387 - Grease Icing, "Are You Plagiarizing Scarborough Fair?", An Unnecessarily Complicated Troubleshoot, World Irish Creeping Championships, and Conversation That Is Still Delectible Without Mustard

[11:26 AM] Mr. Blue:

Is there still a cookie stand at the mall that sells those cookie cakes?

I want a damn slice

[11:29 AM] Ms. Rose:

Yep. Straight in from the (store) entrance.

You can even order online. Great American Cookie Company.

[11:30 AM] Mr. Blue:

Sweet

"What do you want written on it?"

"Uhh... the entirety of Ulysses in vanilla."

[11:31 AM] Ms. Rose:

Hahahah

[11:31 AM] Mr. Blue:

I don't want any slices that are gypped out of icing

[11:32 AM] Ms. Rose:

I wish they sold just vats of icing. Skip the cookie part, just gimme the sugar that colors your tongue.

[11:32 AM] Mr. Blue:

I remember going on some type of field trip of some kind when the place was still at the corner (instead of the middle of the walking area) and they let us make our own

[11:33 AM] Ms. Rose:

Before juvenile diabeetus was invented.

[11:35 AM] Mr. Blue:

Theirs has a distinct taste that the ones at X and Y, while good, don't have.

Or they used to... We'll see if they still do.

[11:40 AM] Mr. Silver:

"Made with our signature and secret ingredient – Love™.” (*Love™ requires a pharmaceutical degree and permit to handle opiates. If you suspect your cookie maker of being under-qualified, please notify the DEA at 1-800-..." )

[11:41 AM] Mr. Blue:

Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not ingest, inhale or handle Love™

If astral projection occurs please seek medical attention

[11:45 AM] Mr. Brown:

Sugar icing is the best

None of that crappy butter shit

[11:46 AM] Mr. Silver: 

LOL at "astral projection"

Fortunately the era of grease icing is long past

(sings) "Go grease icing you're fillin' up the arteries...

[Grease icing!  Go-O grease icing!]

Go grease icing your packin' up the bathroom stall...

[Grease icing!  Go-O grease icing!]

My liver's green...ain't buttercream...grease icing!"

Buttercream is nice...it was that Crisco slop they used for about 10 years that was nasty.

[11:51 AM] Ms. Rose:

If you can scrape the buttery wax residue from your teeth after enjoying "icing," you probably have the wrong kind. But if your eyeballs start to vibrate and the world suddenly seems as colorful as the icing, buy more!

[12:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

After extracting Simon and Garfunkel, I'm much more interested in this tune now: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarborough_Fair_%28ballad%29

[12:40 PM] Ms. Rose:

OMG, I just finished that song on my playlist. Not joking. First time it ever came up.

[12:41 PM] Mr. Brown:

I garfunkeled Simon

[12:41 PM] Mr. Silver:

According to Garfunkel...he got Simoned

Tiny talented man...big ol' ego

[12:42 PM] Ms. Rose:

Heh heh heh "Tell him to plough it with a ram's horn"

[12:43 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Tell him to shove it, right up his...mule...  Parsley sage rosemary and thyme..."

[12:45 PM] Mr. Blue:

I didn't realize it was that old

I thought it was relatively recently made, but meant to sound old

[12:47 PM] Mr. Silver:

"We al-tered the ly-rics, and claimed it was ours...parsley sage rosemary and thyme..." 

[12:47 PM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[12:50 PM] Ms. Rose:

I think we need to re-do this whole song.

[12:51 PM] Mr. Silver:

“Tell him to take his i-iPhone 5...parsley sage rosemary and thyme...  and crack all the data for the F B I..."

"Then he'll be a friends... with benes of miiiine..."

Yes...very modern.

[12:53 PM] Mr. Blue:

Are you going to Big Butler Fair / hot dogs, funnel cakes, and deep fried oreos

[12:53 PM] Ms. Rose:

HAHAHAAHA!

Tell her to wash it in yon laundromat / where never sprung crackheads with their own quarters

We need another hook though. 

"Potheads, salts, rosemary, and meth?"

[1:02 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Tell 'er ta get a Jagr Pen's jersey, from Two-tha-sin three..."

"Bassi, perohghi, an' Dirty O fries..."

[1:03 PM] Ms. Rose:

LOL

It's weird that the song starts with "are you going to Scarborough fair" and then it just launches into all these demands. It's like when Mr. Oleo asks me if I want to see a movie.

"Okay, but I want popcorn and we have to stop and get smokes and it better not be too late and you're buying the ticket and can we not invite Mitch and Laura...etc."

"Are you going to Deadpool at 11:15? Re-mem-ber me to the crap-py friends I have...they can stay the crap friends of thine..."

[8:25 AM] Mr. Blue:

Call from agent “R. Goldberg”

[8:28 AM] Mr. Silver:

"We could correct your issue with a simple reboot, but I have a 30 step proposal I think you'll find amusing. We'll need a few items."

[8:42 AM] Mr. Silver:

So the World Irish Dance championships...  Seems like a no-brainer where you'd host such a thing. 

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/ng-interactive/2016/mar/23/world-irish-dancing-championships-in-glasgow-photo-essay

[8:42 AM] Mr. Blue:

Heheh

[8:42 AM] Mr. Silver:

Check out the teeth in pic #1

Spovf shhee tawks fvunny?

[8:44 AM] Mr. Blue:

When did it turn into a Texas beauty pageant?

[8:45 AM] Mr. Silver:

Was just wondering about that

There are categories up to age 30 (when attempting to continue to do this causes catastrophic injury and death)

Yet we are treated to a creepy Lolita photo collection.

Too bad...I usually love the eye candy of a properly dressed Irish dancer.

"Irish dancing was enjoyed by all from childhood to the grave...but then the average Irish lifespan shifted waaay longer."

The comments are nasty

It looks like the adults are dressing pretty trashy too now.

Morning Ms. Rose, have a link...

[9:39 AM] Ms. Rose:

What is with the super-fake blonde/black curls?

[9:53 AM] Mr. Silver:

As for the fake curls, we were more wondering this: When did Irish Dancing become a Texas Lolita pageant?

Figure skating actually used to include...you know...skating actual figures.

If you couldn't qualify, you didn't get to put on your glitter and show off for the crowd.

[9:58 AM] Ms. Rose:

Surely not! I thought figure skating was nothing but bashing in your opponent's knees.(Wow, I'm old.)

[9:58 AM] Mr. Silver:

But that changed because of the popularity of the glitter show.

Irish dancing really seems to have gone to Hell that direction.

[12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:

RE: Mr. Mustard

He's on medical leave, apparently

Odd fellow.  When he was new we were having some picnic day and he asked if they were serving long pork.  I knew the joke.  Been having cannibal quip exchanges ever since.

[11:53 AM] Mr. Munchkin:

:-?

[11:55 AM] Mr. Silver:

Funny fellow... I always wondered if he was actually a closet cannibal and thought I was too...or if he thought the same thing about me... or was just another goofball with a running gag.

[11:56 AM] Mr. Munchkin:

I think he likes pies too much to be a cannibal.

[11:56 AM] Mr. Silver:

Point of order "Sweeney Todd"

[11:56 AM] Mr. Munchkin:

Ha

[11:58 AM] Mr. Silver:

"This a pork pie?"

"Sure."

"I've never heard of the New Guinea Pot Pie Co."

"I order them special."

"Ah."

(great...now I'm doing this with you...)

386 - The Giant/Space/Buzzard Elements Don't Worry Me Much, "Raiders Of The Crushed Ark", Unsafe At Any Pace, By The Divine Hand Of Aphrodite, and "Beclowned"

[‎11:50 AM] Mr. Silver:

Sold!  http://www.badmovies.org/movies/giantclaw/

Looking it up just based on this: “any movie bold enough to feature a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD is a movie worth watching.”

Can't find their rating rules

[‎12:15 PM] Ms. Rose:

My dad is going to LOVE this site.

[‎12:20 PM] Mr. Brown:

https://www.google.com/search?q=GIANT+ANTIMATTER+SPACE+BUZZARD&espv=2&biw=1251&bih=868&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiO_v2k6YHLAhUpvoMKHe-KCAAQsAQIKQ

[‎12:20 PM] Mr. Silver:

Easy enough in the end based on the ones I knew...Skull is unbelievably bad, and the drops add up.  

[‎12:24 PM] Mr. Brown:

Looks like an old vulture from HR Puff n Stuff

lol

[‎12:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

Anti-matter. 

"No one will be admitted during the "buzzard detonates like a supernova when entering Earth's atmosphere" scene."

(Kid looking in telescope) "Is it dangerous, doctor?  It looks big!"

(Scientist) "Yes Timmy, big enough to eat a commercial airliner.  However the direct conversion of energy as it comes into contact with Earth matter will leave the western hemisphere looking like a cracked and empty eggshell."

"Gee willikers!"

"Gee willikers indeed, Timmy.  If we're lucky it'll hit a satellite and merely damage the atmosphere enough as it explodes to drive us underground for a few decades to avoid rampant skin cancer and cosmic ray damage."

"Well that's good then."

"Right you are, Timmy."

[‎12:36 PM] Mr. Blue:

They should remake some Twilight Zones into full length movies

[‎12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:

Terminator was basically one, wasn't it?

[‎12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:

Outer Limits

[‎12:37 PM] Mr. Silver:

Ah

[‎12:37 PM] Mr. Blue:

It's kind of 2 different Outer Limits episodes

Demon with the Glass Hand and uhh... Soldier

The beginning of Soldier is identical to the flashback (or flash forward?) scenes in Terminator of the future... with like those roving hunter/killers and lasers in a desolate wasteland. it's pretty cool.

Cameron didn't even try to disguise it. If anything he tried to make it look as similar as possible

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ_tHgNS_y5g-Z1XuX6c1ZCIvLGQIyamqCQScS4w-obfs6YR0tP0hmGR6EcidsyNzwOk-u8pBEZr18Is3e1BGzTVXiTa-t-yisPM4IueqQmPMUEtSO-u68LROPbqoiFWNHRMXpYSUIVyA/s1600/soldier.png

https://acautiousdisplay.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/vlcsnap-2012-08-06-01h56m13s169.png

2 links there

[‎12:46 PM] Mr. Silver:

Yup

[‎12:48 PM] Mr. Blue:

Harlan Ellison wrote both, I think

[‎12:51 PM] Mr. Silver:

Ever see the frame-by-frame opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark thing? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns8bG9AbfwM

[‎1:03 PM] Mr. Blue:

Hmm.. no

[‎1:04 PM] Mr. Silver:

Rather cool

[‎1:04 PM] Mr. Blue:

Watching it now

I wonder if every one of these is intentional or if they were just stuck in Spielberg’s subconscious

[‎1:05 PM] Mr. Silver:

I believe it was all intentional

Been years since I watched it, but the conversation reminded me.

[‎1:06 PM] Mr. Blue:

Indy needed a MASSIVE pith helmet

[‎1:09 PM] Mr. Silver:

I've only seen those huge ones in movies.

Just went off searching to see if there are real ones

No luck.  Wonder if Hollywood found them as, like, oversized demo/models/advertisements from hat shops, or just built them.

[‎1:15 PM] Mr. Blue:

"If someone tries to walk out of here with our sacred amulet thingy we're gonna crush them and the amulet with a huge boulder"

[‎1:15 PM] Mr. Silver:

“The god won't mind”

(long shot...full room...traps visible on floor as Indy approaches flattened dish-like idol on pedestal)

[‎1:17 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

[‎1:18 PM] Mr. Silver:

(Flunky) "Dr. Jones!  I thought we were after a figurine."

(Indy) "Shh...it just means someone was here before, checking it out...and checked out... (winning, smarmy grin over shoulder)"

I can't get the plane landing and takeoff from "Jungle Goddess" out of my head.  Ever watch that MST3K?

[‎1:38 PM] Mr. Blue:

I don't think so

[‎1:39 PM] Mr. Silver:

Steve Reeves was in it

(fight scene) "Man of steel, eh? (smack!) Give THIS to Perry White! (punch!)"

Anyway...

Whoever was in charge of making the "jungle" miniature did a fine job with foliage and little trees and such...like a big carpet of it.

Whoever was in charge of the "plane" miniature got a really nice detailed model.

But...

Whoever was in charge of the landing scene just rolled the plane over the target and mushed everything under it.  Plane would have to be nuclear powered, made of adamantium, and the jungle made of rubber to get a landing like that.

And it took off the same way.

[‎2:02 PM] Mr. Blue:

Was the plane scene at the beginning or end?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3SKwDHX1i4

It's around 36:00

LOL

I see what you mean

Take off is 1:30:00

LOL

That's pretty outrageous

Crash-landing a plane in a jungle and then taking off with the same plane from the same jungle

It reminds me of a scene in some movie with John Leguizamo and Mark Wahlberg where he's getting chased by a car and he runs into the woods... and the car follows him into the woods...and the car is just sawing trees in half and it just keeps on going

Wait, it was Lou Diamond Phillips

[‎2:10 PM] Mr. Silver:

See how the plane just sort of levitates in and up at about 20 MPH?  Hehe

"We're getting up to taxiing speed!  Press that "up" button, sweetheart!"

[‎2:11 PM] Mr. Blue:

LOL

It’s like it's a helicopter

[‎1:29 PM] Ms. Rose:

I hope all this crap melts so I can stop ice skating to work. I would make a crack about jerks in town don't shovel their walks. But we are one of those jerks, so...

[‎1:31 PM] Mr. Silver:

Honestly, as a walker, if the temperature changes are right, the only safe sidewalks are the unshovelled ones, and the only really safe place to walk is on the street.

[‎1:32 PM] Ms. Rose:

Yes!

It's like: fast walk through 4 cement pieces that are clear, slow waaaay down and skate through the next 10 pieces of cement, fast walk again, dodge the one random frozen puddle, back to crawl pace...

[‎1:32 PM] Mr. Silver:

Which brings up my thought from this morning I forgot.

"It's not safe to walk the streets anymore."

(ponders)

"When and where has it EVER been safe to walk on streets?"

"There are cars, bikes, horses, trollies, wagons, oxen, stagecoaches..."

[‎1:34 PM] Ms. Rose:

LOL

[‎1:36 PM] Mr. Silver:

"The coroner's report was that he was walking the streets."

"What was he thinking? Its not safe!"

[‎3:27 PM] Mr. Brown:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3461709/Schoolboy-16-live-Russian-porn-star-hotel-month-winning-online-competition-admits-mother-isn-t-happy-it.html

Um, ok

[‎3:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

"Russian 16 year old boy wins puberty"

"A vast compilation of international rite-of-passage events, "scores", "wins", purity tests, and the like has been compiled as a universal reference, and this kid's achievement scored so high that it is not even on the scale as "possible"."

"Several ailing traditional and monarchical governments have offered Shedrin the throne as "king", citing the manifest divine hand of God in the Russian boy's fate."

[1:28 PM] Mr. Silver:

A headline really can't get much better than this: 

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/03/former-psy-ops-soldier-wearing-a-clown-suit-arrested-for-smoking-meth-at-waffle-house-counter/

The writer used the word "beclowned" (swoon)

[1:29 PM] Mr. Blue:

Is that a tattoo?

[1:29 PM] Mr. Silver:

AND he was armed!  (squeeeee!)

Oh, I HOPE it is a tattoo, yes.  Ballpoint would be OK, but...

Good LORD this can't keep going like this!  (cries) -

“he had smoked meth from a pipe left sitting on the counter.

Officers searched Worthington, and they said they found LSD wrapped in foil and some rolling papers. His book bag contained a jar of psychedelic mushrooms and a jar of marijuana, as well as a digital scale and gold box that contained still more pot and unidentified white powder, police said."

Sadly, no, it is not a tattoo.  But he should be encouraged.

http://content-img.newsinc.com/jpg/1391/30437089/32602226.jpg?t=1457038740

They even ended it with a loopy quote from the guy. 

I'm so happy now.