Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Day 202 - Day Of The Cats!, Winding Down The Dog Meats Of Summer, The New Line From Chez Smurf, The Distillers Never Meant Tequila, Good Old Bad Science, and Mega-Jaws

Mr. Blue
9:24 AM Mr. Silver
(splash texts in succession on theater screen to stock B-thriller music)
"The Day of the Cats"
"Shock!” 
“Horror!” 
“Killer…
“Klaws!"
"What caused our feline friends..."
"To turn into man-hunting killing machines???"
"From the people who brought you 'War of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'!!!"  [*used without permission, Mexico release only]
“Starring Alan Hale as the researcher in a captain's hat.”
9:29 AM Mr. Blue
Hahaha!
I see him delivering awful cat puns at inopportune times.
9:29 AM Mr. Silver
Dr. Skipper - "You see little buddy?  The birds are all gone now, so the cats have none to catch.  If only I could consult a certain professor I knew on the subject."
(splash texts)
"No one to be admitted during the horrifying 'litterbox' scene!!!"
"Don't be caught outdoors without your...”
“Day of the Cats catnip and feather toy!”
“Available in the lobby of this theater!"
“Don’t miss!”
"The Day of the Cats"


11:45 AM Mr. Blue
Wait, what?
Tuesday is the day South Koreans traditionally eat dog meat and other foods that they believe will help ease the heat by increasing their stamina?
Every Tuesday? Even in winter?
11:46 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah. LOL
11:46 AM Mr. Silver
South Korean winter heatwaves are dogmeat brutal.
11:46 AM Mr. Blue
LOL
If I’m hot, I eat something cold, not hot dog meat.
11:47 AM Mr. Silver
If I recall what I read correctly, after doubting M.A.S.H., their winters are pretty friggin cold.
11:53 AM Mr. Brown
I’d think they would have other herbs and such that would actually do something, as opposed to dog meat, which is just meat .
Like eat some tiger testicles.
LOL
11:53 AM Mr. Silver
Traditional hokum is traditional.
11:54 AM Mr. Silver
Lot of eastern herbalism and such is amazing.  But as soon as they start shifting into magic cures for personal/vanity/unsolvable problems, it falls apart.
11:55 AM Mr. Silver
"I'd like the tiger balls for virility...and it's a little hot today, so could you wrap them in dog meat?"
11:55 AM Mr. Blue
Heh


12:46 PM Mr. Brown
Just saw some socks with sandals outside.
Blue socks, blue sandals.
12:46 PM Mr. Blue
Did you say gutentag?
Sandals on guys is a bad idea in general.
12:47 PM Mr. Brown
This was a girl.
Dark blue sandals with light blue socks
lol
12:48 PM Mr. Blue
Young or old?
12:48 PM Mr. Brown
Younger, but old enough to know better.
12:50 PM Mr. Silver
Around here?  The foreign fashion capitol of eastern European style, 1976?
12:50 PM Mr. Brown
She was also wearing a white t-shirt.
Kind of dirty.
12:50 PM Mr. Brown
And short blue shorts that matched the socks.
So some thought had to have gone into her wardrobe.
12:52 PM Mr. Silver
Smurf-chic
12:53 PM Mr. Blue
Attractive/unattractive?
Was she hipster or just filthy?
Sometimes the differences are subtle.
12:55 PM Mr. Silver
A dirty sort of clean
As opposed to a clean sort of dirty...every man's dream.
1:06 PM Mr. Blue
What was she on a scale of 1-10, 1 being Betty White and 10 being Patrick Dempsey?
1:07 PM Mr. Brown
5
A hard 5
1:09 PM Mr. Gray
Hard?
On a 5?  Takes me at least a 7
1:09 PM Mr. Blue
Heheh.
1:10 PM Mr. Brown
Dempsey is an 11 because when he is in the scale, my scale goes to 11.
1:10 PM Mr. Blue
Hahaha
1:10 PM Mr. Gray
LMAO


Mr. Yellow
You guys do not have any 1800 tokillya in 1.75 liter bottles do you?
3:03 PM Mr. Gray
Nope
3:04 PM Mr. Yellow
Ok, good.  I did not want anyone drinking any and missing the game because they were dead or in the hospital.
3:05 PM Mr. Gray
I don’t do Tequila.
3:05 PM Mr. Green
Nope.  Never.
3:06 PM Mr. Green
I can't even get it down; it comes right back up.
3:06 PM Mr. Yellow
People should stay clear of tokillya
3:13 PM Mr. Silver
"The PA LCB found out that stuff is from Mexico. Who knew, right? So we’re offering a voluntary recall."


Mr. Silver
2:40 PM Mr. Brown
I might have caught a glimpse of that show.
2:42 PM Mr. Blue
It’s weird.
Not really laugh-out-loud funny. More nostalgic, quirky funny.
2:43 PM Mr. Brown
So, like watching Bill Nye the Science Guy without learning anything.
2:51 PM Mr. Blue
It reminded me a lot of the crap they'd make us watch in elementary school.
So out-of-date it was nauseating.
2:52 PM Mr. Silver
Yup
2:53 PM Mr. Blue
2:54 PM Mr. Amethyst
“Darwin was wrong, DARWIN WAS WRONG! HE WAS WRONG!!!!!!!!”
2:55 PM Mr. Silver
Things like the ol' "A modern computer can make thousands of decisions a second (images of spinning tapes and tiny green screens...)!"
Meanwhile you're in class wearing a watch with more power than the room of machines on the screen.
2:56 PM Mr. Blue
Exactly.
I remember a watching a video at school where the teacher kept pausing the video and telling us the parts that had since been disproven.
It was just a health-related video in gym class, but still funny.
2:58 PM Mr. Blue
"You should always wear a flat-soled shoe when running outd” -- *pause* -- "Okay class, never wear a flat-soled shoe when running." -- *play* “oors.”
2:59 PM Mr. Silver
"Doctors recommend a healthy diet of beef and pork, and relaxing with a pack of Chesterfields before bed."
(pause)
"Ok class...the part about the pork is wrong."
(unpause)
2:59 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
3:02 PM Mr. Brown
“When you get an STD go to doctor for penicillin.”  (pause)  “Now class that is not true.  Most of the STD strains are too strong for that so don't do it at all."  (unpause)
(Enjoy an episode - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lDSjuo67LM - Mr. Silver)


Mr. Gray
Tonight on Shark Week...”SHARKZILLA”
3:33 PM Mr. Amethyst
WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!
3:34 PM Mr. Gray
3:34 PM Mr. Silver
"Attack of the Land-Walking Hammerheads and Sawfish!"
3:34 PM Mr. Silver
Sorry...thought we were on Syfy titles kick again.
I guess people seeing a title like "Megalodon!" would tune in expecting to see a dinosaur or even Godzilla.
So Sharkzilla works.
3:36 PM Mr. Amethyst
Dude, megalodon was a beast.
3:36 PM Mr. Gray
Yep...they are going to go over what a megalodon was capable of.
3:38 PM Mr. Blue
Eating a great white whole, for starters.
3:38 PM Mr. Silver
"See these giant teeth?  Back away, son...they are millions of years old, but this shark was so bad-ass the teeth can still kill you.  I said BACK OFF kid!  OH GOD!!!  LOOK OUT!  THEY'RE FRENZYING! THEY'RE...nah I'm kidding, they're just teeth."
3:38 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL
3:38 PM Mr. Gray
They made metal jaws that bite at the estimated pressure of a Megalodon.  I wonder what all they will crunch with them.  Hehe
The T-Rex jaws they made crushed a car.
3:39 PM Mr. Silver
"Our study of Megalodon jaws and teeth have revealed that they were actually quite docile, and lived off of plankton." 
(Discovery Channel audience) *click*
3:39 PM Mr. Gray
Hehe
3:39 PM Mr. Brown
Adamantium Shark!
There’s a Syfy movie .
3:39 PM Mr. Gray
Granted...the plankton was about the size of a horse....
3:40 PM Mr. Silver
And could shoot ACID DARTS!
"New on Syfy in August!  "Megalodon Versus Plankton!" 
3:41 PM Mr. Gray
LMAO
3:41 PM Mr. Silver
(Chief Brody) "We're gonna need a bigger pool skimmer!"
3:44 PM Mr. Silver
(Quint) "Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Plankton's in the water. Our plankton. (sings) Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish dancers. Farewell and adieu, ye nudibranchs of Spain..."
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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Day 201 - The Progressive Perils Of Being Too Successful At Questing, Uncomfortable Tales From Our Geneologies, Practical Body Armor For Women Soldiers, Some Men Love Men's Beach Volleyball, The Zen Of Archery Involves Lots Of Blather, A Champ & Divine Sore Loser Just Like Dear Old Dad, The Classic 'Bad Soup & A Movie' Night, and Furious Jesus Loves Mexican Food

Mr. Yellow
I am torn about working with this topaz dragon. If we live, we make out well, but all his "jobs" are really deadly.
“Go to a world where no one really travels and kill one of the most powerful beings you will run into that is not a god, and I will tell you how to surprise your current nemesis."
2:03 PM Mr. Silver
Yeah.  "This job is just personal" = "I put a big bet on this one with something important at stake."
Dragon - "You're assassins for pinks, man."
Us - "Pinks?"
Dragon - "Pinks?  Pink slips?  Ownership papers?  You kill it, I get another gambling plane.  It's personal."
Us - "And if we die?"
Dragon - "F that noise...you guys survive everything."
Us - "… … … You bet whoever that we'd lose..."
Dragon - "NO WAY!!!"
2:07 PM Mr. Green
LMAO



Mr. Gray
Gotta admit...the Nazi's did throw kick butt parades.
9:18 AM Mr. Blue
My grandma met Himmler and Hitler at one of them.
9:18 AM Mr. Gray
Really?
9:18 AM Mr. Silver
It's a creepy tale...ewww.
9:18 AM Mr. Blue
Yeah
9:19 AM Mr. Gray
That's a pretty cool story, actually.
9:19 AM Mr. Blue
At a parade through Nurnberg. She was 6 or 7, sitting on the steps of her apartment. Someone picked her up and put her on the car/float thing that contained the top guys; that's how I recall the story.
9:19 AM Mr. Silver
She sat on Himmler's lap, didn't she?
9:20 AM Mr. Gray
"Here, have a small girl!!"
9:20 AM Mr. Blue
I think so.
9:20 AM Mr. Silver
Himmler to self - "I wonder if the crowd would get upset if I took a bite."
9:20 AM Mr. Gray
LOL
9:23 AM Mr. Brown
I'm sure my relatives in Germany saw Hitler too, but I never got to talk to them to find out.
9:24 AM Mr. Blue
I don't know if she technically "met" Hitler, but she was inches away from him.
9:24 AM Mr. Brown
Well for you its cool cause you have a story. Mine stops with "my relatives are from Germany".
9:25 AM Mr. Silver
Herr Braun "And so, Mein Fuhrer, I think that is why Russia would be an easy win."
9:25 AM Mr. Silver
Hitler "Very compelling Herr Braun...I believe we will act on this."
9:32 AM Mr. Brown
I really want to find all my relatives in history; do a family tree.
9:32 AM Mr. Amethyst
Me too, but I'm afraid of what I might find (Greek and Scottish)
9:33 AM Mr. Silver
Bad news, Mr. Amethyst...it turns out you are Greek and Scottish.
9:34 AM Mr. Blue
Here's a gun and a bullet for you.



12:38 PM Mr. Silver
"The guys in R&D are thinking something more like these models: New Armor For Women
12:42 PM Mr. Blue
Protect those breasts!
"Are you hit?"
"I’m fine; the bullet just grazed my boob."
"NOOOOOO!  WHY GOD WHY?" *puts her out of her misery*
12:45 PM Mr. Silver
(film fades, podium lights up with colonel behind) "Gentlemen, we cannot allow a situation like this in the US military again."



11:56 AM Mr. Blue
I can't believe there's men's beach volleyball.  Gross.
11:56 AM Mr. Silver
Bikinis and all?
11:57 AM Mr. Blue
Probably.
Speedos maybe.
11:57 AM Mr. Brown
Yeah
They wear the tight shorts, not Speedos.
11:57 AM Mr. Silver
"11:56 Mr. Blue
I can't believe there's men's beach volleyball.  Gross!  I watched it for hours...those tight butts and bulges and those teeny suits were really distracting."
11:57 AM Mr. Brown
Which makes it not so bad to watch.
11:58 AM Mr. Silver
Good timing Mr. Brown.



11:58 AM Mr. Blue
I’d like to be an Olympic archery coach.
"Try to hit the middle of the target."
11:59 AM Mr. Brown
Well, there actually is more to it than that.
11:59 AM Mr. Blue
Oh really?
11:59 AM Mr. Brown
It has to do with constancy.
If you have the right technique, you will do it the same every time.
Usually the coach is teaching the technique; the person has to have the ability to shoot in general
12:02 PM Mr. Blue
I think that should be a prerequisite before you try for any Olympic archery team.
"Must be able to shoot a bow in general"
12:02 PM Mr. Brown
Sometimes not the case though.
12:02 PM Mr. Silver
No?
12:02 PM Mr. Blue
LOL
12:02 PM Mr. Silver
"Ever shoot one of these?"
"No...where's the trigger?"
12:03 PM Mr. Blue
"I like your honesty.. you're on the team."
12:04 PM Mr. Brown
I guess from listening to this that the South Korean coach wants them to shoot the way he wants them to shoot, not their own way.
12:05 PM Mr. Silver
Oh...you mean from commentators who have to try to think of things to say for a long time during a match?
12:05 PM Mr. Brown
Yeah
LOL
12:05 PM Mr. Silver
Announcer 1 - "Welcome to Olympic archery! First up is Sun from China...There's nothing to say...let's watch him shoot."
Announcer 2 - "Sun started shooting when he was 5, and his coach-"
Announcer 1 – "Stop it. Just stop talking and watch...it’s archery."
12:06 PM Mr. Blue
The archery commentator was annoying: "A lot of people think this is easy, but it's really not!"
Well I wasn't thinking it was easy before, but now that you mentioned it, I am.
12:06 PM Mr. Blue
He'd call whether or not it was a good shot before the arrow even hit the target.  And "good shots" would often be way off the target.



1:51 PM Mr. Silver
"Kim Jong Un Upset Olympic Committee Will Not Let Him Win All Gold Medals Like Dad Did" 
1:53 PM Mr. Gray
LMAO
1:54 PM Mr. Silver
"Most regions will face huge damages if our great leader is not permitted in to sweep the decathlon."
1:54 PM Mr. Gray
LMAO
1:56 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL



Mr. Silver
"...and that's Camel OH...like the soup."
(sigh) I know 'Campbell' has had a silent P for a long time around here, but a silent B too?
Also, "Camel soup” sounds revolting.
12:37 PM Mr. Amethyst
LOL Yes it does.
12:37 PM Mr. Silver
Next time a Bedu offers me some, I'll try it and let you know.
12:40 PM Mr. Blue
Speaking of, are dates any good?
I don't think I’ve ever had any.
12:47 PM Mr. Silver
They're OK.
12:48 PM Mr. Amethyst
No promising leads there, Mr. Blue?
12:49 PM Mr. Silver
Oh! You meant dates with girls?
12:49 PM Mr. Blue
No.
12:49 PM Mr. Silver
Hehe



7:52 AM Mr. Brown
7:53 AM Mr. Silver
"Jesus is in my taco...and he's pissed off!"
7:53 AM Mr. Brown
LOL
I just love those kinds of things.
Like Jesus would show up in a taco.
7:54 AM Mr. Silver
"The lower part of the picture appears to show Jesus's arm holding Mitt Romney in a headlock."
7:54 AM Mr. Brown
From now on, every taco you eat will be blessed.
And your case of the runs afterward will be blessed.
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