling.

The Robert Mitchum method of physical fitness.

Mr. Brown

Wouldn't it suck if we made it out of our galaxy just to find out we have been staring at God's shoe box lid this whole time?

His little 5th grade science project.

12:36 PM Mr. Silver

"I got a D???"

12:37 PM Mr. Brown

He got third in the science fair.

Buddha got 2^nd.

Odin got 1^st.

12:45 PM Mr. Silver

Odin didn't wuss out on his project's ending like the other two.

12:45 PM Mr. Brown

Yep

lol

12:46 PM Mr. Silver

(Judge 1) "Eh...oneness with the universe...ok...sort of an oblivion of serenity.  He balanced the math, I'll give him a lot of credit for that.”

(Judge 2) “Definitely a passable resolution. Looking at Yahweh's, now. Ugh... Eternally wandering around being happy, looking at Him? Yeah right.  It's just completely egotistical, and where's the sustainability?  No wonder all those pieces malfunctioned near the beginning and had to be dumped into what He's calling His 'isolated sub project'."

12:49 PM Mr. Brown

(Judge 1) "Now Odin finished with an ultimate demise to everything in existence, with a no-holds-barred fight up till the end. Exciting, clearly defined, conclusive.  Great job!"

12:55 PM Mr. Silver

(Judge 2) "Agreed...started with chaos, ended with chaos.  Top marks.  And he has recycled materials to work with at the end for another project, and Yahweh used all His up."

(Incidentally, I enjoyed this sequence too much to point out that neither Buddha nor Odin created their versions of the universe to Mr. Brown – Mr. Silver)

Day 187 - Pink Is Macho, Pliny The Irritable, Accidental Hassenpfeffer, and A Speeder Bike Is A Long Time To Come In A Dealership Far Far Away

Mr. Silver

"Santorum Loses His Tiny Number of Black Voters, Gains Tiny Number Of White Voters"

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/03/30/santorum-denies-calling-obama-the-n-word/

11:47 AM Mr. Blue

I was equally offended by his bowling excursion where he told some kid not to use a pink ball

and repeated it with something like "friends don't let friends use pink balls".

11:48 AM Mr. Silver

Silver Jr. played with one yesterday...it was cyber-bowling...it glowed very nicely.

Sadly he's now indoctrinated into...some...group that likes glowing stuff. Oh yes, “everyone”.

11:48 AM Mr. Blue

Santorum's a modern day Roy Cohn.. it's only a matter of time before he's caught with his schlong out in some all-male S&M shop.

11:49 AM Mr. Blue

Pink is a feminine color so OBVIOUSLY Silver Jr. is gay now. And now that he's gay, his life is pretty much over and he's going to Hell.

11:50 AM Mr. Silver

"One you start down the pink path, forever will it dominate you."

Pink, incidentally, used to be a male-appropiate-only color. 

As a shade of red it was considered too aggressive for girls.

11:53 AM Mr. Blue

A lot of your innards are pinkish.

11:54 AM Mr. Silver

It turns out that all men with pink skin are gay.

Who knew?

11:54 AM Mr. Silver

Of course the vast majority of them cover it up by dating gay women.

A conspiracy 10s of thousands of years, just lurking in the background.  Shameful.

And yes...I'm just waiting for the Santorum expose'.

11:56 AM Mr. Blue

It won't even be front page news; nobody will be surprised.

"Santorum caught with HIV-positive male escort in seedy Omaha hotel." on page B7

11:59 AM Mr. Silver

"Style" section.

Or perhaps in with the comics.

1:51 PM Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panotti

2:09 PM Mr. Silver

As far as Panotti, I'd immediately have hassled Pliny with "If they use their ears for clothes and blankets, don't their ears get cold?  So their ears would need clothes.  So technically, they wear clothes, right? Even though they would still be naked?"

2:12 PM Mr. Silver

"Δεν ξέρω!!!"

2:15 PM Mr. Brown

I accidentally cooked some baby bunnies once.

2:16 PM Mr. Silver

I read that in Beavis's voice.

2:18 PM Mr. Blue

How do you accidentally cook and eat baby rabbits?

Did they just hop into the pot and then into your mouth?

2:18 PM Mr. Brown

I did not eat them.

2:19 PM Mr. Silver

"The Accidental Chef" by Julia Child

"First, accidentally get out a large pan and accidentally put it on the stove."

2:19 PM Mr. Brown

I started a fire in my fire pit. I'd jumped around on it to make sure nothing was in there, and

then next thing I know half-charred baby rabbits start coming out of the fire.

2:19 PM Mr. Silver

Thus proving to Medieval scholars that bunnies are fire elementals, like salamanders.

2:19 PM Mr. Brown

I had to kill them to put them down.

2:21 PM Mr. Brown

Hassenpfeffer

2:22 PM Mr. Silver

"KFCs new Popcorn Hassenpfeffer!"

2:23 PM Mr. Brown

Kind of sucks that you can't live on rabbits; you end up starving.

lol

2:28 PM Mr. Silver

Um...like...a vitamin thing?

2:28 PM Mr. Brown

Yeah. Too lean.

So if you get deserted on a island of rabbits you're F'd.

2:29 PM Mr. Silver

Raise some fat rabbits

"Stop hopping and eat way too much while watching this TV."

2:33 PM Mr. Silver

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_starvation

So you don't starve...you poison yourself long before that

Mr. Green

Heheh... nice.

Hoverbike!

http://www.gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com/technology/gadgetbox/10-insane-very-real-flying-machines-598995

8:32 AM Mr. Silver

3', 0 MPH

8:32 AM Mr. Green

Yeah, but it's a start. At least they're working on them.

8:35 AM Mr. Green

By 2098, they should be perfected... lol

Day 186 - Even A Bland Adventure Is Good If The Soundtrack Is Exciting, Concuvensent, I Wish They All Could Be Kyrgystani Girls, The Sekhmet Slaughterers Are 10-0 With No Survivors So Far This Season, Pissing Away A Golden Opportunity, "Coconut Fenny, Shaken Not Stirred", Life On The Gated Community Streets With Chet Haze, and A Good Lead-In For A Challenging Situation For The Next D&D Game

Mr. Silver

Looking forward to Sunday

8:53 AM Mr. Silver

Master Peng's down for some ultra-intense person location and charity!  RAHHHHH!

8:55 AM Mr. Silver

(blaring thriller music as team walks through neighborhood...lull in the music) 

"Hey, kid...you know where Alice Twotrees lives?" 

"Peach St...that way...you some sort of secret agent or something?"  

(beat) 

"I'm just a peddlar..." 

(Blaring theme music)

8:56 AM Mr. Green

LOL

9:00 AM Mr. Silver

(Get to the door...hand signals...nods...take up positions, salty, weapons drawn, eyes sharp.  Knock at the door.) 

"Yes?"  

"You Alice Twotrees?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Have this large bag of money." 

"WOW!  THANKS!  You guys with the government?" 

(beat)

"We're nobody...  Let's go guys." 

(blaring musical finale) 

9:04 AM Mr. Silver

Mr. Green "Ok...everyone gets 10 XP.  And 2 more for Peng for remaining in character by claiming to be a peddlar."

9:05 AM Mr. Gray

LMAO

I think you deserve exp for just typing that. LOL

9:06 AM Mr. Silver

I'm just a humble scene writer...

10:23 AM Mr. Green

Mr. Teal

Sorry, what were your questions or is it mute at this point?

Or is it Con...Concuvensent or what that fancy school learnin’ word

10:17 AM Mr. Green

LMAO... moot Mr. Teal, the word is moot... mute is what I wish most people were.

10:17 AM Mr. Teal

LOL

10:23 AM Mr. Gray

LMAO

10:26 AM Mr. Silver

Zow!

Hehe

Do I get XP for using "concuvensent" in the game Sunday?

10:27 AM Mr. Green

Yes, if you make me believe it.

10:27 AM Mr. Silver

I guess it'd be more "collection of syllables" than "word", really.

Mr. Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_kidnapping#Kyrgyzstan 

Does our society seem backwards to them?  Who is right and who is wrong?

10:46 AM Mr. Gray

LOL  Hey...seems to make things simple.

12:11 PM Mr. Silver

So you could get a Kyrgyz wife just by swooping in and grabbing one.

12:15 PM Mr. Blue

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/kyrgyzstan/8390667/Miss-Kyrgyzstan-barred-from-Miss-World-after-onstage-spat.html 

Who's going to be the first to abduct her?

Interesting features.  I’ll bet she has some Genghis Khan in her.

I’m not sure I’d want to mess with that kind of bloodline.

12:20 PM Mr. Silver

"Her hobbies include riding small horses, ballet, collecting small fur hats, charity work, and burning Chinese peasants in their huts while laughing hysterically."

12:21 PM Mr. Blue

"and eating dried, cured mutton."

12:23 PM Mr. Silver

"For the talent portion if the evening, she will juggle a goat head on the end of two traditional lances, and perform an interpretive dance depicting impalement."

12:25 PM Mr. Blue

"Miss America, what is best in life?" 

"Sunny days, lemonade, and being with friends and family."

"Wrong!  Miss Kyrgyzstan, what is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!" 

"Good!  Good!"

Mr. Blue

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/sports/high-school-basketball/beaver-falls-loses-to-imhotep-charter-in-final-627855/ 

There's a school called "Imhotep Charter" in PA?

9:10 AM Mr. Silver
"They kept chanting stuff and claiming awful things about the spirit world and us having our hearts devoured.
And then there was a sand storm right at the end...how?  The gym doors weren't even open to the outside and it wasn't windy out.
And what's with the funky uniforms their team wears?  They just looked like dirty rags."

9:13 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

“And the referee called a play against one of them, and these scarabs swarmed the guy from beneath the benches....oh the horror!”

9:14 AM Mr. Blue

Heheh

9:15 AM Mr. Brown

There is a TV show about a school with Egyptian stuff.

The students solve mysteries and use special Egyptian powers.

9:21 AM Mr. Blue

It’s called "Saved by the Bell".

9:21 AM Mr. Brown

LOL

9:21 AM Mr. Gray

LOL

9:22 AM Mr. Gray

That’s what the A in A.C. Slater stands for isn’t it...Amun?

9:23 AM Mr. Brown

Skreech - the leader of the scarabs.

9:23 AM Mr. Gray

He was into bugs, if I remember right.

9:23 AM Mr. Brown

Yes.

He was also a god in Hawaii – reincarnated.

Mr. Brown

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/stinks-bizarre-trash-collects-oil-patch-16000701#.T3t5p9mP-8A
11:03 AM Mr. Silver
If only North Dakota could find a way to tap into the urine industry.
Sure, the demand is just a trickle right now.
But properly promoted, there could be a steady stream to the area where most needed.

Mr. Gray

http://news.yahoo.com/pakistan-bans-film-featuring-indian-james-bond-065742156.html

11:21 AM Mr. Gray

An Indian James Bond...Interesting.  Heh

I wonder if he breaks into a Bollywood musical scene.

11:21 AM Mr. Blue

Probably.

11:23 AM Mr. Gray

"Vinod...you have 10 seconds to disarm the bomb.....AFTER you sing about the woman you love."

11:24 AM Mr. Brown

Vinod, you must save the cows.

11:25 AM Mr. Gray

"I swear to cow, I will save the city!"

11:30 AM Mr. Silver
"The bomb is in the curry, Agent Vinod!"
"You're telling me...I was in the bathroom for 1/2 an hour."

Mr. Blue

Speaking of Twitter, I got  blocked by Tom Hanks' son.

His name is Chester, but he goes by "Chet Haze" and is an aspiring rapper/hip hop artist.

Pretty much everybody rips on him because he raps about street life and stuff.

He tweeted something like "Thank you so much to all my fans and followers!  I love all ya'll!" and I replied "We're all just following you ironically" and he blocked me.

12:14 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe
12:16 PM Mr. Silver
I'm inspired to look up his lyrics.

12:16 PM Mr. Blue

They’re awful.

There’s nothing wrong with growing up privileged and then trying to be a rapper, but it's the content he tries to rap about.

12:21 PM Mr. Silver
Most people have certain difficulties relating to, say, the trials and tribulations of getting the old pool taken out and waiting for the new one to be installed.
12:24 PM Mr. Silver
"Yo!  This next rhyme is about how F-d up my 16th birthday party was.  Put your hands together for my latest: "F- the Caterers from Spago Bev Hills."

12:25 PM Mr. Blue

Hehehe

12:56 PM Mr. Silver
Poor kid, growing up in a home with the front fountain frequently off during drought conditions in summer.  No wonder he's angry.

12:57 PM Mr. Brown

lol

Can’t have a camp fire on the estate grounds.

“I'm from the streets – the STREETS!!!!!

1:10 PM Mr. Silver

From the bad end of Rodeo Drive.

Mr. Yellow

I would say, do whatever fits your story best. I will not bitch, and I am the rules lawyer. lol

2:06 PM Mr. Yellow

I trust you will not F- us.  Put us in challenging situations?  Yes.  Just try to F- us?  No.

And challenging situations make the game fun.

3:03 PM Mr. Silver

Mr. Green  "So anyway, there's all these beholders, maybe 20, and they're zooming on past...I mean they're hauling ass and they look terrified.  They pay no attention to you except to weave through the party.  Occasionally, one says "Shh!" quietly."

Mr. Gray "Ummm."

Mr. Green "Anyone wanna bother with a Sense Motive roll?"

Mr. Yellow "Nope..."

3:31 PM Mr. Yellow

LOL

That would be troubling.