Day 183 - The Zen Of IT, Yo Ho Bitches & Hos, Try Looking Into A Quantum Mirror, Whitney Stopped Loving You In February, A Little 'Z Machine' In The Shower Can Really Keep A Party Hopping, and The Alien Invasion Can Be Thwarted Simply By Moving Our Patrol Boat

Tony

I'm working on finding an account with Crystal.

12:04 PM Tony

My Zen is shot.  I need to maintain my calm.

12:08 PM Mr. Silver
Close your eyes....breathe deeply. 
Picture yourself in an exquisite rock garden, in loose clothing, and a cool breeze is moving the trees. 
The birds are singing...
A brook is rippling...
And your Crystal Reports crashed for the second day in a row.
Better?



7:07 AM Mr. Silver
Yo ho

7:08 AM Mr. Green

I ain’t no ho... I don’t get paid for it... I'm a slut... LOL

7:08 AM Mr. Silver
Hehe
“Yo ho ho” just sounds like it has too many hos in it...and women on board are bad luck as it is.



Mr. Silver
"Werner Heisenberg demonstrates 'Quantum Hairstyle Model'."
http://arstechnica.com/science/news/2012/03/quantum-optics-may-remove-the-uncertainty-about-quantum-gravity.ars
8:07 AM Mr. Silver
"Quantum photographic techniques clearly show that the combination of quantum gravity and quantum mousse effectively represents the famous Heisenberg's Uncertainty About How His Hair Looks Principle."



Mr. Silver
"And IIIIIiiiiiiIIIiiIIIII Will always love YOOOOOooOoOOOoOO!"

10:10 AM Mr. Blue

Too soon.

10:10 AM Mr. Silver
Is it?
So I can't sing "And IIIIIiIIIiIIIi stopped loving YOOOoooOOoOOOoo"?
10:14 AM Mr. Silver
:-(

10:12 AM Scotty

Annndddd IIIIIIEEEEEEIIIIIEEEEIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE CRRRRRAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Silver
Soon we will be able to simulate enough power for all of planet Earth's energy needs:
http://www.physorg.com/news/2012-03-nuclear-fusion-simulation-high-gain-energy.html

Mr. Yellow

Sweet!  I want one to power my car.

2:15 PM Mr. Silver
Yup
2:20 PM Mr. Silver
I'll draw you a picture of one and you can put it in your trunk. 
I was all excited until I properly noticed the word 'simulated'

2:21 PM Mr. Yellow

LOL

2:21 PM Mr. Silver
They called it the Z machine? 
"It must be pronounced in a faux French accent.  'Eet eez Zee Machine!  Turn on Zee Machine!'...see?" 
"The MIF technique heats the fusion fuel (deuterium-tritium) by compression as in normal inertial fusion, but uses a magnetic field to suppress heat loss during implosion. The magnetic field acts like a kind of shower curtain to prevent charged particles like electrons and alpha particles from leaving the party early and draining energy from the reaction."
This techy-speak sounds more like euphemisms.
It's a shower curtain?
To prevent particles from leaving the party?
What kind of party does this author go to?

2:24 PM Mr. Blue

"I’d like to leave this party but I’m afraid they've got a shower curtain blocking all the exits!"

Maybe we should just stretch a big shower curtain across the US-Mexico border.

2:29 PM Mr. Blue

"Why don't they just make the whole PLANE out of shower curtains?"

Hey, if you're free this Saturday, I’m hosting a party in my bathtub.  I’ll put you down as +1.  Gonna be shampoo, conditioner, loofas, the works. Full spread.

2:34 PM Mr. Silver
But fair warning, you won't be allowed to leave the shower until midnight.

2:36 PM Mr. Blue

Sorry I was late for work.  My shower curtain got stuck and I couldn't get out.

Mr. Blue

So the battleship movie that's based on the board game has aliens in it.

I don't remember aliens in the board game.

At what point is something no longer based on the original?

"It’s a remake of Gone With the Wind, only it's set in Shanghai in 2098 during a robot uprising."

2:43 PM Mr. Silver
I can see that second one...
There are no aliens in the boardgame...however I can guarantee the movie-version design is finished and there may be a warehouse full of them.

2:44 PM Mr. Blue

Heh, yeah.

Apparently aliens want to use our oceans to generate their power source. 

You know, they'd just land in the water and assume we'd be cool with it.

2:50 PM Mr. Silver
What a silly idea.
If they could get here at all with a planet-conquering-sized force, they don't need anything on our speck.

2:51 PM Mr. Blue

Yeah.

2:51 PM Mr. Silver
"We search the galaxy for cheap gas."
2:54 PM Mr. Silver
"We came to your planet when your primitive transmissions showed us that regular unleaded was a mere $1.54, but now that we see that it's up to $3.85, we must regrettably destroy you." 
2:58 PM Mr. Silver
"Admiral!  Intelligence has calculated that the entire invasion fleet is arranged in a 10x10 grid.  We don't have their exact positions; just that they are stationary and arranged horizontally and vertically."
"Those green bastards have studied our own strategies and are using them against us...damn." 
"Yes sir.  Orders sir?" 
(paces and considers) "Fire a single shot at an axis of the 5th position X and 3rd Y.  That'll make them sweat, eh sailor?"
"Yes admiral!"

3:01 PM Mr. Blue

One of the pieces fit in diagonally.  I’d always do that and never lose.

3:04 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe

3:07 PM Mr. Blue

We should throw in civilian ships too.

"B2" 

"You just sunk a Portuguese shrimping boat.  You lose."

3:07 PM Mr. Silver
"Pull an ‘International Incident’ card!"